All posts by grizzlyguestwriter

12 Monkeys Star Todd Stashwick Talks With Us About How To Make Season 3 Happen

From Former Geek Magazine Scribe, Nikki Griffin

I’ve spent all week reading articles about which shows are getting axed and which shows are getting picked up. For an avid sci-fi television fan, this time of year can be the most brutal. Networks just don’t seem to give good sci-fi a chance. Past shows like Jericho, Terminator: Sarah Conner Chronicles, Firefly, Dollhouse, and Flash Forward come to mind. Even this year, freshman drama, Limitless, is facing imminent cancellation. One thing that those sci-fi shows have in common is that they aired on broadcast television, as opposed to a cable network. What if I were to tell you that there is an amazing sci-fi show, currently on the air, that has the production value of a feature film, a legitimately talented cast of actors, rich characters, and a deep mythology rooted in a film with an established fan base?

There is. It’s called 12 Monkeys and it’s on the cable network Syfy.

Continue reading 12 Monkeys Star Todd Stashwick Talks With Us About How To Make Season 3 Happen

Comic-Con Cosplay Gallery: Milla Goldenberg and The Con Through Her Lens…

So last week was the international Comic Con in San Diego, and I (Dr. Kronner) was lucky enough to attend for the 2nd year in a row. As per usual of these types of events, there were plenty of people turned out in their best Comic-Con cosplay. In tow was my assistant good friend; New York Times published writer, Geek Magazine Copy Editor, and shutterbug Milla Goldenberg.

With her, as always was a camera, and what follows is a small portion of the massive amount of the photographic evidence that she (or at least her camera) was presented with on the convention floor. Everything from scantily clad ladies in their best Wonder Woman getup and shirtless dudes as their favorite superheroes.

It needs very little introduction… a gallery of Comic-Con cosplay!

Continue reading Comic-Con Cosplay Gallery: Milla Goldenberg and The Con Through Her Lens…

Star Trek Into Darkness – 2 AM Text Review

My buddy Aaron is a bartender for a certain movie theater here in Michigan, and on occasion, the theater will have advanced employee screenings for movies prior to the films release. This is his STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Review as he delivered to my phone Wednesday morning…

Aaron: It’s been 47 years and they still haven’t fixed the grammatical error of, “to boldly go.” What the hell bro?!  – 2:17

Aaron: Anyway, still torturing grammar sticklers with split infinitives is about the only thing wrong with Star Trek: Into Darkness.  – 2:18

Aaron: This was one of my top 3 most anticipated movies of the summer, so I had high expectations. One of my top three already flopped so I was really hopeful  that the USS Enterprise would fair a lot better than Stark Enterprise.  – 2:21

Aaron: 2 hours of amazement. It really looks like the crew knew what made the 2009 Star Trek a success and stuck to the formula. Great visuals, great acting, great script. It’s all there.  – 2:23

Aaron: As a person who has said repeatedly said “3D movies are pointless” finally we get one that is worth a damn. It was a nice touch, but still optional.  – 2:26

Aaron: But I promise you, at one point in the beginning, everyone in the theater will jump in their seats thanks to the 3D.  – 2:27

Aaron: Brand new adventure. No need to see the first to understand the second movie. I think this movie is the 4th in a row with a 0 Boob count (what’s going on here?!?!) but a nice glimpse of a dressed down Alice Eve is a great consolation prize.  – 2:30

Aaron: So go see it. Then go see it. Then go see it again. Whatever rating you gave the first movie, you’ll give the second. So for me, 5 out of 5. That’s an order. Kirk out.  – 2:32

 Star Trek Aaron

 

Iron Man 3 – 2 AM Text Review

My buddy Aaron is a bartender for a certain movie theater here in Michigan, and on occasion, the theater will have advanced employee screenings for movies the Wednesday night prior to the films release. This is his IRON MAN 3 Review as he delivered to my phone this morning…

Aaron: TONNNNYYYY!!!1  – 2:35 am

Aaron: 1) There’s no reason to see this movie in 3D. Not a single one. If anything, it only gives you a massive headache to deal with later.   – 2:36 am

Aaron: 2) Boob count: 0. What’d you expect?  – 2:37 am

Aaron: 3) I think the question was, is the movie building off of the avengers, or iron man 2? There are more mentions of the avengers by far so marvel is definitely building to that.   – 2:38 am

Aaron: 4) of course with everyone reprising their roles, the acting was on point. That’s about as surprising as the boob count being 0.   – 2:40 am

Aaron: 5) honestly, id give it a 3.5 out of 5. Lower than I hoped, but I’m not saying it’s garbage or a terrible ending to the trilogy. Still had the action, still had the explosive ending, still had the comedic effect of Stark’s ego and one liners. But in an effort to not spoil it, mostly of all it went too much of a feel good and got predictable. And not in a “i know the iron man story line like the back of my hand” kind of way.   – 2:46 am

Aaron: 6) as usual stay till the end to find out “Tony Stark will return.”   – 2:48 am

Aaron: 7) as for my picture, I’m not sure how I look on red and yellow. Might have to hook me up with the red, white and Blue. HOLLA!   – 2:50 am

Iron Aaron
Red, white, and Blue? Why make a picture like that when I already have this real picture of you right here?

Game of Thrones Review: 3.05 – ‘Kissed By Fire’

Kissed By Fire
Courtesy of I Am Ned Starks Missing Head

Obviously everyone wants to talk about the hot tub scene that just went down in the latest episode of Game of Thrones, Kissed By Fire, so naturally, we here at Grizzly Bomb want to congratulate Jon Snow on getting his. He broke the vows of the Watch and definitely got it on with Ygritte, in a fancy romantic hot spring no less. I’m sure all those people who wanted them to hook up are happy, as are those that have been complaining about a lack of nudity because you definitely got it tonight. But there’s still a lot that happened with Robb Stark, the Kingslayer, Arya and Stannis that we should delve into. Overall, it was a good episode, although it’s impossible to match the epicness that happened during ‘And Now His Watch Is Ended’, it still sets the stage for the rest of the season. Also, did you know this means we’re already halfway through the season? Damn you Game of Thrones for your short seasons and year of waiting for your awesomeness.

Kissed By Fire
Courtesy of BranStarking

It is a truly sweet moment between Ygritte and Jon Snow. Yeah, it starts off with pretty much two horny kids and the magical powers that apparently virgins have in satisfying their women (see: Podrick), but it gets to a sweet moment where they jump into the hot spring and she declares that she just never wants to leave, but alas, there’s a Wall to storm. In earlier scenes the Wildlings have been grilling Jon about the defenses to make sure that he’s telling the truth, and that they don’t get ambushed themselves. So there’s no chance that the hot tub loving will last. It’s Game of Thrones after all, there are people that need to be killed and betrayed and the such. Happiness doesn’t last in Westeros for long. (See: umm, every episode before this)

Kissed By Fire
Courtesy of Beside The Wall

This also happened too by the way. We got to see the trial by combat between Beric and The Hound and it definitely started off with theatrics courtesy of the Lord of Light. The deity would help light the sword on fire, but not so much with the end result of the fight. The Hound would overwhelm Beric and almost cut him in half. Arya was not a happy camper with that and tried to make a run at The Hound while he was down but was held back by Gendry.

Kissed By Fire
Courtesy of Live Transmissions

Of course, what caught Arya off guard was Beric rising after a quick prayer, without his deadly injury and a little pissed at himself. It was a cool fight regardless but we got to see that there’s some crazy stuff that surrounds the Lord of Light. We would later learn that Beric has been brought back from the dead no less than 6 times, but loses a bit of himself each and every time. Which makes sense considering you’ve been maimed, blinded, stabbed hanged, and everything else under the sun. Regardless, Arya will be taken to Riverrun as a “guest” in exchange for gold to Robb Stark. Gendry has decided to stay and be a smith to these wonderful people. Of course that upsets Arya because while she dropped the dead weight of Hot Pie, she wants Gendry to stick around and be a part of her family. Of course, he kinda creeped me out when he mentioned that it wouldn’t be as family, it’d be as ‘milady’. We’ll just let that settle for a bit.

Kissed by FireKissed by Fire

Courtesy of Amy-Williams

We check in at Riverrun with Robb Stark and he’s pissed off because one of his bannermen, Karstark, craves justice for his sons that were murdered by the Kingslayer last season, and takes out the Lannister boys that were in captivity. Rob brings the perpetrators in front of him and orders the men hanged, but for Karstark to be thrown in the dungeon. Karstark knows Robb won’t do anything but scold him and slap his wrist and lets him know about it. His mother, uncle, and wife plead with him to exercise caution when dealing with him because he still holds a large portion of the remaining army and the Lannisters will not stop. Naturally, Robb Stark loves being told what to do so he decides to behead him. Great performance by Richard Madden in the episode as Robb Stark because he seems overwhelmed and overburdened by everything this episode and shows it greatly, especially after slaying the traitor as he walks away, anger still seething in him wishing he didn’t have to make decisions anymore. Of course, in the aftermath, he realizes his error in judgment and has to plan his way out of it. Of course, he can’t attack King’s Landing, he can’t go back to Winterfell, so he thinks, ‘Hey, let me take their home and hit them where it hurts at Casterly Rock’. Only thing he needs is a bigger army and an ally. Hey, House Frey hasn’t sided with anyone! Oh wait, you were supposed to marry his daughter. That didn’t go so well. Foreshadowing? Hmm…

Kissed By Fire, Game of Thrones
Courtesy of niturbugul

Back at Dragonstone, we get an update from Stannis as he feels abandoned by his mistress and goes to his wife all lonely and depressed. He later confesses to her about cheating with his wizard mistress but apparently she already knows. She’s somewhat crazy herself and knows that she let him down as well because there are no boy heirs and she can’t deliver on that. Of course, she has a daily reminder of her failure so I can understand why she’s a bit…off. Let’s face it, if I went to my wife and said, ‘hey, that red-head I’ve been hanging out with, that’s happening’ I would’ve been stabbed to death in the middle of that sentence. But if you’re surrounded by your stillborn children, then you tend to just be a giant shell of yourself.

Kissed By Fire, Game of Thrones
Courtesy of ArtYucko

Of course, we also get the reveal that he does, in fact, have a daughter. Granted, he keeps her locked up because she has a disfigured face and not because she is Rapunzel. Stannis, a gentleman amongst gentlemen. Shireen is just happy to see him after all this time. The girl asks about Ser Davos, but Stannis explains to her that she won’t be seeing Davos anytime soon. Of course, those curious kids always want to know what’s up with that because she wants the gift he promised her from King’s Landing. He then decides to break her heart and tell her that he’s been locked up as a traitor to forget about him. Davos is her only friend so obviously this devastates her and Stannis further cements his legacy as man of the year. Naturally, this doesn’t stop Shireen from sneaking down to the dungeon to hang out with her friend Davos. He tries to shoo her away but to no avail. Girl just wants to hang and have pajama parties and brought him a book. Unfortunately, he can’t read so she offers to teach him and we get a nice little “Awwwww…” exchange.

Kissed by Fire game of thrones shireen davos 2

Kissed By Fire, Game of Thrones
Courtesy of: niturbugul

Let’s travel to King’s Landing where Grandmother Tyrell meets with Tyrion and they have a great exchange about the wedding bill as he tries to trim costs and she just completely matches him word for word. He is taken aback that someone could match him or even better, that she agreed to split the costs of the royal wedding. Of course, she’s super disappointed she didn’t get Tyrion at his drunken prime and instead gets the glorified accountant. Which was awesome of her to note because it’s absolutely true. We need that Tyrion back. Later, he gets summoned by his father and Cersei is present as a new plot has been devised. Apparently by Sansa Stark being married into the House Tyrell, the key to the north will move to that house. Tywin can’t have that and decides that Tyrion will get to marry Sansa, much to his disbelief. He feels she needs to break away and be rid of their family because of her treatment from Joffrey amongst others. Of course, this entertains Cersei until some more family duty comes down on her and Tywin says she will marry into the House Tyrell and relieve him of the disgrace that his children has brought on to his family. Maybe we can take away the father of the year award from Stannis because it totally belongs to Tywin. The below pic sums of the kids feelings. Sucks to be them.

Kissed By Fire, Game of Thrones

Speaking of the Lannisters, we also get an update from Jamie and Brienne as they get dropped off in Harrenhal. Jamie needs treatment on his rotting flesh wound and wants to feel the pain. Granted, the person operating him lost in license due to him freelancing with experiments so maybe Jamie will come out with the hook hand like Buster Bluth. Which would be awesome but it doesn’t happen unfortunately. Brienne is then treated to another hot tub bath and Jamie decides to join her post surgery. It’s an interesting contrasting scene between the two of them and the other hot tub scene with Jon Snow and Ygritte. Brienne obviously doesn’t want his stubby hand in the water with her. Obviously, Jamie likes to push buttons and just takes a dip in regardless. Of course, he goads her by bringing up her failure to protect him and Renly and she is offended and stands up to him. From them on, stuff gets real. He breaks down and reveals to truth behind his name and that shame her carries every time it is uttered by others. It’s really a heart felt confession and a small crack into his mind. The Mad King wouldn’t surrender was going to destroy the city from within and all the citizens inside with wildfire. Jamie had no choice but to slay the Mad King. When Ned Stark arrived, he kept his mouth shut because as Lannister must remain proud. He then collapses and then tells Brienne to call him by his real name. Really a great moment that really makes you question what Jamie is going through and how his mind works. I mean, he’s still a dick but still.

Kissed By Fire, Game of Thrones

Kissed By Fire, Game of Thrones
Courtesy of canuta-black

Again, a lot happened in this episode but overall it was great one. Definitely got to see some happiness seep in as well as more and more plot development that will deliver a heckuva finale. Oh Game of Thrones, is there anything you can’t do? Short of having Don Draper or the crew from The Walking Dead show up and just confuse the hell out of people. But man, how cool would that be?

Click here for a look at Game of Thrones 3.06 – The Climb

HBO’s Game of Thrones: 304 – ‘And Now His Watch Is Ended’

Daenerys Targaryren, congratulations, you’ve completely endeared yourself to the millions of viewers (yet again) and now have your army, all of your dragons, and the heart of the world. What do you plan to do next? Take the Iron Throne? You betcha! Game of Thrones has kicked it into high gear with special props to one of our favorite characters.

Kissed By Fire
Courtesy of womeninfridges.tumblr.com

So remember how we all talked in the last few weeks how we’re about to build up into something? Well, we definitely got it and a nice reminder that the Dragon Queen is NEVER to be trifled with. Or even at least called a slut behind her back, regardless of it being in a different language. We definitely got some excitement in Game of Thrones land and we won’t hesitate in trying to explain the awesome sauce that poured from the television, especially the final part. Of course, we have other things to discuss before I bombard you with Dany GIFs so let’s roll to it then.

game of thrones jamie hand
Courtesy of iamnedstarksmissinghead.tumblr.com

We can’t forget what happened the end of last week when Jamie Lannister extended his hand to help out Brienne. He ends up wearing it around his neck, despondent that his sword hand is now a vanity item that will clearly trend in all the popular jewelry stores across King’s Landing. He gives it another go to attack his captors with his other hand, but he’s weak and depressed and ends up with horse piss dribbling from his mouth and face buried on the mud. Later at the camp, Brienne rips into him (and rightfully so) because he just wants to die and not eat. She pretty much calls him a woman cause he gives up so easily. She’s clearly trying to motivate him and it works. She then also asks why he bothered to save her, even with the story about her home being a ‘Sapphire Isle’ and it being a lie, and we just get a longing look from Jamie to end the scene. Whether that’s filled with regret because he totally is a southpaw now or that he genuinely wants to help her survive, I guess we’ll have to wait to find out, but damn good work by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, showing that he can play more than a smug incestuous asshole. Dude’s a got layers and he’s showing them off.

game of thrones varys 1
Courtesy of niturbugul.tumblr.com
game of thrones varys 2
Courtesy of niturbugul.tumblr.com

We also get to see some King’s Landing stuff with the rest of the Lannisters and we get a fun tidbit from Lord Varys. He loves his revenge and while it may take a while, he definitely doesn’t forget a grudge. Seeing this back and forth between him and Tyrion was fun seeing the distrust and yet the advisement from Varys that if you stick the course, you’ll soon have a sorcerer in a box to deal with as you please. Seriously, first thing that came to my head:

Anyways, Tyrion believes that his sister Cersei is behind his attempted assassination so he’s fishing for information and allies. Meanwhile, Cersei feels she’s losing the grip of controlling her son to the always charming Margaery. Her goodwill to work the system and appeal to the common folk might have been an attempt to put Joffrey into the good graces of his people once again, and of course, he’s totally digging her. Cersei goes to her father to ask for some help with House Tyrell and that Jamie’s return will be guaranteed only to be dismissed with the great line of, “I don’t distrust you because you’re a woman. I distrust you because you’re not as smart as you think”. Thanks dad.

game of thrones littlefinger featherbeds
Courtesy of pokingfunatlittlefinger.tumblr.com

We also see Varys interact with Lady Olenna, which was awesome. She’s vaulting up the charts as a new favorite just because of her bluntness and total disregard to acting like a ‘proper lady’. Anyways, he confronts her with information that Sansa might be sneaking off with Littlefinger in a power grab. She devises a plan to use Margaery to get close to Sansa and throw a wrench into those plans. Margaery visits Sansa while she prays and in the midst of the conversation about boys, slumber parties and pillow fights in their underwear (that’s what girls do when they get together, right?), she proposes that they become besties and never separate, good times and bad. Margaery then drops a bit of a proposal that she marry Loras, her brother, so they could be sisters. More giggling ensues and we’re pretty sure Littlefinger would not approve of his meal ticket going into another direction while he gets to deal with the crazy sister of his crush.

game of thrones margaery joffrey wave
Courtesy of mrhankey.tumblr.com

Meanwhile, at Craster’s Keep, a full on mutiny is about to go down. There’s no food, they are at Craster’s where they are demeaned and surrounded by the results of his evilness and disgusting nature. Sam is still trying to cozy up to Gilly and her son but she just doesn’t want to deal with anyone knowing the fate of her baby. However, things inside are about to get nasty. Apparently Craster HATES being called a bastard and the rest of the hungry watch egg him on. The result? Craster bites it and unfortunately, so does the Lord Commander when he tries to restore order in the house. Sam takes this time to get Gilly and her baby and run out before we hear the nice parting message of, “Run fast Piggy!” I bet he misses Jon Snow right about now…

Theon Greyjoy is sneaking about to get back to his other family and we get treated to a great poignant scene where he realizes that he pulled a Gob Bluth and made a huge mistake. Just before he encounters his sister, and before his rescuer says that Theon’s father knew that he was being tortured, we get Theon breaking down. He knows he could never be a Stark but no one else could ever have done the job of being his family other than the Starks. He confesses that he ordered the killing and burning of orphans and he’s paid the Iron Price for Winterfell. He knows he chose incorrectly and he has no choice but to carry that with him.

game of thrones theon dad 1game of thrones theon dad 2

Courtesy of asmiladycommands.tumblr.com

 Unfortunately, he’s carrying that burden into the same torture chamber he just escaped out of. Apparently it was all a ruse and his “rescuer” pins the blame of the murdered chasers on him and that he is where he belongs. Totally cool betrayal scene that catches people off guard, especially after the “confession” of Theon.

game of thrones arya brave

We also get to visit with Arya and the Hound as he is about to receive judgement from his actions. The band of travelers is the Brotherhood Without Banners, deserters from all walks of life and loyalty and they now gather in a cave. Their leader is Beric and they worship the Lord of Light. If they sounds familiar, it’s the same thing the Melisandre worships so come to your own conclusions. They are actually looking for the Hound’s brother for murder, but Arya remembers that he did murder a young boy way back in season 1 so he’s going to get a trial by combat. They may not have the right guy but Arya definitely gave them a reason to hold him responsible for vile actions. This is a bit of a short scene but I like that Arya is labeled as the bravest one there. It’s probably true in the group of deserters but he still gets to fight Beric next week so we definitely have that to look forward to. A lot definitely happened this episode but since everyone should be caught up on the comings and goings of the others in Westeros, I can finally get to the scene that everyone is talking about…

game of thrones a dragon is not a slave
Courtesy of sulkingangelo.tumblr.com

You’re most definitely right Dany, a dragon is NOT a slave. We are treated to the best scene of the season and the perfect ending to a wonderful episode. Stuff went down and to bookend it is Daenerys looking as sharp as ever. She is about to claim her slave army in exchange for her dragon. She takes the symbolic whip from the slave master Kraznys and holds it while he clutches the dragon, trying to revel in his new pet. He provides the line of, “The bitch has her army,” and we’re to think that he got what he wants and Dany loses a foothold because of her sacrifice of her dragon and seemingly bad negotiation skills. But guess what, Daenerys has another card up her sleeve. She goes out to her new army and then address them in Valyrian. That’s right boys and girls, she totally knew the language and that this jackass was dogging her the whole time. This is the show’s “Oh snap!” moment. Emilia Clarke steals this show here with the way she takes hold and delivers her dialogue and her actions. For those that didn’t read the books, she played the audience as well as Kraznys.

game of thrones burn baby burn
Courtesy of a-red-blueberry.tumblr.com

She takes command and declares that line of her dragon not being a slave. She commands the slave masters killed and all the slaves set free and to leave the children unharmed. Kraznys yells for his guards to kill her but she has other plans. She calls to her dragon Dracarys, which apparently signals to burn that dude alive. Everyone is stunned in the aftermath. Yes, she was always acting too big for her britches and declaring what she wants and she will get everything despite having no resources to get them. But look at her now, standing her ground, playing people like a fiddle, leaving her mark wherever she goes…she is the true Dragon Queen and no one should mess with her. She has the army to back her up and she has freed everyone. She wants them to march in her favor, but only as free men. She wins them over just like she won us over. Annnnnnddd….scene.

This is easily the best episode of the year. Getting text messages from people declaring their love for Daenerys and that something actually went down in the episode shows that everyone else in the world probably loved it too. We got the next preview of the upcoming episode of Game of Thrones in another post so check that out and as always, come back and share some love of Game of Thrones. Also, I love Daenerys Targaryen and she definitely raised her game up and got the season moving at full speed once again.

HBO’s Game of Thrones: 303 – ‘Walk of Punishment’

Hey, how about that? We finally advanced the plot in Game of Thrones! I say that somewhat jokingly but we all have to admit that it’s been pretty quiet with all the introductions of new characters and the reintroduction of everyone’s storylines, so when we finally see things happening, it’s a bit of a jolt to the senses. “Walk of Punishment” starts delving into some good stuff and is a great watch as we see Rob Stark get some great scenes, as well as Jamie Lannister and Tyrion. Hell, we even got a rock song version of “The Bear and The Maiden Fair”, which caught me off guard. Granted, the end of the episode helped with that as well but we’ll talk about that later…

game of thrones rob stark
Courtesy of Making fun of the Starks

The episode begins with the funeral of Rob Stark’s grandfather and a bunch of botched attempts from his Uncle Edmund Tully in lighting the funeral pyre. Obviously after a few attempts, Rob can’t contain himself despite the fact it’s a funeral. Granted, it’s one of the few smiles we’ve seen of him so he deserves a bit of a break here. We also (finally) get an introduction to Blackfish Tully, who (was in the first book) definitely hits the mark on the boat. I feel it has something to do with him being a badass. Anyways, with the smiles gone, we also get Rob finally taking control and acting like a king in reprimanding Edmund for screwing with his plans in trying to win battles as opposed to the war. A great scene for Richard Madden in where he grapples for control and we needed more Rob Stark. He’s the friggin’ King of the North so we needed more of him than random check ups. Regardless, at Riverrun, we also get Catelyn and Blackfish reminisce about her dear old stubborn father. She then gets sad as she remembers waiting for him to come back from battle and relates it to the fact she might never see any of her kids as they wait for her and Rob. Blackfish acknowledges her grief but then basically tells her to man up, because she has to be strong and show that faith remains that everyone is alright. Otherwise, what would Rob Stark be fighting so hard for? Again, good scene although we get it at this point, Catelyn is not holding up well and it’s starting to show.

We also get an update at King’s Landing with Tywin, Cersei, Tyrion, and the rest of the Small Council. Everyone has a place at the table as they move into position to be closer to Tywin. Cersei moves to the right of her father as the rest of the council moves into position in order to establish themselves, not like kids fighting for attention from their dad. And Tyrion? He knows what he’s doing as he sits across from the long table and makes a commotion dragging his chair from one side of the room to the other. He is less impressed in making a play to get the attention of the father that has shunned him. I thought this was the best scene of the episode as it typifies the constant chess match that Game of Thrones has been known for. Constant power struggles and positioning made this scene extremely entertaining with the lack of dialogue and action for a few minutes and it worked to perfection. At least Cersei thought so too.

game of thrones cersei eyeroll
Courtesy of Behind the Wall

Anyways, Littlefinger gets the wonderful task of marrying Lysa, the crazy breast-feeding sister of Catelyn, in order to draw support away from Rob Stark and his forces. Granted it also means Littlefinger has to deal with the mayor of crazytown, but if it means he gets to be an actual Lord, he’ll just about hold her kid up for the meal himself. That also means that Tyrion draws Littlefinger’s old job as Master of Coin. Pretty much a thankless job in managing the books that brings zero joy to one’s own self-worth. Just like a real accounting job. As Tyrion gathers the books, he finally gives his squire the best present of his life. Or any heterosexual teenage male’s life for that matter.

podrick
Gif from Elara

Three prostitutes for saving his life? It makes me want to scour Michigan to find a little person in trouble and save them to see what happens. Anyways, Tyrion pays his way and comes to find out that the kid didn’t need the money and that they accepted him and deflowered for free. This piques Tyrion’s interest and immediately asks for details. Hilarious I must add as him and his protector as confused and just want to know more on how this could actually happen.

Anyways, we also get an update from the Jon Snow group, which gets a nice little Godfather introduction with some horse’s heads and a few body parts as well. Mance Rayder splits the group off to attack the wall and Jon Snow will be the way in. Looks like loyalties will be tested pretty soon. Speaking of conundrums, we get an update from what’s left of the King’s Watch group as they arrive at Craster’s Keep. Sam gets made fun of for his portly shape as we hear a woman’s screams in the background. Giving birth tends to do that and as Sam goes to investigates, he commits the cardinal sin of witness and watching the birthing occur. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty sure that when a part of bringing a baby in the world, it would be a marvelous experience but crap, I would be scarred for life if I was anywhere but behind my wife because that would ruin all the happy thoughts in my head. But he witnesses a future crime about to happen as the baby turns out to be a boy…and we all know what happens to boys at Craster’s Keep.

game of thrones horse head

Theon finally breaks out and despite having what must be an infection in his mangled foot, he gets to riding in order to escape his captors. Naturally they catch up to him and we get a pretty cool and intense chase scene and he catches a morning star directly to the chest which definitely knocks him the hell down. He does get saved through from Legolas. Okay, not Legolas but from his savior friend (Iwan Rheon) from the keep. Also, is it just me but have archers dominated this season? I blame Katniss Everdeen. But it looks like Theon has an angel overlooking him and his black cloud. He just happens to be an angel from Misfits.

game of thrones theon savior
Courtesy of Prettylabia

We also see Dany back in Astapor as she navigates the streets of the slave city and debates what it must take in order to win the Iron Throne back. The sacrifices of innocents and using an army of slaves in order to get what she wants. Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan go back and forth between what is right and what is wrong, as well as what it takes to win and the casualties, whether innocent or guilty, that will pile up along the way. Knowing Game of Thrones, there’s going to be a lot of both parties as Dany struggles with the right decision. She ends up going for the 8000 strong slave army but the cost is so exorbitant, it requires one of her dragons, which she gives up despite the objections of Ser Jorah. She also gets the translator woman (who did manage to clean up the translation so as not to get fileted by the dragons by insulting the Dragon Queen) and they look to become fast friends as she wants to protect the people who come along with her, probably something slaves aren’t used to.

game of thrones daenerys all men 1

game of thrones daenerys all men 2
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This brings us to Jamie Lannister and Brienne. Jamie knows that once they make camp, the men are going to make a run at her and tells her not to resist but of course, what woman wouldn’t resist if going through such a vile act. Despite the differences, you feel Jamie respects her, probably moreso after she beats him in a sword fight earlier. When the awful time comes, Jamie bargains with his captors for her escaping that fate, riches upon riches if they let them be. Jamie thinks he has it in the bag but it looks like they are well versed on his verbal charisma and are having none of it. We then get treated to his punishment and if that wasn’t disorienting enough, we get a rock version of “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” from The Hold Steady. Like I said, that just threw me the heck off but I loved this episode. A lot of stuff happened and we were treated to some great scenes. Of course, we have the song below and a preview of the next episode and some exclusive stills that looks familiar as Game of Thrones pays homage to another great show. Enjoy my friends.

game of thrones jamie buster
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