The Dark Knight Rises: New Footage is Still Awesome, Despite MTV

The MTV Movie Awards, which were at least fun when I was younger, have become disgusting examples of what’s wrong with today’s society. Constantly rewarding stupidity over merit and making celebrities out of total tools. They even went so far as to award their ‘prestigious’ BEST MOVIE trophy to Twilight: Breaking Dawn…because they are stupid. That or MTV is confused about the meaning of the word ‘Best’.  To be honest, almost every show on MTV is that way – terrible. Occasionally though, you get a nugget of ‘awesome’ that will drop through. The most recent of these nuggets is the footage shown at the so-called “Award Show’ of the upcoming sure-to-be-a-masterpiece The Dark Knight Rises.

Apparently, as I just learned, it has been taken down, but you can watch the intro (and this one too) with Bale, Levitt, and Oldman.

And so this click isn’t a total waste for you, here are some new pics…

New Trailer For “Starship Troopers: Invasion”

Starship Troopers has always been a polarizing franchise. The original Heinlein novel split readers down to whether or not it was pro or anti-fascism, or even a pro or anti-war novel. Even the titular 1997 adaptation saw its fair share of criticism for being mindless, overly gory and disrespectful of its source material, and alternatively being a cleverly made satire of fascism and militaristic jingoism disguised as a brainless action movie. (This years Battleship accomplishes the same feat, despite its source material being a damned board game.) Over the years however, Starship Troopers has developed into its own franchise, with it’s own set of sequels, albeit terrible ones. It was only a matter of time until someone decided to try to reclaim the franchise, and bring it back from straight to DVD hell in one way or another, and surprisingly, it has, this time in CGI form.

Wow. CGI Denise Richards looks different. Better? You decide.

That’s right, the film is being made entirely in CGI animation, by anime director Shinji Aramaki, who is known for his designs for mechs and powered exoskeletons for many anime series. This should ring a bell for fans of the novel, as the mechanized suits played a substantial role in the novel, and were unseen in the original film. However, the trailer indicates that it seems to directly pick it’s continuity from the first film, ignores it’s awful sequels, and furthers the direction of the original characters story, rather than reinterpreting and/or re-imagining a new adaptation of the book entirely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NJAImFLZog

It’s like a feature length videogame cutscene you can’t play!

The trailer shows Johnny Rico, who is now a battle hardened, eyepatch wearin’ , scarred roughneck, ready to rumble and barking out orders. We also see brief clips of soldiers attacking the bugs, ships flying, and a glimpse of the powered suits that the novel featured. The actual plot of the film takes place 10 years after the events of the Starship Troopers, and we see that Carl Jenkins, originally played by Neil Patrick Harris, has taken the Starship John A. Warden on a secret mission, and of course, ends up going missing. This leads to Rico sending off the Troopers on a rescue mission, where they’ll surely uncover new, horrifying and awesome bugs to kill. Also returning, is the character of Carmen, who was previously played by Denise Richards, and is now going to be joining Rico on the rescue mission, and possibly rekindling whatever broken romance she had with Rico from the first film.

How could you not love that face?

Some might think CGi is a strange direction to take for a sequel, but it’s not without precedent, as there was a mostly forgotten, and short lived CGI television series, called Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles, that skewed much closer in tone to the novel, than the film itself. However, this film seems to preserve the satirical spirit of the original film, with Troopers spouting out famous one liners, “C’mon you apes! You wanna live forever!”,  and even keeping the famously propagandistic  line, “Would you like to know more?”.

Behold! Paranormally gifted Col. Carl Jenkins! Previously played by Neil Patrick Harris! HAIL!

WIll they survive? Will they stop the bug menace once and for all? Will they make an entertaining and watchable film? It remains to be seen, as no hard release date has yet been confirmed, just a “Summer 2012”.  We’ll inform you as soon as there is more info, because we’re all sure that you Would Like To Know More!

HBO’s Game of Thrones: 210 – ‘Valar Morghulis’


The episode opens with an interesting scene showing Tyrion recovering from his battle wound to the face. After some passive aggressive words exchanged between him and Maester Pycelle, Pycelle leaves Tyrion a golden coin, claiming it’s for “his trouble”, in a very clear insult typical of the shifty Maester. It was an interesting exchange and builds upon the very shaky relationship the two have with eachother. We’re then taken to the royal throne room, with Joffrey proclaiming Tywin, his grandfather the newly appointed Hand of The King, and giving Lord Baelish aka Littlefinger, dominion over castle Harrenhal. After some quick words about the Tyrell’s assistance in the battle of Blackwater, Joffrey mulls over wedding Margaery Tyrell, claiming some BS about keeping “holy vows” to Sansa. It takes the words of Maester Pycelle, the people in the throne room, and Margaery herself insisting Sansa is not fit to be wed, for him to finally agree to relinquish his vows to Sansa. Of course, nobody is happier about this than Sansa, who walks away, and for the first time in a while, begins to smile. It’s interrupted of course, by Lord Baelish, who tells her of his love and fondness for her mother Catelyn, and claims he can help her escape this place and get home. Sansa tries to lie and claim this is her home, but L to the B sees right through it, and calls her on it.

Oh thank the Seven I-Oh crap.

Next is a scene with Ros the Wonder Whore, who gives us our mandatory T&A for the episode, and takes in a guest who turns out to be Varys, The Spider. She tries to make advances on him, thinking him another client and ends up discovering his identity by feeling his package. Or lack thereof. Ahem. Varys is there to get information on Lord Baelish, and recruits her as one of his “little birds.” Many threads are being tied up for the next season this episode, and we switch scenes yet again to Brienne and Jaime, who are now travelling together, as they come across three hanging bodies. Quickly they are approached by three goons, who start asking questions about the identity of Brienne’s captive. Soon one recognizes the Jaime as the Kingslayer, and raises his steel against Brienne. An insanely poor choice on his part, as she quickly dispatches two, and stabs the last in the groin, very sloooowwly sliding the sword deeper into him, as every male watching the show groans in pain. Another scene shift, and Robb is arguing with his mother about upholding his promise to marry one of the Frey women, as he promised in season 1. A few quick words, and we cut to Stannis Baratheon, pondering his defeat with Melisandre in tow. They argue over the point of their loss, until her words anger him, and begins to start choking her, claiming her to give him proof of her god’s will, questioning his own decisions. She tells him that he is her god, and has him look into the flames burning in their hearth. She asks him if he sees himself in the flames, as her king. Eventually, he does.

Back to Theon, and we get him pondering what to do in his predicament with holding Winterfell. With Robbs bannermen, led by Roose Bolton’s bastard, he faces almost certain death with his measly twenty Iron Men.  Maester Luwin advises him to retreat, head north to the wall and take the black. Theon decides he’s too far gone, and begins rallying his men with a stirring speech. His battle cry is interrupted however, by the lance of one of his own men, and they black bag him, and carry him off,, but not before stabbing Maester Luwin in the gut with a spear, leaving him for dead. Returning to Tyrion in his room, we find him conversing with Varys. Varys informs Tyrion of the dire circumstances he is in, as all who were loyal to him previously are either paid off, relieved of duty, or in the case of Varys, abandoning him. There is one exception, and Shae comes into the room, and reminds Tyrion of how much she loves him, and accepts him, injury, dwarfism and all completely. They share a tender embrace. It’s a touching moment, and really shows the real connection the two share, as respective outcasts of their own worlds. We cut to Robb Stark and Jeyne Westerling Talisa getting married, like idiot fools, Freys be damned.

That’s it Shae, lick that scar.

Finally we see Daenarys, who is outside the House Of The Undying, ready to claim her dragons. She approaches the House, which is actually a tower, and mystically enters, unseen by Jorah who was just behind her. Upon entering, she finds herself in the dark and follows the sounds of her dragons screeching for her. We cut yet again (a LOT of story is covered in this episode), this time to Arya. She is travelling with Hot Pie and Gendry, when she spots Jaqen H’Ghar watching them. She confronts him, and asks him questions about himself, and he reveals that he is a “Faceless Man” from Braavos. He tells her he can take her there, and teach her in the ways of killing, like him. She reluctantly denies his proposal, saying she must find her family. Jaqen laments her decision, but offers her a coin, saying if she ever needs his help, she must only present it to any Braavosi man, and say the words “Valar Morghulis.” He then tells her Jaqen is dead, and literally changes his face, and bids her farewell. Jaqen is a mysterious one indeed.

See what I did there?

We cut to Bran, being held by Hodor, walking through the smoldering remains of Winterfell. They find Maester Luwin bleeding out, sitting under a godswood. He tells them to journey north, to find Jon Snow, as he is the only relative of theirs they know the exact location of, as anywhere in the south is too dangerous. He tells Osha to protect them, and asks for a mercy killing. She provides it for him, and Osha, Bran, Hodor, Rickon and their direwolves begin the trek north. Back to Dany, we see her walking through hallways, still following the cries of her dragons, until she walks into a room with many doors. She enters one and finds inside is an ashy, lifeless version of the Iron Throne room in ruins. She follows the sound of her dragons still, and ventures “outside” into a snowy wasteland, with only a hut off in the distance. Inside the hut sits… Khal Drogo. Holding their unborn child. They speak to each other, each questioning if what they see and experience is real. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, and if you didn’t at least well up a little bit after they kiss, you’re dead inside. Dead.

I cried like a little bitch.

She leaves the hut, and is back in the room with many doors. This time, her dragons are chained to a pedestal. Pyat Pree appears, and using his strange illusive powers, chains her to the wall, meaning to keep her and her dragons as prisoners. Dany, in a moment of pure badassness, orders her dragons to burn him alive with a single word: “Dracarys.” The dragons promptly scorch him, and the chains binding them fall to dust, revealing themselves for the illusions they were. I’m running out of ways to say a scene changes, but it does, again. This time to Jon and Qhorin, who are bound and are being led by the wildlings. Qhorin follows through with his plan to make Jon look as if he is no longer loyal to the Night’s Watch, and begins dueling him. Jon defends himself, and ends up killing Qhorin, and gaining the trust of the wildlings in turn. Ygritte looks at Jon, and leads him to meet the King Beyond The Wall, while Qhorin’s body is burnt by the wildlings to keep him from coming back.

Back to Daenarys, her blood rider takes the key off a sleeping Xaro Xoan Daxo’s neck, and uses it to open his famed vault. They open it, and reveal that nothing was inside it the entire time, as he was simply using her to become king of Qarth all along. She thanks him for the lesson he has taught her, and locks him and her former hand maiden (who was sleeping with him), inside the vault. They then proceed to loot Daxo’s house, in true Dothraki fashion. Hell hath no fury like a scorned Targaryen.

HADOUKEN!

The last scene, shows Samwell, Dolorous Edd and Brenn digging up different kinds of poo to burn, in order to keep warm. They then hear a blast of the foghorn from the wall. One for riders returning. Then they hear another. Two for wildlings attacking. Finally, a third blast. Whitewalkers. Edd and Brenn run off in terror, leaving behind the portly and slow Samwell. He cries after them, but becomes enveloped in an ethereal snow that comes seemingly from nowhere. He runs to take cover behind a rock, and slowly approaching, we see the first of many, many wights (zombies). He whimpers as an undead horse clops up besides him, and gazes upwards to see a full-fledged Whitewalker. It eyes him, and raises its spear, and lets loose an inhuman and terrifying howl, as thousands of wights, and dozens more Whitewalkers follow, all leading towards the Wall.

‘Sup bro.

Holy crap. So yeah, a pretty packed episode, that did as well as it could with as many characters and stories it had to juggle. The additions to the story were welcome, and the story certainly seems to be ramping up in an extremely exciting way. I’m sure many viewers will have questions left unanswered, but so did many readers who had to wait for book three. This is how you do a “The shit is hitting the fan ’cause ZOMBIES” ending perfectly. Take note Walking Dead writers, all you have to do is make your show and it’s characters interesting and likeable, and you can have season endings that actually have an impact. Only a year until season 3 folks!

It’s only a model…

BOOK vs. TELEVISION: A Clash Of Kings/Game Of Thrones: S2 [Part 1]

The second season of Game Of Thrones has ended, and like many of the fans of the novels out there, I am absolutely brimming with excitement for the next season, because it will finally get to many of the  character developments fans of the series have been waiting to see depicted for a long time. Not to mention the glorious shaudenfreude we feel as we watch our non-book-reading friends and family become stunned and shocked at the twists and turns the story takes. There’s also the curious case of spending each episode guessing what will end up like what, who will do this like they did, or how this one thing looked in my head when I read it and holy-crap-that’s-just-what-I-imagined, or OH WOW THAT’S DIFFERENT DO I HATE IT? Of course it goes without saying, that for any non-book reading, solely show watching Game Of Thrones fans, that this might contain SPOILERS for future seasons, as talking about the books adaptation inevitably leads to talking about further character development, and future scenes yet to be filmed.

Once again, If you’ve not read the books, STOP READING HERE!

Now forgive me, because I’m doing a lot of this based off memory, as I’m currently wading through A Feast For Crows, and haven’t read A Clash Of Kings in a few months or so, and I’ve watched most of the new season’s episodes only twice. I’ll be going on a loosely episode by episode basis, for if I were to literally list every single difference this would turn into an absurdly long wiki article, so there’s a strong chance I might miss a detail here or there, and if I have, feel free to comment and call me a horrible human being. It’s what the internet is for.

Episode 1: The North Remembers.

To me, the most immediate change was that the episode clearly is reversing the order of events, showing Maester Cressen trying his assassination attempt on Melisandre after the symbolic burning of The Seven. The prologue in the book served to show how new, unique and alien Melisandre was, especially when his attempt on her life fails, and results in his own death. It portrays her as a very dark enigma, and a mystery to the reader early on. Granted the show did this as well, but the scenes were switched, and Stannis still comes off as an interesting new character, determined to take what he truly feels is his by right, blood relations be damned. We also meet Davos Seaworth for the first time, who despite only having 3 POV chapters in CoK, has arguably the three most important chapters in the book, as he witnesses directly many of the crucial events that shape the newly divided Westeros. In this manner, I’m a bit saddened that non-book readers don’t really have much of an idea of Davos, or who he even is in some cases, as he was one of my favorite characters from the book. Other smaller changes include the exclusion of Jojen and Meera Reed, who have effectively been replaced by Osha in the series. In the book, Jojen and Meera are two young adults who pledge to House Stark, and begin coaching Bran on his dreams, and what they truly mean.

Episode 2: The Night Lands.

2x02-The-Night-Lands-game-of-thrones

The conversation between Cersei and Tyrion in the novel, touches on quite a few other subjects involving the tainting of King Roberts wine, the unceremonious firing of Ser Berristan and most notably touches on the fact that Kings Landing is beginning to starve since all trade routes are closed due to the war. The series eventually shows the fallout of the people becoming restless in a later episode, but not here. Meanwhile, at the Iron Islands, Theon gets groovy with some awful woman who begs to be his salt wife, and then proceeds to put his whole foot entirely in his mouth, and really lecherously hits on and gropes his unbeknownst to him at the time, sister. The series showed this, but boy howdy was it far, far worse in the book, as book Theon is quite a bit more of a bastard than show Theon. Then of course, there’s Daenerys Targaryen, who is trapped wandering the Red Waste, desperately searching for help with her now very tiny Khalasar. The show added the scene with one of her scout’s horses returning carrying it’s riders head. In the book, her dragons are also  growing larger, as she notices they’ll only grow after eating cooked meat, whereas in the show, they’re still just above lizard sized.  Arya’s story is also greatly sped up in pace in the show, as large sections of character development are skipped over, to get to the interesting scenes of interaction between her and Gendry. Jon’s story is mostly the same, with some exposition, mood setting and further character development excised.

Episode 3: What Is Dead May Never Die.

got20304This is where the show takes a great leap forward, and just cuts out a rather boring and tedious subplot from the book concerning Shae and Tyrion. Throughout the book he is determined to hide her, and goes to great lengths to secure her safety, first hiding her in a mansion, then as a maid to a Red Keep noblewoman, then in A Storm of Swords, finally appoints her as Sansa’s maid, as at that time he is wed to Sansa, and it is the most reasonable way to keep her close. The show does us all a favor and just skips to Shae being Sansa’s maid.  There’s also a great, entirely new scene between Cersei and Littlefinger, that shows the dynamics of power between the two, and portrays Cersei in a new and powerful light, but conversely also plays Littlefinger as a bit stupid and caught off guard. One aspect of the books that’s been almost entirely ignored up until now, is Bran’s dreams, and their significance. The show plays it far more subtle, which I can guess is to not alienate casual viewers from being thrown by one fantasy element too many, too quickly. Then there’s Renly, who in the book, is arguably not even gay (although Rainbow Guard? Cmon.), where show Renly is closeted as hell. This culminates in Margaery Tyrell trying to seduce Renly, then suggesting an incestuous three-way between herself, Renly and her brother, Ser Loras. Not a bad addition, as the actress who plays Margaery is gorgeous, has a nice rack, and plays her part of a conniving wannabe queen very well. Back at the Iron Islands, Show Theon is a much more sympathetic character, as he is much more troubled by the decision to warn Robb of his fathers impending attack on Winterfell, and even has a cool scene where he calls out his father for giving him up as hostage to the Starks years ago. It goes a long way to make Theon’s eventual betrayal all the more heartbreaking. Arya gets a new scene with Yoren, who tells her his own personal story of revenge, detailing how every night he spent recanting the name of those who had wronged him, which sets up Arya’s own list of names, which foreshadows Arya making her own long list of enemies to obsess over nightly. This scene wasn’t in the book, but was a great addition that gave character depth to both Yoren and Arya. Another small but notable change is that the Lannister bannermen in the book were led by Ser Gregor Clegane, who kills Lommy and takes Aryas’s group hostage with them. The show had Ser Amory Lorch do this instead, and be tricked into thinking that Lommy was Gendry, and that they had already killed the man they were looking for. This change while seemingly small, leads to one of the bigger divergences from the book, as Arya’s story becomes fairly different, as we’ll see in later episodes.