Category Archives: Movie News & Opinions

Hasslehoff + Piranha + 3D = OMFG

If there was anything that could put Piranha 3DD over the top for best worst movie ever, it would be this bit of news from IGN:

Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff has been cast in the latest water-terror film, Piranha 3DDDimension Films has announced.

The action star/recording artist/author/pop-culture phenomenon joins a cast that already includes Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Paul Scheer, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka and David Koechner.

Piranha 3DD is set at a water park that becomes infested with the infamous flesh-eating fish. We don’t yet know what role The Hoff will play, but the film is set for release on November 23.

Man, I can’t wait to see who Hasselhoff plays in this movie. Perhaps an exterminator who specializes in destroying prehistoric piranha? Maybe a water park mogul? Hell I’d even be satisfied with a singer who is adored by the people of Germany at this point. Maybe we’ll even get to see him in a scene where he’s drunk and mowing down a big ol’ fish sandwich. 

Either way, if that didn’t make you want to see this piece of cinematic art in the theater on day 1, then you are not a human and have no soul to speak of. However the picture below will most likely suck the living soul out of your body into the disgusting black hole that is the Hoff’s man thong.


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Fright Night: Doctor Who, Checkov, and Vampires…

Finally! Finally there is a trailer for the reboot of 1985’s vampire tale, Fright Night! With an August 2011 release it certainly took them long enough. The original Fright Night had some pretty cheesy moments to be sure, but Chris Sarandon looked great in his vampire form, and put on a great performance as Jerry Dandridge; the smooth talking vampire next door. Roddy McDowell was more than superb in his role of Peter Vincent the Great Vampire Killer, and his role is now filled by ‘Doctor Who’ star: David Tennant.


The premise of the movie is simple yet fun, which is all you really need from a vampire movie in my opinion:

Charley Brewster is a regular kid with the normal problems of a teenage life, but his problems only get bigger as his new neighbor Jerry moves in. Due to the urging of his friend Ed and some snooping of his own Charley deduces that Jerry is in fact a vampire. And what’s worse is that Jerry knows that Charley knows… and even more worse no one believes Charley.

Also, you might recognize our hero Charley, played by Anton Yelchin who has made a name for himself the last couple years with roles like Chekov in Star Trek and as a young Kyle Reese in Terminator: Salvation. Kid is up and coming!

I’m thinking that looks pretty damned good. It can’t surpass the original no matter how cheesy it was, but this new one I am looking at as a completely different film, rather than a step by step remake. It looks like a hybrid of Disturbia and The Lost Boys to tell you the truth – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Colin Farrell looks like he was born to play a vampire and I initially has misgivings with him being cast in the role, but it seems like he is back in demand with Fright Night, Horrible Bosses and the new Total Recall all set to come out in the near future. I was disappointed we weren’t given a glimpse of Tennant as Peter Vincent, but I suppose it’s good to not spoil everything with a trailer. I can even live with Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin’ Fogel) being cast as Evil Ed, because lord knows the original played by Stephen Geoffreys was a bit annoying at times. And Geoffreys has had an interesting filmography since Fright Night (Ahem! Porn!)…

I’m interested to know what all of my fellow Fright Night fans think of the new trailer. Worth seeing or not? I’m pumped for it in a big way, a big reason being that Hollywood has been dropping the ball on Vampires in general since the Twilight craze. True Blood is even hard for me to watch, but it’s a hell of a lot better than Twilight.

Sound off below people!

Another Highlander Anyone?

For a concept of there can be only one, there sure have been a lot of fricking Highlander movies. And wouldn’t you know it, they all became progressively worse. Yes after about five movies they finally figured out the whole deal stopped working after the first one… until now. Today we have Justin Lin, who is the director of the latest installment of the Fast and Furious franchise, Fast Five. Apparently that movie grossing over 80 million in its first weekend has Lin on the fast track to directing a couple of pretty big Sci-Fi franchise movies. The biggest of course being the next Terminator movie with Arnold and the other being a new Highlander movie. Here’s what Lin had to say in article from the fine folks of Gamma Squad:

[quote]“I’ve been working with [Iron Man writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway] on the script. That’s one where Summit has been really good [about letting it develop], and for me, it’s about making sure that we can take it to the place where I feel comfortable and great about making it. I feel like I have a very good studio and team and we’re working on it.”[/quote]

Not much to go on, but the guy feels pretty good about the whole thing. But then again so did Joe Johnston about Jurassic Park 3 and Bret Ratner about X-Men: The Last Stand. We all know how those turned out. Runny dog poop comes to mind every time I think about those two so-called movies.

The Highlander story and first movie were extremely entertaining in my opinion. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it: The story follows a group of immortals throughout the ages as they fight one another for the ultimate power over mankind, known as the “Quickening” which can only be obtained by the last remaining immortal: Hence the tagline “there can be only one”. To kill one another the immortals must perform a decapitation. Seems simple and it was but the movie really is pretty good. Plus, Sean Connery is in it.

I think a new movie could definitely have some success, but I just have little faith in the Fast Five director. Filming car chases and explosions is one thing, but a story is a different matter. Just ask Michael Bay.

Any Highlander fans out there excited for the prospect of a new movie or a reboot? Or are we afraid that Channing Tatum or Robert Pattinson will be the next Highlander?


‘Pan’ Movie Picks Up Three Actors

It would appear that the newest Peter Pan movie will not feature Channing Tatum pretending to be a little boy and flying around in green tights, and thank heavens that is the case. Instead we will get yet another reimagining of a beloved classic in the vein of the recent Alice in Wonderland and the upcoming Oz: The Great and Powerful. However it appears so far that this film will not take place in Neverland.

Here is a description of the movie’s plot and three excellent actors/actresses joining the new film from IGN:

Continue reading ‘Pan’ Movie Picks Up Three Actors

Ironclad: An Awesome Trailer and a Very Big Sword

To my knowledge there hasn’t been much in the way of a good medieval movie lately. One where guys kick tons of ass with swords, arrows, axes and blood. I don’t count Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe because honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to like it. I wanted desperately to, but to this day I’d still rather watch Prince of Thieves instead. I was terribly partial to Centurion, but I’m not so sure many others were. Iron Clad however looks like it may restore some glory to the realm of blood and steel.

As you can see the movie stars such spectacular actors as James Purefoy, Brian Cox, and Paul Giamatti. Purefoy is just coming off a short stint on the Starz series Camelot, in which he played a glorious villain named King Lot. I would say that this is an odd role for Giamatti, but he can definitely hold his own in a period piece as is proof of his role of John Adams in the HBO mini series. And Brian Cox can’t really be bad in anything, let alone something set in the olden days. Rob Roy or Troy anyone? Behold the trailer:

Uhhhhh…. whoa. I’m liking the looks of that! Giamatti looks good as a bitchy King John, unleashing his wrath on Rochester Castle against Purefoy and the Knights Templar he leads against the tyrannical king. I’m sure it’s 100 percent historically accurate too. Just look at the size of James Purefoy’s blade to make the decision on whether or not to see this movie in July.

Heyoooo!