So the trailer for Horrible Bosses is out and my boss needed an excuse to post the above picture
Admittedly, a bit underwhelmed by the trailer, as it seems a lot more formulaic in terms of comedies. But then I thought about Kevin Spacey being a douche, Jennifer Aniston fellating foods, and a Colin Farrell combover. I’m still willing to get a bit excited for it, because it just looks fun.
And Charlie Day just needs more play, right?
Although not to go back and forth between good and bad, I just saw Brett Ratner is a producer. NOOOOO!!!!! YOU KILLED CYCLOPS!!! HOW DARE YOU WORK AGAIN!!!!
If I thought that Real Steel looked pretty horrible before, paint me excited after this latest trailer release. It revealed a little more story and more importantly a lot more robots beating the crap out of each other. And all these robots do is beat the crap out of each other, not like the Transformers who talk then fight and then talk some more. The scenes we see in here are total robot slug-fests, and they look sweet.
The movie stars Hugh Jackman as a retired ex-boxer in a world where the fights now happen between robots in the ring. I know if that happened right now I’d love that a lot more than watching these crappy boxing matches we are served nowadays and I absolutely refuse to get into UFC. The movie also stars Evangeline Lilly whom I haven’t seen a trace of since Lost, so that’s a plus. There is also child actor, Dakota Goyo, who is not the typical annoying variety of child actor. He also has one small part from a recent hit under his belt in the form of Thor, where he played the young version of the God of Thunder himself. But enough of my babbling, check out the trailer:
I’ll be there in October to see how this movie pans out. I’ve always enjoyed Hugh Jackman, even when he was in a movie that destroyed Wolverine for me, but he’ll have the chance to turn it around in the sequel. Real Steel will have to hold us over until then.
For those of you who don’t know about everyone else, but I’m so ready for another Final Destination movie. Seriously, I laughed at more in the third and fourth sequels than during most recent comedies. I know that may sound sick, but the deaths are so ridiculous in the movies that it’s really hard not to. These are deaths befitting Looney Toons characters not real people.
Granted, the movies should probably be strictly straight to DVD at this point but if you have a whole bunch of idiots (this guy!) willing to shell out ten bucks a ticket for some cheap laughs in shitty 3D, then they’ll still be theater releases. Check out the trailer below:
I honestly thought that they were trying to make the movie a little on the scary-serious side but there was no such luck once you seen the guy on the acupuncture bed fall off onto the floor. It looked really God awful. But hey! Tony Todd is back!
“Hurry! We have to get this stupid movie over with!”
Regardless of it’s levels of suckiness, if me and about six friends can all get together and go see it so we can be the only ones in the theater laughing: I’m all in! Please comment below on this monstrosity of the cinema!
What Ever Happened to Original Summer Movies? It’s Okay, I Made a Solid List For You to Watch…
When I volunteered to do an article about summer movies, I felt right at home. Ever since we were in high school, Doc Kronner and I would set up movie events in the summer where we would gather scores of friends together to partake in the best and worst movies of the season. But they were event movies for a reason, we would always debate afterwards whether one movie was better than the other, how much it impressed us or let us down. It was great times to be had. Needless to say, I had my list of ten movies that I was looking forward to. A solid ten in my mind that I could get myself excited about.
Then I got the bomb dropped on me. I had to do the article that involved no sequels and no comic book movies. That kind of made me blow up my list and start from scratch. The tent pole pictures of the summer were all comic book movies or sequels. I actually had to research what was coming out this summer in order to write this article. However, I’m glad it worked out this way, because I think I have some stuff you guys need to check out. Not because it has a built-in fan base, but because it just looks damn interesting and it’s about time we covered something original for the summer, right? So in chronological order, I have some summer movies you need to check out that are either original, or might be flying under your superhero radar.
Bridesmaids (May 13)
Now, I hate the marketing team that keeps begging this the female equivalent of The Hangover. It should be expected considering the massive success of the movie, but remember when The Sweetest Thing was supposed to be the solution to the R-Rated female comedy? Let’s keep the comparisons on the down low and look at the basics. You have a Kristen Wiig starring vehicle. Check. She wrote it too? Check. Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, and Ellie Kemper? Check. Aww, sweet, Jon Hamm? Yeah, sign me up. As long as the Target Lady or Gilly doesn’t show up, I’m game.
Hesher (May 13)
Okay, technically this film has been around since early 2010 doing the film circuit run, but it’s finally getting a wide release this summer and it’s definitely going to be way under the radar. It’s my job to make sure you see this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Hesher, a bad-ass troublemaker that enters the lives of T.J. (Devin Brochu – Rubber) and his dad (Rainn Wilson) after the loss of his mother. Natalie Portman is also in this movie, and since she is the only reason I would ever punt a small animal just so she can say ‘hi’ to me, that means I would be seeing this movie. But the thing is, this movie is supposed to be awesome. Even without Natalie, I think I would still be talking about how we need to see this movie. The trailer’s nice, go check it out and see why Gordon-Levitt is starting to become one of my favorite actors.
Super 8 (June 10)
This is the closest movie to an ‘event flick’ on my list. Amongst my friends, I think I was one of two that actually made it to the end of Lost after six seasons. I actually DVR’d Undercovers too, so that shows I am a J.J. Abrams slappy. However, the guy is a great storyteller, and Spielberg endorses him, so you know you are going to get a visual treat. And lens flares. Like, a million of them.
Regardless, this has Kyle Chandler(I will always carry the football for you Coach Taylor) and it has a childhood nostalgic feel to it. Abrams combined the plot of a monster/alien movie getting loose with a dramatic idea he had about growing up making Super 8 films with his friends, and getting fascinated with filmmaking. Yet another coming of age movie, but throw a little action and sci-fi in there and you get probably the movie I most look forward to on my list.
Horrible Bosses (July 8th)
Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis. C’mon now, that’s friggin’ sweet. Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston, and Kevin Spacey play the bosses they want to murder? Okay, you had me at hello. The big kicker? According to IMDB, Jaime Foxx plays a guy named ‘Motherf*cka Jones’. Done and done. I am all for seeing Charlie Day get more prominent roles seeing as it feels like we wait forever for Always Sunny.
Also, Julie Bowen is also in it, so it’s another reason to see if she yells an awkward, “HAPPY LOOK OUTAH!”
Cowboys & Aliens (July 29)
Yeah yeah, it’s based off a graphic novel. I don’t care, I need to mention this movie, which is also the second movie on my list that screams ‘event movie’. James Bond, Indiana Jones, Olive Wilde, Sam Rockwell…uhh, hello awesome cast? I remember seeing the first teaser trailer one year ago where no one knew what the movie was until the title card came. I remember people in the theater groaning asking aloud, “You cannot be serious…” I then turned to my girlfriend and she turned to me and said, “We have to see that on the title alone.” And that is why I hang out with awesome people. But I digress. It’s a high concept movie, but with Jon Favreau behind the lens I think we will be good hands. Or we better hope so because he passed on Iron Man 3 and Avengers for this. That has to count for something, right?
30 Minutes or Less (August 12)
Aziz Ansari is a genius. He’s probably the best sidekick to have in anything media related, because he steps in with the best observations or reactions to make awesome comedy. With Jesse Eisenberg playing straight man to Aziz’s manic best friend, that should be on the list. If I attempt to explain the plot, I tend to lose interest because it sounds pretty weird. Just know that Eisenberg digs Ansari’s sister, has a bomb strapped to his chest, and must rob a bank so Danny McBride can hire a hitman. See? How that’s how you set a tease.
Apparently female assassins are the new trend in Hollywood. After the excellent Hannah, starring Saorise Ronan, Zoe Saldana is set to star in the most recent action-revenge flick: Colombiana. The story follows Cataleya Restrepo, a young lady who has become a very calculating, hardcore assassin after witnessing her parents’ murder as a child. After watching forty seconds of the trailer I thought to myself -“Damn this sounds almost like the professional.” and then low and behold about 13 seconds later it informed me that the movie is indeed brought to us by the creator of Leon: The Professional, Luc Besson.
As you may not know: The Professional was an exceptional movie, so go watch it now. But if you already have then by all means watch the Colombiana trailer below:
Zoe Saldana looks excellent once again. I’m not sure if there is a clause in every movie contract she enters into where it states she will have at least one scene in her underwear, but hey; you won’t hear me complaining.
Besides looking great in undergarments, Saldana has definitely climbing her way up the top actress ladder, not to mention into the hearts of every sci-fi geek this side of Pandora since starring in Avatar and Star Trek. She’s not just a pretty face either, the girl can act and I expect quite a performance in this one. Luc Besson is getting back to the basics that put him on the map with The Professional and I for one couldn’t be happier about it.
So what did everyone think of the trailer? Even if you just want to comment on how good Zoe Saldana looks in a pair of black panties by all means please do!
After a REALLY huge let down of a teaser trailer, we are finally treated to the premiere of a full Conan The Barbarian preview! As you know the Party Crasher, AKA Stephen Lang, stars in the film as the villain Khalar Zym.
You see a few good glimpses of him, and the speaking parts paint him out to be one decadently evil dude. Rose McGowan looks pretty sinister too as Marique, some evil witch lookin’ bitch. I honestly couldn’t even tell it was her with that half balding head, because I had thought she had dropped out of the movie when was in the long development phase.
Conan himself is played by newcomer Jason Momoa, who also plays another Barbarian named Khal Drogo in the HBO fantasy series calledGame of Thrones. You may have heard of it.
And now without further adieu, the trailer in all it’s barbaric party crashing glory:
I’m all in for this one. You give me babes, blades, monsters and the Party Crasher and I’m set to go. I think any Conan fan should be psyched for this movie by watching the trailer.
There’s always the potential even a movie with a good trailer can totally suck, but you never know until you see the final product. I’m just happy the movie is finally done and ready to go after it was in development hell for nearly a decade.
I would also advise anyone familiar with the “Youraagh” Scream to listen closely at the 00:49 and 1:49 marks in the trailer because they definitely used it. What a glorious product of movie sound!
Grizzly Bomb 