Boardwalk Empire: 3.06 – “Ging Gang Goolie”

So last week was quite the action packed episode. More so the last fiveish minutes. We were reminded that there was a political struggle going on still with the Senate hearing thing. Margaret is about fresh out of patience with Nucky. The same Nucky who is bound and determined to be Billie Kent’s savior even though she neither needs, nor wants one. Rothstein is not a man to be messed with, at all. And Gyp’s a freak; a freak who apparently has nine lives.

This week? Ugh, where to begin.

Oh how about with thepoint in the show I nearly threw something at my TV? Seriously Gillian? What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, really? REALLY?

Run Roger McAllister of Evansville, Indiana… RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read my lips woman: You. Need. Psychiatric. Help.  There’s really no other words for this crap. Just blech. Dear writers, I implore you, find a way to kill her off. Please. I’ll be your best friend.

I’m sort of torn on the political/legal stuff. On one hand, it’s entertaining in a “you have to keep up with the story” kind of way. But on the other hand, I’ve watched this show from the beginning and am a rather intelligent being, but damn if I can’t keep everyone straight there. Who is paying who? Who is double crossing who? Answer: Means is double crossing Remus. Actually, Means is double crossing anyone if given the right amount of money. What a guy.

I stick with it because even though I can’t remember where they are, time wise, right now, I’m fairly certain President Harding is going to leave on his cross country trip and subsequently die here soon. Not going to lie, I’m really looking forward to seeing if the writers have Harding die of a heart attack or if they are going to go into the conspiracy theory side of things.

Best part of all is Nucky’s run in with the law (thank you Harry Daugherty) when he went to pay his $5 fee. Of course, he doesn’t have anything less than a hundred! Who do these people think he is? Some schlub making five cases of whiskey in his basement?  Come on now, let’s not be foolish.

I take it back, while the $5 thing was amusing, best part of all that was that Esther Randolph has returned! A little sad given that she’s now stuck in night court after completely shitting the bed on the Nucky thing. But hey, what’s this? Nucky wants to join forces with Ms. Randolph, Esq.? Nothing bad could come of this. I’m pretty sure of it.

Teddy Thompson. I’m calling it now, this kid is going to grow up and become a serial killer. Just a feeling I have. He carries around kerosene and matches, he fakes having polio when he knows his mom is freaking out about it due to his sister lying in the hospital stricken with polio. He sleeps with a knife under his pillow. Teddy is one dead cat away from appearing on an episode of Criminal Minds.

If I had the time, I’d go back and watch every episode to see how many times Margaret answered the phone and got good news. Homegirl (I apologize) needs to stop answering the phone. This week’s phone call involved the four words no one ever wants to hear; “We need to talk”.

What were you wanting to talk about Margaret?

This?

Or maybe this?

Ah, screw all that. I’m sure you just wanted to talk about these guys who, trivia moment, were like the Beanie Babies of their time. I hope I live long enough to see a high school with a Beanie Baby mascot.

So Margaret knows about “we need to talk” but apparently she’s not familiar with “people with bad marriages to a bootlegging gangster probably shouldn’t go about schtupping the previously mentioned gangster’s right hand man in the greenhouse with it’s glass walls”. Just a thought.

For me, the entire episode might as well have consisted of horses dancing to Lady Gaga because it was nothing compared to the return of Richard Harrow!

Awww, young(er) Richard had a puppy. I just want to hug and him kiss and snuggle with his beautiful face. I’m talking about the dog.

Richard was the best part of the night for many reasons. One; he’s been missing for a disturbingly long time. Two; he’s just fabulous. Three- he might have gone and gotten himself a girl. How cute is he?

This could be the perfect start to a relationship. You don’t have to worry about meeting her dad because you already helped his drunken ass out of a bar after he got the crap beat out of him in a brawl. Poets write of things like this.

I’m hoping Julia Sagorski sticks around because she busted out one of my favorite idioms, “don’t take any wooden nickels“, which is basically a cool way of saying “hey, be careful”.

Given how slow and boring and bad this episode was, I’m hoping it’s just setting up for some more entertaining ones down the pike. There was no Chicago, no New York (not really, Lucky trying to peddle dope in Gillian’s whorehouse doesn’t count), and no Chalky White. If there hadn’t been the significant showing of Richard Harrow, this episode would have been ranked closer to two bears rather than the three and a half I’m going with.

I’ll leave you with this. There is no way on earth this was not intentional. No way at all.

On to next week!

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