Category Archives: Movie News & Opinions

Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Yeah, I said 5

Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides hasn’t even made it into theaters yet and we’ve already been hit with this recent news from Yahoo!:

Johnny Depp’s tour guide on his “Pirates of the Caribbean” voyages is plotting the course for a fifth installment even before the fourth movie sails into theaters.

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer says he has a screenplay in the works for a fifth “Pirates” tale after May’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” comes out.

Continue reading Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Yeah, I said 5

“Sorry Jack, Chucky’s Back”: Child’s Play Returns *UPDATED*

The Child’s Play movies were a big part of my adolescent youth…comically that is. Yes, I’ll admit that I was frightened of the first installment as a little kid, but once I re-watched it during my freshman year of high school I found it, and the sequels to be effing hilarious. After the first one, not only did the kills get more ridiculous (stabbing a lady with an air pump and then finishing her off with a meter stick?), but also, our old pal Chucky had a tendency to yell. He yelled when he was pissed. He yelled when killing people. He even yelled while chasing people.

Continue reading “Sorry Jack, Chucky’s Back”: Child’s Play Returns *UPDATED*

Natalie Portman VS Her Body Double

Ahhhh, there’s nothing like a fresh dose of controversy to start your Monday off right. It’s even better when you can’t figure out why so many people or news outlets care enough to make it a controversy, and I can’t decide whether I’m helping or hindering it right now.

So here it is: Natalie Portman is being accused by her body double Sarah Lane, of not doing hardly any of the actual dancing in the ballet scenes of the movie Black Swan. According to an article on OTRC, Lane claims that Portman only did five percent of her dancing parts in the movie, while Portman’s fiancée Benjamin Milliepied said it was her 85 percent of the time. Darren Aronofsky and Mila Kunis both also back up Portman.

The biggest question that I pose however is; Who gives a crap?

As everyone probably knows by now, Natalie Portman won the ‘Best Actress Oscar’ this year for her performance in Black Swan. I thought the movie was okay, but critics everywhere have praised it as a masterpiece of cinema. And now it all comes down to this? She didn’t do her fair share of ballet dancing? I would hope Darren Aronofsky focused more on the story itself, and bringing out the best acting in his cast than on ballet dancing. Is everyone supposed to be surprised she had a body double for the dancing part? I was more interested in other parts of the film, you know, the parts where Natalie Portman is losing her mind and morphing into a f–king Swan. After watching the “scene” with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis my first reaction is: what ballet?

Until they add in a best ballet dancer category at the Academy Awards maybe Sarah Lane should switch her face to the off position.

“I’m sorry? Did you say a Ballet? I wasn’t paying attention.”

I may be a bit biased because I’m a dude and think Natalie Portman is one of the best things to happen to geeks since the Star Wars prequels were announced. (Which sounded good at the time but turned out not so good.) After the Serena Williams controversy a couple of days ago (click her name for link.) it seems like highly successful women are coming under fire from some of the most ridiculous nonsense.

I for one could care less about Natalie’s dancing prowess at this point because I’m eagerly awaiting the upcoming comedy starring herself, James Franco and Danny McBride titled Your Highness, which comes out next Friday – April 8th. Swords, Sorcery and Natalie Portman in a thong anyone?

Our review of Your Highness will soon follow its release.

Oz. You Know, the Great and Powerful…and Mila Kunis

It seems like Oz: The Great and Powerful is gearing up to be quite a flick. This is a prequel to the much beloved Judy Garland classic from 1939. It takes place years prior to Dorthy and Toto’s arrival, this time focusing on the arrival ‘the Wizard’; James Franco. I’m a big fan of Franco, and I can’t wait to see him in his portrayal of the Wizard, as he arrives in the land of Oz. His character is described as such:

“a fast-talking snake oil salesman and illusionist who flees a traveling circus and winds up whisked away in a hot air balloon by a tornado to Oz where he must face off against real magic and the sisters battling for control of the land.”

Continue reading Oz. You Know, the Great and Powerful…and Mila Kunis

Hollywood’s Compulsion: Sequels We Don’t Need

Have you checked the Zodiac lately? Because it is of course the year of the sequel. That’s right, 27 major studio sequels to be exact. It must be the current Hollywood fad right now to give every movie a 3D sequel. Below are recently announced and upcoming movies that follow up other movies that did not warrant a sequel to begin with. Actually some didn’t even deserve to have a first one made, but let’s go over them:

Bad Santa 2

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According to IGN Billy Bob Thornton is in talks to reprise his role as the foul-mouthed mall Santa from the first 2003 movie. But the biggest question is why? Do we really need a sequel to such a let down, crude movie starring an actor who hasn’t had a decent role since his only noteworthy acting turn in Sling Blade? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for crude movies. I love ’em. But a sequel to Bad Santa eight or nine years after the fact seems like doing a sequel to Battlefield Earth a decade later. Admittedly, I may just be hating on Billy Bob because he effectively ruined any fantasy I could have about Halle Berry, after sloppily plowing her in Monsters Ball. Thank you Mr. Thornton, that is now burned into my retinas.

American Pie 4: American Reunion

I’m not really sure how this one will go, but I’m pretty sure they’ll have no problems rounding up the likes of Chris Klein, Jason Biggs, Mena Suvari and Tara Reid to do this movie. Lord knows they aren’t doing anything of note at this point in their careers. Eugene Levy and Sean William Scott are the only ones who will add any entertainment to this, the fourth entry into the American Pie franchise. Well, it’s the fourth if you’re not counting the four Direct-to-DVD sequels starring no one from the originals except Eugene Levy.

Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance

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The first Ghost Rider was so bad I honestly think I’ve somehow erased it from my memory, or aliens did because the recurrent nightmares I kept having from its suckiness interrupted their sleep study of me. This is one movie there should not be a sequel of. Reboot? Maybe. But a sequel, yet again starring Nicholas Cage? No! No! No! I don’t care if nothing from the first film is mentioned, because having to look at Cage’s face the entire time will only be a constant reminder of how much scum inhalation the first movie performed. (Basically the movie was a scum sucker.) Seriously Cage, turn Drive Angry into a franchise and get it over with.

Check out details on Spirit of Vengeance at SupaScoot’s Action News!

Clash of the Titans 2

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Honestly, I did enjoy the 2010 version of Clash of the Titans. It was entertaining to me, and I saw it in 2D instead of that “slimy piece of worm ridden filth” (Thank you Han Solo) they tried to pass off as a 3D feature. Imagine how I would have enjoyed it if actors like Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson were utilized better, and the story didn’t seem like a fan fiction written by a 16-year old ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ fan. The effects and action were good, but I was hoping they would just end it with Clash of the Titans being an entertaining, dumb action flick. But no, they’ve come back for more. At least the story for Wrath of the Titans sounds decent, you can read about that here.

Fast Five

This Fast and the Furious sequel just got downright lazy. Maybe the next one will just be called Fast6, all bunched together like that. I was not a fan of the first movie, didn’t get a chance to see the second one, and flat out refused to see the Tokyo Drift. And though I actually enjoyed the fourth movie, Fast and Furious, Fast Five looks extremely entertaining to me, so I will be checking it out even if it wasn’t warranted. I mean come on, they are throwing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson into the mix. However, if they had decided to end the franchise with number 4 I wouldn’t have cared at all.

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

Two words sum up Revenge of the Fallen for me; Colossal Failure. It took me awhile to come to grips with that, but multiple views at theater, and a purchase on DVD finally did it. That’s when I noticed more and more how terrible the film was when robots weren’t beating the ever-loving cybernetic crap out of each other. Shame on me. Even though the franchise should have ended with part two, it was a given with the amount of box office cash it raked in that a 3rd installment was inevitable. But that doesn’t mean it should be happening. This is another I will be seeing, giving Michael Bay a second chance to make something even comparable to the first Transformers. I may be setting myself up for a huge fit of gouging my eyes out at the theater, but that is a risk that I’m willing to take.

Now I understand I’ve committed to seeing half of the movies I just described as being ‘sequels we don’t need’, but I can’t do anything to stop them from being cranked out of the Hollywood machine. So I’ll just buckle up and hope the ride doesn’t suck too much.