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Star Wars: The Clone Wars 4.19 -‘Massacre’ Review

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The Clone Wars is wrapping up its fourth season with a bang as the first of the last four episodes airs in the form of “Massacre“. We see Ventress making her return to Dathomir and swearing full allegiance to the Night Sisters of Dathomir, forsaking the Sith. Count Dooku in the meantime has ordered General Grievous to strike hard at the planet and rid the galaxy of the witches. These rich Sith types just tend to hold a major grudge ya know?

https://youtu.be/zFcZd2502ik

It was actually kind of hard to decide which group of scumbags to root for. I mean, Grievous and the Separatists are a no brainer, they suck. But the Night Sisters are equally as shady, with the hairless harpy leading the charge of laser bow-wielding Night Sisters and even a contingent of zombie Night Sisters. Yes, you heard me…. zombie Night Sisters. They were definitely creepy as hell, but nowhere near as creepy as the wrinkled old Night Sister who is even older than Mother Talzin. I thought Talzin’s double-layered voice was unnerving enough but the oldest Night Sister blew it away with all of her crazy chanting.

So, even though the battle itself was pretty awesome there was no indication of why it would be best if one side or the other was to win. I’m actually a little sick of Grievous being bested over and over again in combat, but even as he lost to Ventress after a short spar he went on quite the killing spree and savagely killed the super old Night Sister and her guards. One might wonder what happened to Mother Talzin but I’m sure we’ve not seen the last of her.

Clone Wars - Zombies

The force magic of the Night Sisters was an interesting thing to see, albeit some was a little ridiculous. I find it curious how Talzin was able to procure a lock of Dooku’s hair, but it’s a minute detail. The episode certainly did live up to its name. It truly did turn into a massacre as not one Night Sister except Ventress was left alive by the episode’s end. Again, I’m not too broken up about this and I can’t feel much sympathy for Ventress being left all alone. We’ll certainly see where she lands next episode as it appears she may be taking on the role of a bounty hunter!

Stayed tuned next week for the continuation of the Clone Wars ending arc. I give the episode 2 out of 5 grizzlies, great visuals but I just couldn’t find myself caring who won this round on the Clone Wars. Bring on the Maul Bros in a couple weeks!

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Star Wars – The Clone Wars: The Return of Darth Maul Trailer

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It’s been pretty official by now that Darth Maul is returning, and kudos to Lucasfilm for their clever re-release of the Phantom Menace and his simultaneous Clone Wars appearance which is sheer marketing genius. It seems like I can’t go into any store where there are toys or books without seeing that ugly Sith bastard adorned on something. Even my McDonald’s Happy Meal toy was a top spinner with him on it! But anyways….

Maul is back and whether you like it or not you have to admit the trailer for his return in the final season’s arc looks pretty excellent. Not to mention the fact that he is being voiced by none other than Sam Witwer who is a sort of sci-fi superstar at the moment. Witwer has done extensive work with the Star Wars franchise, starting off with the Force Unleashed video games as Darth Vader’s secret apprentice Starkiller who kicked major ass with his uber force abilities. Some may not know that he also voiced the Emperor in the Force Unleashed and did a damn fine job. This is also not his first appearance on the Clone Wars as he also played the Dark Side being “The Son” in the Mortis Trilogy. He also played a large part in the 8th season of Smallville as Davis Bloome A.K.A. Doomsday and is currently playing the vampire Aidan on the American version of Being Human. Being Human was recently renewed by SyFy for it’s third season. And all of that on top of a missed chance to be featured in an entire flashback episode of the Walking Dead in a storyline that was set up by show creator Frank Darabont, but was ultimately discarded after his “leaving” the show. The guy is a talented actor no doubt, but his voice acting sure packs a punch too. Check out the video below to see how intense Witwer gets when he is slipping into his crazy Darth Maul persona:

Freaky ain’t it? For more of the half Sith Lord, check out the FULL trailer below the bump and prepare to change your underpants afterwards:

So it would look as if Ventress is choosing to side with the Night Sisters of Dathomir and that Dooku may be getting some payback for their attempted assassination of him: Grievous style. I’m interested to see the Night Sisters in combat, particularly Mother Talzin who is seen in the trailer unleashing some crazy witch powers on the Separatist forces. But let’s face it, that’s all bantha poodoo compared to what I think may be the best part of the episode arc and that’s Obi-Wan v.s. Maul…. the rematch! This has potential to be one of the best moments on the Clone Wars, overshadowing even the awesomeness that was Savage Oppress’s debut last season. But then again I thought that with the return of Boba Fett and I was left quite crestfallen. But this has to be way better than the little half pint bounty hunter. The part where Maul emit’s a harsh “Jedi!” and his mechanical leg steps on the ground before Obi-Wan was chilling and gave me a case of the goosbumps. What’s everyone’s thought on the whole deal? Expanded Universe blasphemy or totally awesome? I for one am glad they stuck with the Star Wars Visionaries robo-legs concept. It wouldn’t have done to see a Darth Maul walking on his hands and using the lightsaber with his mouth.

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Dark Horse Review – Star Wars: Agent of the Empire #1-3

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After trying to catch up with the Star Wars comic scene over the last month, I’ve come to the conclusion that Agent of the Empire: Iron Eclipse may be one of, if not the best one out there. Sure, Knights of the Old Republic is excellent so far and Dark Times is cool and very…dark. But Agent of the Empire is an awesome blend of Star Wars and James Bond.

Star Wars has been delving into different sub genres with it’s books and comics as of late, starting with the successful Joel Schrieber written Death Troopers and Red Harvest in the horror department. Shadow Games by Michael Reaves and Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff is a mystery of sorts involving Dash Rendar and a famous ‘holo star’. Agent of the Empire is an espionage tale in the galaxy far, far away that succeeds at almost every level. It’s almost what the Knights of the Old Republic: The Lost Suns wanted to be but just sort of fell flat. In my opinion, as much as I love them, it’s a story that doesn’t have to rely on Jedi and Sith constantly being in the picture. There actually hasn’t been one in the first three issues and I doubt that there will be since it takes place after Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and at the height of Imperial power in the galaxy.

The story follows Jahan Cross, a no-nonsense undercover Imperial Agent who is busy at the beginning investigating a fellow Imperial who turns him onto a lead involving a project called Iron Eclipse. The project just so happens to be a project started by ex-pirate and veteran of the self titled Stark Hyperspace War, Iaco Stark. At this point in the Star Wars universe, Iaco is now dead and his business and fortune tended to by his son Iaclyn. Jahan falls into a web of treachery and deceit that with any luck will lead him to the Iron Eclipse, which we as a reader are still not close to figuring out by the end of issue three. However, by the end of the issue we are promised that it shall be revealed in the next issue. Jahan is in dangerous territory as his investigation takes him to Iaco Stark’s surviving family’s home in the Corporate Sector where they deal with their own problems without Imperial intervention.

Agent of the Empire is just an altogether fun ride for any Star Wars enthusiast and even for those only a little into Star Wars. It has some familiar faces in it, but none that you as a reader have to know much back story on to enjoy the series. Aside from Han and Chewie showing up, die-hard fans will notice Armand Isard is the head man in charge of Imperial Security at this point. And for those who remember Iaco Stark, I myself don’t believe that he is actually dead. His “widower” Dah’lis mentioned that he was decapitated working on his Eclipse project but the head was never found. Could it be that Iaco just lives on in a different way such as Darth Vader and General Grievous did? Or is his brain being used for some other reason? I may be wrong, but I don’t count anyone out in Star Wars unless there is a body present and accounted for. Or in Iaco’s case, a whole body.

I was surprised at one point where Jahan is trying to get in good with Iaco’s widower Dah’lis and obtain information about Eclipse, not because there is the mere mention of sex, but because it was one of the most revealing scenes in Star Wars that I’ve seen in all of the years. Not that I am complaining, more power to them just as long as they don’t go into full-blown porno-mode. This is Star Wars after all. But then again, maybe that is the next genre they’ll make the foray into…

I give Agent of the Empire a five out of five grizzlies, whether it’s single issues or the first three issues together.

The series has a great storyline going, multiple intriguing characters throughout it besides Han and Chewie, not to mention some great action scenes. I honestly can’t wait until issue four and the reveal of Iron Eclipse, whatever the hell it is.

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Jar Jar Binks and the Deleted Scene

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So, I cannot stand Jar Jar Binks. It’s honestly just something you really can’t even get used to by being exposed to it over and over again on the screen. It’s like someone forcing you to watch 2 Girls, 1 Cup repeatedly; you will never be able to watch it without feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed or just completely nauseated.

Continue reading Jar Jar Binks and the Deleted Scene →

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Dark Horse Review – Knights of the Old Republic: War #2

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Another issue, another planet! Zayne Carrick is reluctantly helping to fight a war on the planet Halthor, but this time it’s for the Mandalorians! After being captured last issue with Captain Morvis, Zayne and his not so close friend find themselves on the front line with the only other choice being imprisoned as a slave for the Mandalorians. I think Zayne said it best himself that it’s pretty unusual for someone to help invade two planets in one week for two different armies.

The issue was a little bit light on the action once the beginning battle was over. We are introduced to the Devaronian Mandalorian whose child Zayne saved in the last issue. This issue kind of shows you how the Mandalorians operate during the war if you’re not too familiar with them. First off, Mandalorians take prisoners either to make them work as slaves or to fight for them in battle. This leads to the fact that Mandalorians are not just humans, but a mixture of many species. Being Mandalorian is not only based on race but more on the culture itself. Not to mention that was is their way of life. You come to see that the Devaronian that Zayne helped last issue, Ko Sornell, has her entire family in the war zone with her including husband, son and infant. Crazy bunch of buggers.

Nothing was more interesting than the concept of Jedi Knights siding with the Mandalorians in the war. I thought Dorjander Kace was pretty cool in the last issue but he kind of lost some credibility at the end of the last issue when he revealed that he and his Jedi followers were “Mandalorian Knights”. They all wield the same yellow-orange bladed lightsaber which reminds me of the Imperial Knights from the Legacy Era comics where certain Jedi follow the will of the force as guided by the will of the Emperor. This is the same concept except I’m not sure exactly what kind of code these Mandalorian Knights follow. Dorjander Kace explains that he and his Jedi joined the Mandalorians to balance the fact that the Jedi were entering the war against the Mandalorians. This idea kind of gives me a newfound respect for Dorjander Kace, even though I can only see him falling to the Dark Side eventually while fighting for such a brutal army. He is simply arguing as the Jedi council did against the Jedi entering into the war against the Mandalorians and he believes that the Jedi shouldn’t be fighting a war for a “corrupt” Republic. And after Revan and his Jedi joined in the war, Dorjander is just trying to balance things out. He almost reminds me of Dooku during the Clone Wars and it almost seems like this war is something the Jedi did not learn from and is repeated during that war. Only time will tell if Dorjander’s intentions are pure.

I give the issue 4 out of 5 grizzlies. It just about followed the same pace as the first with a battle at the beginning, story in the middle and a cliffhanger at the end, but I’m completely fine with that. Zayne is going to have his hands full with Dorjander revealing that there is to be a mass invasion of Phaeda, his home planet and where his family and “girlfriend” live. Is his girlfriend Jarael and does that mean we may get to see her in the upcoming issue? I sure hope so.

And on an artistic note, I’m really starting to take a liking to Andrea Mutti’s pencils in the series thus far. Her art has the right tone for this storyline with her gritty feel and attention to detail. I hope she stays on board at least for this first story arc and I wouldn’t complain if she stayed on after either. Stayed tuned for issue 3!

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George Lucas Claims That Han Solo Never Shot First! COME ON!

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‘Whether or not Han Solo shot first’ is one of the biggest debates ever. It’s somewhere akin to the health care issue in the United States or whether global warming exists or not. You have Star Wars geeks of all creeds and color going at it back and forth about whether or not Han was a hero by not shooting first, or if he was a cold blooded killer for being shooter numero uno.

Personally, I always felt that Han definitely shot first when I was a youngling, and justifiably so. I think it qualifies as self defense when some scumbag Rodian has a gun pointed right at you and is gloating about taking away your starship and/or turning you over to a disgusting, oversized slug gangster. To tell you the truth I never actually thought twice about the whole situation.

Then came the special edition releases of the Star Wars trilogy and the modified scene where Han looks like he had a slight seizure to dodge a blaster bolt that harmlessly hits against the wall. I remember being in middle school and thinking not much of it, but after watching the movie about 80 more times it sort of started to bug me about why they did that, and why it looked so terrible. It was something that many fans including myself had hoped would disappear once all six Star Wars movies were released on Blu-Ray, but it was to no avail. George Lucas, creator of the Star Wars franchise claimed time and again that he added the scene because he didn’t want Han to look like some cold blooded killer. But if that was the case then why have the scene be so shoddy in the first place? Why not just fix this shit in the 70’s so we don’t have to waste our geek time debating it now?

Since then, there has been a recent development. This one is coming straight from the source. The Maker and flannel bearer himself George Lucas has recently had this say to the whole Han-Greedo debacle (IGN):

[quote]In a chat with The Hollywood Reporter (via /Film), Lucas said, “The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down.” [/quote]

Oh yes George. We, the violent masses want nothing more than for our beloved Han Solo to be a murdering psychopath who just guns down every Rodian he sees. Really? I don’t think that anyone was upset due to the fact that Lucas’ terrible wide shot proved that Greedo shot first, I think they’re mad because you did such a crap job about it in the special editions. Lucas should have either left the whole thing up to interpretation or done a better job way back when. And yeah, I guess Han should be looking at keeping his image clean without any bar room murder, despite the fact that he’s already a f–kin’ smuggler and self-proclaimed scoundrel. (He did like the sound of that.) Either way I guess it doesn’t matter because Lucas will leave things that way that he wants. So that means all of the Star Wars geeks will remain looking like idiots as they argue over which guy shot first. Seriously say those last four words again, it doesn’t sound good at all.