In the same spirit as the last couple of weeks, tonight’s episode of Raw is yet another special event as the WWE brings back ‘Raw Roulette’. Not only this, but we already knew prior to tonight’s event that the “Heart Break Kid” – Shawn Michaels is going to be in Sin City for the show.
At the start of the show Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring, and says that he’s had a hard time leaving the WWE. He’s getting all sappy, and kissing the crowds ass, telling them they made him who he was. He is quickly interrupted by CM Punk, and a couple of his sideshow clowns, McGillicutty and Otunga. Punk begins to give HBK crap for coming back after he said he was going to retire. After some smack talk about how HBK left the WWE a loser because he lost to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, Shawn Michaels gave David Otunga a “sweet chin music.” The general manager then sends an email saying that CM Punk will be in the first match of the night and they will spin the roulette wheel to see what kind of match it will be. Booker T (who is apparently the roulette host) comes on the titan tron and spins the wheel, which lands on a mystery opponent. Booker informs Punk that his opponent will be Kane. Michaels who is still in the ring, then hits McGillicutty with a sweet chin music and tells CM Punk good luck with the match.
CM Punk vs. Kane
The match begins with Kane man handling Punk. He quickly throws Punk to the outside of the ring, and throwing him into the barricade. Once back in the ring, Kane still continues to dominate Punk. CM Punk retaliates with a desperate kick to the head of Kane, and begins picking apart the big red machine. This seems to be the match of head kicks, as Kane gains control back from Punk by doing just that. CM Punk rolls out of the ring, and begins walking to the back. While walking to the back, CM Punk (Who has already promised that after his match in three weeks for the WWE championship, he is going to leave the company) begins yelling at the crowd saying, “What are they going to do, fire me?” Michael Cole then makes one of the most valid points he has ever made, by saying that this was the smartest thing Punk could have done. He already has his title shot, and there would be no point in risking an injury in this match.
Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne (No Count Out)
Before this match even starts, I’m praying that Bourne puts this over hyped Rey Mysterio wannabe in his place. After weeks of hyping this guy up before his debut, he has done nothing spectacular what so ever. The match starts with a few arm drags, and quick counters. Sin Cara starts to gain a bit of control, but still nothing too impressive coming from him. Sin Cara does a few flips here and there, and then Bourne does the same. With a lot of spins and back flips, this gymnastics contest finally ends with Sin Cara face planting Bourne in the middle of the ring. Sin Cara remains undefeated in the WWE.
Kofi Kingston is in the back and spins the wheel to find out what kind of match he will have against Ziggler. Vicki Guerrero comes in instead and spins the wheel which lands on “player’s choice.” This means that Kingston gets to pick the match. Kofi says that the match will be one on one (how exciting), with Vicki banned from ringside. After three matches, I’m getting really annoyed with how lame the night has been thus far.
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler tries leaving the ring, but Kingston runs out and politely escorts Ziggler back in the ring. However, this doesn’t last long, the match then gets taken back outside the ring. After Kingston goes face first into the ring post, Raw cuts to a commercial break. When Raw returns, the match is in the ring and Ziggler is in control. Ziggler is pretty much dominating Kingston the entire match-up. Kingston goes for a quick roll up on Ziggler but doesn’t get the three count. Kingston hits a quick “trouble in paradise,” and gets the win.
The Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio (Cage Match)
I’m no genius, but my guess is that Del Rio is going to win this match. It would make no sense to have the Big Show win, they are going to drag this rivalry on as long as they can, and the only way they can. I really feel like the only way to do this in any interesting way is by having Del Rio keep defeating the Big Show. The Big Shows music hits and he comes out doing everything but dancing down the ramp because he is so excited. The match begins and Del Rio tries to get a quick escape, but to no avail. Big Show begins throwing Del Rio around the ring. Del Rio does manage to take control and seems to be targeting his attack on the Big Shows knee. Mark Henry then begins to walk out to the cage. Henry is pacing around the outside of the cage. Henry then rips the cage door off of its hinges and I begin to crap my pants from my living room. Mark Henry begins attacking the Big Show. While this is going on Del Rio escape the cage. After the match Henry runs at Show with the cage in his hands and hits the Big Show which sends the Big Show through the side of the cage, yet another holy crap moment.
Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella (Submission Match)
Bella gets a quick arm bar, but doesn’t get Kelly Kelly to tap out. Kelly Kelly quickly gets the submission finish. Usually I’m more than ok with the women’s matches ending quickly, but Kelly Kelly is a bit of an exception to this rule.
Backstage we see Booker T and Diamond Dallas Paige, and DDP is advertising the WCW Nitro DVD. I was really quite uninterested in all of this so I didn’t pay much attention to it.
Alex Riley & Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz & Jack Swagger (Tornado Match)
All men are in the ring at the same time, which is really entertaining but really difficult to write about. Each week I find myself more and more impressed with Alex Riley. I really feel like he could turn out to be a great contender for the title. Though hopefully against a champion who is a heel, because Riley (to me at least) is much more entertaining as a baby face (don’t know if people use that term anymore). Chaos is breaking out in the ring and surprise-surprise, the Miz and Alex Riley are only fighting each other. Raw cuts to a commercial break half way through the match. When Raw returns, the Miz and Jack Swagger are in control. Momentum is shifting back and forth too quickly to write about at the same time. This match is quickly turning the corner into being very entertaining. Alex Riley and Rey Mysterio eventually get the victory and in what I’m sure will be overall the most entertaining match of the night. I dare say one of the most entertaining raw matches in a few weeks.
R-truth is in the back talking to himself and he spins the wheel to find out that his match against John Cena will be a tables match.
John Cena vs. R-Truth (Tables Match)
R-Truth begins to lay the smack down on John Cena, and Truth pushes a table into the ring. Right when Truth is about to suplex Cena through the table, Cena counters the move and suplexes Truth in the opposite direction. The match goes on for about five more minutes in the same back and forth fashion that we’re all use to. Cena sets up Truth for the attitude adjustment through the table, however with the interference of CM Punk this doesn’t happen. Instead thanks to a clever distraction, R-Truth capitalizes and puts John Cena through the table with a spear. CM Punk then begins to talk about all of the reasons that he is leaving the WWE. CM Punk surprisingly is making a lot of sense when he is ripping apart Vince McMahon and the way the WWE has been promoting only a select few wrestlers who don’t even seem to be the best the company has to offer. Overall, I was actually enjoying his insight until the mic got cut off and the show ended.