Tag Archives: 30 Minutes or Less

Grizzly Review: 30 Minutes or Less

Up for a movie about one of the most ingenious criminal plans of all time? Then get in there and see 30 Minutes or Less, but I must warn you; Shut your brain off along with your cell phone before the movie starts, because it’s a long profanity laden ride. The dialogue definitely drives the movie, but not in the Tarantino way. Think about it, you’ve got Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari and Nick Swardson spouting off one liners all movie long! But come to think of it none of them were particularly memorable. Plus everything Danny McBride says is funny so it’s hard to keep track.

So I’ll give you  rundown and the things that drive our characters to the madness they get up to in the movie. First off there is Nick played by Jeese Eisenberg, who is fairly unremarkable in this movie. As Dr. Kronner said he’s basically a poor man’s Michael Cera which I’m pretty sure is impossible but you understand the comparison. Being a poor man’s anything is terrible, especially when it involves Michael Cera…. but we’re off topic so let’s continue. Nick is an out of highschool pizza delivery guy living the dream as his forbidden girlfriend Kate is about to go onto bigger and better things. Why is she forbidden? Because she is his best friend Chet’s twin sister. And she is played in all of her hotness by Dilshad Vadsaria. I’ve tried and cannot make that name sound attractive though.

Dilshad Vadsaria as Kate

Chet is played awkwardly but hilariously by Aziz Ansari. After a best friend blowout occurs between the two, Nick spills the beans about Kate and the two-part no longer friends… for now. That’s when Nick falls into the twisted web of retarded plans that belong to Dwayne. (Danny McBride)

The guys buying their rape kit… I mean bank robbing kit!

I’m going to tell you what Dwayne’s master plan is because it’s just that effin’ awesome. It won’t take away from the movie, unless you considered something this stupid as a spoiler. Dwayne and his best friend Travis (Swardson) are morons who blow up watermelons with C4 for fun and one of the old Friday the 13th movies in 3D in their spare time. Dwayne’s father, the Major (Fred Ward), is understandably hateful towards his son who is definitely over forty and a complete bum still living with him. But then Dwayne has an idea…. or one he expands on from a stripper starting. One way to get his dad’s lotto winnings is to have him killed. He then plans to have his father killed, but to pay the hitman (Michael Pena) he has to force someone to rob a bank for him. Once his father is dead and the hitman paid off then Dwayne and Travis can start a tanning salon that will be the perfect front for a prostitution ring. Way to dream big guy. Though in Dwayne’s defense the Tanny Glover is ingenious! The rest of the movie involves Nick’s quest to rob a bank and get off the exploding vest Dwayne and Travis put on him to do their bidding.

I won’t spoil anymore of the movie, but I’ll say it’s definitely worth a watch. Nothing extremely memorable but if you’ve got nothing going on during a Tuesday night and a couple friends are willing to go with you then by all means go for it. Low expectations will do wonders for you going into this one. I give it 2.5 out of 5 bears. Nothing great, but definitely worth some laughs.

2011 Summer Movie Guide: 6 Movies Absent of Capes and Numbers in the Title…Almost.

What Ever Happened to Original Summer Movies? It’s Okay, I Made a Solid List For You to Watch…

When I volunteered to do an article about summer movies, I felt right at home. Ever since we were in high school, Doc Kronner and I would set up movie events in the summer where we would gather scores of friends together to partake in the best and worst movies of the season. But they were event movies for a reason, we would always debate afterwards whether one movie was better than the other, how much it impressed us or let us down. It was great times to be had. Needless to say, I had my list of ten movies that I was looking forward to. A solid ten in my mind that I could get myself excited about.

Then I got the bomb dropped on me. I had to do the article that involved no sequels and no comic book movies. That kind of made me blow up my list and start from scratch. The tent pole pictures of the summer were all comic book movies or sequels. I actually had to research what was coming out this summer in order to write this article. However, I’m glad it worked out this way, because I think I have some stuff you guys need to check out. Not because it has a built-in fan base, but because it just looks damn interesting and it’s about time we covered something original for the summer, right? So in chronological order, I have some summer movies you need to check out that are either original, or might be flying under your superhero radar.

Bridesmaids (May 13)

Now, I hate the marketing team that keeps begging this the female equivalent of The Hangover. It should be expected considering the massive success of the movie, but remember when The Sweetest Thing was supposed to be the solution to the R-Rated female comedy? Let’s keep the comparisons on the down low and look at the basics. You have a Kristen Wiig starring vehicle. Check. She wrote it too? Check. Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, and Ellie Kemper? Check. Aww, sweet, Jon Hamm? Yeah, sign me up. As long as the Target Lady or Gilly doesn’t show up, I’m game.

Hesher (May 13)

Okay, technically this film has been around since early 2010 doing the film circuit run, but it’s finally getting a wide release this summer and it’s definitely going to be way under the radar. It’s my job to make sure you see this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Hesher, a bad-ass troublemaker that enters the lives of T.J. (Devin Brochu – Rubber) and his dad (Rainn Wilson) after the loss of his mother. Natalie Portman is also in this movie, and since she is the only reason I would ever punt a small animal just so she can say ‘hi’ to me, that means I would be seeing this movie. But the thing is, this movie is supposed to be awesome. Even without Natalie, I think I would still be talking about how we need to see this movie. The trailer’s nice, go check it out and see why Gordon-Levitt is starting to become one of my favorite actors.

Super 8 (June 10)

This is the closest movie to an ‘event flick’ on my list. Amongst my friends, I think I was one of two that actually made it to the end of Lost after six seasons. I actually DVR’d Undercovers too, so that shows I am a J.J. Abrams slappy. However, the guy is a great storyteller, and Spielberg endorses him, so you know you are going to get a visual treat. And lens flares. Like, a million of them.

Regardless, this has Kyle Chandler (I will always carry the football for you Coach Taylor) and it has a childhood nostalgic feel to it. Abrams combined the plot of a monster/alien movie getting loose with a dramatic idea he had about growing up making Super 8 films with his friends, and getting fascinated with filmmaking. Yet another coming of age movie, but throw a little action and sci-fi in there and you get probably the movie I most look forward to on my list.

Horrible Bosses (July 8th)

Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis. C’mon now, that’s friggin’ sweet. Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston, and Kevin Spacey play the bosses they want to murder? Okay, you had me at hello. The big kicker? According to IMDB, Jaime Foxx plays a guy named ‘Motherf*cka Jones’. Done and done. I am all for seeing Charlie Day get more prominent roles seeing as it feels like we wait forever for Always Sunny.

Also, Julie Bowen is also in it, so it’s another reason to see if she yells an awkward, “HAPPY LOOK OUTAH!” 

Cowboys & Aliens (July 29)

Yeah yeah, it’s based off a graphic novel. I don’t care, I need to mention this movie, which is also the second movie on my list that screams ‘event movie’. James Bond, Indiana Jones, Olive Wilde, Sam Rockwell…uhh, hello awesome cast? I remember seeing the first teaser trailer one year ago where no one knew what the movie was until the title card came. I remember people in the theater groaning asking aloud, “You cannot be serious…” I then turned to my girlfriend and she turned to me and said, “We have to see that on the title alone.” And that is why I hang out with awesome people. But I digress. It’s a high concept movie, but with Jon Favreau behind the lens I think we will be good hands. Or we better hope so because he passed on Iron Man 3 and Avengers for this. That has to count for something, right?

30 Minutes or Less (August 12)

Aziz Ansari is a genius. He’s probably the best sidekick to have in anything media related, because he steps in with the best observations or reactions to make awesome comedy. With Jesse Eisenberg playing straight man to Aziz’s manic best friend, that should be on the list. If I attempt to explain the plot, I tend to lose interest because it sounds pretty weird. Just know that Eisenberg digs Ansari’s sister, has a bomb strapped to his chest, and must rob a bank so Danny McBride can hire a hitman. See? How that’s how you set a tease.

Final Destination 5 (August 12)

Yeah, just kidding.

– Priest (May 13th – Graphic Novel)
The Troll Hunter (June 10th – Limited Release)
– The Change-Up (August 5th)
– Rise of the Planet of the Apes (August 5th – Prequel)
– Conan the Barbarian (August 19th – Reboot)