Random-Ass Movie Reviews: Creepshow

So for the first installment of Grizzly Bomb’s “Random-Ass Movie Reviews” we look to the early 1980’s. Stephen King, George A. Romero, and old school comic books bring us the camp classic Creepshow. Creepshow was a camp filled horror movie compiled of 5 short segments written mostly by Stephen King, and directed by Night of the Living Dead creator George A Romero.

Father’s Day – A very young, yet still obviously balding Ed Harris is the most notable name in this segment. It’s the story of dysfunctional rich family who gets together on Father’s Day each year to seemingly celebrate the murder of the family patriarch. This one really gets moving just before Harris is killed by the zombified patriarch. The zombie pushes a tombstone over onto Harris as slowly as is imaginable, and Harris waits what feels to be about a month before deciding not to move and is crushed to death. The pacing really picks up from there as the rest of the cast is murdered seemingly quicker that tombstone fell.

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill – This one is our Sci-Fi chapter. Jordy, played by Stephen King himself, is a dimwitted farmer who finds a meteor on his land that turns him into a plant-creature. It does so because Jordy can’t seem to help himself from touching said meteor and then putting his hand in his mouth.

Something to Tide You Over – In what is the most remembered of the segments we see a young Ted Danson and a Leslie Nielsen who looks, well, the same as always. This is probably the best of the segments, and we get to see Nielsen doing something a little different from his normal slapstick routine. Our boy plays a good psycho and buries Danson in the sand up to his neck so the tide will do him in. Classic.

The Crate – This is, I assume, what they expected to be the big bang segment of the anthology. It stars Hal Holbrook, who was the movie’s top billed star, as a College Professor. He is burdened with a terrible wife and a passive existence. His best friend, along with the janitor, find a crate that’s been untouched for just under 150 years. Said crate houses a force of nature that brutally devours people. When I was a kid, this was my favorite part.

They’re Creeping Up on You – The final chapter of this opus is the story of a crotchety old germaphobe played by E. G. Marshall. He lives alone, hates everyone, and only seems to take pleasure in causing others pain. This allows the filmmakers to do whatever they want to him without risking the audience feel any sympathy for him. And they waste little time before they start to screw with him. As the segment proceeds his sterilized apartment start to be overrun by cockroaches.

The film spawned a sequel in 1987 and has found a cult following with the invent of VHS and DVD. Not great by any means, but a fun watch for sure. Leslie Nielsen’s performance is enough to watch for by itself.

The movie gets points for excessive camp and great casting. I give it a 3.5 Bears.

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