Grizzly Review: The Hole

It’s been nine years since Joe Dante has directed a movie (2003’s Looney Tunes: Back in Action), and he hasn’t made a good movie since 1998’s Small Soldiers (another quick side note, if anyone ever insults Small Soldiers in my presence, you will not be pleased with the consequences; that is all) [Editor’s Note: That movie sucked. Do something.] Dante’s claim to fame was and always will be the classic 1984 horror/comedy Gremlins. Sure, by that time he had already directed the Jaws spoof Piranha, but Gremlins was really the thing that put him in the mainstream.

After that, he just kind of dropped off the face of the Earth. While he still directed some stuff, including 1990’s Gremlins 2: The New Batch, looking at his career, is there honestly one film that was as good as the original GremlinsThe ‘Burbs? Runaway Daughters? Matinee? All entertaining movies, sure, but not classic. [Editor’s Note: The ‘Burbs IS a classic. Consider that a correction.] Now, a decade after Dante’s last film, audiences are given The Hole, a blood and gore-lite horror film aimed at the bravest tween viewers.

Dane (Chris Massoglia) has just moved to the small town of Bensonville with his mother, Susan (Teri Polo), and his brother, Lucas (Nathan Gamble). Coming from Brooklyn, Dane and his family have moved around the country multiple times for his mother’s job, and have settled in Bensonville so she can work at a nearby hospital. Initially dreading his new life there, he soon meets his next door neighbor, the cute and fun, Julie (Haley Bennett).

The two become friends after Lucas discovers a mysterious hole in the basement. Guarded by numerous padlocks, the ominous pit has no apparent end. Anything that is dropped into the hole is immediately sucked in and never seen again. Spending most of their days attempting to figure out the origin and power of the hole, Dane, Lucas and Julie experience strange phenomena that tap into their deepest and darkest fears. It’s only after the sudden appearance of a little girl who climbs out of the hole do they realize that it’s the source of their fear and they have to stop it before any other malevolent spirits make their way out.

As one could theorize, The Hole essentially, The Door to Hell is In My Basement: The Movie. Julie even points this out at one point during the movie, something that validated my skepticism throughout. Aimed at a younger audience, The Hole is, for the most part, a pretty routine exercise for horror fans, but serves as a great introduction for children in their young adolescence, especially ones that have taken an interest in what goes bump in the night.

Treating its prepubescent with a little more respect than most kids’ movies do, The Hole can’t help but sometimes feel like a Nickelodeon Halloween special with a couple extra swear words. The characters aren’t written thinly, so to speak, but they’re written with an immediate sense of familiarity and predictability. We know this story, we know where it’s going, and we know how it’s going to end. Despite an initially original premise, The Hole is slowed down substantially by its insistence on appealing to a younger audience.

Joe Dante is a pretty good director, and there are some genuinely creepy moments in this movie, but as soon as things get a little too intense, a quick jump scare pulls whatever character that is in peril, out of said peril, and quickly moves on to the next scene. For instance, a wonderfully shot bathroom sequence that could have ended with something terrifying is cut short by a group of girls that walk in at just the right moment, literally tearing through the tension with their presence. The Hole is filled with moments like this and by the film’s 60th minute, it became a little annoying.

Much like other PG-13 horror films, The Hole never reaches its true potential. Then again, some of the great horror films of the 2000s have been PG-13 and this movie isn’t much more than an attempt at scaring younger kids without really “scaring” them, if you know what I mean. But more than any of that, what makes The Hole so unsatisfying is that it’s not terrible and it’s not very good either, it’s mediocre and repetitive. When there are literally hundreds of horror movies out every year, being mediocre is no longer an option.

Graphic Novel Review – Officer Downe

A simple tale involving a man who is a super cop, whose only goal in life is to fight injustice. This is Officer Downe, a bad ass law enforcer who is currently on a mission to stamp out all the illegal activities of Fortune 500, an infamous crime syndicate with animal heads who run things behind the scenes. Because of all the trouble Downe is causing them, the group enlist the aid of killer for hire Zen Master Flash and his team of highly trained assassins. Unfortunately for them, Officer Downe is no ordinary policeman.

Continue reading Graphic Novel Review – Officer Downe

‘Parks and Recreation’ Returns, Season 5 Clips

At long last, the waiting comes to an end. In a matter of hours, Parks and Recreation will finally return from what has seemed like the longest hiatus in the history of television. Okay that might be a slight exaggeration but come on – I feel like Ron Swanson as he walked into the diner asking for all the eggs and bacon they had. I’ve been starving myself waiting for that first bite of sweet Swanson ass. Hmmm… this is getting a little creepy now.

I’ll be the first to admit that NBC does a lot of things wrong. The Olympics, The Today Show, NBC News in general, canceling shows before they even have a chance (this is my third mention of Kings in a week), their sometimes pain in the ass relationship with sites like YouTube; but one thing they do right is put out videos for their sitcoms. Granted you aren’t going to find them unless you are actively looking for them but hey, what do I know? And then you find them and they won’t embed and you spend a maddening amount of time trying to figure out why and find no answer so just click on the link and enjoy the trailer for Season 5.

Season 5 trailer

and then there is this…

“The perm must wait, Autumn. The perm must wait.” There’s a reason this woman was elected to public office, she is just so wise. Plus, I think we can all agree that any scene that involves Ron Swanson and food is bound to be awesome. Especially if that food has not quite made it to the “food” state yet.

If those two nuggets of goodness aren’t enough for you, or you just really want to know who Andy would sleep with given the chance, check out this Google Talk with Amy Poehler, Adam Scott, Aubrey Plaza, and Chris Pratt.

Remember the Hamster Dance that was pretty much the first viral and completely annoying thing on the internet? Let me introduce you to it is much cooler and not quite as obnoxious cousin, Drunk Ron Swanson. I made it 674 seconds and feel like I might have a seizure at any moment.

We’ll use any excuse to use this Gif again…

Ron Swanson Dance

Hopefully I’ll recover in time to tune in to Parks and Recreation on NBC, Thursday nights at 9:30/8:30c. Waffle sundaes for everyone!

Revolution: It Doesn’t Quite Smack of It… Yet

When you combine transportation by horses, bows and arrows and swords, and small villages that farm produce and raise sheep, you would think that you’re stepping into a historical drama, possibly one from Medieval Europe.  However, this is actually the setting of our future, according to one new TV show.

The much-anticipated pilot of J.J. Abrams’ Revolution (directed by Jon Favreau) was shown on NBC two days ago, and the response has been mixed. Some say that the concept of the show is fascinating, that instead of humanity being threatened by zombies or infection or alien invasion, we have to face the reality of living without electricity.  Others say that everything else in the show falls well below expectations.

My thoughts?  I think we have to wait and see.

I wholly agree with those who think the concept of Revolution is unique.  After the scores of technological dystopias that have come our way the last several years, this idea of living off the land without electrical power is appealing.  The only other time I remember seeing any idea similar to this in current popular culture was in The Hunger Games, and even then some of the Districts still had electricity.

Also, maybe it’s because I built scenery for plays during my college years, but I found the effort put into the set for Revolution to be splendid.  While it’s a bit funny to see a cul-de-sac turned into a mini village with corn growing out of the ground and someone planting herbs in a broken-down Toyota, it’s also consistent and realistic with the situation in the show.  It’s also terrifying to see famous American landmarks like Wrigley Field in Chicago being overcome with crawling vines.  But I’m sure that’s what would happen in a world without electricity, so the image fits very well.  Finally, any CGI used is not very noticeable, which can be difficult for some shows to achieve.

ecorazzi.com
The foliage-laden city in Revolution reflects the early concept art

Small touches in Revolution really help to cement its presence into the brain as well, such as a “parking in rear” sign placed at the entrance to The Grand Hotel, now turned into a bar.  A computer power symbol is cleverly tucked into the show’s logo.  Charlie, the female protagonist played by Tracy Spiridakos, stores various items she has collected over the years, including an iPod, in a vintage Return of the Jedi tin lunch box.  That’s pretty hard to forget, especially for all the science fiction fans bound to be watching.

Despite all of these production qualities, the script felt lacking in several points, especially in regards to exposition and background story.  The pilot starts with a voice over describing very clearly the current state of affairs as we see images of the decrepit United States.  I felt like I was being talked to like a child who didn’t understand what 2+2 was.  Fortunately, the character voicing the lines was soon shown on screen, and he was indeed a teacher talking to a few students.  Lead-ins to shows can be tricky for the writers, but this one definitely felt awkward.  At another point, I was wondering why it mattered that we were watching Charlie and a few others sit around a campfire talking when the same exposition could have been revealed in a more creative manner.  In addition, many of the lines are not that compelling.

(Courtesy of slate.com)
I can’t figure out her mood.  Confused?  Worried?  Not thinking?

My main concern was with the acting and character development.  The “bad guy” did not feel intimidating to me, nor even the least bit creepy.  The village doctor dating Charlie’s father felt overly grim , and Charlie herself did not seem to have the ability to show emotion other than grief or frustration.  Spiridakos delivered her lines well for the most part, especially the ones where she started to cry, but otherwise I didn’t agree with her father’s character who called her “strong just like her mom.”  Spiridakos may play Fallout, but despite her involvement in that digital wasteland, I did not get a vivid sense of who her character was in this current wasteland of Revolution.  The only two character fates I was truly curious about were Charlie’s brother Danny, and an ex-Algebra teacher named Grace.  Their stories made me care to want to see the next episode.

The Revolution pilot did end with a few twists that made me tilt my head a bit and say, “Well, that’s interesting.”  The show does have promise, and I find it very difficult, if not hasty, to judge an entire series on just the first episode, especially when stories, characters, acting, and production tend to improve over the course of a show’s life.  As it stands, Revolution may not actually start one on TV, but it could have a very good chance to do so with a little improvement.

Courtesy of tvequals.com
This fight was pretty fun to watch, though.

Dredd 3D – 2 AM Text Review

My buddy Aaron is a bartender for a certain movie theater here in Michigan, and on occasion, the theater will have advanced employee screenings for movies the Wednesday night prior to the film’s release. These are his thoughts on DREDD…

Aaron: First of all, a drug that makes your brain thinks its moving at 1% of natural times gives a movie a chance for some pretty impressive camera work. – 1:40 AM

Aaron: Add in the fact that it’s 3D, even if it is just ok, makes it even more impressive. – 1:41 AM

Aaron: Great action, great acting by the leads (Urban, Thirlby, and Hedley), ehhhh acting by everyone else. – 1:43 AM

Aaron: Plot took some convincing with some of the attributes of the significant roles. I guess if it’s set in the future we’re supposed to believe anything. – 1:46 AM

Aaron: Go see see it. I’ll give it 4 out of 5 Dredds Boob count: kinda 2…? It was blurry and in the background and real quick. Coulda used some slo-mo. – 1:53 AM

Aaron: Now hook me up with a picture of me in a Dredd helmet! Halloween is coming and I need some motivation.  – 1:53 AM

Everything to Know About ‘Dredd’ for This Weekend

This maybe the entire collection of Dredd videos around, but I think most of you will really enjoy this information before you go out this weekend. Got Features on the gear used in Dredd, Slo mo filming, interviews with the cast and crew. Got the best trailers and clips I could find which will really get you hooked on Dredd. They also made a Prequel Motion comic which really helps to understand what happens in the film. So watch the videos down below and check out Dredd this weekend.

The Best of Dredd Features

This has a great selection of features on the film. The Gear one in particular is fascinating to anyone who is interested in how they made all of Dredd‘s stuff (No CGI) I really want the law master. Great look at how they used some really good camera tech, 4000 FPS Cameras which is amazingly fast. The Prequel Comic is the what happens to MA-MA before the events in the film and help to explain why she does what she does.

Dredd’s Gear

Dredd – From the People Who Made Him

Dredd 3D – How They Make Slo-Mo Scenes

Dredd 3D – Prequel Motion Comic

The Best Trailers

I really liked the first trailer that came out, and we had quite a bit of excitement over its release. The next trailer though is my favorite trailer around, got some great lines from Dredd and the music really works well, plus it is super action packed which demonstrates Dredd really well. And lets face it “Perps were uncooperative” is just really funny…

Dredd 3D Official Trailer #1

Dredd 3D Official Trailer #2

The Best Clips

I promise these are the last videos. We have the clip of Karl Urban saying the famous line “I am the Law” and does it rather well. Got that Red Band scene where people’s faces get shot up (Warning might be graphic). Lastly a scene which I think helps to understand Anderson, plus another deadpan line from Dredd.

Dredd – I am The Law

Dredd Red Band Slo-Mo Clip

Dredd – Peach Trees