Tag Archives: Conan the Barbarian

Dr. Kronner’s Joy: THE EXPENDABLES 2

I was born in 1983, which means that by the time I was old enough to watch and actually understand what was happening in movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were the 2 biggest names in Hollywood. Those two were churning out some of the greatest action movies of all time, stuff like Predator, Conan, Terminator, the Rambo series, and the Rocky movies. However, they were also rolling out crap like Cobra and Red Heat too. As young as I was, I couldn’t really tell which ones were destined to be remembered as classics and which were fated to be forgotten (Raw Deal? Lock Up?) but I loved all of them. I was just a kid, but I can remember many an evening spent on the couch with the old man watching Rocky IV or The Running Man and through that, I grew attached to the genre and its stars. The action movies of the era were totally over the top (get it?) and I couldn’t get enough.

the expendables 2Here is Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis back when Bruce was still wearing hats everywhere to hide his hairline. This particular one he probably got from the ‘Hudson Hawk’ set…

As the ’80s came to a close, a third action icon would emerge – Bruce Willis. His breakthrough role in Die Hard, still arguably the greatest action movie in existence, placed him rightfully in the conversation with Arnold and Sly, and for years, that was the hierarchy. But, as with every hero, age took its toll. Stallone did Cliffhanger in ’93 and Arnold had True Lies in ’94, but after that they both turned out a series of near unwatchable garbage – The Specialist, Assassins, Daylight, End of Days, Collateral Damage, The 6th Day – the list goes on and on. While Willis would find success in a few more Die Hard movies, even he started to shy away from the genre for a while. That is until 2006 when Stallone, desperate for a hit, went back to the role that made him with Rocky Balboa. At 60 years old, he proved he could still draw audiences and he repeated the feat 2 years later with a 4th Rambo movie. Suddenly, the gears started turning and the movie I had prayed for 20 years earlier began to take shape…

the expendables 2

In 2010, Stallone started recruiting his aging contemporaries to make a star-studded action movie that revolved around the idea that they could all still fire guns and blow shit up, and it was great. Ok, so maybe not ‘great’, but it was entertaining as hell and pure nostalgia was often enough to power you through the weak dialogue and thin plot. Then on Thursday night, August 16th, at about 11:55 pm, I loaded myself into a theater seat and got ready for the sequel to begin. I was not disappointed.

the expendables 2

This time around, we were given not only Stallone (66) and Jason Statham (45) again, as well as much larger roles for Willis (57) and Schwarzenegger (65), but we also get the return of Jet Li (49), Dolph Lundgren (55), Randy Couture (49), and Terry Crews (44). Not to mention the inclusion of Chuck Norris (72 years old!), Thor’s little brother (22), and a 52 year old JCVD! It was awesome. Norris told a ‘Chuck Norris’ joke while going by the moniker ‘Lone Wolf’ (like Lone Wolf McQuade), Van Damme did multiple roundhouse kicks as the villain named ‘Vilain’, and Dolph Lundgren’s backstory was that of his real life – a chemical engineering degree from MIT…it’s like Stallone was writing the script while watching an action marathon on SpikeTV and reading Wikipedia.

the expendables 2

The movie also featured Nan Yu, who’s mostly Chinese resume I’m unfamiliar with. While she wasn’t bad, I would’ve gone with Maggie Q instead. With her resume already boasting adrenaline fueled flicks like Live Free or Die Hard, Mission Impossible: III, and the action-packed TV show Nikita, it just felt like a missed opportunity to grab the biggest cast they could. However, Nan Yu probably has more global pull and that could be why the decision was made. That being said, Yu did kick some ass in here.

the expendables 2

This was a movie that didn’t take itself too serious and delivered on the action. There were a few parts that might have come off as cheesy dialogue-wise, and it’s doubtful many people under the age of 18 could really appreciate most of the references, but for me, at the wise age of 29 – I was thrilled. The Expendables 2 delivered exactly what was promised and didn’t try to be something it wasn’t. The ‘R’ rating is barely warranted as the language wasn’t super harsh, there were zero female chesticles exposed (as Aaron pointed out), and much of the violence was so stylized it wasn’t intensely gory.

There is also something I want to give them credit for – something that seems to be a lost art form in most newer action movies – HOLDING THE GODDAMN CAMERA STILL!  Ever since Spielberg wow’d everyone in ’98 with the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, directors have been shaking the camera around so much you can’t tell what is happening. Perfect example would be ALL of the Bourne sequels. This time around the camera stayed stationary long enough for us to actually see the action happen – so thank you Simon West (Con Air, The Mechanic).

Overall, while the plot was a little thin and, quite often, the characters just seem to appear out of nowhere for the purpose of delivering a one-liner, this movie was a fun ride, and I think trumped the first movie easily. I give it 4/5 Grizzlies for delivering on its intended purpose and staying fun.

 

Despite the movie only being out a day in its spread its seed of unabashed 80s magnificence, there are already rumors that for the 3rd movie Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, and Nic Cage are all wanted.

the expendables 2As sweet as Eric Roberts and JCVD were in the first 2 movies, Nic Cage could be the greatest villain since Hans Gruber if written correctly (Editor’s Note: Honestly, he’d be the best villain ever if written incorrectly, which is what I’m rooting for.-C Tan)PUT HIM IN A BEAR SUIT!!!

Personally, I’d like to maybe see Linda Hamilton or Sigourney Weaver pop up as they were the baddest ass action heroines around when I was a kid. You could also see if Uma is busy, let her do some more sword play as it will have been over a decade since Kill Bill

the expendables 2

And, it may just be my movie-riddled mind drawing connections where there are none – but I spotted references to all the following movies – did anyone catch one that I missed?

– Good Guys Wear Black (1978)
– Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
– Conan the Barbarian (1982)
– First Blood (1982)
– Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
– The Terminator (1984)
– Die Hard (1989)
– Total Recall (1990)

I’m sure there are more, I just have to go see it again…

Grizzly Review: Conan the Barbarian

In 1932, writer Robert E. Howard created one of the greatest characters in the history American literature – Conan the Barbarian. Most people don’t realize he’s been around that long, commonly associating the character solely with the Schwarzenegger vehicles of the early 1980s. The uneducated masses, which until recently included myself in their ranks, are largely unaware of how in-depth the character’s history is. And now, 27 years after the last Conan movie, the Cimmerian is back on the big screen. And while I was initially underwhelmed by the casting of Jason Momoa, my mood changed after seeing him this season in Game of Thrones.

Continue reading Grizzly Review: Conan the Barbarian

New Red Band Trailer – Conan The Barbarian

So we’ve already had a teaser and a trailer, as well as a slew of posters for the new Conan the Barbarian, coming out this August. But we had not yet gotten a Red Band Trailer to show us all of the violent glory this flick is all about. Luckily we now have one to show you.

Looks excellent to me. I’m not looking for some deep movie about a barbarian’s feelings and how life gets him down. I want to see Conan fighting monsters, killing people and getting the gal! By the looks of this trailer that is what we’re gonna get!

Conan the Barbarian vs. the Party Crasher: New Posters Hit The Net

Captain America isn’t the only one releasing new character posters. The new Conan movie is also jumping into the game. And while we didn’t originally get excited about the casting of Jason Momoa as Schwarzenegger’s replacement, his role as ‘Khal Drogo’ in A Game of Thrones has done more than enough to change our minds. What has our staff most excited however is the presence of the Party Crasher, who will be  pitting his own awesomeness against Conan’s as his nemesis ‘Khalar Zym’.

The studio has released 5 character posters, each an exclusive to a different website. Sadly, Grizzly Bomb was not included in the prestigious 5. First Showing has the best of the posters – Mr. Zym…

The next coolest of the posters was awarded to Pop Wrap (Really?) and that is the one that features Rose McGowan as Marique…


My 3rd favorite, is the one awarded to MTV’s Splashpage, and that’s of the big guy himself.


Next is Conan’s dad, who by definition has to be a badass – Coming Soon‘s Ron Perlman as Corin. Perlman is one handsome SOB isn’t he…

And finally, the somewhat genaric Jo Blo contribution – Rachel Nichols as Tamara.


And of course, the OFFICIAL Movie Poster…

New Trailer: ‘Conan The Barbarian’

After a REALLY huge let down of a teaser trailer, we are finally treated to the premiere of a full Conan The Barbarian preview! As you know the Party Crasher, AKA Stephen Lang, stars in the film as the villain Khalar Zym.

You see a few good glimpses of him, and the speaking parts paint him out to be one decadently evil dude. Rose McGowan looks pretty sinister too as Marique, some evil witch lookin’ bitch. I honestly couldn’t even tell it was her with that half balding head, because I had thought she had dropped out of the movie when was in the long development phase.

Conan himself is played by newcomer Jason Momoa, who also plays another Barbarian named Khal Drogo in the HBO fantasy series called Game of Thrones. You may have heard of it.

And now without further adieu, the trailer in all it’s barbaric party crashing glory:

I’m all in for this one. You give me babes, blades, monsters and the Party Crasher and I’m set to go. I think any Conan fan should be psyched for this movie by watching the trailer.

There’s always the potential even a movie with a good trailer can totally suck, but you never know until you see the final product. I’m just happy the movie is finally done and ready to go after it was in development hell for nearly a decade.

I would also advise anyone familiar with the “Youraagh” Scream to listen closely at the 00:49 and 1:49 marks in the trailer because they definitely used it.  What a glorious product of movie sound!

Conan the Barbarian – Reboot

Set to come out this August, we are finally starting to see some of the marketing for the new Conan movie. The movie stars Stargate: Atlantis alum Jason Momoa as everyone’s favorite Cimmerian.

Obviously he is no Arnold, but the merits of this casting choice really won’t to be known until we see the movie. Much of the other cast however, should be more familiar to you. Both Ron Perlman and Rose McGowan will both lend their talents for what seems like a good fit.

Well Lionsgate has released a teaser trailer and people are upset. The outrage come not from what they show in the teaser, but what they don’t. Take a look and see if you can figure it out…

Did you get it? Do you know what’s missing?

Of course you do.

It totally omitted the film’s villain – The Party Crasher.

The Party Crasher has been cast to play Khalar Singh, the movie’s antagonist. This is news we learned in May of 2010, and have since been patiently waiting to see footage. This is why, when we were delivered a teaser trailer that showed us nothing, we got upset.

We attempted to contact TPC, but he was too bust slaughtering film editors to be reached by phone.

Here’s to hoping the next trailer they release does a better job of portraying the true focus of the film, The Party Crasher.

Suggested revisions to the CONAN movie poster.