Category Archives: SPORTS

WWE Wrestlemania 27 Review: The Year of the Snooki

Wrestlemania officially came and went tonight. It sometimes sizzled, but most times fizzled. I watched it with my brother tonight, getting that nostalgic feeling watching it at times. And yes… we both know and have known for a very long time that wrestling is indeed fake. However, this is a tradition we do try to keep every year and it was for the most part very entertaining. Certain wrestlers we thought would emerge victorious did not in several matches, especially in the first match that we will start with.

Championship Match: Alberto Del Rio V.S. Edge

Surprisingly the first match of the night was for the World Heavyweight Championship belt that is usually retained by the champion on Smackdown, which is currently held by the Rated R Superstar Edge. His challenger… this year’s Royal Rumble winner Alberto Del Rrrrrrrriiiioooooo! And yes, he is a rich Mexican themed wrestler who drives out to every match in a Rolls-Royce. But down to business…

I thought for sure Del Rio was going to come out on top for this one. This guy has been built up on Smackdown for months now and it all culminated with a shocking win in the Royal Rumble. I knew for sure he wasn’t going to challenge the WWE Champion from Raw, so it was a given it would be a Del Rio/Edge matchup at Wrestlemania. What I didn’t bank on was Del Rio losing to Edge. I’m not so sure this will be the end of their feud nor the end of Del Rio as a contender, but one thing is for sure – Del Rio looked like a whiny little bitch after the match while Edge beat the crap out of his Rolls-Royce with a crowbar. I don’t know about you guys but I’d be intervening ASAP on someone smashing a car that nice.

Overall this was a pretty entertaining match, with little interference by those outside the ring by Del Rio’s ring announcer Ricardo and the rotund Brodus Clay. Plenty of spears and arm breakers to go around. Winner: Edge


Cody Rhodes v.s. Rey Mysterio

In this match we were able to see the Rhodes/Mysterio feud come to a head. You see, the once Dashing Cody Rhodes has recently had to wear a face mask to protect his face from further damage after reconstructive surgery. He needed the surgery, he claims, due to the devastating 619 Mysterio gave to him months ago. Apparently Rey Mysterio’s knee brace added a little more power to the infamous move.

One interesting moment was before the match began as Mysterio entered the arena wearing a Captain America styled outfit. I can only say at least he took off the ridiculous red gloves before the match started. A valiant effort Rey, but maybe you should lay off the superhero them.

The match itself wasn’t overly long, but filled with all the high-flying maneuvers that Rey Mysterio is famous for. The match took a ridiculous turn when Cody’s mask was removed (Interestingly I didn’t see any sign of facial reconstruction.) and used by Rey to headbutt him several times. Then to top it off, Cody used Rey’s own knee brace to pummel him and then finish the match with the Crossroads. Sorry little Rey, but maybe you can get some revenge on Raw tonight. Winner: Cody Rhodes

 

 

The Corre V.S. Kane, Big Show, Santino and Kofi

This match was a bit useless and thankfully short. Though it had plenty of superstars I normally enjoy, any match where the walking joke Santino leads them to a win is enough to make me puke. After starting the match, it instantly gets out of control once Big Show gets in to start destroying Heath Slater. After Ezekiel gets in to take out Big Show there is a flurry of specialty moves occurring left and right. Santino then does his patented Cobra strike to Heath Slater and Big Show finishes him off with a ham sized fist to the face, winning the match with a pinfall. I think the match lasted all of six minutes, so thanks for the throwaway match WWE. And also please fire Santino. Winners: Kane, Big Show, Santino and Kofi Kingston.

Losers x4

Randy Orton V.S. CM Punk

Straight Edge Scumbag

Another match with no title hanging in the balance, only a possible end to another long running feud between two fan favorite superstars. After all the skull kicking CM Punk and his Nexus minions have received from Randy’s foot, tonight was the night to end it all hopefully. The match was nothing special, but well paced and ending in true Randy Orton style…. with a mid-air RKO to end the match. Again, I am very pleased with the absence of all the outside interference that ruins the pay per view matches. Now maybe Randy Orton can get back into the race for the WWE Championship that has eluded him these past months. I can’t tell anymore if people want to see Randy as a hero or villain (Face or Heel). Personally I want to see him back at his twisted sadistic self, but against someone other than John Cena. Winner: Randy Orton

Orton loves kicking skulls…

Jerry Lawler V.S. Michael Cole

“Uhhh Derrrr…”

I couldn’t wait for this match because I’ve been aching to see Michael Cole get a real good beating because quite frankly I can’t freakin’ stand him. Hearing him drone on with obvious bias to the villains in each match was bad enough but then before the match we had to hear him even more on his trek to the ring. At least Stone Cold Steve Austin busted out on a four-wheeler to shut the little weasel up for a bit.

After Lawler comes out and some prodding to get Cole in the ring the match finally starts with Jack Swagger in Cole’s corner and Steve Austin as the special referee. Cole gets a cheap shot in on Lawler and beats on him for a bit until Lawler finally gets ahold of him. Swagger actually tries to throw in the towel to call the match off which Stone Cold promptly uses to wipe off the sweat from his bald head before giving Mr. Swagger a Stone Cold Stunner. Lawler proceeds to whoop on Cole until he taps out from an ankle lock submission hold. Cue applause and Austin and Lawler enjoy a few beers together in the ring before the general manager sends and e-mail announcement that commentator Josh Matthews reads to the audience.

It turns out the still “anonymous” general manager of Raw thought that Austin interfered too much on Lawler’s behalf and disqualifies him making Cole the actual winner. This must have been hard to announce given the fact that Michael Cole recently called Matthews a “faggot” over twitter. To make matters even worse in a stunning move (pun intended) Lawler throws Matthews in the ring to get a Stunner from Austin. Talk about killing the messenger. Inexplicably, Austin’s Tough Enough partner in crime Booker T leaves the commentators table to join Austin and Lawler in celebrating by doing his famous break dancing in the middle of the ring. Then, in what I thought was the funniest part of the night, Booker T begins to drink a beer offered to him by Austin before he is also given a Stone Cold Stunner. A huge geyser of spit out beer and Booker T on the ground follows with Austin smiling and saying something to the effect of – “I had to do it.” Vintage Austin. Official Winner: Michael Cole


Undertaker V.S. Triple H

“Nice hammer….”

This was the match that I think everyone including myself were waiting for and it was by far the best match of the night. Sure there weren’t any titles on the line or even a career long feud between the two. Triple H was just the next obvious choice to attempt breaking the Undertaker’s unbeaten Wrestlemania streak which at this point stood at 18-0. To make it even better this was a no holds barred, no disqualifications or count out match and these two superstars definitely took it to the limit.

They broke the spanish commentators’ table of course. They used the steel steps and a nice folding chair. They both executed their specialty moves, with Triple H using at least two Pedigrees on the Taker. But pin after pin neither of these wrestling behemoths would yield. In the coolest moment of the match, Triple H gave the Undertaker his own move: the tombstone piledriver. To add insult to injury, Triple H even pinned the Undertaker as he himself would but shockingly the phenom kicked out of the pin. Triple H finally resorted to going beneath the ring for his patented tool the trusty sledgehammer to finish things but was surprised by being locked into the Taker’s submission move the Hell’s Gate. After what seemed like an eternity Triple H finally gave several weakened taps of the hand to signal his surrender and now the record still stands…. 19-0. I have to admit I thought that Triple H might win the match and end the Undertaker’s streak but now I think the WWE will let him retire with the record intact, maybe after win number 20. Winner: The Undertaker

 

 

Snooki, Trish Stratus and John Morrison V.S. Laycool and Dolph Zigler

“I can haz cheezburger?”

This is actually a match that I couldn’t give a dead moose’s last crap about, because I hate Jersey Shore and everyone involved in it. Especially Snooki. But I will definitely let you know who won so we can stop wasting time with it. Snooki, Stratus and John Morrison won the match after we had to see the horrendous Snooki do a front flip and expose her jelly rolls to all. Thank you for that WWE. Winners: Who cares.

 

Main Event: Cena V.S. Miz (Champion)

 

This match was very much like the Jericho/Triple H follow up to the Hulk Hogan/Rock match-up at Wrestlemania 18; it’s a tough act to follow up. Try as this match might, it could not live up to the Undertaker-Triple H match that took place earlier in the night. It came down to the same stuff we see Cena and Miz doing nearly every Monday night and it just bored me. I fully expected Cena to win and when he didn’t I suppose that was the only surprise to come of it. I hate Cena but I definitely hate the Miz more so I was actually pulling for Cena to come out on top. The short match actually had a couple of surprising twists. Cena destroys Miz outside of the ring, at one point hurting himself too resulting in their joint count out. The title then stays in Miz’s hands. But wait, the Rock who is the host of this Wrestlemania comes out and begins to read a new e-mail from the general manager before stopping and smashing the computer. Rock then declares that the match will restart with no disqualifications or count outs. The match commences and in annoying fashion the Rock interferes with a Rock Bottom for Cena. The Miz pins him and wins. But the Rock isn’t finished, because he proceeds to attack the Miz also and gives him the most electrifying move in sports! (The People’s Elbow.) So a very lackluster ending to Wrestlemania which left a sour taste in my mouth. I was glad to have The Rock back but what a stupid way to end the biggest wrestling event of the year. Boo! Winner: The Miz

 

Check out what happened the following night at RAW!!!

 

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OSU’s Jim Tressel: The Sweater Vest is Dead to Me

There’s a Scarlet and Gray elephant in the NCAA room. The ‘Sweater Vest’ himself, Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel, has admitted to withholding information from the NCAA for 8 months pertaining to violations. These violations later lead to the suspensions of players for selling memorabilia and keepsakes in exchange for tattoos and other benefits.

The current punishment? Two games and $250,000. This naturally brings up questions regarding proper punishment and leadership.

– Does the punishment fit the crime?
– Should Tressel be fired?
– Does the football team demonstrate a lack of institutional control?
– Are we even surprised at this point?

Before I go further, for those that do not know who I am, I did attend THE Ohio State University. I do have a love for the Buckeyes that my home state of Michigan claims would be unnatural. I have seen both sides of the rivalry and have been booed at my high school graduation when they announced I was bucking (pun intended) the trend and heading to Columbus. I even shared a dorm with the infamous Maurice Clarett.

I expect to be accused of being an Ohio State slappy, but that is just the way it rolls. I am in a position to comment, because I follow OSU’s athletics and have an understanding to how the Sweater Vest works.

I did meet Jim Tressel once, back in 2001. I shook his hand as he welcomed me, well me and the rest of the class of 2005 to the campus. He had a firm, strong handshake and was poised in delivering his speech to us freshman. It was his first year and he wanted to let us know we will be proud of our football team in two months, when they march into the University of Michigan and beat the Wolverines. He did keep his word on victory. However, pride in my team has wavered in the last decade.

Jim Tressel and Ohio State got off on the right foot. We beat Michigan in his first year as head coach and won a national championship the next year. That was then followed however, with the debacle of academic fraud concerning the aforementioned Clarett.

After that mess, Ohio State settled into the groove of being the BCS representative of the Big Ten, sending numerous players to the NFL, and gathering hatred from fans all around. Then the Troy Smith booster scandal happened and our Quarterback was suspended for the Alamo Bowl in 2004, as well as the first two games of the 2005 season.

Tressel has always carried a reputation of having issues with player benefits, resulting in NCAA eyeballs starring his way since his years at D-I AA (now Division I’s Football Championship Subdivision) Youngstown State. He was pretty much the Pete Carroll equivalent of the Midwest. Some diehard fans though argued that some team and coach had to fill the role of ‘most hated’ during the last few weeks of the regular season. Seeing OSU as undeserving of the praise in the national eye due to the disasters against the SEC in the BCS Championship games that capped off the 2006 and 2007 seasons.

The Buckeyes always a chip on their shoulder and seem to always be under a scrutinizing eye. Their reasoning was that they were elite and people always want to take down Goliath. Others though said that the team was only good because they let the players do whatever the hell they want. Naturally, evidence in May 2009 reported by The Columbus Dispatch, shows that Ohio State reported to the NCAA more than 375 violations. That number is staggering, but I think what is most alarming is that most of the violations resulted in little or no punishment.

When the ‘Tat Five’, the athletes punished that are at the heart of this issue, were handed their suspensions, it was laughable and frustrating. Laughable because the compliance office at Ohio State is a joke, saying that they never had the chance to educate the athletes about giving autographs for benefits being in violation, or that selling their awards would also result in some form of punishment. Frustrating because these athletes that had these awards bestowed upon them for sharing in one of the best rivalries in sports, threw school pride out the window and took the cash.

I looked for Tressel to provide leadership, to set the example these men need to follow. Show them that what they did is a slap in the face to the fans, and let us face it – stupid, because their eligibility was on the line. All I got was the Big Ten Commissioner and Ohio State stepping in and getting their star players on the field for a BCS game followed by pointless suspensions during the mostly fluff schedule in 2011.

Weak as it was, I was willing to forgive the stupidity of the punishment, mostly because as a fan, I wanted to win the damn Arkansas game, and I hated Ryan Mallett. Tressel supposedly stepped in and got promises from these players. Promises to serve the suspensions and make sure they learn from the whole experience. Yet here I sit, writing an article asking why this was necessary.

Let’s face it; Coach Tressel is not going to miss his $250,000. Ohio State will give him yet another extension in two years that will easily cover the salary loss. He will sleep at night soundly. Jim Tressel owns Ohio State. The president of OSU Gordon Gee was asked whether he’d considered dismissing Tressel, Gee’s response:

“No. Are you kidding me? I just hope the coach doesn’t dismiss me.”

That’s strong leadership, and maybe that is the problem. No one is willing to tell Coach Tressel to put aside football and just think about being the poised leader, the person that Buckeye nation looks up to, a person that is supposed to represent integrity for Ohio State. That person currently does not exist. I just see a coach that will do anything to put himself in the best position to win. He is not going be fired because it is his sole job to win football games. Winning football games generates money for the university so really, who is going to challenge his authority?

I get that he wants to cover for these players but really, what are we teaching here? That people are above the system? Whether it’s the players using their fame for profit, or the coach keeping information to increase his competitive advantage, I was promised I was going to be proud of my university. All I got was a lousy handshake.

The NFL Lockout

So I am watching a spring training game between my Detroit Tigers and the Atlanta Braves, and baseball is by far my favorite sport. I am enjoying watching the veterans get their mandatory 2 innings or so, and then letting all the prospects get in there for a little bit. I should be in baseball dork heaven right now. But I am not. To blame, is none other than the National Football League. Tonight at 11:59 pm barring any extensions of the agreement, which has been requested by the League for an additional week or two, the management will lockout the players, and we will be in a period with no football. Now if that meant that Shane Falco would jump in there and lead a team to Super Bowl glory, I would be perfectly happy. However this happy scenario will not be the one that pans out.

Continue reading The NFL Lockout

Dr. Ndamukong: or How I learned to stop worrying & love a rookie…

So the Lions appear to have finally done something right. Last year’s 1st round pick, DT Ndamukong Suh exceeded even the loftiest of expectations. He plays old school, punch ’em in the mouth football. And the maturity he’s shown so far in his early career has been impressive to say the least.

Continue reading Dr. Ndamukong: or How I learned to stop worrying & love a rookie…