This season of True Blood is definitely proving to be more and more entertaining. I didn’t have high expectations, previously with the show having had those expectations hit me with disappointment like being run over by bulldozer. But with the current plot lines, and especially this new uninhibited Eric, it’s becoming funnier than it ever has been. Which I appreciate, because vampires have a tendency to be major downers.
This episode, ironically, starts out with Mr. and Mrs. Boring and their son Weirdo. However, it’s nice to see Tommy actually fight back for once and he ends up killing Joe Lee and his mother in a vicious rage. Then he brings them to Sam’s house for show and tell; so they do the only logical thing – wrap the bodies in tarp and throw them in the swamp. The Dateline special is pending.
Terry and Arlene meanwhile try to figure out the best way to make their baby stop being the creepiest child in the universe. Terry suggests finding a reverend to cleanse the home of evil. They end up calling Tara’s mom and her minister lover-turned-husband who come over for a sing along with a tambourine and light giant joints to stink up their house.
Eric has a dream about a sleeping Sookie when who shows up – Godric, his maker who ended up killing himself last season. Dream Godric tries to convince Eric that he needs to stop fighting his nature and drink Sookie’s blood so he can day-walk. He goes in her room for real and when she wakes up, he says he had a bad dream. After he cries for a while, Sookie agrees to let him stay in her room to sleep.
Oh and P.S., why hasn’t anyone besides Andy not noticed that Jason has been missing for days on end? Hoyt thanks Jessica for saving his “best friend” but he didn’t even know his “best friend” has been MIA for, what, a week? Predictably, as soon as Jason drank Jessica’s blood, we knew the sex dreams were only moments away. These dreams, however, include Hoyt.
Bill has his hands full with his great great great great great great granddaughter, Portia; who still wants to get in his pants even though she admits that it’s incest. Sick. I’m glad he glamored her into being afraid of him, she’s full on psycho.
Jesus and Lafayette are going to Mexico to visit Jesus’ grandfather, who he hates because he made him kill a goat when he was 9. Jesus hopes that his grandfather will help them un-piss off the vamps and reverse Eric’s memory curse and Pam’s rotten face.
Sookie goes to see Marnie under the ruse of wanting a psychic reading. Marnie is able to channel Gran; and when Sookie reads Marnie’s thoughts, her Gran’s voice tells her to run away from Marnie because she’s bad news. Marnie gets captured later by Bill’s goons and has another vision of the Spanish witch, Antonia, who was apparently murdered by vampires. That still doesn’t explain why she hates vampires, though, hmm….
Eric discovered everything he did before he lost his memory and feels so remorseful that he plans to leave Sookie’s house, until she calls him back to make out with him. He should have left, though, because Pam let it slip that Eric was staying there and Bill has his angry pants on. Look out, Northman, you’re about to get a vampire-king bitch slap.
Oh, and Alcide is being visited by his local pack master about not registering with the pack. Blah, blah. Alcide was wearing a wife beater, so I was distracted.
So this Antonia person that is possessing Marnie, we have found out, is responsible for a multitude of vampire deaths. Apparently she used Necromancy (control of the dead) to cause a bunch of vamps to wake up and walk through the daylight, causing them to be burned up. Has she not found a suitable conduit before now? No one willing to let her possess them? It doesn’t make sense for her to make herself known after hundreds of years.
While I’m quite sick of half of Bon Temps (Sam, Tommy, Jason, Hoyt, Jessica, Tara, etc.), I will say that most of the story arcs are intriguing. And call me a silly girl, but it’s about time we got back to some development with Sookie’s love life. First it was Bill, then Alcide, then Eric, and lately it’s been no one. It’s about time they explored the Sookie/Eric combination. Next week we should see quite the blow out between Eric and Bill.
You heard it right, kids – your favorite tree-hugging superhero is being made into a live-action film, announces Cartoon Network. Stuart Snyder, president and COO of Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., has agreed to create the film with the help of Angry Filmworks (best known for the Transformers franchise) and producers Don Murphy and Susan Montford.
Now, those of us who grew up in the ’90s remember a cartoon about an environmental superhero who battled the villains that threatened our planet’s health and well-being, and his troop of Planeteers. There were five Planeteers in all, each hailing from a different part of the globe, and each able to use a powerful ring to control an element of the Earth. Kwame, from Africa, had the power to control earth itself. Linka, from Russia, was able to control the wind. Wheeler, from Brooklyn, could conjure fire. Gi, the Asian, had power over water. And then there was Ma-Ti, a sad little monkey-owning Brazilian who was raised by a shaman. He had the power to control hearts. In other words, everyone had really cool powers and the South American kid got the shaft, because all he could do is make you feel all warm and fuzzy about recycling and adopting a puppy. When the powers of the five Planeteers combined, it summoned Captain Planet, who would basically just sucker punch that week’s eco-villain. Then he would go comb his green flat-top and adjust his diaper until he had to fight again.
So, yes. This is trying to be made into a feature film.
Snyder, Murphy, and Montford are super excited about Captain Planet’s feature-length debut. Snyder had this to say:
“The messages of Captain Planet are even more relevant today. We feel this team can bring the world’s first eco-hero to life in a powerful motion picture that is not only pertinent but entertaining.”
Murphy, riding that wave of eco-friendly excitement, had this to say:
“We are extremely excited about bringing the good Captain back to life. His adventures are known worldwide and he is recognized across generations. We expect to make a spectacular series of films with the amazing team at Cartoon Network.”
Not just one film, SERIES of films. They love their franchises! Not to be outdone, Montford said:
“With the earthquakes, tornadoes, melting icebergs and all the other problems threatening the world right now, Earth really needs her greatest defender.”
(Quotes taken from official press release. Read more: ComingSoon)
Captain Planet, single-handedly saving the world from devastation, one boring movie at a time! I like that the new Captain Planet has the power not only to destroy pollution, but natural disasters as well. Because the humans really messed up the eco-system, we’ve made Mother Nature so angry that she punishes us with earthquakes and tornadoes in her reign of terror. Only the Captain can save us from her bitchy ways, and villains who would spray aerosol cans into the atmosphere willy-nilly. Al Gore, the obvious choice to play Captain Planet, would finally repair our diminishing ozone layer and put a stop to global warming for good! That sounds like one hell of a movie!
I will admit that I found this show entertaining. I was also eight. Either they’re going to market this film to children, which only works if the characters are animated, or it will never get greenlighted. There are PSA’s much shorter than two hours; and I don’t need a blue-skinned flying man to tell me what biodegradable means. At least not in the movie theater where I throw my empty popcorn tub under the seat instead of in a designated trash receptacle.
Further proof that not everything should be made into a movie.
In the lull of summer comedy series, I think I have stumbled upon a very promising series known as Misfits, which has already received the BAFTA Television Award.
This story revolves around a young set of delinquents serving community service, who find themselves in the midst of a freak lightning/Hail storm. Once struck by lightning the group’s probation officer goes insane with rage and attempts to kill them all. But in the midst of all this chaos they discover that they have developed superhuman abilities and kill their probation officer. Drama quickly ensues as each learns to cope with their abilities.
As cliché as the story arc is, the delectable palette of characters are what makes the series phenomenal. More notable characters such as Nathan Young (Robert Sheehan), an outspoken prick that puts Corey Feldman’s character ‘Mouth’ to shame, and Simon Bellamy (Iwan Rheon) who plays a socially crippled loner, make this dark comedy exactly what it is, genius.
And when it comes to Dark Comedy, Misfits delivers! Creator/Writer Howard Overman leaves nothing sacred, as the cast engages in everything from drug use to granny sex in a South Park style of comedy.
There are currently 2 seasons of Misfits, the first of which is on available on Hulu, whilst the ‘Second Season/Christmas Special’ are currently streaming on various websites. There has been confirmed filming of the third season, consisting of the original cast minus Robert Sheehan, who is pursuing other career opportunities, and looks very promising.
Summer is still in full swing, but one thing is captivating the minds of TV execs – Fall TV programming! With so many shows crashing and burning in the last year (The Event, Camelot, Detroit 1-8-7) and so many veteran programs having seen their last (Friday Night Lights, Smallville, Rescue Me), there are some large spots to fill. Showtime promises to provide some interesting heavy hitters under the regime of new president, David Nevins; including an order for 12 episodes of House of Lies, written and executive-produced by Matthew Carnahan (Dirt).
House of Lies is loosely based on the novel House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Then Tell You the Time by Martin Kihn, a satirical commentary that attempts to break down the fluffy misconceptions of the consulting business. His stance is that consulting is mostly a joke that became profitable; and that anyone will listen to an Ivy Leaguer with an MBA who wears a nice suit and uses fancy-pants words like “paradigm” and “granular.” Even if this finely pressed suit is spooning you information that you already know and taking credit for a success that isn’t theirs.
House of Lies (the TV show) will be a dark comedy that follows the career of consultant, Marty (Don Cheadle), who is described as “cutthroat,” without a moral compass to guide him as he does anything and everything necessary to succeed. The show will also star Kristen Bell (that native Detroiter that we love!) as Jeannie, a razor-sharp Ivy League grad, who is alleged to act as a voice of reason.
The show will also star Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Recreation) who is about twelve shades of hilarious, and Josh Lawson, who has been in only B-movies and crappy TV shows.
I think this show has the power to premiere to strong numbers. Not only does it have an all-star cast lineup, but it sounds pretty darn interesting and hilarious. Having worked for a consultancy firm, I’m curious to see how much steam they take from Martin Kihn’s book. I’ve heard he really tears the whole institution apart in it. Which is funny in my book, because consultants are all self-righteous stuffed peacocks who think that the ground they walk on turns to gold and that they shit sunshine and rainbows. If the show makes fun of consulting as much as I hope they do, I will be a fan for life.
[Editor’s Note: I’ve included an interview with Bell that has almost nothing to do with the show. How can you not like her?!?!]
House of Lies has started production and will begin filming soon. Look for it to hit Showtime in the Fall 2011 or Spring 2012 lineups!
The series that sucked in the lives of millions of people worldwide has finally reached its conclusion. It’s not even the weekend yet, and the franchise has already pulled in a cool $126 million. Millions of fans dressed as wizards have crowded the midnight halls of local movie theaters for the last time. Some have been die-hard fans of the books (as I am), and some just wanted to see Voldemort bitch-slapped in his creepy snake face. Whichever the case, Warner Brothers turned out a final film that young and old, casual or die-hard fan, could sit back and enjoy.
SPOILERS AHEAD..
The film opened exactly where the last one left off. Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) had just buried Dobby at Shell Cottage and is preparing his strategy against Voldemort (who is off rifling through Dumbledore’s grave for the Elder Wand). Harry’s mission, left to him by the late Albus Dumbledore, was to hunt down Voldemort’s horcruxes (pieces of his soul left in inanimate objects to anchor him to immortal life) and destroy them. Up until this point, three of the horcruxes have been destroyed – Tom Riddle’s Diary in the Chamber of Secrets, Slytherin’s locket in Deathly Hallows Part One, and Marvolo Gaunt’s ring by Dumbledore. It has been assumed that Voldemort split his soul into seven pieces including himself, which would leave three left to be destroyed – Hufflepuff’s Cup, Nagini the snake, and an unknown object. Harry believes that one of the objects is hidden in the Lestrange family vault in Gringotts, the wizarding bank run by goblins.
Griphook – The most awesome banker you’ll ever meet.
We have also learned in the previous film the importance and identity of the Deathly Hallows. The Deathly Hallows were unspeakable gifts given by Death himself to the three Peverell brothers. The first brother was given the Elder Wand, which made whoever owned it unbeatable. The second brother was given the Resurrection Stone, which could temporarily bring back loved ones from the dead. The youngest brother was given a Cloak of Invisibility. Whoever owns all three becomes the Master of Death.
“So you’re saying no more Harry Potter movies? Ever?”
Here at Shell Cottage, Harry is given a choice. In one room is Griphook (Warwick Davis), a goblin who holds the key to breaking into the Gringotts vault to keep destroying Horcruxes. In another room is Ollivander (John Hurt), a wand maker, who holds all the knowledge he needs to retrieve the Elder Wand, the only Deathly Hallow not in his possession. In the end, Harry chooses his selfless mission over power, and gains the necessary knowledge from Griphook to break into the vault of Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter).
After breaking in and destroying the horcrux (Hufflepuff’s cup), Griphook betrays Harry, Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) in order to steal the goblin-made sword of Gryffindor. They escape on the back of a dragon and end up in Hogsmeade. With the help of Dumbledore’s brother, Aberforth (Ciaran Hinds), they make their way into Hogwarts to find the unknown Horcrux, which they believe is an object belonging to Ravenclaw. Luna Lovegood (Evanna Lynch) suggests that the object is Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem, a type of crown. Harry goes to the Grey Lady, the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw (Kelly Macdonald), and she tells him where the diadem is hidden.
Harry retrieves the diadem but is met by Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton) and his goonies, one of which starts a raging fire. Harry saves Draco from the fire (why anyone would save that ferret-faced bastard is beyond me) and manages to destroy the diadem in the process. Ron and Hermione find their way down to the Chamber of Secrets to find Basilisk fangs (because, conveniently, basilisk venom destroys Horcruxes) and destroy Hufflepuff’s cup. And then, to celebrate, they start making out.
“I’m a terrible Death Eater guys… will you hold my hands?”
Meanwhile, Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) and his Death Eaters have breached the defenses of the castle and are reigning their terror over the students and teachers. Voldemort, who is now in possession of the Elder Wand, realizes that the wand has not given allegiance to him. Believing that Snape had become owner of the wand during his murder of Dumbledore, Voldemort uses his snake to attack Snape. While Snape is dying, he places his tears in a vial and tells Harry to take them to the Penseive.
Harry does, and much is made clear to him through Snape’s memories. He discovers that Dumbledore was right to trust Snape, that all these years there was one very real reason Snape could not swear allegiance to Voldemort ever again – Snape was passionately in love with Lily, Harry’s mother, who was killed by Voldemort himself. Makes sense why he hated Harry so much, then, since Harry was supposed to have been the spitting image of his father (who looks like a math teacher apparently). He also discovered something much more heartbreaking – that he, Harry, was also a Horcrux, and he must also be destroyed in order for Voldemort to be defeated.
Harry then meets Voldemort in the forest, where Voldemort uses the killing curse on him. Harry is transported to a train station, an interim location between life and death, where he speaks with Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) about all that has happened. Harry is given the choice to move on to death, or to remain in life and finish the job he started, without the piece of Voldemort’s soul within him. So he returns; and with the help of new Hogwarts resident badass, Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis), and his snake slicing skills, Voldemort is defeated! Hooray!
I try to have an open mind going into these films. If anyone out there is as into reading as I am, you know how disappointed you can be if the film deviates from the story you love. It’s natural. However, this film was as close as you can get to the line between following the story and making a good film in itself. I was pleasantly surprised that much of the script was lifted from the book itself, including most of Snape’s memories and the scene with Dumbledore at King’s Cross.
“Not my daughter, you BITCH!” (Actual quote)
The pacing, the music, and acting were all perhaps the best I’ve seen in the franchise. There was so much that could have gone wrong in this, the culmination of this long beloved story, that it was refreshing to see the filmmakers do it right for a change. My one complaint is that this still felt like half of a movie, and there was little to tie in the story from Deathly Hallows Part One. I imagine the two will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray as one big film (taking a page from the consecutive style of Lord of the Rings).
There were several things I was worried wouldn’t translate to film, or wouldn’t be handled properly or glossed over. The first and most important being the heartbreaking story of one Severus Snape. Alan Rickman stole the show on this one. He owned that character. He had known before anyone, before the final few books were even released, what his character’s inner torment was and where his motivations lie. He brilliantly has managed to keep that knowledge a secret in his performance while still making it believable, so the film audience would be just as invested and just as surprised as those who had read the books.
My second worry was that the ending, the imminent downfall of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, would be glossed over and cheesy. However that, too, was given sufficient story-telling time and consideration. Although I didn’t really understand why Harry and Voldemort were flying through the air hugging each other, their duel was action-packed and interesting. There was enough time spent on the Elder Wand for the casual film-watcher to understand why Voldemort’s wand had failed him, although I missed Harry’s “Expelliarmus!”
“Booyah! I mean, Expelliarmus!”
The third and final worry of mine was their treatment of the epilogue at King’s Cross station, and how they were going to make a group of kids in their late teens and early twenties look like real live grownups. With a little CGI and a little makeup (though none for Emma Watson, apparently), they managed to look….ALMOST right. I thought Draco Malfoy was the worst; he looked like the star of the school play. But it was cutesy, it provided closure, and it was just as weird and awkward as it was in the book.
Bwahahaha! Fail!
All in all, I really enjoyed the film. It has that little something for everyone – intrigue, action, drama, and romance. The story is much darker than the others, even in the books, and provides for less comedy which is unfortunate. And with all the important people who died (albeit, without death scenes), it makes for a huge downer at times. But that’s war, and that’s life sometimes.
I give the film 4 bears (it was 4.5, but I deducted the .5 for the lack of Jim Broadbent)!
The other day, Paramount released new footage from the film Super 8. This scene found its way into the final cut of the film, but was pared down on the cutting room floor. In this extended clip, we see the main cast in their local 7-11 talking about the zombie film Charles (Riley Griffiths) is attempting to make. The clip really shows, at length, the stalker-type obsession Joe (Joel Courtney) has for Alice (Elle Fanning). He even wants to know what book she was reading in the silent reading section of the library; no doubt so he could read it feverishly before they set out to film at the train station and just happen to strike up a conversation with her about it. Ah, kids. Anyway, you can see the clip here.
Cool. My first and only thought about this clip: who the hell cares, really? I was hoping, when I heard of the unseen footage, that I would get something redeemable about this movie. Something that would make me feel better about shelling out ten bucks to see it. Something that would make me say, “Well, it was a good movie, they just cut out the wrong bits.” Sorry, folks, that is not the case.
Here’s the thing with Super 8 – it had such good intentions. Mystery. Intrigue. Steven Spielberg’s stamp of approval. Even halfway into the movie, I liked it. It had a cinematic feel reminiscent of old school Spielberg; kind of like a cross between Close Encounters of the Third Kind and The Goonies. And then the pilot took a hard nose dive which never corrected itself, and the story careened out of control until it finally burst into flames right before the end credits. It was so bad, I wanted to go back in time after the movie to an hour prior, to tell the me that hadn’t finished the movie to leave, and go get some Dairy Queen to salvage the evening.
The problem with Super 8 is the problem that many movies have nowadays with advanced graphics and CGI – as soon as you see the monster, you’re done for. Why was Jaws so brilliant? Because you never saw the shark. You knew it was there. You saw the terror it left in its wake. You heard the eerie music. But you didn’t actually see the shark. Years later, Spielberg admitted that he only did this because the shark didn’t look right. Technology had not advanced far enough to satisfy him. Little did he realize at the time, but because of his perfectionism and attention to detail, he created a cinematic feature that drove the film. Audiences were terrified of what they could not see.
This begs a very scary question, though: If Jaws were made today, and the shark could look just right, would it have been another box office bomb?
I haven’t been this let down in years. Remember the movie Signs? Back when M. Night Shyamalan wasn’t Hollywood’s laughingstock? He had just come off The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, two great films. I went into Signs thinking history would repeat itself, and I would be treated to another twisting and weaving plot that would hook me at the end. Instead, you know what I got? Really dumb aliens. And not just any aliens – aliens that were killed by water. Never mind that they had been traipsing around a planet whose atmosphere is riddled with water vapor. What if it had rained? All that terror, all that paranoia, could have been wiped out by a cool spring shower. Clever writing, that was. It just goes to show, if you don’t have a strong ending, you don’t have a strong movie.
So, seeing the monster killed it for me. But what really beat the dead horse (as in, it was already killed, yet they kept trying to kill it) was when they gave the alien feelings. Of course. A monster that has been killing maliciously for days can be talked down by a thirteen year old kid. Makes total sense.
The Labyrinth was a more believable movie than this. Maybe they should have cast David Bowie. So, better late than never, I rate this film with 2 bears. And the second bear isn’t even full-grown, it’s still just a little bear.
Grizzly Bomb 