Apparently Raw continues to be a ratings king on Monday nights and averages more than 5 million viewers a week. But that doesn’t mean it’s beyond reproach. I was an avid wrestling fan, even after that young age when you figure out it’s fake, or after they basically came out and told everyone that it is rigged. However I continued to watch it due to my love of the wrestlers, which I considered actors at this point, and the athleticism they display week after week. The matches may be rigged, and plenty of hits are fake – but a lot of the things they do would most definitely hurt like hell.
I stopped watching wrestling awhile after Rock turned heel, but before the fall of WCW. After that it took a long time for me to garner any interest in it. My brother finally had me watching once again, nearly ten years later. Much had changed but I readily embraced it once more, remarking how much the business and the wrestlers themselves had changed. Some changed for the better and some for worse. I could never recapture what I felt as a youth, but after watching my first Royal Rumble in about a decade I came pretty close.
It’s now been going on three years since I’ve returned as a wrestling spectator, but I’ve noticed after a year and a half how repetitive and stale the whole thing has become, on Raw in particular. I don’t ever remember the current champion competing on the weekly show, except on rare occasions. There would be maybe one Championship Title match on Raw per year, and that was a big maybe. Now the Champion wrestles pretty much every single week and sometimes against the very person they are scheduled to face in the monthly pay per view! (albeit in a tag team match.)
The whole point behind the Champion never wrestling on the weekly show or against the PPV opponent was simple: The anticipation and excitement was so much better when they just talked smack every week, then the pay per view was the big payoff. Raw has completely destroyed this and the show suffers because of it.
The feuds are another thing that really kill Raw for me. We have to watch the same wrestlers fight one another each week and then again in a pay per view. Sometimes it goes to two pay per views! Just recently Randy Orton fought CM Punk at Wrestlemania, then fought him the following Monday and now a third time at Extreme Rules. For all of the supposed superstars in the stables of both brands of WWE, we see the same ones every week on Raw. Wrestling at this point is storytelling, so why don’t the writers do something creative and write in a decent storyline for the wrestlers they hardly use each week.
I understand the supposed reasoning behind having the champion compete most every week before the pay per view and the use of the same matches every week. It’s just to satisfy the fans in attendance and make their ticket money worth their while by seeing every main superstar in action. I understand but don’t like it. In the meantime I still watch Raw every week and keep complaining every week because nothing changes and we get more of the same over and over and over and over… you get the point.
I just how many fans out there feel the same way I do and watch begrudgingly each week in hopes of something new. What will it take for Raw to become better than what it is? A ratings drop? Fan petitions? I know they won’t be holding this fan’s interest much longer so I hope they do something sooner rather than later. But until then, I’ll still faithfully write a review each week until I can no longer!
After last night’s so-so Extreme Rules pay per view, its onward to Raw for The Rock’s birthday!
In a very classy move to start things off, Raw runs a promo to commemorate September 11th what with scumbag number one Osama Bin Laden being destroyed yesterday. Then we get treated to Lilian Garcia singing the national anthem! Happy Birthday Rock and Happy Deathday Osama!
The first person gracing us with his presence is the man himself, The Rock. What starts out as a full on Rock rant that we’ve seen plenty of times before, gets interrupted by the GM and Michael Cole. The GM wants an apology and so does the little Jack-bag Bitch Michael Cole since Rock has disrespected him over the years. The moron even had the audacity to wear a Boston Celtics jersey in Miama, so you can’t be surprised that he got his ass Rock Bottomed with a second course of People’s Elbow.
We were supposed to get a match between the now arch enemies John Morrison and R-Truth, but Truth decided to beat Morrison’s ass before he even got to the ring. Thanks Truth, maybe invisible little Jimmy should teach you some restraint so our time isn’t wasted.
We definitely got our share of eye candy. Maryse was participating in a match on Raw since I can’t even remember, along with recently drafted and my dream girl Kelly Kelly. The match however, didn’t get very far before the hog that is Kharma (Awesome Kong) made her way to the ring. It looked as if she was going for Kelly, but instead goes after the already downed Maryse. I will say, Maryse still looks hot getting her ass beat!
At first I could have cared less about Kharma because I’m so used to a group of extremely good looking divas who compete each week. None of them save Beth Phoenix are actually imposing, so that is where I hope Kharma adds some diversity and a threat to all of the hot divas. She may not be pretty to look at, but that’s not the point. She is there to make the divas division credible again by providing us with at least a decent storyline where there is actually someone to challenge for the Diva’s title. Rock on Kharma with your nasty self!
If you didn’t see Extreme Rules last night, John Cena is now our new champion. Love him or hate him, I prefer to hate him. But I do hate the Miz almost as much as Cena, and that brings us to the main event which is happening at the halfway point to finish out celebrating Rock’s birthday. Miz has used his rematch clause tonight, which actually resulted in a halfway decent match between the two turds. But of course the Miz loses all credibility when he uses Alex Riley and his shenanigans to his advantage. This time it worked against him after he hit Cena in the face with the title belt and tucked it beneath him before pinning the champ. The ref calls for the belt after Miz’s win and upon seeing it gone and in Miz’s hands he reverses his decision and Cena is still the champ. Sorry monkey by Miz.
Before the next match, Alberto Del Rio comes down to the ring in a new Phantom, incredibly upbeat for someone who lost a title match again last night. I guess Del Rio isn’t the chosen one. The match itself is a tag match with the team of Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston vs Jack Swagger and Drew McIntyre. Not much exciting here until the end when Del Rio gets owned trying to attack Mysterio. Behold, a new Raw feud!
The last match is an interesting one and quite entertaining for how long it lasted. Mason Ryan vs Kane. It’s always a good time when behemoths collide. Mason Ryan shows he can definitely hold his own against Kane and even Big Show as he spears him once the match is a catastrophe. The catastrophe is because of….Nexus interference! Big surprise there. Mason Ryan could easily become a number one contender. He just needs more lines than repeatedly going “Come on! Come on! Come on!”. Besides, that’s Michael Cole’s job.
Overall it was a decently good episode of Raw. Not a whole lot of the same matches besides Cena vs Miz again! Rock was able to beat on Cole, get pranked a couple times for his birthday and end the night in the ring to thank everyone.
He was even given a surprise birthday wish from one Vince McMahon and a video tribute to him. Top all of that off with Happy Birthday performed the gorgeous and talented Mya, and a shower of balloons and confetti, then it makes for a pretty good birthday if you’re the Rock.
Tonight is the night! Draft night! This week’s Raw starts off with quite a bang: a 20 man Battle Royale is already in full swing to determine whether Raw or Smackdown gets the first draft pick.
Mayhem ensues for about 15 minutes as it boils down to Evan Bourne and Mason Ryan vs Big Show and Kofi Kingston as the final four. In the end, Big Show proves to be too much as he eliminates both Raw wrestlers. Smackdown gets the first pick and the selection is…..
I’m so glad that Cena will be off of Raw. Now Miz just has to get drafted to Smackdown and the most boring rivalry in the history of the WWE can finally be out of my sight. At least until Extreme Rules, at which point I’ll then be rooting for Morrison to win. And I’m not even a Morrison fan.
Since we’re talking about Morrison, the man who attacked him after a match last week comes out for some heel action. Truth goes on about how the fans can suck it and how they failed him. Apparently Truth rapped and danced just to make the fans happy and not himself. He drives the point home by asking an imaginary boy named “Little Jimmy” a whole bunch of rhetorical questions. It was quite hilarious and then Morrison runs out to shut his face.
Right before commercial we are treated to a preview of next week’s show in Miami, which will feature The Rock’s birthday party… don’t know exactly how I feel about that one. I guess as long as the Rock is there it will be entertaining enough.
The next match is a Diva’s competition that will determine the next draft selection, featuring Eve Torres vs Layla.
Michelle McCool joins her down at ringside, and as Smackdown has shown us, Laycool has been having some problems. As the match comes to a close, Michelle talks some shit to Layla and Eve takes advantage to pin her, getting Raw the next pick. That pick for Raw iiiiiiisssss…..
The next match is Kofi Kingston vs Sheamus for a pick. I would assume every match is for a pick at this point. The match seemed brief with Sheamus getting laid out by two head kicks from Kofie and pinned for another Smackdown pick. This was really surpising and I have to say so far Smackdown is doing very well…..
Randy Orton to Smackdown.
Once we get back from commercial we are subjected to yet more Michael Cole nonsense as he squares off against Jim Ross. King is of course in JR’s corner, with Swagger in moron’s corner once more.
This is a monumental waste of time for the most part. The only satisfying parts being JR beating up on Cole and making him bleed from his lip pretty good. Swagger of course interferes but it’s Lawler to the rescue as he takes out both Swagger and Cole, Cole getting whacked a few times with a belt from the King. Afterwards the Raw GM declares that the tag match between these four at Extreme Rules will be a Country Whipping Match. That is extreme….
Next we get more verbal vomit from that moron The Miz. Instead of describing the useless shit he said I thought I’d feature some stupid Miz expressions.
The next match is between Dolph Zigler and Randy Orton for two draft picks, Orton freshly picked up by Smackdown. The match itself was pretty entertaining but seemed short lived as Randy Orton breaks out of a quick pin by Zigler and RKO’s him to win two more draft picks for Smackdown. This is getting ridiculous for Raw, but it’s definitely shaking things up which is the point. After a short interruption by CM Punk and a commercial break we get to see the two picks for Smackdown:
Mark Henry and Sin Cara
I was pretty shocked by the Sin Cara pickup because he had such a short stint on Raw. Smackdown is really getting the heavy hitters at this point. Raw needs to win this next battle for two more picks, between Wade Barrett and Rey Mysterio. After another quick yet decent match, Rey seals the win with a 619 and a top rope finisher on Barrett. His victory leads to these next two picks:
The Big Show and Alberto Del Rio
It was good to see Raw pick up a couple of heavy hitters, because losing Orton and Cena was pretty huge. But Raw has one more chance to make one more decent acquisition. The final match of the night is a six man tag match to determine the final pick. For Raw we have the team of Miz, Del Rio and CM Punk.
For Smackdown is Cena, Mark Henry and Christian. I like this mix up because it’s none too often you see Cena and Del Rio in the same match or CM Punk and Christian. They gave a good physical finale for us that ended with not only another heel turn but a completely stupid last “random” draft pick. Mark Henry is the one who turned heel, taking out Cena and Christian both resulting in The Miz giving Cena the Skull Crushing Finale and the winning pin. As we frantically wonder who will be coming to Raw it turns out to be…..
Somehow I feel cheated and disgusted. Thanks Raw. I know the whole thing is scripted but how incredibly random the selection must be if Cena gets picked both first and last. Lame. I can only hope Extreme Rules this Sunday doesn’t follow suit with a dog crap ending. Tune back in tomorrow as more draft picks occur during the day, and comment below to tell us what you think of the new picks from this year’s draft!
Raw takes place in the good old UK tonight. Those WWE fans in London sure can make some noise. We start out with R Truth coming down to gloat that he has a title shot at Extreme Rules. And I would like to point out that the Brits certainly have it together since they collectively booed at the mention of his name.
Anyways, R Truth talks about how happy he is and that he’ll take on anyone at anytime. He’d probably threaten to beat an opponent in a tennis match or in playing poker games online if someone were to challenge him, such is his overwhelming amount of confidence. Almost in response to that sentiment, John Morrison’s pretty boy face comes strolling to the ring. Over the course of a round of jokes about R Truth being out of shape, lucky and a smoker, Morrison convinces R Truth to face him in a match where the winner gets his spot at the match at Extreme Rules. The big controversy about R Truth’s fitness stems from him drinking some water between fights during last week’s gauntlet match.
The match itself wasn’t too bad, its everything we’ve seen with Morrison and Truth before. It was kind of annoying for a few minutes hearing the King and Cole feud storyline still carrying on during the match. I wish it was just JR and Lawler commentating, because Cole is past the point of being likeable. In the end Morrison wins the match, for once actually landing his Starship Pain move off the ropes. So now it will be Miz, Morrison and Cena at the pay per view. But not so fast: as Morrison is celebrating in the ring, R Truth attacks from behind and carries out an assault on Morrison that last for a long five minutes. Truth must not have taken the water bottle teasing very well because he smashes a plastic bottle full across Morrison’s face. Then to add insult to injury he lights up a cigarette in the arena and blows smoke in his face.
I wasn’t too shocked that Truth lost the match because neither him or Morrison will win the belt at Extreme Rules. However, when Truth turned heel on us I was pretty amazed. I had no problem with it because it adds a bit of change to the WWE which is desperately needed, but I need to know what you the reader thinks, so make sure to comment below so I can know!
The next match we are treated to is the stupidly smiling Evan Bourne vs the new and improved Dolph Ziggler. New and improved meaning short brown hair and a “new attitude”. Hopefully new attitude means he won’t lose as much, which he accomplished by beating Bourne. The match was short but sweet, with Ziggler narrowly missing an Airbourne attack and retaliating with a Zig Zag to pin Evan.
When we return from commercial there is a music video tribute to Edge who retired due to a spinal injury last week. Make sure to tune into Smackdown this Friday when Alberto Del Rio holds a retirement party for Edge. I’m sure it will be hilarious and I hope Edge shows up and gives Del Rio one last ass whooping.
Unfortunately when we return Alex Riley and The Miz are making their way ringside. It was supposed to be a Alex Riley and Sin Cara fighting but instead we have to hear Cole go on about Miz like he wants to have sex with him and the Miz complain about how he now has to fight both Cena and Morrison. I actually feel for the Brits at the arena live because as we get back from commercial, the Miz is still talking! I still can’t decide whether he looks more like a piranha or a monkey. I’m leaning towards monkey after watching him tonight.
Finally Sin Cara interrupts by coming, followed surprisingly by John Cena, much to the chagrin of about half of the arena. The general manager then announces that it will indeed be a tag team match between Sin Cara/Cena and The Miz/Alex Riley. The match is another excuse to showcase the talents of Sin Cara, but it’s still a decent match even though I think we’ve seen almost all of Cara’s arsenal. Him and Cena win the match after Riley proves how much ass he sucks.
Now I’m not trying to be sexist or anything but the diva’s match that happens next isn’t very worthy of mentioning. It’s basically a rematch except it’s Eve Torres vs the other Bella twin. Key word here – twin. It’s basically the same match. Long story short, Eve wins and then is rudely cut off by Michael Cole who wants to carry on with his supposed knighting for the night. (See what I did there?)
During this ridiculous farce and waste of our time, Michael Cole is knighted by a bogus Queen who he disgracefully smooches with. I’m not sure how much further this guy can fall into the ocean of garbage juice. After the knighting (should have been a beheading!) “ceremony” Michael proceeds to call everyone in the arena peasants and demands that JR and Lawler get in the ring to kiss his fungus covered foot. Lawler and Ross oblige getting in the ring with full intent to kick his ass instead of kiss his feet. Swagger of course takes out Lawler before getting JR in the ankle lock submission to force him to kiss Cole’s fungal foot. Once again we get to hear Cole threepeat everything he says. For example – “Kiss it JR, Kiss it! Kiss my foot JR! Come on JR, Come on! Come on JR!” Friggin’ weak sauce Cole!
I don’t know how everyone else feels but I’m sooooooooo sick of the whole Cole storyline. It ran its course months ago and we can only hope he is drafted to Smackdown next week so we don’t have to hear him on this show anymore. He might even be cool again on Smackdown if he is away from Lawler.
The next match comes as a payback of sorts. Santino is already in the ring until Sheamus enters and explains how Santino embarrassed him last time the WWE came to England and now it was his turn. I was expecting something ridiculous from the United States champion but he beat Santino the old-fashioned way, which was no surprise. I’m actually liking that they are having Santino actually put up a fight in his matches instead of just being a huge joke.
Our next match is one that we have seen all too often. Not just at Wrestlemania but weeks after and weeks preceding it. Yes I speak of Randy Orton v.s. CM Punk. Now even though it is a match we’ve seen numerous times it was a pretty decent one. Just straight up, two guys competing for the win, and when Randy did win it was a clean one. The Viper managed to get out of a GTS and wrap Punk up into a small package pin for the three count. Then of course the New Nexus comes out to stomp Orton into oblivion. *Yawn* When will this shit end? After stopping a seemingly roid raging Mason Ryan from finishing Orton off with a punt to the head as payback, Punk decides to take a shot. But Orton snaps up real quick to RKO him and escape the ring. Still a win and a final F*** You to Punk and the Nexus. A decent end to an okay night of wrasslin’. And a big shout out to the fans over in England because they were fantastically energetic all night!
Now next week is a RAW that no fan will want to miss, because you know what is coming…. THE DRAFT! Hopefully this will shake things up for the better in the WWE and stamp out some stagnant storylines and they can entertain us anew for another year. Everyone please comment below, because we love your feedback! And I’m real anxious to hear what people’s predictions are for the draft which takes place next Monday at 9pm on USA! Join us here at the Grizzly Bomb for coverage on the draft right after!