The Expendables 2 Is Going To Be PG-13…Because of Chuck Norris

The news that every action fan in the world did not want to hear has been officially announced. Chuck Norris is ruining yet another action movie. The much-anticipated action flick, The Expendables 2, which was announced sometime last year, is getting the kiss of death in the form of a PG-13 rating. The reason? The film’s addition of Chuck Norris, of course. He commented, saying, “In ‘Expendables 2,’ there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. For this reason, many young people wouldn’t be able to watch this. But I don’t play in movies like this,” Norris explained. “Due to that I said I won’t be a part of that if the hardcore language is not erased. Producers accepted my conditions and the movie will be classified in the category of PG-13.”

Excuse my harsh language, but this is just a steaming pile of bullshit. First off, The Expendables wasn’t rated R just for its language. It was rated R for the bloody violence that we’d come to expect with an action cast of that caliber, no pun intended. To prove my point, The Expendables‘ MPAA rating says: Rated R for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language. Please take note of the italicized words and what follows. Strong and bloody are both followed by action and violence, whereas language is preceded by some, a term used when said classification isn’t used excessively.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong here, but didn’t The Expendables make about $267 million dollars worldwide? Oh, that’s right, it did! And the comment about young people not being able to see it, erroneous! The small minority of young kids who are honest in their movie watching and want to see this movie without stealing it or sneaking into it can just continue being honest and rent it when it comes out on DVD, which they will. And I mean, if we’re being honest here, should young kids even be watching hardcore action fare like The Expendables?

Norris’ comments are bogus, as is his career. He’s famous for being the butt of a couple of good jokes, and even in the prime of his acting career, he was nothing special. He’s going to end up being the Billy Mays of action movies; we’ll remember him fondly, but in actuality he didn’t really do anything of significance. Stallone wrote a letter to Ain’t It Cool News’ founder, Harry Knowles, stating, “Harry, the film is fantastic with Van Damme turning in an inspired performance… Our final battle is one for the ages. The PG13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgement, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry…Sly” But with Stallone stepping down as director and instead taking on the screenplay alone, there’s a chance that The Expendables 2 may hold on to one shred of lonely, lonely dignity, but I doubt it. Of course, all of the original cast will be returning, with Simon West in the director’s chair. The Expendables 2 is set to release on August 17th of this year.

‘Star Wars Uncut’ Fan Film Is Now Online

In 2009, web developer Casey Pugh began a massive undertaking to remake Star Wars IV: A New Hope shot-for-shot. But instead of hiring a crew and casting actors, Pugh opened the project to hundreds of strangers; Star Wars Uncut is the result of close t0 500 15-second clips re-shot by fans and uploaded to a website, where Pugh and his team worked tirelessly to edit them all together into something amazing.

The process was simple – Anyone who wanted to participate simply went to Star Wars Uncut and reserved a 15-second segment of the movie, and were free to recreate it however they liked. There were no limitations on creativity, which meant submissions ran the gamut from live-action to animation, with actors and environments changing vastly second to second. It must have been a continuity nightmare for Pugh’s crew but somehow they managed to make 4 transitions-per-minute feel surprisingly fluid and still hold on to that amateur film charm. And you can see it for yourself because now the Star Wars Uncut Director’s Cut is finally available on the internet for everyone to see. The 2-hour long film is streaming on Vimeo and on Youtube:

And how do I know so much about the creation process? I was lucky enough to participate in the project, after it was brought to my attention by a friend of mine. We spent 2 hours shooting in the halls of our university’s science building for a 15-second payoff. And being a part of it all is totally worth it (You can see the four of us from the 2:55 mark until 3:10. I am the rebel in the white shirt).

 At the beginning of Star Wars Uncut‘s production, Pugh stated he would consider continuing with the other Star Wars films if A New Hope‘s was successful. I can’t imagine a bigger success than this: Star Wars Uncut won the Creative Arts Emmy Award for Outstanding Achievement in Interactive Media, in 2010. I don’t know if there’s been any official word on an Uncut sequel, but I’d love to see a sweded version of Empire Strikes Back.