WWE Releases: A Bunch of Losers

I know this is going to break hearts aplenty, but the WWE has released some of your favorite wrestlers! Just kidding! But seriously they released a few wrestlers, but if you had these jokes up on your list of favorites then you have some major problems. WWE didn’t have a very good 2nd quarter so that must mean they made 20 billion instead of 30 billion. Those poor executives. So let’s get started.

Chris Masters

This guy was good for about two matches per year and then flexing his oiled up man tits repeatedly but other than that Chris Masters was under utilized like crazy. It had honestly been so long since he’d been relegated to being a member of the joke squad that I can’t remember him being a legit competitor ever. That’s a shame because the guy is clearly no slouch in the fitness area and when he did wrestle he showed a little promise. Apparently people like Daniel Bryan are just better than him… right.

David Hart Smith

I was never much impressed with David Smith. Other than him being the son of the British Bulldog he wasn’t very impressive except in the height area, but we all know that height doesn’t get you very far in the WWE unless you act like an undead guy or have hands the size of basketballs. (Big Show) I enjoyed him in Tag Team competition with Tyson Kid, but it seemed like the Raw writers didn’t want to have their reign continue very long. Either way, that picture with Pee Wee was probably his death knell, so good luck in your future endeavors Mr. Smith.

Vladamir Kozlov

Things went bad for Vlad when he started participating in Dance Offs and teaming up with Santino Morella, who is of course the biggest joke of all. Kozlov worked better as the crazy heel who wasn’t afraid of anyone and tore through the competition. I suppose a schtick like that can’t last forever though and I can’t say it’s surprising to see him slip into obscurity.

Melina

I guess it’s not a huge loss when a Diva goes, because lord knows the writers on both shows constantly let them fall by the wayside. But I guess if one had to go it might as well be Melina. Honestly I can’t say much about her. Her entrance music is atrocious, her demeanor is cheesy and her wrestling ability isn’t much to talk of. I know Kelly Kelly is just a pretty face, but that is one pretty face worth keeping around. So goodbye to Melina and her enormously fake boobs.

So that’s a wrap for the excess fat that was liposuction-ed out of the WWE for now. I know there are plenty of others that should have been canned, including scum like Daniel Bryan, Santino and the Miz. But I guess we’ll have to bear with them until the next culling of superstars.

One thought on “WWE Releases: A Bunch of Losers”

  1. I would love to know how hornswoggle is a better talent than Chris Masters. The Talent dept. is a joke, and honestly man I didn’t think Chris Masters was that bad. He was bad because they never gave him a chance after his stupid masterlock challenges that he use to do. I think they did miss out there, maybe not on a “Wrestle Mania” caliber wrestler, but on a solid performer. Heres my list of those they missed:
    Hornswoggle
    The great Kahli
    Santino
    Sin Cara (Yes I feel that he isn’t that good)

    Like

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