Tag Archives: Cowboys & Aliens

Grizzly Review: ‘Cowboys and Aliens’

I wanted to like this movie so much more than I did, but it just wasn’t happening. Not to say I hated it, but it definitely could have used some work. That being said, let’s get to the premise of the whole tale.

Basically this fella wakes up with no memory of…. anything really. This movie probably set the record for the most times that the phrase “I don’t know” was used. One of the things he doesn’t remember is the metal bracelet on his wrist. This bracelet, as we know from the trailers, has the awesome ability to deal out seemingly endless ass whoopings to both aliens and humans alike.

He makes his way to the town of Absolution, a little place run by the Cattle Boss Woodrow Dolarhyde and his imbecile son Percy. Percy doesn’t really run anything, he’s just a downright turd who bullies everyone in the town because of who his father is. Our mystery man as it turns out is really Jake Lonergan, a wanted man for numerous crimes. After he is taken captive by the local law enforcement is when the real fun begins, because that’s when the aliens arrive. Their attack results in Dolarhyde’s dumb ass son, and many other townspeople being taken captive by the invaders, with Jake’s bracelet activating in proximity to their ships. He manages to shoot one down and the wounded pilot is their ticket to finding the captives that were taken.

 

The group to go after the alien and their people consists primarily of Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), Jake (Daniel Craig) and Ella (Olivia Wilde) who is a rather mysterious woman with a very keen interest in Jake’s past and missing memory. The tag-along company includes a Bartender named Doc who’s wife was taken, one of Dolarhyde’s cattle hands, and a preacher. Doc is played by an always excellent Sam Rockwell, and serves as a bit of comic relief as the man not accustomed to gun play or combat. Meacham the preacher is played by veteran of the screen Clancy Brown, who is a favorite actor of mine. Aside from Pet Semetary 2, Shawshank Redemption and the HBO series Carnivàle, this was the first extended role he’s had in a movie in a very long time, and it was good to see him in it.

I won’t explain anymore about the plot of the movie, so as to not give away any spoilers. The movie suffered from the many amnesia flashback scenes that Daniel Craig had. To me, the whole amnesia aspect only served the purpose of finding an excuse to put the wrist blaster onto Daniel Craig. If you look at it from a standpoint of trying to add depth to Daniel Craig’s character Jake it failed miserably. I like Daniel Craig and think he did a great job in the movie, but his character was just a shell that I really could have cared less about.

“No my name is not Indiana F–king Jones! It’s a different hat!”

Even though Dolarhyde’s son was a complete nincompoop, I still felt more sympathetic towards him because of his past as a soldier and depth of care for his son’s well being. That being said, Harrison Ford did a great job in the role of Woodrow Dolarhyde playing his usual gruff and stern self, but this time with a twinge of crazy to it. As the movie went on I liked him more and more, especially towards the end when he starts to take charge. There was a particularly touching scene with him and a dying somebody. (You’ll know what I’m talking about when it happens in the movie.)

Hell, Even Ella’s background was far more interesting than Jake’s once you find out what it is, but like I said I won’t spoil it for you guys. Needless to say Olivia Wilde was a great actress once more, while also managing to be one of the hottest women on the planet.

Kudos to her!

The aliens themselves were kind of one dimensional, but I did enjoy them. They were definitely scary enough and kind of reminded me of the Independence Day invaders the way their set of little arms emerged from inside of their large outer body. Some people though (Doc Kronner) only thought of our little disgusting friend Kuato from Total Recall.

GO KUATO! IT’S YOUR BERFDAY!

One thing that I did not enjoy about the aliens was their main reason for being on Earth. Most people would be fine with it I guess, but I just cringed when I found out. I was actually hoping that the aliens were going to have a translator of some sort so as to have some sort of communication with the humans, but they still worked fine as the more primal type of aliens who just like to kick primitive human ass.

“Come on 007. Haven’t you ever shot a wrist blaster? It’s like this!”

I wish Jon Favreau all the luck in the world, but I’m starting to think he may have just got lucky with Iron Man. Iron Man 2 wasn’t that great of a movie, and Cowboys and Aliens was just a step above that. His movies – though shot beautifully – are suffering from something I can’t quite pinpoint. Perhaps the writers (Orci and Kurtzman) were still a bit rusty from writing the piece of shit we call a movie Revenge of the Fallen. So maybe it’s really their fault.

Either way I give the movie a 2 out of 5 bears. Great presentation and cast, but it fell flat on story and utilization of the material. It could have been so much more, because it took out all of the bad from the graphic novel aesthetically, but the story from the graphic novel would have better suited the movie.

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Hero Express – ‘The Avengers’ Teaser Trailer, Kick-Ass 2, and Another Actor Wants ‘Luke Cage’

Welcome to Hero Express, your one-stop shop through the news filled world of superhero’s in Film, TV, Video Games and whatever else floats your boat.

This is the Hero Express for July 18, 2011:

Continue reading Hero Express – ‘The Avengers’ Teaser Trailer, Kick-Ass 2, and Another Actor Wants ‘Luke Cage’

Hero Express – Captain America Trailer, Cowboys & Aliens Featurette, and Cheadle talks War Machine

Welcome to Hero Express, your one-stop shop through the news filled world of superhero’s in Film, TV, Video Games and whatever else floats your boat.

This is the Hero Express for June 24, 2011:

Continue reading Hero Express – Captain America Trailer, Cowboys & Aliens Featurette, and Cheadle talks War Machine

Posters: Captain America, Avengers, & Cowboys & Aliens

Released today were a couple of Marvel Promo posters that feature a cool look at Captain America, and our first official look at The Avengers all together. There have been a few fan made posters released, but this is the first time it’s actually coming from Marvel. Now these are both hand drawn, so it’s not as epic as the team coming together for a photo shoot or anything, but still pretty cool.

Continue reading Posters: Captain America, Avengers, & Cowboys & Aliens

2011 Summer Movie Guide: 6 Movies Absent of Capes and Numbers in the Title…Almost.

What Ever Happened to Original Summer Movies? It’s Okay, I Made a Solid List For You to Watch…

When I volunteered to do an article about summer movies, I felt right at home. Ever since we were in high school, Doc Kronner and I would set up movie events in the summer where we would gather scores of friends together to partake in the best and worst movies of the season. But they were event movies for a reason, we would always debate afterwards whether one movie was better than the other, how much it impressed us or let us down. It was great times to be had. Needless to say, I had my list of ten movies that I was looking forward to. A solid ten in my mind that I could get myself excited about.

Then I got the bomb dropped on me. I had to do the article that involved no sequels and no comic book movies. That kind of made me blow up my list and start from scratch. The tent pole pictures of the summer were all comic book movies or sequels. I actually had to research what was coming out this summer in order to write this article. However, I’m glad it worked out this way, because I think I have some stuff you guys need to check out. Not because it has a built-in fan base, but because it just looks damn interesting and it’s about time we covered something original for the summer, right? So in chronological order, I have some summer movies you need to check out that are either original, or might be flying under your superhero radar.

Bridesmaids (May 13)

Now, I hate the marketing team that keeps begging this the female equivalent of The Hangover. It should be expected considering the massive success of the movie, but remember when The Sweetest Thing was supposed to be the solution to the R-Rated female comedy? Let’s keep the comparisons on the down low and look at the basics. You have a Kristen Wiig starring vehicle. Check. She wrote it too? Check. Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, and Ellie Kemper? Check. Aww, sweet, Jon Hamm? Yeah, sign me up. As long as the Target Lady or Gilly doesn’t show up, I’m game.

Hesher (May 13)

Okay, technically this film has been around since early 2010 doing the film circuit run, but it’s finally getting a wide release this summer and it’s definitely going to be way under the radar. It’s my job to make sure you see this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Hesher, a bad-ass troublemaker that enters the lives of T.J. (Devin Brochu – Rubber) and his dad (Rainn Wilson) after the loss of his mother. Natalie Portman is also in this movie, and since she is the only reason I would ever punt a small animal just so she can say ‘hi’ to me, that means I would be seeing this movie. But the thing is, this movie is supposed to be awesome. Even without Natalie, I think I would still be talking about how we need to see this movie. The trailer’s nice, go check it out and see why Gordon-Levitt is starting to become one of my favorite actors.

Super 8 (June 10)

This is the closest movie to an ‘event flick’ on my list. Amongst my friends, I think I was one of two that actually made it to the end of Lost after six seasons. I actually DVR’d Undercovers too, so that shows I am a J.J. Abrams slappy. However, the guy is a great storyteller, and Spielberg endorses him, so you know you are going to get a visual treat. And lens flares. Like, a million of them.

Regardless, this has Kyle Chandler (I will always carry the football for you Coach Taylor) and it has a childhood nostalgic feel to it. Abrams combined the plot of a monster/alien movie getting loose with a dramatic idea he had about growing up making Super 8 films with his friends, and getting fascinated with filmmaking. Yet another coming of age movie, but throw a little action and sci-fi in there and you get probably the movie I most look forward to on my list.

Horrible Bosses (July 8th)

Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis. C’mon now, that’s friggin’ sweet. Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston, and Kevin Spacey play the bosses they want to murder? Okay, you had me at hello. The big kicker? According to IMDB, Jaime Foxx plays a guy named ‘Motherf*cka Jones’. Done and done. I am all for seeing Charlie Day get more prominent roles seeing as it feels like we wait forever for Always Sunny.

Also, Julie Bowen is also in it, so it’s another reason to see if she yells an awkward, “HAPPY LOOK OUTAH!” 

Cowboys & Aliens (July 29)

Yeah yeah, it’s based off a graphic novel. I don’t care, I need to mention this movie, which is also the second movie on my list that screams ‘event movie’. James Bond, Indiana Jones, Olive Wilde, Sam Rockwell…uhh, hello awesome cast? I remember seeing the first teaser trailer one year ago where no one knew what the movie was until the title card came. I remember people in the theater groaning asking aloud, “You cannot be serious…” I then turned to my girlfriend and she turned to me and said, “We have to see that on the title alone.” And that is why I hang out with awesome people. But I digress. It’s a high concept movie, but with Jon Favreau behind the lens I think we will be good hands. Or we better hope so because he passed on Iron Man 3 and Avengers for this. That has to count for something, right?

30 Minutes or Less (August 12)

Aziz Ansari is a genius. He’s probably the best sidekick to have in anything media related, because he steps in with the best observations or reactions to make awesome comedy. With Jesse Eisenberg playing straight man to Aziz’s manic best friend, that should be on the list. If I attempt to explain the plot, I tend to lose interest because it sounds pretty weird. Just know that Eisenberg digs Ansari’s sister, has a bomb strapped to his chest, and must rob a bank so Danny McBride can hire a hitman. See? How that’s how you set a tease.

Final Destination 5 (August 12)

Yeah, just kidding.

OTHER NOTABLES THIS SUMMER THAT COULD GO UNDER THE RADAR:
– Priest (May 13th – Graphic Novel)
The Troll Hunter (June 10th – Limited Release)
– The Change-Up (August 5th)
– Rise of the Planet of the Apes (August 5th – Prequel)
– Conan the Barbarian (August 19th – Reboot)