So the Ant-Man movie, I’m hearing mixed reviews all over the shop about this flick. People are excited about the prospect of another Edgar Wright movie, but don’t seem pleased that it’s a film about a guy who talks to ants and shrinks down really small. ‘Ant-Man’ was a founding member of ‘the Avengers’ in the Marvel Universe, and has been through many revamps (the most recent been him taking on the costume and name of his deceased ex-wife and having a strange relationship with a robot that has his dead wife’s memories!).
Welcome to Comic Rack! My pick of the top five comic news stories in no particular order.
Marvel Pulling A New 52?
A post-AvX Marvel world is beginning to be planned out, and with any major plans the Big 2 make, they inevitably will find ways to copy each others successes, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much. Marvel has been shaking things up in it’s Universe with a now confirmed “relaunch”, rather than a hardcore reboot, ala DC. Over at CBR, they detail some of the title’s changes as such:
Uncanny Avengers: (Oct 2012) written by [Rick ]Remender. It is going to be the new flagship marvel title and will have among others Cap, Thor, Wolvy, Rogue and Havok in it and both sides will still have some AVX tension.
Avengers (Dec 2012): Bi weekly with more then 18 avengers on the team. Written by [Jonathan] Hickman with one shot stories and longer galaxy spanning multi-issue arcs
X-Men: (Nov 2012) hold on to your hats…… Bendis!!! about the original five x-men time-travel two the present in a Pleasantville style story and who are not going to like what they see once they are in the present and will find it unacceptable. Bendis says the time travel aspect of the story is not as important as the character based drama.
This teaser pic was recently leaked from Entertainment Weekly‘s Comic-Con issue, which supposedly features a mixture of characters from the new line-up. Newsarama reports:
Further details from Entertainment Weekly’s promised article on the post-Avengers vs. X-MenMarvel Universe may have leaked online late Monday night, including a reputed scan of the full version of the Joe Quesada piece featuring Jean Grey in her original costume.
The image, which appears to have originated on Tumblr, surfaced Monday on message boards including CBR’s Marvel Comics forum, and shows what appears to be new costumes for characters including Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Iron Man and Cyclops, along with a prominent place for Guardians of the Galaxy team member Rocket Raccoon and what appears to be a floating helmet.
It’s still early to get any information on his this will affect other flagship Marvel titles like Spider-Man,Thor, Captain America or Iron Man, but I’m imagining their intent is to have the relaunch be more similar to their past habit of re-numbering certain titles and releasing them as their own run. This time it will be on a much bigger scale, and we’ll have to wait and see if it’ll be a numbers only change, or a reconfiguration of the Marvel Universe status quo. Personally, I haven’t read Marvel comics in years, but I’m sure many a Marvel fan is eager to see what will happen to their beloved characters in the future months.
GL Corps Event Showcases the Rise Of The Third Army
Being a Green Lantern fan has always been tough. With the myriad of colors and powers, plus the effects, meaning and differentiations between them all has been difficult to explain to non-comic book readers as to why all of it is so cool and interesting, and not nearly as dumb as it sounds on first impression. Add to that it’s complicated story line that has been brought through in a kinda-sorta way to the New 52, and it can get daunting. But despite all that, to Green Lantern fans, it’s still a great book that spans a wide selection of titles that can be hard on the wallet. Soon it will only get harder, with another event on the horizon.
Over at The Source, Geoff Johns himself speaks about the “Third Army” and what that will mean for our favorite ring slingers. You can read an excerpt here and check the link for more from the other GL series writers:
“Absolute power corrupts absolutely–and the Guardians time is finally here. The Lantern titles spent the first year of DC COMICS-THE NEW 52 re-establishing themselves, but it all comes back together with year 2 starting with GREEN LANTERN #0 and leading into October’s #13’s – which share an amazing cover by Ivan Reis. In October, the Guardians’ Third Army rises to replace the Green Lantern Corps – but how is horrifying and why will change the Guardians and their ancient mission forever. As we discover what the Third Army actually means, our strongest Lanterns are targeted for absolute destruction. From Atrocitus to Guy Gardner to our newest Green Lantern from Earth – who may have been wrongly chosen – all their darkest secrets and failures will come to light. What is Sinestro’s ultimate fate? Who is this new Green Lantern and why was he chosen? What is the Third Army? What with Atrocitus sacrifice to take on the Guardians? What will Larfleeze give up to find the one thing he wants? What happens to Guy Gardner when he’s targeted after Hal Jordan? And, most importantly, who is the First Lantern?”
I think the entire concept of Green Lantern is one that works best in its medium, and the concepts of Will and Fear being actual sources of power, are hard to grasp for general audiences. In my opinion, this makes it the perfect litmus test for how much a comic nerd you are, because if you can get into and follow Green Lantern, you’ve broken the threshold and can officially call yourself a comic book fan. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE me some Green Lantern, but I do recognize it is pretty intimidating for new readers to jump into. For the rest of us though, this event sounds like another slam dunk in the Green Lantern oeuvre.
The Joker Returns
Back when the New 52 started, one of the most immediately arresting images in the entire lineup was the final page of Detective Comics #1. It featured the Joker’s face, freshly flayed and pinned to a wall. Even more disturbing was that he seemingly let this happen willingly. The new Batman titles certainly started strong, and really only gained steam as they continued, especially with Scott Snyder’s “Batman” title carrying some really great stories, utilizing Batman in creative, fairly new ways. But the question remained, what happened to the Joker?
Well it seems the questions from Detective Comics will be picked up by Snyder starting with BATMAN #13.
“Joker is my favorite villain of all time,” Snyder told The Source. “Not just in comics. In everything – film, books, TV. He’s the greatest, hands down. So this story is something extremely important and personal to me – something I’ve been building in my head ever since I started working in Gotham. Basically, this is my big exploration of the Joker, my ARKHAM ASYLUM or THE KILLING JOKE, only bigger in scope. Bottom line: it’s the biggest, baddest, most shocking Joker story I could tell. This is Joker completely unleashed. He has been away for a full year planning this revenge, watching, plotting, setting things up. And now he’s back. He has his traps set, his knives sharpened… And wait ’til you see him. Greg’s sketches literally gave me chills. Point blank: This is Joker like you’ve never seen him before. He has a mission. He has a secret. And he has a serious axe to grind with Batman. It isn’t going to be pretty, but it’s going to be a wild ride. Thanks for taking it with us.”
Holy crap does that sound awesome! I had to stop reading the Batman books from DC because my wallet was threatening suicide on a daily basis, but this may have to make me add Batman back to my pull list. Check out the promo art below, how great is that? I can’t wait to read this thing.
Morning Glories Shows Us Their “Truants”
Morning Glories is hands down the best book Image is putting out right now. I know, even better than Walking Dead. There is no other book that each week I cannot wait to immediately grab, sit down and read, curse loudly when I get to its last page, and then read again. I can get why people may not like it, because it’s dense, ambiguous, very weird and chock full of symbolism and mysticism. It’s also juxtaposed pretty brilliantly with an average HIgh School Drama, and that can be jarring for some. For me, the mixture of the fantastical and the mundane is something I always rabidly enjoy, and seeing any new information about the series and its many mysteries is always welcome.
CBR had an interview with the book’s writer, Nick Spencer, where he had this to say about the new additions to the comic’s cast, currently referred to as “The Truants”:
“These characters that you see on this page are key parts of the fourth arc. We’re a long way from having seen all of the cast of the book, but these are some big, important additions. Beyond that, it’s exciting because some of these are characters I’ve had in mind since the series started. So to get to finally bring them into the open is a big deal for me. We’ve laid some groundwork for them in past issues that I think will make it even more exciting.”
Morning Glories is a comic you’ll probably either love or hate. I love it, since it fills the wanton lust for mystery and bizarre WTF-ness I became addicted to from Lost, that I now crave like a struggling heroin addict. Who are the Truants? Man I cannot wait to find out.
New Flash Origin, Speculation on Flashpoint and an Upcoming War Event?
As most DC fans know, The Flash is one of the more pivotal characters in the spectrum of the New 52’s creation, and his connection from the Old Continuity’s Flashpoint Event, to The New 52’s current lineup, is one that has yet to be explicitly touched on again. However, the current writer/artist team of Manapul/Buccellato had a lot of very interesting hints to give in this interview with Newsarama. In the interview, they touch on developing a new origin for The Flash, but more interestingly, they hint towards a connection with Old DC Continuity:
Nrama: In issue #8, Barry actually said out loud that you can’t go back in time and mess things up, and you told Newsarama that you were giving a nod toward Flashpoint in that line. Now that you’re reinforcing this “forward-moving” idea in his origin story in issue #0, is that also a nod toward Flashpoint?
Buccellato: Somewhat, at least for those readers who might understand it on a deeper level.
Manapul: But it’s more from a meta-standpoint.
Nrama: By “meta,” you mean that this is from you as writers, instead of the character himself referring to learning a lesson from Flashpoint?
Manapul: Right. Brian and I had specific emotional goals for Barry that we needed him to go through in order to explain who he is and the things that he does, including the fact that he’s forward-moving”
Perhaps in the future, we’ll get further hints as to the direct nature of The Flash’s connection to the “timeline” of the DC continuity, and while I may be reaching, maybe even the relationship he could have with the mysterious “Pandora” character we all saw in the background of every Issue #1 so long ago. Towards the end of the interview, they also mention a new Flash related event that ties in the Rogues gallery, and will introduce a “War” that is coming to Central City. Which sounds great if you ask me, but mostly, I just wanna know who the hell Pandora is!
Finally, after 38 years, audiences have been able to see the recently found original ending for the 1974 movie Phase IV. A screening of the original movie in Los Angeles by Cinefamily to celebrate the works of the director Saul Bass lead into the viewing of the never before seen footage. This was Bass’s only film, but he was well-known in the industry as been a master title designer. On release the film was a flop, but has been well received by fans rediscovering it on TV and through parody shows like Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
Tonight’s Raw opens with the announcement that Teddy Long will be the GM. Which doesn’t bode well for tonight’s show, but I accepted that it was inevitable. John Cena enters the ring while promos for Money In The Bank are mentioned. Cena then starts talking about the ending of last weeks show, where he got beaten by Jericho and then attacked by Big Show. He goes on to talk again about how that loss has only motivated him to Try Harder™ and to Never Give Up™ and all the usual boring Cena rhetoric that he spouts. Thankfully, he is interrupted by Daniel Bryan, who comes out and reminds us of his MITB match with CM Punk. CM Punk comes out, and they all make points about the potential outcomes of MITB, with John Cena essentially being the winner as a given, because he’s John Cena. This really hurts the value of that PPV since they’re already talking about Cena as the winner, and undermines the whole point of that match. Why have a match if everyone involved basically admits that John Cena is going to win? What’s the point other than showing us yet again that the scales are tipped in his favor at all times?
Thankfully, the promo got better with CM Punk and Bryan playing off of each other and involving the crowd. If this storyline develops to include Cena, it could potentially make every single fan in the audience go hoarse between “Yes”, “No” and “Let’s go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants. Not one to be out of the spotlight, Jericho then enters, and puts in his 2 cents. He comes out, and reminds us all that between the four of them, Jericho is one of the best catchphrase makers of all time. He then runs through all of his catchphrases that he’s had over the years, and says that he plans to win the match, and not let Cena cruise his way to a title shot. Then Kane and Big Show enter one after another, both to re-enforce the idea that they plan to win the match. They then get into a big brawl, and Show comes out on top, ostensibly as the victor. It’s an attempt to rectify the foregone conclusion that Cena will win, but really, the damage is done. They’re clearly trying to set up the many possible storylines that could develop between Punk/Bryan/Show/Cena/Jericho/Kane, but WWE is anything if predictable, and it’ll probably end up being a Punk/Cena match we’ll get in the future.
This is a strange match up. I don’t quite get the pairings other than the Tag Team champions against the #1 contenders The Primetime Players. They’ve developed all of the feuds in previous shows, specifically Smackdown, but as for the actual reasons they’re booked against each other, I’m drawing a blank. Why are Otunga and Cody Rhodes a team? No clue. Why are Santino and Christian buddies? Does holding a championship title make you instant best friends? It’s not clear, but it’s building for their respective matches at MITB. 8 man tag-team matches are never something I’ve been too big a fan of. Most of the time it’s unbalanced, and everyone involved is just used sparingly until the lot of them find some way to get hurt and then the good/bad guys win.
I had a hard time paying attention to the match because A, It was kinda boring, and B, AW’s voice was incredibly, ridiculously loud. I don’t know if he had a direct mic hooked up, but the dude was louder than Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and the audience combined. The guys voice boomed like he was Odin, and was announcing Ragnarok to all the peoples of Earth. Or maybe he temporarily siphoned the powers of Blackbolt, and his whispers don’t move mountains but his words can be heard clearly no matter where you are in the world. Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating, but the dude was crazy loud. Eventually, AW leads the Primetime Players away, because them leaving matches seems to be their thing now. Then Cody Rhodes exits too, leaving David Otunga alone with the rest of the other team. Brodus Clay then enters, and throws Otunga back into the ring to be Cobra’d by Santino. After Santino wins the match, they all take turns needlessly beating on Otunga. After ruthlessly destroying him, they all start dancing to Funkasaurus’ music, as little kids enter the ring. Meanwhile, Otunga writhes in agony. Funk is on a roll!
We then cut to Teddy Long dancing alone inside his dressing room, watching the match, which is exactly what I always thought he did, and it was hilarious to see my suspicions confirmed. Alberto Del Rio walks in, and begs for a title match, destiny, et all. Teddy informs him that the Board of Directors have made him the #1 contender, and given him a match at MITB, but that Teddy has given Del Rio a match tonight, and it’ll be a Teddy Long surprise, which I hope to god isn’t a sexual euphemism. Knowing Teddy Long, the Teddy Surprise is the same damn thing he always does, and is just a tag team match. Man, I really want Vickie back as GM, at least she was creative.
I remember watching this training montage between Vince McMahon and Shane. It was a fairly funny parody of Rocky and all the boxing movie/training montages you’ve ever seen. I loved seeing Vince becoming motivated to bulk up by his pure hatred of Stone Cold alone. I know a thing or two about hating things, and it’s inspiring to think that if you just hate someone or something enough, you can accomplish your goals, no matter how ridiculous, improbable, and pointless. Vince McMahon was a probably the best villainous character in the history of WWE, and boy, I sure do miss him. On a side note, Stephanie McMahon has aged REALLY well. She looks 10x hotter than I remember her being in the Attitude era. Lordy.
Teddy’s surprise turns out to not be a tag team match, but actually Del Rio matched up against Sin Cara. I’m actually surprised these guys haven’t wrestled before, because they’re both of luchador backgrounds. Del Rio actually makes quick work of Sin Cara, interrupting his ostentatious and stupid intro sequence, and then puts him in a cross armbreaker, ending the match before it starts. I like Alberto Del Rio crushing people. I like him winning cleanly, and I like him straight up being BETTER than other wrestlers who are forced on us. His talent is relatively underutilized, and dammit, he needs to have more promos, and we need to see more Ricardo Rodriguez actually wrestling. #Rudo forever.
After that match, we cut backstage to AJ and Daniel Bryan, who shows up with a rose in hand, trying to apologize to her for how he treated her in the past, saying he always cared about her. She calls him on his BS, says she sees through his transparent attempt to curry her favor for his match at MITB, and then bites off the head of the rose he gave her. No really, she bites off the head of the rose. Every week I keep wondering how they’re going to build on AJ’s “crazy chick” character angle, and every week she keeps doing something to up the ante, or at the very least, continue it in a believable fashion. What’s next? Does she start tearing up turnbuckles and eating chunks of the foam inside? Whatever they do, i’m enjoying it. Her character is fascinating right now, and she’s bringing a sliver of hope and legitimacy to the Diva’s division. Hopefully her becoming popular will continue this, and make it a trend. I know I want to see more scantily clad, attractive women actually wrestling competently, don’t you?
Then we return to the old recap of the HHH/Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar storyline, where we see HHH fail over and over at mind games or understanding basic assault charges. Tonight we were told we’d get a response to HHH’s proposition of a match to settle things at Summerslam. Paul Heyman shows up VIA satellite, and tells us that the decision will actually be made, face to face, at the 1000th episode of Raw. He continues to sum up his impressions of HHH’s intentions for the match between Lesnar and HHH. He basically says that this match will provide a reason for HHH to throw in the towel and become a CEO/COO/Whatever full-time, and cap off his career as being the “last of his kind”, or the “end of an era”, as he’s put it before. I think Heyman is mostly right, but I also think HHH is just kind of dumb, and doesn’t think things through in terms other than “I’m gonna beat you up and then that’ll be that”. Which I guess makes sense, since as a wrestler turned corporate executive, that’s about the only logic he’d apply to any transgression or disagreement he’d ever have, professional or otherwise. I’m guessing if a plumber overcharges HHH for 3 hours work, HHH pedigrees him into his bathroom tile and demands a price reduction, or sliding scale payment plan. If his cook makes him undercooked pasta, he scalds him with the boiling pasta water and demands perfectly al dente ravioli. HHH is that guy who went to the club and thought it was cool to give the bouncers shit, tried to fight them, and was confused when he wasn’t let back in next week.
I can’t think of the last time I saw an inter-gender Tag Team match, but holy crap how much does Raw reek of Teddy Long as GM so far? One hour in, and the only two real matches (ADR vs Sin Cara doesn’t count) are both Tag Team matches. Dude, seriously? We get it. You love tag teams. Please bring back John Laurinaitis, WWE Board of Directors, I’m begging you. We’ve seen Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus a few times now, and these guys are definitely learning to make each others moves look pretty good. They work together well, Sheamus’ moves look good on Ziggler, and Ziggler is pretty great at getting tweener heat from audiences. Eventually Dolph dodges a brogue kick and tags in Vickie. AJ quickly pins her, then grabs a mic and YES YES YES’s her way out of the ring. She’s then seen backstage looking for CM Punk, and catches him on the phone. After Punk doesn’t answer her immediately about who he’s talking to, she starts to go Overly-Possesive Girlfriend on him again, asking if he saw her match. He rebuffs her saying he was on the phone the whole time with his sister, and she starts to LOSE IT, and somehow manages to be crazy, creepy, and pitiful at the same time. Punk just shrugs and stands there, I laugh well through the entire commercial break, and the beat goes on.
Back from the break, Heath Slater is back, about to be jobbed to some former WWE Legend. They show a quick recap of all his previous losses, with bonus Three Stooges noises for every injury he took. He protests it, and starts saying how he’s not a clown. Yeah you guessed it, Doink The Clown then enters the ring, looking just as terrifying as I remember. Actually, he’s sort of dressed like a creepy clown version of Benjamin Franklin, and that thought alone will make my dreams really scary for a week at least. So they trade moves back and forth for a while, until shocker of shockers, Slater beats Doink! Then we’re treated to a really great surprise, and Diamond Dallas Frickin’ Page shows up, to the cheers of the crowd and me at home. He then drops a Diamond Cutter on Slater, and everyone loses their damn minds. I miss DDP, he should come back and put the Diamond Cutter on some chump every week, until he gets to Randy Orton. Then we’d get 10 minutes of them just countering each others identical finishers until one of them decides to give up. They’d be the unstoppable force and immovable object of wrestlers whose finishers come “out of NOWHERE”.
So let’s forget that these two were tag team champions and best friends as recently as a year ago, and focus on the particulars of this match. It’s a No-DQ match between them, essentially to build up the tension for their match at MITB. The both of them are considered “Monsters” now, and the both of them are relatively big men, whose main thing is being strong and feared. So their match is just an exercise in big slow dudes moving slowly and attempting moves that seem a bit too much for both of them. Big Show does a good job of making short work of Kane, further establishing him as a dominant force in the WWE. The match itself wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad either. Aside from the use of a chair though, I don’t get why it was No-DQ. I guess they needed to sell the idea that Kane was only barely beaten by Big Show, but to be honest, it didn’t do Kane any kind of favor with his portrayal as an effective wrestler. Unless he has someone quick to complement his move set, he seems really slow and relatively weak.
Then we cut to Teddy Long and Eve, who I had forgotten about entirely, but good lord does she look great in red, white and blue. Even though Eve is pretty, she’s still better as a backstage character than wrestler. Her character is one of the WWE female staples, that being: The Bitch. I’m not sure what her absence in the WWE was for, kayfabe or otherwise, but her return post-Laurinaitis is a bit superfluous. Is she still in a position of power? It’s something I’ll just have to guess at in continuing weeks. I’m guessing right now, her purpose is for us to just remember her, which seems apt, as that’s all Teddy seems to think, as he slaps a name tag on her. That’s his idea of a revenge for being made to wear a name tag and maids dress by the way.
Like dude, if you’re the GM, and somebody ridiculed you for weeks on end, FIRE THEM. But I digress, as we see Eve approach AJ. Eve makes fun of AJ, calling her a little girl and all those typical insults an older, jealous woman makes of a younger, hotter, more talented woman than themselves. AJ then goes 2-0 tonight, and calls Eve on all of her BS, and rightly accuses Eve of being a brown noser with nobody to brown nose, and no attention to gain from anyone. AJ then says she’ll show her and everyone else, just how to get attention. I’m presuming she means she’ll win another match, or challenge Eve to a fight, but maybe it’ll mean she’ll actually wrestle women of equal wrestling ability and create a viable women’s division? Either that or she’ll look directly into the camera and profess her love for me. Both would blow my mind equally at this point.
So every time I see Tyson Kidd on Raw, I make a game with myself, where I take a shot. Of course, this has never happened until last week, and usually my shot of alcohol gets all full of lint, excess cat hair and dead bugs from sitting so damn long. But this last month I’ve taken that shot, and tonight will be the second time. I also have a secondary rule, where if I see Tyson Kidd win a match, I finish the bottle of booze right then and there. The third rule I have, is if Tyson Kidd wins that match in under a minute, I drink all of the booze in the house. So tonight, after seeing Kidd defeat Tensai in under a minute, I drank every last drop of Jameson, Jager and Vodka I had. Strangely, it hasn’t kicked in yet ohwaitthereitgoes ohsfsnj dk lorfd tenzai ish fat urnd gonba habe wressle AJ I LOVE YOIIII ohhbbbb
Ahem.
Backstage, we see Jericho preparing for his match, and Daniel Bryan walks in wearing his jacket. They then argue about whose jacket is better (no really), and then decide that they must embarrass John Cena tonight. Daniel Bryan agrees with his catchphrase, which Jericho detests. Bryan continues Yes-ing, while Jericho continues his catchphrase, “Never EEEEEVER a-gain”, in a catchphrase-off that I can only describe as being as funny as it is weird. I know in reality they both stop the camera cuts away, but man how great would it be if they only communicated to each other in catch phrases? Just have the both of them come out and represent the apotheosis of wrestling heels, who say their catchphrase, destroy people, and then leave. Jericho already did the opposite of this when he returned, and didn’t say a damn word for 3 weeks straight, gaining heat off of everybody who wanted him to come back face. Daniel Bryan has pretty much built up his whole heel turn around his catchphrase, and already pretty much communicates solely in catchphrases, so why not try it out for a month? Make them a tag team called The Catchphrase Kings, and I’ll love you forever WWE. Returning from the break, Tyson Kidd gets attacked by Tensai in the locker room, because Tensai is a big fat whiny loser baby man. Then, we finally get to the main event of the night.
So yeah, our main event is, surprise, a tag team match. Teddy Long, you are the worst. Seriously.
The name tag is a photoshop, but it’s what you deserved Teddy.
Along with nearly every single match tonight being a tag team match, this Raw suffers from pre-PPV syndrome hard. Sometimes a PPV is the culmination of storylines and matches that occur naturally, and provide either an endpoint or a bullet point in a feud between wrestlers, but sometimes the case is like tonight, where the story and its booking are all there to serve the PPV, rather than the PPV serve the story and the booking. I had a hard time thinking why everyone was wrestling tonight, other than “Well, they will be at the PPV”. Not that I mind seeing Jericho, Bryan and Punk in a match together, but the reason for them being in a match with Cena is tenuous at best, and it only serves to undermine the previous feud that Punk and Cena had last year, as we saw them earlier just throw away all their history literally in a handshake. You could argue that it’s a noble thing to do between two faces, but it’s boring for me, and doesn’t adhere to Punk’s devil-may-care attitude, and comes off as fake to me, in a really wrong way.
All that being said, when you have so much good talent in the ring, it’s hard to have a boring match. Jericho and Daniel Bryan actually make a surprisingly good team, and do a great job of isolating Cena from his partner. But tonight, Robo-Cena is in full effect, and despite Jericho and Bryan really hitting him hard, he continues to kick out, and slowly build momentum, until he gets the tag to Punk. Punk jumps in and turns the momentum of the match, and Jericho and Cena battle outside the ring, disappearing up stage. Bryan gets a huge kick on Punk, and it looks like he was about to win cleanly for the second week in a row against Punk, until Punk counters and gets a huge superplex off the top rope. AJ then shows up, (duh), and Bryan starts to get a lead on Punk. AJ then paces around the ring, looking for something under the ring, until she pulls out a table. She carefully sets it up, and spends a long amount of time considering the table, slowly climbing the to the top of the turn buckle. It looks like she’s about to jump onto the table, although I’m clueless as to why, when suddenly Daniel Bryan jumps out of the ring, and pleads with her to not jump. CM Punk then comes up, to also convince her to not jump, and she kisses Punk. He stands there confused for a moment, and she shoves him into Daniel Bryan, and they both crash through the table. AJ starts Yes-ing, and we end on a shot of Bryan and Punk writhing in mutual confusion and agony.
It seems AJ has picked CM Punk as her object of affection, but is quick to jump to anger if ignored. Pushing Punk through that table is her way of putting you in the dog house, so to speak. The real thing to ponder is, why they both acted as if her jumping 4 feet onto a folding table was tantamount to a suicide attempt. Guys, she’s a trained wrestler remember? If she wants to jump through a table, let her jump. I’m sure she knows how to take a bump. The better ending would have been she jumps through the table, goes all Mick Foley and starts rolling around in the smashed bits of table, smiling in pleasure/pain, and we end as both Punk and Bryan stare in horror.
Also, what the hell happened to Cena and Jericho? Are they still fighting backstage? Do they just get out of camera shot and then go hit the showers and play grab ass? Maybe they’re secretly working together and the second they get backstage they high-five and go bro it out in the green room, eating chips and making fun of Kane. Or just maybe, they’re still back there, fighting each other during every moment they’re not on camera, and they’re waiting for AW to summon Odin with his God-Voice, and they shall be the Valkyries that bring about Ragnarok. That’d be better than the non-ending we got on Raw tonight. Even my Mom was asking if that was it, and she usually doesn’t even pay even half-attention to Raw at all.
So let me point some things out to you. If the WWE Universe ever gets to pick who the new GM of Raw and Smackdown is, for the love of god, please don’t pick Teddy. On a 2 hour show that had 7 matches, four of them were singles matches that ended in quick squashes in under 2 minutes, and everything else was long, boring tag team matches, with a main event that didn’t even have a real ending. The dude is TERRIBLE at his job, and literally anyone else is better than him. So please, don’t support Teddy. He is a bad GM. Vote for Vickie, she may be annoying, but she can at least book an entertaining show.
Those of us who grew up with the classic Disney films have had the joy (or maybe sorrow?) of seeing these stories turned into live-action flicks over the past several years. Quite possibly the best part of these remakes was the portrayal of the villains. Glenn Close as Cruella De Vil in the 1996 version of 101 Dalmatians, for example, made me decide I’d much rather work for the cynical, harsh editor Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. Also, Charlize Theron’s recent evil queen in Snow White & the Huntsman sparked in me a new appreciation for a villain I had otherwise thought rather shallow. Now it’s time to make way for some visible horns.
Those eyes could stare into your soul.
Set to release in 3D on March 14, 2014, Maleficent promises to share the other side to the 1959 animated classic Sleeping Beauty, this time focusing on development of Maleficent’s character. The official Disney statement said, “The film reveals the events that hardened her heart and drove her to curse the baby, Aurora” (LATimes). Directed by Robert Stromberg (production designer for Avatar and Alice in Wonderland) the cast is being led by Angelina Jolie, who has “already got her horns fitted” and has taken on the gutsy task of performing some of her own stunts. Jolie points out in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that Maleficent is a multi-layered character who has her strengths and weaknesses just like any other person:
I hope in the end you see a woman who is capable of being many things, and just because she protects herself and is aggressive, it doesn’t mean she can’t have other [warmer] qualities. You have to figure out the puzzle of what she is… It sounds really crazy to say that there will be something that’s good for young girls in this, because it sounds like you’re saying they should be a villain. [Maleficent] is actually a great person. But she’s not perfect. She’s far from perfect. (EW)
The film also stars Elle Fanning as Maleficent’s opposite, Princess Aurora, as well as Juno Temple, Harlto Copley, and Imelda Staunton. Production has already started in England, and apparently the Jolie-Pitt kids are making some trips to see their mother perform in all her robed glory.
Since Maleficent was always one of my favorite villains because she was just so purely dark and wicked, I am both curious and hesitant to see this production in its final release. I’m always interested in hearing the other side of the story; that’s just a reasonable, fair way to learn and interact with other people in life. However, I don’t believe that younger children should see this film, as their young minds are used to more black and white standards, and will not be able to fully grasp the situation of Maleficent’s proposed internal struggles and development. The nature of such a character is probably better saved for more mature audiences, such as teens on up, who can discuss and analyze that character and all her decisions and the impact they make.
Overall, for a character whom I believe most people thus far have considered 100% evil (I mean, really, who doesn’t? She invokes the powers of hell, which seems pretty darn evil), Maleficent definitely promises to shed some new light on this horned female; we’ll just have to wait to see if that light will give us some nourishing vitamin D or if it will leave our skin burned and peeling.
2012 is currently looking like a slam dunk for movies with the Dark Knight Rises hitting cinemas soon and Andrew Garfield swinging into action in The Amazing Spiderman. But our old friend Quentin Tarantino has been busy too. Not only is he prepping up his DjangoUnchained movie, he has also been working on getting this little beauty The Man with the Iron Fists to the silver screen.