Knock Off Corner: Fifty Shades of Whaaaat?

Knock Off Corner: Fifty Shades of Whaaaaat?

Fifty Shades of Grey has been storming the book charts, with pretty much every one (aside from me, I still have my copy of The Story of O to read before I read any of these) giving it a sneaky peek and looking for the rude bits. I hear that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and with this book, there has been a fair amount of imitation. Much like whenever anything gets big and famous, there will always be the people that want to ride that bandwagon for all its worth.

Normally these entrepreneurs get in pretty quick, but with this book it seems a lot of people were slow on the uptake, meaning a massive glut of very similar looking books all came out at once, when most people were already bored of reading about people being abused with ties and the like. Still it is fun to see what got put out, so here is a list of my favorites. All the quotes are courtesy of Amazon.co.uk which has a wide range of these little beauties, far more than I can cover here.

knock off fifty shades haven of obediance

[box_dark]You’ve devoured Fifty Shades . . . Now it’s time to lose yourself in the Haven of Obedience

Twenty-something Londoner Natalie Bowen is envied by many, but her personal life is a disaster. Men can’t cope with her career success and Natalie thinks she’ll never find real happiness.

Then she hears about an exclusive weekend retreat called The Haven, a place that specialises in introducing you to pleasures you could never have imagined. Shocked at the idea, but unable to resist finding out more, Natalie decides it’s time to put her fears behind her.

Once at The Haven, Natalie meets the enigmatic and disciplined Simon, a man who is used to getting what he wants. And Natalie may very well have met her match . . .[/box_dark]

Best thing about this cover has got to be the tag line “Devoured Fifty Shades”, that’s some serious devotion to a book when you want to absorb it so bad, you shove it down your digestive tract! You will notice that all these books have the classic black background with a bizarre item on the front. In this case it is a weird sheet, similar to the kind that Michael Myers would hide behind in the Halloween flicks. I’m guessing some one gets tied up in it though.

knock off fifty shades Bared to you

[box_dark]Bared to You by Sylvia Day is the first in the Crossfire trilogy featuring Gideon and Eva, two wounded souls who come together in an explosion of lust and passion as intoxicating as it is devastating – the perfect read for fans of bestselling erotic romance Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James.[/box_dark]

Let’s just forget the line that says explosion of lust, because that puts very weird visuals in my head. This book goes for the killer high heel approach, gold tipped too so you know it’s a classy shoe. I dread to think what that shoe gets up too in this book, but it makes my eyes wince just thinking about it.

knock off ffity shades the bride stripped bare

[box_dark]For fans of Fifty Shades of Grey – the international bestseller – an explosive novel of sex, secrecy and escape.

‘You’ve never been in control, until now; you’ve never, before, had exactly what you want…The lights turned off. A touch that’s gentle, slow, provocative, that builds you up, that makes you want it too much…’

Imagine on honeymoon, lulled by sultry heat and the promise of a lifetime’s happiness, you discover a shocking secret about your husband. But instead of destroying you, the knowledge brings freedom; the freedom to bare your soul, explore your deepest desires and discover what you really want.

THE BRIDE STRIPPED BARE is the story of a passionate sexual awakening, as erotic as it is dangerous.[/box_dark]

More than any other this has the most explicit title and even has a little quote to get you absorbed in the book. The locket gleaming out from the distance makes this one seem a little bit more sinister than the rest, but when you see the first sleeve this book was released under it actually seems like quite a nice little read.

knock off ffity shades the bride stripped bare two

[Ed. Note – Or not.]

knock off ffity shades sanctuary

[box_dark]Sensual, seductive and deeply moving—If you liked the Fifty Shades trilogy, you’ll fall in love with Sanctuary.

From the Author of The Dark Garden comes another scorching BDSM romance.

When her best friend takes her to a BDSM club in San Francisco Devin Delaney meets the beautiful, mysterious and commanding Shaye Vincent. The wealthy, enigmatic man takes her on a journey into the darker side of sex, and it’s addictive. He’s addictive.

At Sanctuary Devin’s kinkiest fantasies—and her emotions—shift into overdrive. But she’ll have to face old demons in order to give up control, and Shaye will have to walk through his own darkness. Can pain and desire bring them together? Or will it tear them apart?[/box_dark]

Wow. This front cover leads little to the imagination. There are only so many uses for a whip and unless you are Indiana Jones fighting the Nazis, they are normally on the seedy side. How prominent the whip is in this book and what it is used for I have no idea. What we really need to ask ourselves is this; does pain and pleasure ever really bring anyone together? Probably not.

knock off ffity shades jayne eyre

[box_dark]When an eager and curious Jane Eyre arrives at Thornfield house her sexual desires are instantly awakened. Who is the enigmatic Rochester whom she instantly feels attracted to, what are the strange and yet captivating noises coming from the attic, and why does the very air she breathe feel heavy with passion?

Only one thing Is certain. Jane Eyre may have arrived at Thornfield an unfulfilled and tentative woman, but she will leave a very different person . . .[/box_dark]

Just when you thought they had milked the mash up genre for all its worth they bring this out, which made me howl with laughter when I first saw it. The fact that they have taken a piece of British literature history and essentially made it dirty for the masses is either a disgusting abuse of writing talent or pure genius. I am still not sure which. My knowledge of Emily Bronte books is quite slim, but my understanding was that these books were meant to be about people being chivalrous and full of restrained sexual desire and cups of tea. This re-working seems to go and make all that redundant. Still pretty funny to see.

There is a heck of a lot more of these and time is limited, so covering them all will be impossible at this stage. But you never know, if you liked Fifty Shades of Grey you may get a kick out of these books and if you hated the book then these, if nothing else will make you laugh out load (or wonder if humanity is actually devolving by reading stuff like this). I think to each their own at the end of the day, the bits I read of the book did nothing for me, but it obviously did something for someone. At least, I hope it did as there is a boat load more similarly themed books to get through now! Let us end on a high with this, a cover that speaks a thousand words!

knock offs fifty shades earl grey

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