Hemsworth Is The Huntsman In Snow White

The role that Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp and Viggo Mortensen all passed on has now been claimed by the Mighty Thor – Chris Hemsworth. He will star in Snow White and the Huntsman along with Kristen Stewart.

Hemsworth will of course play said Huntsman and Stewart will play perhaps the ugliest Snow White there could have ever been. She has the face of a rodent and I stand by that claim no matter what anyone says. So don’t anyone challenge me on it. Here is a plot synopsis, which of course could be completely different by the time a trailer is released:

An updated take on the Brothers Grimm tale, “Snow White and the Huntsman” follows Snow White (Kristen Stewart) after The Evil Queen (Charlize Theron) calls upon The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth), to try to kill her. The Huntsman, who is haunted by the death of his wife by a white wolf, goes off to kill the innocent princess but then has a change of heart. He decides to mentor her and teach her to fight off The Evil Queen, thus turning her into a legendary heroine. –MovieNewz

I’m not sure what to make of this movie at all, but I can’t blame Hemsworth for taking the role. After Thor he’s going to be all over the place. He’s already set to star in Joss Whedon’s Cabin in the Woods and of course the Avengers. He is also starring in the remake of Red Dawn (filmed locally) which has already completed filming. The sky is the limit for this guy.

Someone try and dispute that!

Marvel Comic Review: X-men Legacy #248: Age of X Aftermath

This issue was a must, with everyone being left without any closure and wondering what the after effects of the Age of X would have on our favorite mutants. I also wondered what the heck happened to Legion at the end? Didn’t Xavier say they didn’t know where he was? How would they deal with him? Would anyone smack Dr. Nemesis in the face for dropping the ball on his treatment on Legion? I would say all of that was answered in this issue for the most part.

Continue reading Marvel Comic Review: X-men Legacy #248: Age of X Aftermath

Straw Dogs: Remaking a Classic…

In 1971 Director Sam Peckinpah released a movie called Straw Dogs. It was based off of the novel The Siege of Trencher’s Farm, written in 1969 by Gordon Williams. The film sparked controversy with concerns over the rise of violence in film. It didn’t help that it came out the same year as movies like A Clockwork Orange, The French Connection, and Dirty Harry, which all received similar criticism. In today’s film world, filled with stylized violence and gratuitous bloodshed, it’s surprising how well this actually holds up.

The movie was a story about David Sumner, an American intellectual (Dustin Hoffman) who moves with his wife Amy (Susan George), back to her hometown in England. Once there he becomes enamored with his work and she gets bored. She starts to flirt with some of the locals they’ve hired to fix up there house, one of which is an old boyfriend of hers. The men see Dave as a coward and start to push him bit by bit until things escalate out of control…

This movie was my first introduction to Sam Peckinpah back when I watched in High School and still my favorite of his films. It gets down to base of what a man is capable of when forced into a bad situation.

Well the movie is now being remade by someone with decidedly less pedigree, but not a terrible track record – Film Critic turned Director Rod Lurie who is most famous for The Contender. Cast in the leads are titans of mediocrity, repaired for some reason after Superman ReturnsJames Marsden and Kate Bosworth. And quite frankly, I just don’t think they have the acting chops of Hoffman and Susan George.

What is interesting though is the cast that surrounds them, namely our villain – Alexander Skarsgård, who is best know to True Blood fans as the Vampire Sheriff Eric Northman. For me, he is the most likeable part of True Blood (Well, aside from Deborah Ann Woll anyway —> ).

Here is the new trailer…

Ok, so OBVIOUSLY it doesn’t look as epic as the original. It’s no longer set in rural countryside England, but now instead in “Small Town USA”, where there is never a shortage of rednecks and idiots. However, 2 of the best cast pieces aren’t even shown in the trailer, and that’s James Woods (Casino, The Hard Way, Cat’s Eye) and Boyd Crowder Walton Goggins (The Shield, Predators, Justified).

Also appearing will be Prison Break’s Dominic Purcell and recently unemployed star of The Chicago Code, as well as another ‘Gone too Soon’ type of show The Black Donnelys,  Billy Lush. Overall, cast looks good even if Cyclops the kid from Disturbing Behavior Marsden isn’t my favorite actor, he’s not terrible.

I have no doubt this will pale in comparison with the original, but I’m pretty sure I’ll see it anyhow. It is set for a US release September 16th of this year.

Review: Smallville – Season 10/Series Finale

It took a few minutes to sink in before I realized that it was the last time I would hear the Smallville theme song playing at the beginning of a new episode because tonight it happened: the series finale. I’ve been with the show many years, through the highs and the lows. Of course there were going to be terrible episodes I would despise over the course of the show and certain directions they took continuity that I don’t agree with but Smallville still remains one of my favorite shows of all time after ten seasons.

The episode opens with Chloe telling a child a story and then flashes back seven years earlier with Apokolips inexorably heading towards Earth…then the typical commercial break and theme song opening as I wait in anticipation!

Continue reading Review: Smallville – Season 10/Series Finale

Hasslehoff + Piranha + 3D = OMFG

If there was anything that could put Piranha 3DD over the top for best worst movie ever, it would be this bit of news from IGN:

Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff has been cast in the latest water-terror film, Piranha 3DDDimension Films has announced.

The action star/recording artist/author/pop-culture phenomenon joins a cast that already includes Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Paul Scheer, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka and David Koechner.

Piranha 3DD is set at a water park that becomes infested with the infamous flesh-eating fish. We don’t yet know what role The Hoff will play, but the film is set for release on November 23.

Man, I can’t wait to see who Hasselhoff plays in this movie. Perhaps an exterminator who specializes in destroying prehistoric piranha? Maybe a water park mogul? Hell I’d even be satisfied with a singer who is adored by the people of Germany at this point. Maybe we’ll even get to see him in a scene where he’s drunk and mowing down a big ol’ fish sandwich. 

Either way, if that didn’t make you want to see this piece of cinematic art in the theater on day 1, then you are not a human and have no soul to speak of. However the picture below will most likely suck the living soul out of your body into the disgusting black hole that is the Hoff’s man thong.


Fright Night: Doctor Who, Checkov, and Vampires…

Finally! Finally there is a trailer for the reboot of 1985’s vampire tale, Fright Night! With an August 2011 release it certainly took them long enough. The original Fright Night had some pretty cheesy moments to be sure, but Chris Sarandon looked great in his vampire form, and put on a great performance as Jerry Dandridge; the smooth talking vampire next door. Roddy McDowell was more than superb in his role of Peter Vincent the Great Vampire Killer, and his role is now filled by ‘Doctor Who’ star: David Tennant.


The premise of the movie is simple yet fun, which is all you really need from a vampire movie in my opinion:

Charley Brewster is a regular kid with the normal problems of a teenage life, but his problems only get bigger as his new neighbor Jerry moves in. Due to the urging of his friend Ed and some snooping of his own Charley deduces that Jerry is in fact a vampire. And what’s worse is that Jerry knows that Charley knows… and even more worse no one believes Charley.

Also, you might recognize our hero Charley, played by Anton Yelchin who has made a name for himself the last couple years with roles like Chekov in Star Trek and as a young Kyle Reese in Terminator: Salvation. Kid is up and coming!

I’m thinking that looks pretty damned good. It can’t surpass the original no matter how cheesy it was, but this new one I am looking at as a completely different film, rather than a step by step remake. It looks like a hybrid of Disturbia and The Lost Boys to tell you the truth – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Colin Farrell looks like he was born to play a vampire and I initially has misgivings with him being cast in the role, but it seems like he is back in demand with Fright Night, Horrible Bosses and the new Total Recall all set to come out in the near future. I was disappointed we weren’t given a glimpse of Tennant as Peter Vincent, but I suppose it’s good to not spoil everything with a trailer. I can even live with Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin’ Fogel) being cast as Evil Ed, because lord knows the original played by Stephen Geoffreys was a bit annoying at times. And Geoffreys has had an interesting filmography since Fright Night (Ahem! Porn!)…

I’m interested to know what all of my fellow Fright Night fans think of the new trailer. Worth seeing or not? I’m pumped for it in a big way, a big reason being that Hollywood has been dropping the ball on Vampires in general since the Twilight craze. True Blood is even hard for me to watch, but it’s a hell of a lot better than Twilight.

Sound off below people!

Conveyors of Common Sense…

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