Category Archives: Movie News & Opinions

Movie News & Opinions

The Expendables 2: Schwarzenegger and Willis Returning

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For all of you Expendables fans out there who can’t get enough of Hollywood action stars shooting and killing bad guys then here’s some excellent news: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are returning….

But don’t worry, it won’t be as lame as their little bit of face time in the first movie, according to Worst Previews, these roles are “substantial”:

Millennium Films recently revealed that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis will return for “The Expendables” sequel, but now comes word that the two actors have officially closed their deals for “substantial” roles in the film.

Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews and Randy Couture are also all returning. And they will be joined by Chuck Norris, Scott Adkins and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Now, by substantial roles I hope that means Arnold gets a nice little Commando-esque scene where he destroys about thirty guys on his own. Seriously that’s the only way to go! With the film reportedly losing Jet Li, they are a couple of guys that I think more than make up for his absence: Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van-Damme. And with Simon West, director of Con Air at the helm, you know this movie is more than likely going to be the most retarded thing ever… but in a good way. I watched Con Air over fifty times in the summer of its video release and many of you may not know that it is indeed an Academy Award winner nominee. (Original Music and Sound) So buckle up for 2012 my friends because the world IS ending once the Schwarz-Damme-Allone wave hits ya!

Movie News & Opinions

Return of The Jedi: Vader Dialogue Added…. WHY?

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I’ve never been too impressed with all of the “adjustments” that Mr. George Lucas is constantly making to his Star Wars films, particularly the original trilogy. Nothing made me cringe more than on the special edition VHS of Empire Strikes Back, when Luke is falling in Cloud City and the Emperor’s scream from Return of the Jedi was added in…. How terrible. And let’s not forget the infamous ‘Greedo shooting first’ fiasco. Enough said there!

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Now we have a scene where there was no need to mess with it. A self-sacrifice action to save a son’s life that worked without any dialogue. In the original scene Vader’s silence spoke volumes.

Now….. good God, just watch the clip below:

Granted the Noooooo! sounded a little better than that botch-job in Revenge of the Sith, but it still should not have been in there. I’m sure that I’ll get the same type of responses with people who will say “it’s George Lucas’ movie and he can do what he wants with it!”, which is true, but I’ll retaliate with the same comeback the outraged fans have –“Respect the fans because we’re the ones lining your pockets….bitch!”. And it’s funny that Lucas keeps changing things considering what he said before Congress in 1988…

I don’t get Lucas’ angle here. Are the fans too stupid to realize that earlier in the film in his conversation with Luke that he was having doubts about turning his son over to Palpatine? Are they too stupid to realize that Vader wasn’t too keen on his son being ‘Force Lightninged’ to death?

Unfortunately those weren’t the only changes to the Blu Rays…

As suspected a couple years back, Yoda is being replaced by a CG model in Phantom Menace. See George, that’s a good thing when you fix something that is total garbage.


Also being added into the Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks will have blinking eyes, now Lucas just needs to make the Gungans in Phantom Menace have no mouths. Also in A New Hope Greedo is still firing (horribly) first at Han in the cantina, and it was decided that the Krayt Dragon roar that Obi Wan emulates needed to be changed for the third time. So enjoy the Blu Rays being released later this month, I know my excitement for one has been unexpectedly stifled.

Movie News & Opinions

‘DIE HARD 5’ Has a Director

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Star Wars. Lord of the Rings. Indiana Jones. All great…for the most part. But for my money, my favorite film franchise all time is Die Hard. And as much as some people might want to rip on 2007’s Live Free of Die Hard, I loved it. The movie was throughly entertaining. Outside of Bruce Willis it also starred several of my other favorite actors – Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kevin Smith, Maggie Q…it was awesome.

Well now, 4 years after Willis proved wrong people who said he was too old, we’re getting a 5th movie. And that movie, for the 4th time, appears to have a Director – Justin Lin Joe Cornish Noam Murro John Moore according to Deadline.

Now, I’ve got nothing against Mr. Moore personally, but this isn’t a choice that instills me with a lot of confidence. Here are the last 4 movies he has directed: Behind Enemy Lines, Flight of the Phoenix, The Omen, Max Payne. Not the greatest run I’ve seen, and apparently I’m not alone. The average score of these four movies on IMDb is 5.75, and on Rotten Tomatoes they average about 27%. That’s…well, really bad. I saw all 4 of these. Behind Enemy Lines was mediocre, the Flight of the Phoenix remake was ok, but forgettable, The Omen remake was kinda shitty, and Max Payne was flat out terrible. This is the guy helming the newest Die Hard? Please Mr. Moore. Step you game up.


Movie News & Opinions

Hellraiser: Revelations – An Intentional Piece of Crap Movie

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Very rarely are movies intentionally made to be quickly cobbled together pieces of crap, held together by pond scum, but the latest installment of this franchise is meant to be just that. Check out the trailer below to see what I’m talking about:

Check out the trailer below to see what I’m talking about:

Now this crappy piece of shit was only made in order for Dimension Films to retain the rights to the Hellraiser franchise. They needed to do something with the property before they lost it, so while concurrently planning another higher budget entry into the series they give us Revelations. This movie will be in limited release (thankfully) and will be out on DVD October 18… my birthday. Please, no one get that for me.

Clive Barker, the original movie’s maker has even tweeted his disdain for the latest movie. It was harsh but pretty damned hilarious:

Kudos to Mr. Barker in condemning this piece of crap. Sadly I’ll be watching it one way or another to add it to our expanding collection of Craptastic Movie Reviews! I can guarantee it belongs there. I’ll be keeping an eye on the Hellraiser franchise after this is released though, just because my curiosity is piqued at what the high budget new entry could be like.

Now THAT’S Hellraiser!
Movie News & Opinions

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Wants to Play ‘Luke Cage’

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There’s been so much talk of a ‘Luke Cage’ movie that all of the build up will probably ruin the movie if it ever gets made. There have been almost a dozen actors vying for a role that hasn’t even really been offered to anyone. From Tyreese to Rampage Jackson to the Old Spice guy, this role is much sought after by any African-American actor with muscles. Now another musclebound actor has thrown his hat into the ring of Luke Cage. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has been communicating a lot of his acting activities through Twitter, a couple of weeks back it was about his role in GI Joe Retaliation, and more recently he tweeted this about Luke Cage:

Now of course there’s been some outcry from Luke Cage fans due to a little something called ‘skin color’. He’s just not black enough they say….

Man oh man. They change a white comic character in a movie to a black guy and there’s outcry. You cast a kind of black guy as a black comic character? Outcry. It’s terrible. I guess it will always be an issue in comic movies when it comes to race. The Skrulls better still be green if they show up in the Avengers movie next year! So what does everyone think? Would The Rock make a good Luke Cage or would one of the other self-nominees be a better pick? Personally I’d go with Tyreese Gibson.