Grizzly Review: Immortals

I’m not the only one who sensed a little bit of homo eroticism in 300 right? I mean, I can’t be the only one who thought that men jumping around in a cup and a cape is just a little indulgent, right? Don’t get me wrong, 300 is an awesome movie, it’s just an observation.

Much like 300, the new Greek mythology action flick, Immortals, offers us men with barely any clothes on who are pretty much ripped. Immortals, which is about a peasant named Theseus who ends up leading a small army against the much larger army of King Hyperion, the man who killed his mother.

I’ll be honest, Immortals really isn’t a film packed with great plotting, but it doesn’t have to be. It offers us the right amount of story, a good amount of action, and enough characterization to make us care about what happens to our heroes and heroines. It’s an old school action flick with state of the art effects and top-notch fight choreography.
Henry Cavill, who plays Theseus, gives a more than acceptable performance, and has a very bright future in action films, with his next role being Superman in the upcoming film Man of Steel. Mickey Rourke also gives it his all as King Hyperion, a truly evil man. Stephen Dorff has an important and frankly awesome supporting role as Stavros, a fast-talking slave who helps Theseus and his band of Greek slaves break free. Frieda Pinto plays the ridiculously gorgeous Phaedra, the virgin Oracle who is also freed by Stavros and Theseus.

Above all the acting, plotting, and writing, though, are the visuals. Tarsem Singh, the director of Immortals, makes the film look perfect, and shoots some of the most gorgeous action sequences that you’ll probably ever see in a movie. Decapitations and disembowelments never looked so good. The visual effects are seamlessly intertwined with the real sets to create a truly breathtaking amount of scenery.

If Immortals has one thing going for it besides its visuals, it’s the action. The build-up to the final 35 minute epic battle is classic, familiar, but at the same time fresh and inviting. The action is leveled out very well between all the characters, giving each one a good amount of brawling to do. Out of all the exceptional sequences, though, one stands out from all of them; the fight between the Gods and the Titans, which are the Greek mythology equivalent of zombies, except zombies never kicked ass like the Titans.

For those of you saying, “Oh, it’s not historically accurate”, or “That’s not what the original myth was about.” All I can say is, I don’t care at all. Immortals is creative, beautiful, brutal, violent, and intriguing in its ability to tell a story through the simple sweep of a knife. It’s the most unpretentious movie of the year, and also the coolest looking one. How audiences did not embrace this more, I’ll never know. It out-300s, 300, which is saying a lot considering the bad-assery that was 300. Do yourself a favor, go veg out with Immortals. It’s not meant to be taken too seriously, and it really is just a good time at the theater.

4/5 Bears

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