Monday Night Raw Review: 4-25-2011 WWE DRAFT NIGHT!

Tonight is the night! Draft night! This week’s Raw starts off with quite a bang: a 20 man Battle Royale is already in full swing to determine whether Raw or Smackdown gets the first draft pick.

Mayhem ensues for about 15 minutes as it boils down to Evan Bourne and Mason Ryan vs Big Show and Kofi Kingston as the final four. In the end, Big Show proves to be too much as he eliminates both Raw wrestlers. Smackdown gets the first pick and the selection is…..

John Cena!

I’m so glad that Cena will be off of Raw. Now Miz just has to get drafted to Smackdown and the most boring rivalry in the history of the WWE can finally be out of my sight. At least until Extreme Rules, at which point I’ll then be rooting for Morrison to win. And I’m not even a Morrison fan.

The first of many assholes in the Raw lineup

Since we’re talking about Morrison, the man who attacked him after a match last week comes out for some heel action. Truth goes on about how the fans can suck it and how they failed him. Apparently Truth rapped and danced just to make the fans happy and not himself. He drives the point home by asking an imaginary boy named “Little Jimmy” a whole bunch of rhetorical questions. It was quite hilarious and then Morrison runs out to shut his face.

R Truth talking to an invisible Little Jimmy. Classic.

Right before commercial we are treated to a preview of next week’s show in Miami, which will feature The Rock’s birthday party… don’t know exactly how I feel about that one. I guess as long as the Rock is there it will be entertaining enough.

The next match is a Diva’s competition that will determine the next draft selection, featuring Eve Torres vs Layla.

Get this girl a title shot… such beauty is wasted otherwise

Michelle McCool joins her down at ringside, and as Smackdown has shown us, Laycool has been having some problems. As the match comes to a close, Michelle talks some shit to Layla and Eve takes advantage to pin her, getting Raw the next pick. That pick for Raw iiiiiiisssss…..

Rey Mysterio

The next match is Kofi Kingston vs Sheamus for a pick. I would assume every match is for a pick at this point. The match seemed brief with Sheamus getting laid out by two head kicks from Kofie and pinned for another Smackdown pick. This was really surpising and I have to say so far Smackdown is doing very well…..

Randy Orton to Smackdown.

Once we get back from commercial we are subjected to yet more Michael Cole nonsense as he squares off against Jim Ross. King is of course in JR’s corner, with Swagger in moron’s corner once more.

This guy might as well suck it.

This is a monumental waste of time for the most part. The only satisfying parts being JR beating up on Cole and making him bleed from his lip pretty good. Swagger of course interferes but it’s Lawler to the rescue as he takes out both Swagger and Cole, Cole getting whacked a few times with a belt from the King. Afterwards the Raw GM declares that the tag match between these four at Extreme Rules will be a Country Whipping Match. That is extreme….

Next we get more verbal vomit from that moron The Miz. Instead of describing the useless shit he said I thought I’d feature some stupid Miz expressions.

The next match is between Dolph Zigler and Randy Orton for two draft picks, Orton freshly picked up by Smackdown. The match itself was pretty entertaining but seemed short lived as Randy Orton breaks out of a quick pin by Zigler and RKO’s him to win two more draft picks for Smackdown. This is getting ridiculous for Raw, but it’s definitely shaking things up which is the point. After a short interruption by CM Punk and a commercial break we get to see the two picks for Smackdown:

Mark Henry and Sin Cara

I was pretty shocked by the Sin Cara pickup because he had such a short stint on Raw. Smackdown is really getting the heavy hitters at this point. Raw needs to win this next battle for two more picks, between Wade Barrett and Rey Mysterio. After another quick yet decent match, Rey seals the win with a 619 and a top rope finisher on Barrett. His victory leads to these next two picks:

The Big Show and Alberto Del Rio

It was good to see Raw pick up a couple of heavy hitters, because losing Orton and Cena was pretty huge. But Raw has one more chance to make one more decent acquisition. The final match of the night is a six man tag match to determine the final pick. For Raw we have the team of Miz, Del Rio and CM Punk.

I can’t help but like this team

For Smackdown is Cena, Mark Henry and Christian. I like this mix up because it’s none too often you see Cena and Del Rio in the same match or CM Punk and Christian. They gave a good physical finale for us that ended with not only another heel turn but a completely stupid last “random” draft pick. Mark Henry is the one who turned heel, taking out Cena and Christian both resulting in The Miz giving Cena the Skull Crushing Finale and the winning pin. As we frantically wonder who will be coming to Raw it turns out to be…..

Cena?

Somehow I feel cheated and disgusted. Thanks Raw. I know the whole thing is scripted but how incredibly random the selection must be if Cena gets picked both first and last. Lame. I can only hope Extreme Rules this Sunday doesn’t follow suit with a dog crap ending. Tune back in tomorrow as more draft picks occur during the day, and comment below to tell us what you think of the new picks from this year’s draft!

AMC’s ‘The Killing’: Episodes 1 to 5 – Suspect List

Through 4 weeks and 5 episodes The Killing has given us a murder mystery full of political intrigue and family drama. That, and a wide array of suspects. A classic ‘who done it’ type that has the patience to build the story up for long enough, so that a one point or another, we’ll have to look at everyone.

The show started off with a missing girl and a police investigation. What was initially thought to be a prostitution exchange gone wrong lead Seattle police Detective Sarah Linden to a Mr. Stan Larsen. The man she assumed was in the fields with a young lady the evening prior. They turn out to be very wrong as the reason they were led to him in the first place, the credit card, was in the possession of his daughter – Rosie, who no one has seen for a few days. As Stan frantically searches the city for his daughter, Detective Linden, and her soon to be replacement – Det. Stephen Holder – find a car in the lake. In the trunk, they find Rosie.

The murder of Rosie Larsen is really no closer to being solved than in was at the end of the pilot, but Detective Sarah Linden’s suspect pool is growing…

Since the discovery of the body, and through 5 episodes, we have seen several suspects introduced. People ranging from fellow students and school faculty, all the way up to city officials. So, let’s start at the top.

Rosie’s body was found in the trunk of a campaign car for City Councilman Darren Richmond who is running for Mayor. The car was reported stolen a few days prior, but that doesn’t clear anyone. Here are the most likely suspects…

Darren Richmond – The almost perfect politician. A widower whose intentions are true and who is refusing to exploit the Larsen family even if it means he’ll lose the election. That’s not very believable. It’s easy to point a cynical finger at him as the viewer because he seems so squeaky clean. Aside from his secret relationship with Gwen, he appears to be the most morally grounded character on the list.

Gwen Eaton – Darren’s right-hand man – err- woman. Aside from their torrid love life, she is only ever shown working towards getting Richmond elected. And while Jamie is sure she is the leak in the campaign, Darren seems to sharp for that. There is something suspicious about her though, and I’m sure she’ll have some secrets pouring out any episode now…

Jamie Wright – The easy pick from this bunch. From episode one he saw Rosie’s death as nothing more than an opportunity to cement the campaign and advance his own career. He seems pretty morally ambiguous. The motive though seems absent as far as connections to Rosie.

Also within the political spectrum, Richmond’s enemies, people who benefit from seeing Richmond’s name tarnished.

Mayor Lesley Adams – The dirty Mayor, easy on crime – easier on big business. It’s clear that the only thing he cares more about than money is his legacy. And losing the election to a Do-Gooder like Richmond would not be good for said legacy. It’s not beyond the realm of believability to see him hiring someone to connect a murder to the Richmond name.

Councilwoman Ruth Yitanes – Now here is a real politician. She’s a long shot to be out killer, but she’s too involved with both Richmond and Adams to be ignored. She is greedy and conniving, and her husband employees a lot of people…

So it was Richmond’s campaign where the cops looked first, but they quickly changed focus to Rosie’s school…

Sterling Fitch – The best friend. The stupid best friend any how. Here she is, lying to the cops about where Rosie is, and every confrontation with anyone ends with her in tears. She was obviously jealous of Rosie, that why she wore Rosie’s wig when Kris and Jasper ran a train on her in the basement. But this crime seems a little brutal for her to have done…alone anyhow.

Jasper Ames – Here is the kid EVERYONE wants to be guilty. He is a spoiled rich, pompous little ass. He treats other people like toys for him to play with and discard. He has no respect for women of any kind, but seems deathly afraid of men that his daddy’s lawyer can’t control…including his father. This may well be our killer even though the evidence has pushed him from view for the moment.

Kris Echols – Jasper’s best friend. I guess. I don’t think Jasper has real friends, but this scumbag is pretty close. He seems to have run his course, but if things come back around with Jasper, he could be involved as well.


Schools aren’t just full of kids though, there are Custodians and Teachers there as well…

Lyndon Johnson Rosales – The pervey janitor. He liked to watch the kids having sex in the school basement. Yes he’s a perv, but I doubt he’s our killer.

Bennet Ahmed – That brings us to Rosie’s English teacher – Bennet. Over the last 60 or so minutes of showtime everything has pointed to this beacon of education. We find out he married the youngest daughter from Growing Pains one of his old students, and he wrote notes back and forth with more than one of his other female students. There were also allegations of misconduct from his old school where no charges were drawn as the girl in question was mentally handicapped. He is who the show wants you to think is guilty, but it’s just too early to tell…

And then there are the Wild Card picks. A few characters that seem to have no motive at all, but with 8 episodes left, who knows what’ll be uncovered.

Belko Royce – Stan Larsen’s right hand man at the moving company. Plenty of talk about ‘the old days’ which, while it hasn’t been explained yet, sounds ominous. He and Stan were obviously into something illegal. And while I don’t see Stan as a viable contender, Belko seems pretty gung-ho about collecting info on the case – perhaps to deflect suspicion from himself.

Michael Ames – Jasper’s dad. Said to have enough money to buy whatever he wants, perhaps he had Rosie killed. Maybe she overheard something she wasn’t supposed to. Anyhow, any one who could raise a kid like Jasper can’t be all good.

Det. Stephen Holder – Ok, not officially on the suspect list, but Linden doesn’t trust him, and neither do most of the audience to this point. He may or may not have both drug and gambling problems. Or maybe he’s on the take? The Lt doesn’t seem to have any faith in him either. Kris calling him out for his drug habit and the envelope of cash from the last episode makes you think there may be something there…

Mitch Larsen – So long as we’re drawing comparisons to Twin Peaks, how crazy would it be if the reason her mother is taking this so hard is because she is responsible? Unlikely, but not impossible.


So the question remains – Who killed Rosie Larsen? for a more In-Depth list, check out AMC’s Suspect Tracker. BUT FIRST, take a second to vote on out poll. Thanks.

Scum of the Week – Lindsay Lohan

Hopefully this article won’t just be a new celebrity going to jail each week, but that’s just how it turned out. A chronic scum sucker is finally going back where she belongs for 120 days to be exact.

"God Bless you... OH! Shit, you're crying aren't you?"

Yes, Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to jail time according to OTRC, and is reportedly ‘angry’ about it. I’d be angry too if I was caught red handed walking out a store with a $2,500 necklace that I forgot I was wearing. Actually if I had “accidently” done that. I’d have already been in jail for 120 days if not more, and been released already. Lohan being a Hollywood scumbag however, gets to drag it out for about a year before finally getting what any other thief would have received.

So good riddance for awhile Ms. Lohan. I’m sure this will only help your career after your release, because we all know this society rewards it’s scum most handsomely. We should probably get her a medal after she gets out of jail, but unfortunately Grizzly Bomb doesn’t give out medals to SCUM!

Review: HBO’s Game of Thrones, Episode 2 – ‘The Kingsroad’

What a long week it was waiting for another episode of what is now my favorite ongoing show. A Game of Thrones started right where the last episode left off: Daenerys is now wife and “Khalessee” to Khal Drogo, and Bran is now unconscious indefinitely due to a nasty fall he took from last episode.

The Kingsroad.... not much of a road.

Continue reading Review: HBO’s Game of Thrones, Episode 2 – ‘The Kingsroad’

Transformers 3 – Shockwave Revealed

I’m a big Transformers fan. Loved the 80’s cartoons, the animated movie, the comic books, and the first Movie. The second movie was a terrible monstrosity, and I was confident the third movie Dark of the Moon wasn’t going to suck, but after seeing the first trailer I’m not so sure. It kind of reminded me of the alien invasion from the movie Skyline… and that’s not good because that movie sucked six cans of shark shit.

The only glimmer of hope I now have is that Shockwave is one of the main villains of this movie. He was always entertaining in the cartoon and comics; he was the Decepticon in charge on Cybertron while the others fought the Autobots on Earth.

Even more good news is that there is finally a picture of him in the form of a promotional banner for Dark of the Moon. He looks pretty true to the animated version, but being slightly Bay-ified too. Check out the banner below:

This banner is just a teaser before the next trailer premieres on April 28th – next week. Let’s hope the trailer doesn’t disappoint too much. Then again the Revenge of the Fallen trailer didn’t and look what happened with that movie.

Conveyors of Common Sense…

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