Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 12 – “And When I Die”

Well, folks, season 4 has finally drawn to a close.  I say “finally” because this season was terrible.  A complete and utter train wreck from start to finish.  But before I get ahead of myself, let’s take a look at tonight’s episode.

This episode had some of the best one liners of the entire season.  When Eric called Nan’s body guards “Gay Storm Troopers,” I peed my pants a little.  Even Jesus got some laughs with his Pokemon reference.  However, a few moments of funny dialogue does not a well-written episode make; and tears I shed during this episode were not born of laughter, but of misery and frustration.

Marnie’s story arc was like a diet drink, a vicious little pretender trying to hard to be good. Meanwhile, I’m left feeling unsatisfied and smacking my lips against a horrible aftertaste. Being True Blood, I was expecting there to be some sort of battle, or at least an epic finish to a story they spent so much time telling.  Instead, it turns into an episode of the Real World for dead people.

SPOILERS AHEAD>>> Antonia talks Marnie down from making Bill and Eric into vampire potato chips, so Marnie has a scream cry and moves on with the other dead people?  Talk about anti-climax.

Our thoughts go out to Kevin Alejandro, who played Jesus.  Poor sap can’t hold down a job.  First Southland, now True Blood.  He’s just so easy to kill off.

Once this garbage is done, the episode gets down to setting up the next season; starting with Sookie’s double vampire dump.  I don’t know what any of them see in each other, but I’m getting really tired of this “will they, won’t they” crap.  Also, it’s about time the line of suitors outside Sookie’s door shortened.

Sweet Robes!

Jason and Jessica are still going strong.  I actually like them as a couple more and more. Jason has had some serious issues with his selection of girlfriends (V-tripping Amy and Crazy Couger Crystal to name a couple), it’s nice to see him with someone relatively normal.  Jessica has been very likable, especially lately.  I’m curious to see how that will pan out.  It’s a shame, though, that Jason and Hoyt are fighting and can’t use their totally cool super secret handshake.

While this episode left much to be desired, there were a few surprise moments that I appreciated.

1. Renee showing up and scaring the shit out of Arlene.  He came to warn her about Terry’s friend. Poor Arlene. If Terry ends up being a psycho, too, she really can’t catch a break.  Although her daughter dressing up as one of the girls from Teen Mom: PRICELESS.

A welcome site (to the viewers) Michael Raymond-James' triumphant return, back from his display of brilliance on Terriers.

2. Russell Edgington has escaped!  DUM DUM DUM!!!

3. Nan is dead!  Which is a shame, I really loved to hate her.  Although she got my excitement flowing when she talked about a group forming defiance against the American Vampire League!  I’m a sucker for all that political stuff.  It’s just a shame she had to turn into a bitch machine and get stabbed to death by Bill with a fire poker.

And those poor gay storm troopers were decapitated by Eric…

4. Debbie killed Tara. Sookie killed Debbie. That brings the count to three people dying in that kitchen. The law enforcement in this town is a joke.

 It’ll be interesting to see how this stuff plays out next season.  I will admit that I’m intrigued.  However, this anticipation can’t make up for lack of content in this episode, which I will award a dismal 2/5 bears.  

Better luck next year.

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