All posts by Stephen Sanchez

Spartacus: Vengeance – Episode 1 “Fugitivus”

Two years have passed and the Starz original series Spartacus has not missed a beat. (Good thing they stayed ready with Gods of the Arena) The story picks up not too far from where Blood and Sand left off; Spartacus, Crixus and the other freed slaves are on the run and committing attacks against Romans throughout Capua. Expect to see the same gratuitous amounts of blood and slow motion as we’ve seen in the other two seasons of Spartacus. The same goes for the naked debauchery found in previous seasons. Just picture sword fighting in the middle of a Roman whorehouse! It was like vinegar strokes v.s. sword strokes for heaven’s sake!

Of course let’s get the biggest concern out-of-the-way in the form of Liam McIntyre. In case you’re a Spartacus fan who’s been living under a rock, then you’ll need to know that Mr. McIntyre has replaced the dearly departed Andy Whitfield as ‘Spartacus’ this season. I had a tough time at first watching McIntyre as our favorite gladiator, but as the episode went on he definitely looked comfortable enough in the role. If Spartacus wasn’t just focused on killing Romans and that stupid asshole Claudius Glaber, I think it may have been a tougher job for McIntyre. Seriously though, how hard is it to play a vengeful slave hell-bent on murder? I feel confident that McIntyre will definitely look more and more comfortable in the role as the episodes go on.

 I kind of thought that Spartacus and the slaves would be a roaring force to be dealt with at this point, but truth be told they are simply renegades living in the sewers of Capua, killing and stealing for food and weapons. Spartacus, though still a great leader, does not have the undying loyalty of all. The Gauls of the group still only answer to Crixus, and the relationship between him and Spartacus is a bit strained as their goals remain totally different. By the end of the episode, their motives become a little more concerted and I think the season will really be roaring along.

It was very interesting to see Lucretia back, especially considering everything she knows. Of course most of the things that are implied by her return are very predictable. Her memory will clearly come back about Ilithyia at some point during the season, and I assume she will play dumb until she can exact revenge upon her. Not before humiliating her and her husband with the knowledge of Licinia’s murder. Hopefully before all of that she let’s good ole’ Claudius know about Ilithyia banging Spartacus back in Season One.

The high point for me in this episode was by far the scene where Claudius Glaber gave his speech and presented the surviving Lucretia to the people of Capua. The whole time Spartacus was looking on from the crowd and moving closer and closer, I was on the edge of my seat hoping he would take that scumbag out. Of course he didn’t, but that was to be expected.

Now to my low point. And I don’t mean quality wise because there was not much I didn’t like about this episode. The capture and death of Aurelia was definitely a downer. After all she had been through with losing Varo in season one I had hoped that she would be reunited with her son.

But alas, this is Spartacus and not a very good place for happy endings as was evidenced in the last two seasons. I almost expected something to go wrong when Spartacus sent her along her way but I was still shocked when Claudius Glaber brought her out before the crowd. Total bummer.

Overall, I give the episode a 4 out of 5 grizzlies.

The series is back and is as good as it previously was and hopefully the premature critics of Liam McIntyre can stopping their inane babble for awhile. At least until the season gets into full swing, which it certainly has a good start on. Tune in for the next episode and definitely check this one out online from Starz before it’s Friday premiere date!

“I believe I can fly!”

Grizzly Book Review: Star Wars – Darth Plagueis

The Darth Plagueis novel was very unlike many other Star Wars literature I’ve read. It was light on action and heavy on political machinations by the Sith as they tipped the force inexorably in their favor. I was under the impression that Plagueis died well before Palpatine started his foray into politics but alas I was very wrong. I also assumed that the book would start with Plagueis training Palpatine from the start and again I was proven wrong. The book not only chronicles the apprenticeship of Sidious to Plagueis but also touches on the relationship between Plagueis and his own master Darth Tenebrous. There are a few other Darths mentioned throughout, but learning further about the Sith succession line is only a small portion of what makes up a fantastic book by Star Wars veteran James Luceno.

Continue reading Grizzly Book Review: Star Wars – Darth Plagueis

#18 – Countdown to Christmas: THE REF

If there is a favorite Christmas movie for me I have to go with Christmas Vacation, but right behind it (We’re talking milimeters here) is my second favorite holiday flick starring Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey: The Ref.

The story revolves around the Chasseur family. Let me get this out-of-the-way right now. It’s pronounced ‘Shass-Oor’ and as you must know, it’s an 18th century French Huguenot name. But I digress, the Chasseur family is a pretty well off family with a lovely home… from the outside. Look in and there’s quite a bit more going on. Spouses Lloyd and Caroline are in the middle of some terrible marital strife and their son Jesse is a delinquent who enjoys black mailing his commander at military school for money in his off time. So what do they need to bring their family closer during the holidays on Christmas Eve? Gus, the cat burglar played by none other than Denis Leary. Leary essentially makes the movie with his fast talking, foul-mouthed way with people. This guy is a comedic genius but it doesn’t even sound like he’s trying half the time. He’s just pissed and complains and that’s that.

So where does Gus come into play? Well, he and his part Murray are in the process of thieving from one of the richest guys in town when something goes wrong… the guy has an almost road runner like trap set up for thieves which includes spraying cat piss in their face and dropping them down a chute to the basement where waits a very hungry Doberman. With the little community essentially closed off by police in an effort to capture Gus, he does the only thing he can do and that is take Lloyd and Caroline hostage.

This may have been the biggest mistake of his life given the fact that the couple cannot agree on anything and argue constantly. Not to mention they are having relatives over for Christmas Eve dinner, including the bitchiest bitch of mothers, a simpleton brother in-law and nearly as bitchy sister in-law. So the hostage party continues with Gus in the guise of their doctor… Dr. Wong. (Played by Law and Order/Oz alum B.D. Wong at the movie’s start.)

The movie is funny as hell, but actually reflects some real life drama that people have with their in-laws in the real world we live in. I’ve seen some bitchy mother in-laws who should immediately go to hell, let me tell ya. It also makes one wonder if it would work to force people to sit down and talk things out. Just don’t get any thoughts this Christmas season of sitting your family down at gunpoint to discuss their issues. I give the movie 5 out of 5 Christmas Trees.

Perfect movie with all of the right actors, comedy and drama added in. Plus Denis Leary lays out a Santa in one punch worthy of Ryu from Street Fighter. Check it out below:

For more COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS – Click it Here! 

Also Check out our COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN… 

#20 – Countdown to Christmas: JINGLE ALL THE WAY

We’ve all seen action stars muck it up by playing the tough guy in a kids movie and to be honest I haven’t seen many of them. Vin Diesel did The Pacifier; Jackie Chan did The Spy Next Door. Hell, The Rock has probably done the most with the worst of them being The Tooth Fairy. Honestly, don’t rip me for not having seen that one and still judging it. You know it sucks. The Great Arnold Schwarzenegger has even done it and there is no doubt that it worked, because I and countless others love Kindergarten Cop. Who wouldn’t to see Arnold yelling at kids and telling them there is no bathroom? However, Arnold did make a misstep and it was a giant one at that. There is also a name for it: Jingle All the Way.

Where to begin with this one…. Maybe with the premise: The movie involves the real reason for the holidays of course, which is parents attempting to murder one another for some idiotic piece of shit toy made in a sweat shop overseas. Now, this toy can range from something like ‘Tickle Me Elmo’ to…. Some other type of Elmo. The toy in this case though would be the very homoerotic Turbo Man toy.

Honestly the thing looks like Buzz Lightyear if he wore a suit that was bright red and gold that accentuated his man features to the max. Of course the black hole of acting named Jake Lloyd wants one of these Turbo Man action figures, so he has the highest hopes of his father Howard Langston to get him one. In fact, little orphan Ani-Vader Jamie pretty much has the assumption that his well off dad was smart enough and gave a big enough shit about him to get one before they sold out. Unfortunately little Vader, Howard doesn’t give a shit about you at all. His work has consumed him and he forgot all about the Turbo Man toy. (And I’m pretty sure he forgot about having a son too.)

So the main plot point of the movie is that ‘Howard Arnold Langston’ needs to brave the Christmas shopping season amidst a plethora of other rabid shopping parents scum. And by this time a Turbo Man action figure is harder to get than a McRib in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany during a solar eclipse. The rest of the movie follows Howard’s hijinx as he attempts to get his hands on a Turbo Man.

 Arnie’s co-star in this is the comedic talent has-been Sinbad, who plays ‘Myron the Mailman’ who reinforces stereotypes of Postal Workers who are mentally unstable amongst other things. Sinbad is just as terrible as everything else in this movie and his brand of comedy where he simply yells his lines loudly in Ebonics just does not do himself or the film any justice. Myron the sleaze bag is not Howard’s only obstacle through all of this. We’ve got pissed off Moms, criminal minded Santas (of all shapes and sizes.), the horny neighbor that is all over his wife and even a reindeer…. Yeah you heard me. A frickin’ reindeer.

There’s no two ways about it people. This movie is terrible, as I’ve come to realize most Christmas movies are. The cast had it’s ups and downs to be sure, but not even Phil Hartman and The Terminator could pick up the slack left by Sinbad and Kid Vader. If you want to keep your holiday cheer intact please avoid this movie and spend your time volunteering in your local soup kitchen or ringing a bell for the Salvation Army. Then again if you must insist on watching it, just check out the 16 second version below.

After all is said an done I give the movie 0 out of 5 Christmas Trees. How dare you sully the name of Christmas… you bastards. Feliz Navidad!

For more COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS – Click it Here! 

Also Check out our COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN… 

Batman: Arkham Asylum, Arkham City and Beyond… What We Want Next

I didn’t think a sequel to Arkham Asylum would ever be able to outdo its predecessor. But in an age where video games are all about topping the previous installment in terms of scope and depth, Arkham City did just that. Arkham City was huge compared to Arkham Asylum with familiar locales such as Crime Alley and the Ice Berg Lounge to geek out the countless Batman faithful out there. And if you thought that Asylum sported a good amount of the Batman Rogues Gallery, it was nothing compared to Arkham City. From Two Face to Mad Hatter, Arkham city showcased over a dozen of Batman’s greatest villains in roles small and large. So the next question is; where does the story go from here given what happened at the end of Arkham City? As those of you who have beaten the game know, there was a death at the end which is a pretty large void to fill. What villains should be featured in the next installment? I can think of a few that didn’t show up and a couple from Arkham Asylum that were noticeably absent from Arkham City.

Below we will discuss which villains need to make the cut next and what the possible story could be for the next Arkham sequel. So please don’t read any further if you haven’t beaten Arkham City because I’ll dropping spoiler almost immediately.

So we all know that the Joker is dead. D-E-A-D. And I doubt he’ll be coming back since Mark Hamil has stated that he won’t be back to voice the Clown Prince of Crime in any future Batman material. I’m fine with Joker being dead by the way, and it’s for the best because I wouldn’t want to see anyone voicing the Joker again. Hamil owned that role and for as big of a Star Wars fan that I am, I think that Hamil’s career is defined by the excellent work he has done voicing the Joker these past twenty years. Luke Skywalker comes in a close second. I can’t see anyone else voicing the Joker as well as Mark Hamil and would like to tip my hat to him.

Now, if you did some exploring to past locales after beating the game and you happened to go back to the Joker’s hideout at Sionis Industries you’ll find an interesting tid-bit on the floor next to Harley’s Arkham Asylum outfit. Yes, it’s a pregnancy test that is POSITIVE!

Also at the end of the credits you’ll hear Harley singing Hush little baby to someone in her own twisted way. That means we may have a baby Joker on the way? Oh, boy…. If done right this could be very interesting indeed. This would also mean that the next game would have to take place years down the road. And if we’re introducing the son of the Joker as Batman’s next big nemesis then I’d be all for them bringing Damien Wayne into play as well. Son of Batman v.s. Son of Joker? Sounds like a dream come true if you ask me! Talia did die after all, before Bruce could have any knowledge of little Damien if they decided to have him be a part of this Bat-continuity.

Also, if the games just want to continue going bigger and bigger in terms of environment then I suggest Rocksteady break free of the Arkham aspect and simply call the game Gotham City or Gotham Knights. This way the entire city can be opened up to play in and we can see plenty of other Gotham locations such as Wayne Tower. Actually, Wayne Tower would be the perfect place for the game’s climax if there is a final fight between Bruce and Joker Jr. or Damien and Joker Jr. I’d like to see Wayne Manor (Bat Cave included), Blackgate Prison, the Wayne Botanical Garden and even a revisiting of good old Arkham Asylum.

Now to the villains and my favorite part. There were not a whole lot left out of Arkham City that’s for sure, but there are a couple that I think would make good additions to the third installment. One of the most deranged villains and a personal favorite of mine is Professor Pyg. Pyg has his own strange meaning to the word “perfection” which he forces upon his victims by bonding doll faces onto their own face in gruesome fashion. Then by some form of surgery or simple lobotomizing, Pyg turns his victims into his own personal soldier, known as a Dollotron. I think it would be far the creepiest aspect of the games yet when Batman is being swarmed by groups of hideously transformed Dollotrons who want nothing more than to present the Dark Knight to their master for “surgery”.

Garfield Lynns would also be a welcome addition to the game and provide Batman with an interesting boss fight. It’s one thing fighting Mr. Freeze on the ground with his freeze ray assailing you at every turn, but imagine a foe flying above and trying to incinerate you! Lynns would of course not have much story depth to him, but after being featured on the front page of a Gotham newspaper in Arkham Aslyum I think it’s time for the resident pyromaniac to be set loose upon our gaming systems.

In terms of crime boss villains such as Two Face and Penguin, I think that the Great White Shark Warren White would be a great addition. The once meek Warren White underwent a terrible transformation during his time in Arkham Asylum that turned him into the hideous, hardened crime boss that he is in the comics. White was once on top in the Gotham underworld in the comic book continuity and he would work great in the next game.

I envision all of the established crime syndicates to show up in the next game actually including the Maroni and Falcone crime families and the return of Two Face, Penguin and Black Mask. Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, in particular had a very brief role in Arkham City which disappointed me greatly. If you’ll remember he was at the very beginning getting the living shit beat out of him by TYGER guards. Unacceptable! Black Mask is one of the most ruthless crime bosses in Gotham and he needs a little more to do than get beat down in the next installment!

Aside from Black Mask, Penguin and Two Face being brought back I have a few other choices of villains that need to make a repeat, two of which were noticeably absent from Arkham City; The first being that of Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow. After being taken down by Killer Croc in the first game, Crane was not heard from in Arkham City except in a couple of instances. First, there is his mask and some hay laying atop a bridge just outside of Sionis industries.

Then close by on the little barge/boat in the water there is a secret door you can use your cryptographic sequencer to open which reveals a little laboratory of sorts. There’s even a tortured “patient”, containers of cockroaches and a shipping manifest made out to Dr. Crane from Falcone Shipping. The place is just straight up creepy. I suppose this means that our friend the Scarecrow is alive and well and Batman will have to stop him again sooner or later. I say later in the next video game.

Killer Croc was another who was missing from the game. You can have a little confrontation with him in the sewer after facing off with Ra’s Al’ Ghul but nothing beyond that. In the third game I want to see Killer Croc as a boss or someone’s enforcer. I enjoyed running from him in the sewers of Arkham Asylum but a head on fight would be most excellent.

Bane would be another foe worth running into again, this time as a head on enemy again and not a pseudo ally. This will more than likely happen depending mostly on the success of his character in the Dark Knight Rises which is already bound to be a box office smash hit. It would be nice if they use him a little better than just the Solomon Grundy type brute in the next game, maybe as a more calculating foe as he was in the Knightfall arc of the Batman comics.

It wouldn’t hurt to see Ivy return either, just because I’ve always had a thing for women with green skin who dress in skimpy prison clothes. I liked her small role in Arkham City but I think they could use her a little more somehow in the third game. Another huge favortite of mine would also be Clayface, who was my favorite rogue to show up in Arkham City. You know they’ll be doing something with him after he fell into the Lazarus Pit; perhaps he’ll return with some new mutation that will make him more dangerous than before.

On the bat family side of things I wouldn’t mind seeing more of Batman’s allies as playable characters in the third game. It was excellent being able to switch between Batman and Catwoman in Arkham City, and it was awesome to kick ass in the challenge modes with Robin and Nightwing. Hopefully in the third game it will allow you to switch between all of the characters to perform different missions throughout Gotham City. And I may go completely ballistic if the map is bigger than ever before and you are not allowed to use the batmobile. Vehicles seems like the next logical step in the franchise. It would be like Grand Theft Auto: Gotham City.

Well, that’s about all I have for now. Have I forgotten anything that needs to be in the next Arkham game? Locations, characters or otherwise? It’s probably a long way off from now but who knows, Rocksteady might be moving their asses off on this red hot franchise to follow up the release of the Dark Knight Rises.

Holy Jon Snow! Kit Harrington Soon to be King Arthur

If any of you Game of Thrones fans had a dream grudge match envisioned of who would win in a fight between Jon Snow and Robb Stark (Not that it would have happened in the books) then I hate to tell you that Jon Snow would win. Well, if it were between the actors who play those characters on the show… and they were dueling over movie roles…. With only their acting skills…. Ah forget it. Either way, Kit Harrington who plays Jon Snow on the Game of Thrones has beat out Robb Stark actor Richard Madden (amongst others) for the role of King Arthur in an upcoming movie about said King and Sir Lancelot. Thanks to IGN for the info.

Robb Stark and Jon Snow

I say good for Kit Harrington, but is anyone out there really psyched for another re-imagining of the Arthur story? We’ve had the abysmal Clive Owen-Arthur movie, and the so-so Camelot show that was recently and shockingly canceled by Starz. Now this version of the Arthur tale is said to be a contemporary, modern day retelling of the Arthur story….. That sounds very unappealing to me. Will it be some sort of chick flick? If so why do you need someone like Harrington? Why not Matthew McConaughey or Josh Duhamel for a lame duty such as that? Personally I hope it’s a modern day retelling where there is a love triangle between Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere that ends in a thrilling 30 minute sword fight through the streets of London. Part of which occurs on the roof of a moving double decker bus.

Either way, good for Kit Harrington and if it is destined to suck we won’t have to worry about it until March of 2013.