HBO’S True Blood: First Three Minutes of Season Four

Looks like there’s a new sneak peek of the upcoming season of True Blood.  It features the opening 3 minutes of the upcoming season. I’ve also included some of the new promo posters. But before I begin my hesitant but necessary tirade, a warning for you of spoilers to come.

THERE ARE SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Now, let me begin.

I want to begin by letting everyone know that I truly love this show.  That being said, WHAT THE HELL???  What is this?  Is this a joke?  Did someone pay Anna Paquin to perform in a crappy play that they wrote?  After all this time, all this anticipation, this is what we’ve been given?  I don’t even know where to begin commenting on this ridiculousness.

I guess let me start with the idea of “fairy godmothers.”  I wasn’t aware that this was a Disney movie.  I also wasn’t aware that men had wombs, which is what I gather from the fact that they seem to also be mothers.  Seems like a pretty cool party.  Maybe they’ll all take out their magic wands and do some party tricks.  Maybe one of those pieces of glowing fruit will turn into a carriage later, that would be a real crowd pleaser.

Second of all, where the heck are they?  Fairy land?  Are they all fairies?  Do fairies go here to die?  Sookie is very confused, and so am I during this entire clip.  Especially when Bill Lumberg shows up at the end.  I assume the clip cuts off right before he asks Sookie if she’s putting cover letters on her TPS reports.

And thirdly, seriously HBO??  THIS is your marketing grab?  SERIOUSLY?  I looked at the time status bar ten times during this clip to see if it was almost over.  Something so drab and boring surely can’t be your request to get people to watch your show.

This is all very upsetting to me.  Coming into the new season, I had expected that we would get a story line focusing on fairies along with a sub-story about witches.  When it started getting over-publicized, we started getting bombarded with these two new magical creatures; which, as I’ve said before, are the only two they haven’t had on the show yet.  And now, after this monstrosity, I am nervous.  It all seems too eerily familiar to the meal-induced mind control story arc of the second season.  And the second season made me want to destroy my television set.

I can tell you how this story will go: the fairies seem perfect and helpful and kind, but they are not.  They are evil.  And Sookie will find a way to destroy them.  If I am correct, it’s all a little ‘been there done that’.

Here’s the video so you can judge for yourself.  Let me know what you think in the comments, because I feel like HBO just probed my brain and I can’t think straight anymore.

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