After the disgraceful, garbage juice-bloated monstrosity that was Revenge of the Fallen, Michael Bay returned to his roots with a “Less talk and more blow shit up” philosophy that roped me right in. Transformers: Dark of the Moon should have been the most enjoyable of the franchise for a lot of Transformers fan. I love, love, LOVED the first movie and the introduction into the Michael Bay Transformersverse, but with Dark of the Moon we were able to dispense with the pleasantries and have an all out Autobot-Decepticon brawl that essentially leveled Chicago and left the Lincoln memorial busted up like so much rubble. The movie had everything I loved about the first one, with less of what we were subjected to in Revenge of the Fallen. Not to mention my favorite addition of all with ‘Sentinel Prime’, voiced by the man, the myth, the Vulcan: Leonard Nimoy.
Now, I was under the impression that the 3rd Transformers movie was the end of the road for Michael Bay and company because that’s what was said, but there was no effin’ way that Paramount was dropping the exploding money generator that is the Transformers franchise, so a part 4 was inevitable. The only question was who will star in it and who will direct it.
With Shia supposedly not coming back for a fourth hurrah, we were fed the rumor that has not been heard from again about Jason Statham starring. Personally I don’t think there should be any humans. I’m ready for a Transformers movie with only Transformers starring in it. You know it’ll never happen but a guy can dream, right?
The next big question was who could possibly replace a genius like Michael Bay? Well pretty much anyone who can make stuff blowing up on-screen look impressive is my answer. Give me McG, give me Roland Emmerich. The list could go on for a little bit. But with Dark of the Moon I was completely used to Bay’s popcorn movie, action directing style so you won’t hear me complaining if he returns, which it certainly sounds like is happening. Worst Previews:
Rumors started flying that a fourth film will soon happen, since Paramount Pictures will never give up such a lucrative franchise. And now comes word from Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner that the company has been in active discussions with Paramount, Steven Spielberg and director Michael Bay to develop “Transformers 4.”
The goal is to make an announcement before the end of the year, so a decision will be made soon. And not only that, but now IGN is reporting that there may be a Transformers 4 and 5 being shot back to back if it all comes to fruition. Color me super happy-excited!
Variety is now reporting that not only is another film being planned, but the studio is considering shooting a fourth and fifth installment back-to-back.“Nothing is set in stone, but screenwriter Ehren Kruger is said to have an idea for the next installments that the studio is high on, and has only begun engaging with writers,”
Shia LaBeouf will not be back, but those rumors about Jason Statham taking over the franchise? The action star is being considered. And according to Variety, Bay very well might be directing these films as well (and not just exec-producing), despite all his past talk about being done after three.
Can Bay truly pass on a franchise whose last movie grossed over a billion dollars? Hell naw man! If Shia is smart he’ll do a couple of passion projects before gearing up for another ride with the robots in disguise.
So what if Shia LeBeouf doesn’t come back for Transformers 4, why would you need him when you have the Stath? Check out the blurb below from IGN:
Latino Review points out that ShowbizSpy claims Statham is in the running to play the lead in the next film. “It’s clear the franchise still has huge potential but with a new leading man capable of taking Transformers in a new, darker direction,” according to the site. “Jason could be just the man to do that and his relationship with Rosie would be an added bonus in marketing the movie.”
Of course it’s all just rumor now, but imagine how hardcore of a movie Transformers 4 would be with robots not only beating the shit out of each other, but Jason Statham navigating the battlefield in Bumblebee and blasting the circuits out of Decepticons too! It’s too awesome to comprehend! And he’s no stranger to the whole weaponized car deal. (DEATH RACE?)
Of course there’s also already talk about whether or not the fourth robo-extravaganza would be a reboot over at IGN:
“Not so fast,” according to producer Don Murphy.
On the producer’s message board, Murphy wrote: “What happens next? Certainly not a reboot. We haven’t lost the Transformers. They didn’t grow up or become expensive like Tobey Maguire. I don’t know what happens next. I’m pretty sure there will be a second trilogy…”
Interestingly, Transformers director Michael Bay recently told IGN that he thinks a future installment would have to go the way of the reboot.
I think Michael Bay is just straight up retarded here. Or maybe he’s just afraid someone else will pick up where he left off and the franchise continues to be a money maker and it makes him feel less special. There’s still plenty of directions to go with Transformers 4 leading off from Dark of the Moon. Sure Megatron and the other main Decepticons are dead as Dillinger, but as many hardcore Transformers fans are aware, Galvatron is created from the ruined body of Megatron. (Just as Cyclonus and Galvatron’s other minions are made from other fallen Decepticons.) And Galvatron is brought back by none other than Unicron, the biggest of the Transformes; think of a Death Star transforming into a giant robot with a sweet Sentinel Prime beard.
And there are still plenty of Autobots to bring into the mix with Iron Hide dead, and if they decide to off Optimus once and for all. They would just have to bring in Kup, Hot Rod, Blur and Springer, all of whom would make for great incarnations on the silver screen. See? No need for a reboot at all. Just make Autobot city on Earth and go from there!
Springer is the shiznite!
Sure it’s all way too early to tell what they’ll do at this point and the Statham thing is just one huge rumor, but let’s face it; Pirates of the Carribbean 4: On Stranger Tides isn’t even out of theaters yet and Depp is already about to sign on for the next one. In Hollywood, I believe there is no such thing as early, especially when it comes to milking a franchise for everything it’s worth. What say you all? Any ideas of where the next Transformers movie can go? Or are you sick and tired of robots in disguise?
Okay, you should all know the drill by now. Don’t go into a Transformers movie with some sort of hope that it will change your life, or that you’ll glean some sort of valuable information after viewing it. Yes, by now we should all realize that there are good robots called Autobots, and bad robots called Decepticons. And more often than not these robo-factions are beating the bionic shit out of one another…brutally. That fact resonates loudly in this latest and last (at least according to Bay) installment of the franchise. I was actually ready for it to be over, but after this one it leaves me strangely wanting more.
So in case you haven’t seen the widely marketed trailer for the film, there is another cover-up/slash conspiracy in our government regarding the robots in disguise. The moon mission back in 1969? Just an excuse for our government to investigate a crashed transformer ship on the moon’s surface. This ship, known as the Ark, was an Autobot vessel carrying not only their leader – Sentinel Prime, but a technology that could somehow save Cybertron. I’m going to refrain from spoiling everything in this review, so if you want to know who lives and who dies then too bad!
Sentinel Prime
What ensues (Or so it seems) is a race against time to find the technology and Sentinel Prime on the moon before the Decepticons do. It’s a little more complex than that but I’ll just say that the first hour and half set up the final hour worth of non stop action.
Let’s start off with what I liked about the transformer characters in the movie, and I’ll follow it up with those I hated because you know that was inevitable. On the Decepticon side there were a couple of newcomers. Laser Beak, Soundwave’s minion, was actually pretty creepy and cool – unlike Frenzy from the first movie. Soundwave by the way is no longer a satellite in orbit like in part two, he’s a car, but I won’t spoil you with which one he is. Shockwave is our next contestant who, while bad-ass, plays almost no role except to be a complete a-hole. That’s fine with me by the way. Megatron and Starscream return, with Megatron looking extra menacing with half his face missing and robotic spiders crawling in and out of his head. I will let slip to you that the Decepticons are very deceptive (Yes I wrote that.) in this movie and the story is a step above that of Revenge of the Fallen which isn’t saying much, but it’s acceptable.
The Wreckers
Now onto the Autobots. Sentinel Prime is superbly voiced by Leonard Nimoy (who also played Galvatron in the 80’s animated film.) and was the leader of the Autobots before the role was handed down to Optimus. Optimus is back and better than ever, his truck trailer now tagging along to transform into a mobile armory for him. Ironhide, Ratchet, Sideswipe and Bumblebee all return, but there are also a few new Autobots gracing the screen this time. Dino is an almost ninja like Autobot, using multiple blades to fight his enemies. Que, is basically an homage to the James Bond movies, and sort of serves as the movie’s Wheeljack, supplying the humans and fellow Autobots with weapons. I actually completely hated how his head looked like the skull of a balding old man with gray hair sticking out of the sides….epic fail. The Wreckers are a group of Autobots who maintain their only transportation off of Earth: Top Spin, Leadfoot and Roadbuster. Though one is completely silent, the other two have thick Scottish accents which I was digging. They even transformed into heavily weaponized Impala race cars!
The only other two Autobots were Wheelie (from part 2) and Brains, who were so inconsequential that I don’t even need to cover them. Actually Mr. Bay, I’d like to claim my 25 grand for spotting the Twins in this movie because you just replaced two annoying robots with another set! Pay up!
“I’m done with this stupid franchise!”
Enough about robots though, let’s get to our human characters. Shia LeBeouf is back as our leading man Sam Witwicky (For his last stint as the character supposedly), who is struggling to find a job after college, but somehow has no problem struggling to find amazingly hot supermodel girlfriends. After Mikayla dumped him, Sam managed to snag Carly who is an English gal and looks like an effin’ Victoria’s Secret model! Oh wait, I forgot that she actually is a Victoria’s Secret model in real life! For someone just getting into acting, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley works on screen just as well if not better than Megan Fox. I don’t think at one point I ever once thought of Megan Fox since the first shot we are treated to is of Whiteley’s very gifted behind. You’ve done it again Michael Bay!
Holy testicle tuesday!
But back to Shia. He’s back and still goofy as ever, but in the likeable way, not in the Jar Jar Binks way. Sam’s parents were back, but it was thankfully brief this time instead of the overload we received in Revenge of the Fallen. The rest of the gang is in rare form with Josh Duhamel (Lennox), Tyrese Gibson (Epps) and John Turturro (Simmons) returning. Unfortunately in regards to the roles of John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Ken Jeong and Alan Tudyk they made the movie’s cast seem a bit bloated. Many of their roles, though funny, were ultimately unnecessary. At this point you may ask why I left out our boy Patrick Dempsey. The reason I did that was because I thought his character added a new element to the movies that was missing. *SPOILER INCOMING*
“Why yes, I am fricking awesome. You just noticed this?”
In the prequel book to Revenge of the Fallen (The Veiled Threat by Alan Dean Foster) Starscream employed the forces of African rebels and a corrupt Italian businessman in his battle against the Autobots while Megatron was gone. So it was good to finally see a group of humans siding with who they see as the winning side in the Decepticons, and like Dempsey’s character Dylan Gould says at one point –“You think they gave me a choice?” And I have to admit as a non Patrick Dempsey fan, he played the role of the douche bag to perfection.
“Who forgot to bring the damned parachutes?”
So overall I have to give Dark of the Moon 3 out of 5 grizzlies.
Bay has definitely made up for the monstrosity that was Revenge of the Fallen, but just barely. The visuals were stunning, especially the Decepticon assault on Chicago. It seemed like Bay did everything for that whole segment except flash a message across the screen that said –“Suck it Skyline and Battle: LA!” It would truly seem like this is the last of the Transformers franchise under Bay because there was a whole lot of robotic death going on, but I’m sure they could come up with something for another installment.
Galvatron anyone?
The storyline wasn’t as terrible as Revenge of the Fallen, even though the whole ‘Pillar’ aspect seemed to echo the process of the sun harvester from the last movie. All I can say is at least they had a few twists and turns along the way. The cast was great, even the notable faces who didn’t have a whole lot to do. It makes me think most of them lost a bet to Bay and had to be in his next transformers movie. I will definitely look forward to seeing Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in more movies to come. She was as hot as Megan Fox (if not hotter) but was not a terrible actress. I almost can’t think of any English actors who suck unless they are doing an American accent in a movie. (You’re terrible Bale!) So what did everyone else think of the movie? An improvement at least? Or was it just a special effects laden piece of dog crap?
Back in 1996 Micheal Bay was and up and coming Director, with only the 1995 credit Bad Boys to his name, and pension for blowing things up. He had not yet sullied his name with predictably bad sequels like Bad Boys II or the Transformers movies. In fact, the movies he did in the 90’s, though now a bit cliché, were some of the decades best action epics.
The brightest spot on his resume has to be The Rock. This was a movie about a group of Marines who steal 15 chemical weapon powered rockets. They then threaten to launch said rockets against the city of San Francisco from Alcatraz Island, where they are holding 81 hostages. His demands require that all the men that has died under his watch, on Black Ops missions, be recognized as heroes and their families be rewarded a million dollars a piece from dirty money seized from weapons sales. His motives are actually noble which sets him aside from most antagonists in the genre. An honorable man pushed too far, the character is relatable and for that this movie is more than your run of the mill Dwayne Johnson/Vin Diesel movie. So in a joint operation, the FBI and a group of Navy SEALS must get onto the island and squash the threat. In 1996 I was all of 13, and when I walked into the theater I found my self thoroughly entertained for the entire 136 minute ride. Here we are now, 15 years later and the movie still holds up.
Our old buddy Nic Cage is our hero. He plays a chemical weapons specialist with the FBI named Stanley Goodspeed, and Sean Connery is basically an old James Bond. Ed Harris and David Morse play our missile thieves, and there are a slew of other recognizable faces as the movie goes on.
When we met Goodspeed, he is in the lab with Todd Louiso (High Fidelity, Snakes on a Plane) and Xander Berkley (24, Terminator 2) attempting to disarm a poisonous gas bomb. After succeeding he goes home to then learn that his girlfriend is pregnant, which only adds to his desperation to survive later on.
General Hummel (Harris) then makes the threat to launch the stolen rockets into the Bay Area. It is then that Goodspeed is called to San Fran because of his knowledge of the VX Gas used in the rockets. Once he arrives he meets John Mason (Connery), and we learn that Mason has been held, nameless and with no trial for over 30 years. Because however, he is the only man to ever escape Alcatraz, he is to be sent in with the SEAL team to guide them through the tunnels of the former prison. He is however told nothing of the rockets.
Once on the island, the SEAL team is led by none other than Michael Biehn(The Terminator, Aliens, Navy Seals, Tombstone) who promptly get his entire team killed. Nice job Mike! You can see Hummel takes no joy from having to kill more soldiers, but some of his men don’t seem to share his pain. With the destruction of the SEAL team, this leaves only Mason and Goodspeed to diffuse the rockets. And it’s only after Mason is let in on the real threat that he decides to help Stanley complete the mission. Thus truly begins The Rock as Connery delivers one of his greatest quotes ever…
So Mason and Goodspeed continue on in hopes of saving the day and are able to disable 12 of the 15 rockets before the John C. McGinley(Platoon, Se7en, Scrubs) led Marine team interrupts them. Things don’t end well for Dr. Cox however, as Mason lights his ass on fire. Booyah.
General Hummel then announces over the Island PA system that if the guidance chips removed from the rockets are not returned, he will execute a hostage. Upon hearing this Mason sends Goodspeed after the rockets and he heads to confront Hummel. This is the first time either of our heroes come face to face with the General, and it is not a battle of fists, but of minds as Mason and Hummel banter…
After this Goodspeed is able to take out only one of the remaining three rockets before being taken into custody. This now leaves Mason and Goodspeed prisoners, with the Marines still controlling 2 rockets.
Mason however did escape once, as it turns out, he still remembers how and they free themselves from their cells. Not in time however to stop the launch of one of the rockets. Luckily Mason’s instinct was right and Hummel is not a mad man, thus refusing to kill innocents. He diverts the rocket so it detonates underwater and causes a mutiny among his own men. The revolt, let by Tony Todd (Candyman, 24, Platoon) results directly in the deaths of Hummel, Major Baxter (Morse) and Crisp (Bokeem Woodbine). From here its a race to the last rocket and a question if Goodspeed can signal in time to call off the impending Air Strike. He does of course win the race and signal in time.
After this he is able to give Mason a give – his freedom. Goodspeed informs FBI Director Womack (John Spencer) that Mason has been vaporized. A lie that is helped along by Special Agent Paxton (William Forsythe). So Mason is free and all is good in the world.
I don’t feel that it would be a stretch to call this one of the best action movie of the last 20 years. I think this is before Michael Bay became so self-aware and you’re reminded of how he built his name. The pacing is good, really no lulls. The cast is great, and the dialogue, though often simplistic, is both powerful and memorable enough to quote. It’s a shame Bay hasn’t done anything of this quality in so long, but this is one of the movies that helped redefine the genre for the 90’s.
For this list I looked at movies that were simply unable to live up to their incredible trailers. Trailers that were able to build an epic anticipation for the movie they were previewing. On this list are some of the best trailers ever made, which just goes to show, you don’t need a quality movie for a quality trailer…
10.) Watchmen
To start off the list I picked a movie that I actually liked. The problem is the trailer is so brilliantly crafted that is should’ve been a movie that I loved. This is a trailer I watched probably 100 times before the movie came out, and I was convinced that Watchmen, released in 2009, would indeed be was worthy DC Comic follow-up for 2008’s masterpiece The Dark Knight. These expectation proved lofty and unattainable. While not a bad movie, it’s simply not the same quality of movie advertised below…
For a concept of there can be only one, there sure have been a lot of fricking Highlander movies. And wouldn’t you know it, they all became progressively worse. Yes after about five movies they finally figured out the whole deal stopped working after the first one… until now. Today we have Justin Lin, who is the director of the latest installment of the Fast and Furious franchise, Fast Five. Apparently that movie grossing over 80 million in its first weekend has Lin on the fast track to directing a couple of pretty big Sci-Fi franchise movies. The biggest of course being the next Terminator movie with Arnold and the other being a new Highlander movie. Here’s what Lin had to say in article from the fine folks of Gamma Squad:
[quote]“I’ve been working with [Iron Man writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway] on the script. That’s one where Summit has been really good [about letting it develop], and for me, it’s about making sure that we can take it to the place where I feel comfortable and great about making it. I feel like I have a very good studio and team and we’re working on it.”[/quote]
Not much to go on, but the guy feels pretty good about the whole thing. But then again so did Joe Johnston about Jurassic Park 3 and Bret Ratner about X-Men: The Last Stand. We all know how those turned out. Runny dog poop comes to mind every time I think about those two so-called movies.
The Highlander story and first movie were extremely entertaining in my opinion. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it: The story follows a group of immortals throughout the ages as they fight one another for the ultimate power over mankind, known as the “Quickening” which can only be obtained by the last remaining immortal: Hence the tagline “there can be only one”. To kill one another the immortals must perform a decapitation. Seems simple and it was but the movie really is pretty good. Plus, Sean Connery is in it.
I think a new movie could definitely have some success, but I just have little faith in the Fast Five director. Filming car chases and explosions is one thing, but a story is a different matter. Just ask Michael Bay.
Any Highlander fans out there excited for the prospect of a new movie or a reboot? Or are we afraid that Channing Tatum or Robert Pattinson will be the next Highlander?
With Shia supposedly not coming back for a fourth hurrah, we were fed the rumor that has not been heard from again about Jason Statham starring. Personally I don’t think there should be any humans. I’m ready for a Transformers movie with only Transformers starring in it. You know it’ll never happen but a guy can dream, right?
Grizzly Bomb 