Grizzly Review: The Bourne Legacy

There is an irony to The Bourne Legacy. The soldiers in the movie blindly do what they are told and never question the mission or authority. If an important task needs to be accomplished, they go head first, with an eye on the prize and don’t blink. They are only controlled by what seems to be a reliance on the same two sets of pills. The redundancy of these tasks echoes the movie. The film charges forward without questioning its path despite the ripe material it glances upon but we continue to eat it up because we don’t question the monotony of what we view on the screen, which results in a generic action thriller that only scratches the surface of a greater story.

In the fourth installment of this series, Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) is a genetically enhanced field agent similar to Jason Bourne (Matt Damon, who shows up in spirit only). He is part of the Outcome program, a more sophisticated, controlled program than Treadstone from the first three films. These soldiers are genetically enhanced for higher motor and physical skills, as well as better mental dexterity and ability. They have a reliance on a set of two pills, as previously mentioned, which breaks down into the blue and green. It does remind of The Matrix in which the control and enhancement of their abilities is based on whether they take the pills or not. The major difference is if they take the pills, they play into the control aspect of being reliant on their prescriptions from their providers (granted, if they don’t take the pills, they probably get shot).

Unfortunately for these Outcome members, Jason Bourne is happening. More specifically, the third movie’s events, The Bourne Ultimatum, is running concurrently during this movie. He raises the profile of the possibility of other programs in the CIA so in turn, all evidence must go. That includes Outcome and its members. So Aaron Cross must survive and find answers, and of course, he is almost out of the pills so he must find a doctor connected to Outcome (Rachel Weisz, who follows the Hollywood tradition of aging backwards) in order to get his dosage and survive.

The best part about the Bourne movies were its ability to take a small detail and make it rich in detail, or provide an essential purpose. Whether looking at the limits of patriotism or the idea of fighting for freedom with people who had theirs taken from them, I loved the Bourne Trilogy because there was that underlying message of the cost of ‘whatever it takes’. Of course, being able to use a magazine to disarm someone or a towel to take out a knife wielding villain helps too. I feel this movies brushes against these issues yet won’t attach themselves to them.

Edward Norton plays Eric Byer, the guy tasked with cleaning up the Treadstone mess and anything related to it but him and his character were surprisingly one note. There was no tension on what he provides on-screen, no sense of urgency that he felt like a character born out of the necessity of moving the plot along. He was there to explain to the audience why Aaron Cross is the person we were following in this movie. Byer and his team were into the players from The Bourne Ultimatum like Pamela Landy (Joan Allen), Ezra Kramer (Scott Glenn), Albert Hirsch (Albert Finney), Noah Vosen (David Strathairn) and the most frustrating thing was to not watch their stories unfold. I wanted to know how or if there were going to be punished for their roles in the clandestine world of black ops, whether Landy uncovering Treadstone made her a patriot or a traitor to the country; if CIA Director Kramer covered up what was the best means possible to get the job done and if the ends justified the means; if Dr. Hirsch opened up the gates to super soldiers; or if Vosen was correct in his definition of patriotism and loyalty to his nation. I got none of this. Writer and director Tony Gilroy went the wrong way for this movie because it merely scratches the surface and nothing more.

It doesn’t help that the movie was boooorrrriiinnngggg. This is of no fault to Renner or Weisz, who were both good in their roles. The flick just comes up short and as it just wants to be a carbon copy of actions movies. For the first third of the movie, I felt I was watching The Grey. The chase was straight out of The Bourne Ultimatum. Heck, I felt like I was watching Spy Game during certain pockets of the movie. I wasn’t sure if I was watching a survivalist movie, a straight action flick, or a detailed espionage flick. Regardless, we’ve seen the movie before. It brings nothing new to the table and sadly, felt like it had no purpose. This movie did not follow its namesake and expand upon the legacy of Bourne. The action was decent but never anything ground breaking or having cause to talk about it right after the movie about “hey, did you see that one part?!”

There were good parts in the movie, such as the Manila rooftop and car chase (although I’m biased coming from the motherland myself) and less reliance of shaky-cam but this movie could have been so good. Maybe my expectations were too high dealing with the Greengrass/Damon combination. There is no creativity in the movie and that takes away from the mythology of Bourne. Even more frustrating is how the movie just ends with no real resolution to the plot or characters in this story. This movie is nothing more than diversionary ploy to look aesthetically pleasing yet provide no answers while asking the wrong questions. Skip the Bourne ‘Letdown’.

On a side note, another program that is chasing Cross all around Manila, is a beta subject that exhibits even less empathy. He basically came off as the Asian T-1000. Sunglasses, police motorcycle, him running and giving the quick turn and stare before launching him arms in perfect 90 degree swinging motion…seriously entertained Dr. Kronner and myself. Some of my exes might even think that’d be me considering how “emotionally unavailable” I am…So apparently based off of that, I am the next Jason Bourne – with NO EMPATHY.

Grizzly Review: The Campaign

Enter The Campaign: Cam Brady, a strange mixture of both George W. Bush and Bill Clinton is a congressman running for another term, this time completely unopposed. That is until political nobody Marty Huggins enters the race at the behest of his retired, politician father (Brian Cox) and his former campaign contributors. (Both played by a terribly underutilized Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow.)  As shown throughout the trailer for this political satire, a vicious match of mud slinging ensues which honestly just gets tired by about the middle of the movie.

The Campaign suffers from two things: Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis exhibiting their same old schtick, and the majority of the laughs being shown in the trailer I mentioned above. I’m not saying that there weren’t funny parts in the movie, but they were so few and far between that I had trouble not checking the time on my cell phone, and that‘s knowing that other moviegoers hate lit cell phone screens in the theater. I almost felt like people in the theater were cautiously laughing at certain scenes just so it wouldn’t make the movie seem so terrible.

A movie with a comedic cast of this caliber should have had me throwing up from laughter. Ferrell and Galifianakis should make that a guarantee, but when their shenanigans aren’t enough shouldn’t Jason Sudekis, Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow somehow be able to pull us though? Shockingly enough, extra laughs were secured with me by Dylan McDermott who stole the scene every time he appeared on-screen. His dochebaggery as the smooth, relentless campaign manager to Marty Huggins was a welcome addition to the movie from an actor I had no idea could make me laugh the few times I did. Hopefully he’s in a few more roles like this in the coming years. He could be the next Channing Tatum in terms of how I went from absolutely hating C-Tates to actually liking him after 21 Jump Street. But that still doesn’t mean I went and saw Magic Mike.

Overall this movie serves a way to point out how corrupt politics is and how stupid a select two portions of the American population are ideologically. The only thing is, I don’t think that the audience needed a movie to tell us all of these things. And if the studio felt like they needed to then they could have done it in a funnier way. I had a much better time and more laughs watching a walking, talking, pot smoking teddy bear this year for God’s sake! 2 out of 5 Grizzlies is what I say! That dog WON’T hunt Monseigneur!

Be sure to check out our 2 A.M. Text Review of The Campaign also! 

It’s happening… ALF The Movie

Remember when we were talking about ALF voice and creator Paul Fusco pitching the idea for an ALF movie to the studios back in May? Well then it’s good news for you if you grew up in the 80’s or resided on the planet Melmac! Gordon Shumway or ALF as his illegal alien harboring human friends like to call him, is getting a movie. This is not a big surprise considering the success of such movies as Alvin and the Chipmunks and The Smurfs. Granted, those were cartoons turned into movies but the idea is basically the same with the approach of using CGI technology to make something mediocre from the 80’s into a modern day cash machine. So expect an extra long episode of ALF with more of a budget.

Even as a kid I thought the show was a little silly and now looking back I can’t believe I ever used to watch it. For those of youngsters not familiar with ALF, the show followed alien Gordon Shumway after he crash landed in the suburbs of America. Actually he landed in the trash pile of the Tanner family who (reluctantly at first) take Gordon in and proceed over the course of the show to hide him from neighbors and government officials alike. And they call him ALF instead of Gordon because it stands for Alien Life Form as the elder Tanner points out. Seriously, this crap was sitcom gold back then.

I would say it will be interesting to see which route they go with the movie, but seeing as how it’s the same producer as The Smurfs I’ m sure it will be all sorts of family friendly. Having so recently watched Ted in theaters, one can only dream of the hilarity that would ensue if ALF was as foul mouthed and drug induced as that cuddly teddy bear. No talks of release dates or actors/actresses but we’ll be sure to keep you posted!

Take this as you will…

He’s Back! Arnold Schwarzenegger in ‘Last Stand’

Wow…has it really been 9 years since his last leading role in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines – oh right, yeah that’s whySeriously I think I speak for all of us when I say he needs to come back and kick ass. This new acting chapter should be fun to see, and we know there is more of him to come in the next few years (please be good). Will he be the same action icon with one liners or something more serious? I would like to see something more serious, but I also don’t want him to lose his personality (Batman and Robin was too far). The picture below shows the main characters in his latest film – Last Stand. This is director Kim Ji-Woon‘s first American film.

Continue reading He’s Back! Arnold Schwarzenegger in ‘Last Stand’

Know Your Sith! Week One: Darth Kruhl

I’m proud to bring everyone a new weekly post that I prefer to call “Know Your Sith”.  And yes that is a play on the words ‘know your shit’. Just like Sith Happens and Sith-head. Basically we will feature a new Sith Lord every week and a brief bio including their claim to fame and some pivotal moments for them in the Star Wars universe. And just so everyone knows, we won’t be covering well known Sith Lords such as Darth Vader, Darth Sidious and Darth Tyranus. This is a chance for the Star Wars fans out there to have a little back story on Sith Lords from some of the expanded universe work out there including comics, games and novels.

At one point George Lucas issued an edict to the expanded universe writers and figure heads: No Sith and No Galaxy Spanning Wars. Also I think he said no more Wookie Jedi, which is a damn shame. But once the New Jedi Order series started the whole galaxy spanning war thing sort of went out the window. With the completion of the NJO series the no Sith rule also went out the window and now we have Old Republic Sith, post NJO Sith and Legacy era Sith. To the layman, those are several of the different time eras in the Star Wars expanded universe.

And now for this week’s Sith Lord:

DARTH KRUHL

“A Sith has many ways to kill.”

Race: Human (Home Planet Unknown)

Claim to fame: Almost took out the Emperor Roan Fel

Moment of Shame: Dying by blaster bolt. I mean seriously, you’re a Sith.

Sith Affiliation: The Order of the One Sith

Darth Kruhl definitely didn’t have much face time, but definitely made an impact and proved that he was pretty bad ass. Showing up in the widely loved Legacy comic line written John Ostrander, Darth Kruhl was one of the One Sith Order’s best assassins and intelligence operatives. We were able to watch him single handedly manipulate and ultimately bind the planet of Munto Codru to the will of his Sith Emperor, Darth Krayt, but it is Kruhl’s assignment following that which makes him stand out.

Darth Kruhl is charged with assassinating the exiled Emperor Roan Fel who at this point is the second most powerful being in the galaxy behind Darth Krayt. (Politically, not in terms of force use, though Fel was definitely no push over) After infiltrating the heavily fortified Imperial capital of Bastion Kruhl finds Fel meditating in his garden when he springs to attack. Unfortunately Fel was waiting for such an assassin. Kruhl fights valiantly, nearly killing the Emperor at one point, even without a lightsaber. But Fel finally gains the upper hand finishing Kruhl off with a blaster bolt to the guts.

The fight itself was one of the best in the Legacy comics, like a fight between two lone samurai in a bamboo thicket. Many of the fights in Legacy involve groups of force users and tons of limbs and heads flying to and fro, but this one felt more personal and the stakes were quite high. Kruhl more than likely would have never left the planet alive after killing Roan Fel but would have been regarded very highly by his Sith bretheren for sacrificing himself to eliminate Darth Krayt’s competition to the throne. Even failing in his mission I have to say… that Sith had balls.

Stay tuned next week for another installment of Know Your Sith!

The Trailer for Red Dawn is Online (Finally)!!

Back in 2009, 1984’s Red Dawn was remade but has remained out of our reach because of MGM’s bullshit money troubles. This delayed movies in the pipeline such as The Hobbit, Skyfall, Robocop, and even Cabin in the Woods so there were many projects that were sidelined in both the development and distribution stage. Luckily, the time has finally come for the Wolverines to rise as we finally get to see the release of the trailer into the internet!

The remake was filmed primarily in my home state of Michigan, which is exciting! Since it was filmed back in 2009, it’s like the casting director struck at rich as they got stars before they hit it big such as Chris Hemsworth, obviously most recently in Thor and The AvengersJosh Hutcherson also starred before he hit the jackpot in The Hunger Games. Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights), Connor Cruise (Seven Pounds, Being Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman’s Son), Isabel Lucas (Transformers 2, The Immortals), and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Watchmen, The Losers and Magic City) also get some screen time in the long-awaited remake. This time, it looks like the North Koreans are being dicks instead of the Russians although initially it was the Chinese that was going invade the United States but it was changed in the last year so we didn’t have to piss China off when the film was released over there. But enough talking, watch the trailer below!

Conveyors of Common Sense…

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