Category Archives: Movie News & Opinions

#14 – Countdown to Christmas: GREMLINS

Never expose it to bright light, never get water on it, and never, ever feed it after midnight. These were the three rules that Billy Peltzer (Zach Galligan) couldn’t follow after his father, Randall (Hoyt Axton) bought him a strange new pet called a Gremlin. The pet was a Christmas present that soon turned into a nightmare.

Gremlins is a classic 80s movie directed by legendary horror filmmaker, Joe Dante. The genius behind cult classics like the original 1978 Piranha movie paired up with producer Steven Spielberg to create what is still considered one of the best movies of all time. Marketed as a Christmas horror-comedy, Gremlins is that type of movie that everyone can enjoy and get a kick of after almost thirty years.


Gremlins
’ plot is simple. Boy gets pet, pet has rules, boy breaks rules, and hell breaks loose. A rather conventional plot that is twisted by two masters of cinema, the film transcends from a common cult flick to a box office phenomena. Grossing over $150 million dollars on an approximated $11 million dollar budget, Gremlins is a classic in every sense of the word.

The screenplay, which was penned by Chris Columbus, another 80s legend, is fast, funny, scary and satisfying, sometimes simultaneously. The characters are likeable, even the Gremlins themselves, who change from cute little house pets to malicious imps. The great part about them is their sense of humor. The evil incarnations of the Gremlins aren’t necessarily out for blood, but they do what they want, when they want it, usually with pretty hilarious results. From smoking cigars, to drinking copious amounts of alcohol, the Gremlins are just as bad as any common punk, except there are hundreds upon hundreds of them.

A sequel was spawned in 1990 entitled Gremlins 2: The New Batch. The film, which was also directed by Joe Dante, was entertaining enough, but failed to capture the magic and mayhem of the original by trying to be too much like the original, while also trying to convince itself that it was different.

There’s nothing like a classic, and a classic Gremlins is. It works as a Halloween movie as well, but deep down, you know exactly what Gremlins is all about, Christmas.

5/5 Bears Peanut’s Trees.

For more COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS – Click it Here! 

Also Check out our COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN…  

Oh, and Phoebe Cates was in it too. (This is not from GREMLINS)

#15 – Countdown to Christmas: A CHRISTMAS STORY

In 1983, one of the most iconic and over-played Christmas movies released. It was called “A Christmas Story“.

Some of you may be sick of this film by now because TV has ruined it. Not only do they chop it up, but it plays on loop for 24 straight hours beginning on Christmas Eve every year. I however, still love this movie for so many reasons! In A Christmas Story, Ralphie (Peter Billingsly) is just a geeky kid in glasses who gets picked on sometimes and has an annoying little brother. The plot for this entire movie revolved around what Ralphie wants for Christmas: A Red Ryder BB gun. This does not sound like it would make a good movie, but this film is absolutely hilarious because of the little things.

Continue reading #15 – Countdown to Christmas: A CHRISTMAS STORY

#16 – Countdown to Christmas: THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

“Old Henson was dead as a doornail. This must be distinctly understood or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.”

I might have just committed blasphemy in multiple ways with that mixing of the first two sentences from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (1843) and the fact that Jim Henson had passed away before The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) was created. However, I find it only appropriate considering that was the first Muppet movie made after Jim Henson’s death in 1990. It was the first movie in which the infamous Kermit the Frog was voiced by someone other than Jim. A fact that still slows my mind.

It is with this in mind that I recount the Muppets’ version of the classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, a miserly old money-lender with a certain disdain for the Christmas Spirit.

Narrated by the unflappable Gonzo the Great, with the help of Rizzo the Rat, the tale begins in the hub-bub of 19th century London, where, amongst a mixed choir of people and Muppets, we are introduced to old E. Scrooge. This version of Scrooge is played by the living legend Michael Caine.  Caine’s Scrooge is as grumpy and unlikeable as George C. Scott’s 1984 television version, but here you don’t think that Scrooge would do well in North Africa.(Sidenote: George Carlin was at one point considered for the role of Scrooge. That would have been different).

The musical continues with the introduction of the Muppet mainstay, Kermit the Frog. This is the first feature length film in which Jim Henson has not performed the voice of Kermit. Henson is replaced (though there is no replacing him) by Steve Whitmire.  While geeks like me may get caught up in the change, the reality is that the spirit of Jim Henson still flows through the character.

The plot of “A Christmas Carol” stays fairly true to the Dickens’ work, thanks to the addition of Gonzo as the narrator. Brian Henson (Jim’s son), a director, made the decision to use Gonzo as the narrator to pay homage to the brilliance of Dickens’ descriptions and phrasings. The other option, according to the bonus features on the DVD, were to use Gonzo as the Ghost of Christmases yet to come. His nose would have stuck out from the hooded cloak. I’m glad they went with the narrator idea. Good job folks.

While the story is unfolded before us, the audience is given the classic mix of heart-felt family values, silly physical comedy, and witty (and often adult content) dialogue that is expected from the Muppets. Also we are treated to the fact that Michael Caine can’t sing, which is hilarious to me.

I give this movie 4 out of 5.

I leave you with this tid-bit:

‘Robert Marley’ is a character added to the Muppets version along with Jacob Marley. This is to accommodate Statler and Waldorff  (the old guys on the balcony). Robert Marley….Bob Marley. Bob Marley surrounded by ‘wailing’ cash boxes. Oh, I get it.

Muppet Christmas Carol

#17 – Countdown to Christmas: THE POLAR EXPRESS

In 2004, some crafty computer animation and very talented voice acting gave us one of the most visually exciting Christmas movies that kids could watch, too. It is called The Polar Express.

I don’t know why, but I always get excited when a movie takes place in Michigan. The Polar Express takes place in Grand Rapids, MI. Well… the beginning does, anyway. This movie tells the story of a young lad who is losing his Christmas spirit. He is at that in-between age where he is thinking that Santa Claus is not real. A train pulls up in front of his house and waits for him to come down. He is invited to go with this group of kids to the North Pole. The conductor (Tom Hanks) says that they are all going to see Santa Claus.

Continue reading #17 – Countdown to Christmas: THE POLAR EXPRESS

#18 – Countdown to Christmas: THE REF

If there is a favorite Christmas movie for me I have to go with Christmas Vacation, but right behind it (We’re talking milimeters here) is my second favorite holiday flick starring Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey: The Ref.

The story revolves around the Chasseur family. Let me get this out-of-the-way right now. It’s pronounced ‘Shass-Oor’ and as you must know, it’s an 18th century French Huguenot name. But I digress, the Chasseur family is a pretty well off family with a lovely home… from the outside. Look in and there’s quite a bit more going on. Spouses Lloyd and Caroline are in the middle of some terrible marital strife and their son Jesse is a delinquent who enjoys black mailing his commander at military school for money in his off time. So what do they need to bring their family closer during the holidays on Christmas Eve? Gus, the cat burglar played by none other than Denis Leary. Leary essentially makes the movie with his fast talking, foul-mouthed way with people. This guy is a comedic genius but it doesn’t even sound like he’s trying half the time. He’s just pissed and complains and that’s that.

So where does Gus come into play? Well, he and his part Murray are in the process of thieving from one of the richest guys in town when something goes wrong… the guy has an almost road runner like trap set up for thieves which includes spraying cat piss in their face and dropping them down a chute to the basement where waits a very hungry Doberman. With the little community essentially closed off by police in an effort to capture Gus, he does the only thing he can do and that is take Lloyd and Caroline hostage.

This may have been the biggest mistake of his life given the fact that the couple cannot agree on anything and argue constantly. Not to mention they are having relatives over for Christmas Eve dinner, including the bitchiest bitch of mothers, a simpleton brother in-law and nearly as bitchy sister in-law. So the hostage party continues with Gus in the guise of their doctor… Dr. Wong. (Played by Law and Order/Oz alum B.D. Wong at the movie’s start.)

The movie is funny as hell, but actually reflects some real life drama that people have with their in-laws in the real world we live in. I’ve seen some bitchy mother in-laws who should immediately go to hell, let me tell ya. It also makes one wonder if it would work to force people to sit down and talk things out. Just don’t get any thoughts this Christmas season of sitting your family down at gunpoint to discuss their issues. I give the movie 5 out of 5 Christmas Trees.

Perfect movie with all of the right actors, comedy and drama added in. Plus Denis Leary lays out a Santa in one punch worthy of Ryu from Street Fighter. Check it out below:

For more COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS – Click it Here! 

Also Check out our COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN… 

‘Evil Dead’ Remake: More Horror, New Characters, Still No Ash

Evil Dead was a movie that changed how I viewed movies. No longer was I bound by strict genre categories and high budget sensibilities. Evil Dead and its sequels proved that a horror movie can be funny, and a love story can be dramatic and filled with action all without a huge budget.

The trilogy is a pop culture phenom with a highly dedicated fanbase, and if you haven’t seen it, you’ve heard it quoted at some point in your life. When news dropped that it would be receiving a sequel/remake, fans were understandably concerned. Sure, we all wanted to see Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell return to the series that catapulted them to stardom (at least in my eyes), but only if done in the right way.

Continue reading ‘Evil Dead’ Remake: More Horror, New Characters, Still No Ash