Tag Archives: Eve Torres

WWE Monday Night Raw Recap & Review: August 22, 2011

Raw begins with Alberto Del Rio, getting ready to bore us to death at the start of the show. He of course comes out in one of those borrowed cars, what a piece of trash. After his dragged out entrance he finally grabs a mic and before he even does his lame introduction he is quickly interrupted by John Cena, who gets a standing ovation. Cena grabs a mic and introduces himself as the man who is going to take that belt from him. He goes on to say that CM Punk is the only person who can go toe to toe with him, so whipping Del Rio’s ass won’t be a problem. And just as this leaves his mouth CM Punk’s music hits, and he gets an equally loud ovation. CM Punk says that if anybody is going to get a title shot it’s going to be him. Both Cena and Punk say that they are going to cash in their rematch clause to face Del Rio. Triple H then comes out, I like the suit tonight though. Triple H says that tonight there will be a number one contendership match between CM Punk and Cena in the main event of the show.

Commercial Break…

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison

Morrison begins by throwing a few punches and knocking Del Rio to the outside of the ring. Once back in, Del Rio begins gaining some offense. I can’t be the only one who thinks that Del Rio is an absolute joke of a champion. Heres my thing, when the WWE champion is only entertaining enough to be the first match on Raw, there’s a problem. He has a boring personality and  it would be awful for ratings to keep Del Rio as champion after “Night of Champions.”Back to the match, Morrison and Del Rio are on the outside of the ring, and Del Rio shoves Morrison into the barricade before Raw cuts to a commercial break.

After the break, Morrison is getting destroyed. However, as wrestling goes, John Morrison begins to retaliate and begins fighting back into this. Actually, hats off to both these wrestlers, this is turning into a pretty good match. Morrison is still in control, and going for “star ship pain” but misses it and soon finds himself in an arm bar which he taps out to. Actually a great match, and after the match Del Rio begins attacking Morrison just for good measure.
Commercial Break…


Nicki Bella vs. Eve Torres

This  cat fight begins with Nicki throwing some punches and pulling some hair. Eve begins fighting back and I believe we have broken 2 minutes, which is the longest Divas match I’ve seen on Raw in the last couple months. Nicki and Eve go at it for a couple more minutes before Eve Torres wins the match.

After the match Kelly Kelly, who was in the corner of Eve, comes in the face plants the other Bella for no apparent reason.

Commercial Break…

Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley

Vicki Guerrero comes out and introduces Jack Swagger, who we saw last week approach Vicki about managing him. As the match begins, Dolph Ziggler comes out and begins arguing with Vicki and in the process distracts Jack Swagger. After the distraction Alex Riley rolls up Swagger into the three count.

Boring match, and once again the WWE refuses to use Alex Riley to the extent that they probably could.

Commercial Break…

After the break, Triple H comes out to supposedly clear up what happened at SummerSlam. Triple H calls out Kevin Nash so they can explain everything to the crowd. Kevin Nash walks out to no music.

Triple H then goes on to say that it wasn’t him that sent that text, and Nash says that he will not apologize to CM Punk. Punk then comes out and says that his bet is that Stephanie McMahon sent the text message. Just when CM Punk is about to Go after Nash, Triple H holds him back. CM Punk goes on to tell Triple H that he’s got his balls stuck in his wifes purse. Just as this happens, Nash attacks Punk from the side, and Triple H and Nash hurry out of the ring together.

Commercial Break

Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne vs. David Otunga and Michael Mcgillicutty

McGillicutty and Bourne start the match and Evan Bourne is beating up McGillicuty. I really think that Bourne and Kingston would be an awesome tag team championship team. Both have an extremely unique wrestling style, and I’m agreeing with everything that Jerry Lawler is saying right now. Otunga and McGillicutty are not entertaining wrestlers, they make piss poor champions and they show nothing unique about their personalities and wrestling styles. Back to the match, after an incredible performance by both Kingston and Bourne, Bourne hits his back flip off of the top rope to get the pinfall win for the tag team titles. I’m absolutely thrilled, and can’t wait to see these two wrestle as a tag team more often!

Backstage, John Laurinaitis runs up to HHH and tells him that Kevin Nash has been in a car accident. His poor acting is almost uncomfortable to watch. He then gives Hunter the name of the hospital and HHH takes off to see if he is ok. Laurinaitis says that he’ll take care of the rest of the night.

My guess is that Kevin Nash had triple H notified of a car accident just to get him out of the arena so he can get involved in the main event and not have Triple H stop him. We shall see what goes down in about 30 minutes.

Commercial Break…

And here comes grizzly bomb writer Darthsaeris’s favorite wrestler in the world, Santino Marella! As he is coming out to the ring, R-Truth and the Miz attack Santino from behind, thank God we don’t have to see him actually compete in a match. R-Truth grabs a mic and begins talking about how Cena, Punk, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, are all conspiring against him and Miz. The Miz and his stupid hair cut begin talking about how he agrees with R-Truth. Miz begins rambling and his words really aren’t worth typing, so I’ll just have you all know he is wasting everyone’s time.

Commercial Break

CM Punk vs. John Cena (#1 Contender-ship match)

Alberto Del Rio and John Laurinaitis are both at ring side, LAME! Side note: I happen to love that CM Punk yells out, “It’s clobbering Time,” before he runs down to the ring. The fact that there is still 20 minutes left in the night, is a definite indicator that were going have a full match! The match starts with a lock up, and John Cena is the first to gain momentum. Lawler begins saying how he doesn’t believe CM Punk is that good, and the “idiotic statement of the night award” goes to the guy with the plastic crown. Punk begins fighting back, but not long before Cena knocks Punk off the top turnbuckle and to the outside of the ring. And we have a commercial break. When Raw returns, we see a back and forth battle and Cena gets Punk in the STFU, Punk doesn’t tap. Immediately after we see CM Punk hit Cena with a “Go to Sleep,” and Cena kicks out. Punk then goes to the top rope and misses an elbow drop, which Cena rolls out of the way from. Both men are laying face first in the middle of the ring. As both men get to their feet, Punk hits Cena with a knee to the face, and Cena hits Punk with an attitude adjustment, but neither move ends the match.  Oh and I’m right on the money with my prediction, Nash is back and CM punk is distracted by this. When he turns back around Cena hits him with the “attitude adjustment” again and pins Punk for the win.

After the match Alberto runs in the ring and attacks John Cena. The show ends with this, and yet again we have many unanswered questions.

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WWE Monday Night Raw Review: May 9, 2011

We get to start off Raw tonight with the announcement of a triple threat match that will determine who John Cena will face at Over the Limit in two weeks. Of course the Miz will be one, then Del Rio and the third one takes some build, but between R-Truth and Rey Mysterio it comes down to Mysterio. Although I did enjoy R Truth calling Miz Kermit because he does kind of look like him. And it was surprising to hear him call Del Rio a Mexican fence jumper. Classy. John Cena will also be choosing the stipulation for his match at Over the Limit tonight on Raw.

 

I’m not gonna lie. I like watching the Raw divas matches because I really, really like watching Kelly Kelly. But regardless this week’s match was decent, albeit short. It was a tag match with Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly vs The Bella Twins. It actually finished this time before Kharma Kong comes out. This time Eve at least tries to attack here with little effect, then Kelly runs away leaving Eve to Kharma’s pretty awesome finisher.

You gotta love this move

The next match is a repeat from last week. We get to see Mason Ryan face off against Kane once more. Like last week, its a pretty good physical match but Raw will burn us out on it pretty quick. Not to mention it ends with Nexus interference. Again.

Our next match is another weekly Santino beatdown. At least now he puts up a little fight, playing a great role as jobber which is desperately needed. I really like Zigler. He’s pretty talented as was evidenced by his dropkick to Santino’s face followed by a Zig Zag to effectively end the match.

Let’s face it: Alex Riley is a bitch boy. He’s an ameoba like the Miz said. After getting berated by his boss again, Alex Riley goes to the ring and challenges John Cena to a match. Cena of course obliges the poor idiot with a match. In classic Raw fashion, the match lasts not even four minutes. He gives him a five knuckle shuffle, two attitude adjustments and the STF. Sorry A-Rei.

Once again we get more Michael Cole vomit-shit talk. I don’t know how else to describe it at this point. Seriously? How classy with him throwing the fact that Lawler’s mom died in his face after Lawler challenges him to a match.

The next match is refreshing change, as we get Kofi Kingston vs Jack Swagger in a U.S. Championship match. This is the most decent match of the night so far and after a simple distraction from Jerry Lawler, Kofi retains his title.

The best part came after the Kingston win when Lawler get a hold of Cole’s tie through one of the hole’s in front of his glass box and proceeds to bash his head against the glass repeatedly. Jack Swagger then accepts the match on Cole’s behalf. Please let it be their last match.

The Triple Threat match was a bit boring to me, but it was better than the other matches, even the U.S. Championship match. But wouldn’t you know it: Miz wins with some cheating bullshit once again. This guy reaks of credibility. Cena then comes out to announce his stipulation at Over the Limit is that the match will be an I Quit match. This goes to show the originality we are dealing with here in the WWE. Cena will have an I Quit match at Over the Limit, just as he did with Batista at the same pay per view a year ago. Lame. Suck it. Overall this was a pretty lackluster and terrible episode of Monday Night Raw.

By the way. Tomorrow the Maxim Hot 100 comes out and Kelly Kelly made the list! Make sure to pick it up to see which number she is!

Also check out the rest of my Wrestling Articles:

The Rock’s Birthday Party – Monday Night Raw Review!

Extreme Rules Predictions

Wrestlemania 27

WWE Draft 2011

WWE Draft – More Picks!

WWE Raw Review – April 4th

WWE Raw Review – April 11th

WWE Raw Review – April 19th

Monday Night Raw Review: 4-25-2011 WWE DRAFT NIGHT!

Tonight is the night! Draft night! This week’s Raw starts off with quite a bang: a 20 man Battle Royale is already in full swing to determine whether Raw or Smackdown gets the first draft pick.

Mayhem ensues for about 15 minutes as it boils down to Evan Bourne and Mason Ryan vs Big Show and Kofi Kingston as the final four. In the end, Big Show proves to be too much as he eliminates both Raw wrestlers. Smackdown gets the first pick and the selection is…..

John Cena!

I’m so glad that Cena will be off of Raw. Now Miz just has to get drafted to Smackdown and the most boring rivalry in the history of the WWE can finally be out of my sight. At least until Extreme Rules, at which point I’ll then be rooting for Morrison to win. And I’m not even a Morrison fan.

The first of many assholes in the Raw lineup

Since we’re talking about Morrison, the man who attacked him after a match last week comes out for some heel action. Truth goes on about how the fans can suck it and how they failed him. Apparently Truth rapped and danced just to make the fans happy and not himself. He drives the point home by asking an imaginary boy named “Little Jimmy” a whole bunch of rhetorical questions. It was quite hilarious and then Morrison runs out to shut his face.

R Truth talking to an invisible Little Jimmy. Classic.

Right before commercial we are treated to a preview of next week’s show in Miami, which will feature The Rock’s birthday party… don’t know exactly how I feel about that one. I guess as long as the Rock is there it will be entertaining enough.

The next match is a Diva’s competition that will determine the next draft selection, featuring Eve Torres vs Layla.

Get this girl a title shot… such beauty is wasted otherwise

Michelle McCool joins her down at ringside, and as Smackdown has shown us, Laycool has been having some problems. As the match comes to a close, Michelle talks some shit to Layla and Eve takes advantage to pin her, getting Raw the next pick. That pick for Raw iiiiiiisssss…..

Rey Mysterio

The next match is Kofi Kingston vs Sheamus for a pick. I would assume every match is for a pick at this point. The match seemed brief with Sheamus getting laid out by two head kicks from Kofie and pinned for another Smackdown pick. This was really surpising and I have to say so far Smackdown is doing very well…..

Randy Orton to Smackdown.

Once we get back from commercial we are subjected to yet more Michael Cole nonsense as he squares off against Jim Ross. King is of course in JR’s corner, with Swagger in moron’s corner once more.

This guy might as well suck it.

This is a monumental waste of time for the most part. The only satisfying parts being JR beating up on Cole and making him bleed from his lip pretty good. Swagger of course interferes but it’s Lawler to the rescue as he takes out both Swagger and Cole, Cole getting whacked a few times with a belt from the King. Afterwards the Raw GM declares that the tag match between these four at Extreme Rules will be a Country Whipping Match. That is extreme….

Next we get more verbal vomit from that moron The Miz. Instead of describing the useless shit he said I thought I’d feature some stupid Miz expressions.

The next match is between Dolph Zigler and Randy Orton for two draft picks, Orton freshly picked up by Smackdown. The match itself was pretty entertaining but seemed short lived as Randy Orton breaks out of a quick pin by Zigler and RKO’s him to win two more draft picks for Smackdown. This is getting ridiculous for Raw, but it’s definitely shaking things up which is the point. After a short interruption by CM Punk and a commercial break we get to see the two picks for Smackdown:

Mark Henry and Sin Cara

I was pretty shocked by the Sin Cara pickup because he had such a short stint on Raw. Smackdown is really getting the heavy hitters at this point. Raw needs to win this next battle for two more picks, between Wade Barrett and Rey Mysterio. After another quick yet decent match, Rey seals the win with a 619 and a top rope finisher on Barrett. His victory leads to these next two picks:

The Big Show and Alberto Del Rio

It was good to see Raw pick up a couple of heavy hitters, because losing Orton and Cena was pretty huge. But Raw has one more chance to make one more decent acquisition. The final match of the night is a six man tag match to determine the final pick. For Raw we have the team of Miz, Del Rio and CM Punk.

I can’t help but like this team

For Smackdown is Cena, Mark Henry and Christian. I like this mix up because it’s none too often you see Cena and Del Rio in the same match or CM Punk and Christian. They gave a good physical finale for us that ended with not only another heel turn but a completely stupid last “random” draft pick. Mark Henry is the one who turned heel, taking out Cena and Christian both resulting in The Miz giving Cena the Skull Crushing Finale and the winning pin. As we frantically wonder who will be coming to Raw it turns out to be…..

Cena?

Somehow I feel cheated and disgusted. Thanks Raw. I know the whole thing is scripted but how incredibly random the selection must be if Cena gets picked both first and last. Lame. I can only hope Extreme Rules this Sunday doesn’t follow suit with a dog crap ending. Tune back in tomorrow as more draft picks occur during the day, and comment below to tell us what you think of the new picks from this year’s draft!

WWE Monday Night Raw Review – April 19th 2011

Raw takes place in the good old UK tonight. Those WWE fans in London sure can make some noise. We start out with R Truth coming down to gloat that he has a title shot at Extreme Rules. And I would like to point out that the Brits certainly have it together since they collectively booed at the mention of his name.

Yeah, Sheamus no longer has that belt.

Anyways, R Truth talks about how happy he is and that he’ll take on anyone at anytime. He’d probably threaten to beat an opponent in a tennis match or in playing poker games online if someone were to challenge him, such is his overwhelming amount of confidence. Almost in response to that sentiment, John Morrison’s pretty boy face comes strolling to the ring. Over the course of a round of jokes about R Truth being out of shape, lucky and a smoker, Morrison convinces R Truth to face him in a match where the winner gets his spot at the match at Extreme Rules. The big controversy about R Truth’s fitness stems from him drinking some water between fights during last week’s gauntlet match.

The match itself wasn’t too bad, its everything we’ve seen with Morrison and Truth before. It was kind of annoying for a few minutes hearing the King and Cole feud storyline still carrying on during the match. I wish it was just JR and Lawler commentating, because Cole is past the point of being likeable. In the end Morrison wins the match, for once actually landing his Starship Pain move off the ropes. So now it will be Miz, Morrison and Cena at the pay per view. But not so fast: as Morrison is celebrating in the ring, R Truth attacks from behind and carries out an assault on Morrison that last for a long five minutes. Truth must not have taken the water bottle teasing very well because he smashes a plastic bottle full across Morrison’s face. Then to add insult to injury he lights up a cigarette in the arena and blows smoke in his face.

WASS UP!?

I wasn’t too shocked that Truth lost the match because neither him or Morrison will win the belt at Extreme Rules. However, when Truth turned heel on us I was pretty amazed. I had no problem with it because it adds a bit of change to the WWE which is desperately needed, but I need to know what you the reader thinks, so make sure to comment below so I can know!

The next match we are treated to is the stupidly smiling Evan Bourne vs the new and improved Dolph Ziggler. New and improved meaning short brown hair and a “new attitude”. Hopefully new attitude means he won’t lose as much, which he accomplished by beating Bourne. The match was short but sweet, with Ziggler narrowly missing an Airbourne attack and retaliating with a Zig Zag to pin Evan.

When we return from commercial there is a music video tribute to Edge who retired due to a spinal injury last week. Make sure to tune into Smackdown this Friday when Alberto Del Rio holds a retirement party for Edge. I’m sure it will be hilarious and I hope Edge shows up and gives Del Rio one last ass whooping.

Unfortunately when we return Alex Riley and The Miz are making their way ringside. It was supposed to be a Alex Riley and Sin Cara fighting but instead we have to hear Cole go on about Miz like he wants to have sex with him and the Miz complain about how he now has to fight both Cena and Morrison. I actually feel for the Brits at the arena live because as we get back from commercial, the Miz is still talking! I still can’t decide whether he looks more like a piranha or a monkey. I’m leaning towards monkey after watching him tonight.

Finally Sin Cara interrupts by coming, followed surprisingly by John Cena, much to the chagrin of about half of the arena. The general manager then announces that it will indeed be a tag team match between Sin Cara/Cena and The Miz/Alex Riley. The match is another excuse to showcase the talents of Sin Cara, but it’s still a decent match even though I think we’ve seen almost all of Cara’s arsenal. Him and Cena win the match after Riley proves how much ass he sucks.

Sin Cara ring entrance. What the shit?!

Now I’m not trying to be sexist or anything but the diva’s match that happens next isn’t very worthy of mentioning. It’s basically a rematch except it’s Eve Torres vs the other Bella twin. Key word here – twin. It’s basically the same match. Long story short, Eve wins and then is rudely cut off by Michael Cole who wants to carry on with his supposed knighting for the night. (See what I did there?)

Oh boy….

During this ridiculous farce and waste of our time, Michael Cole is knighted by a bogus Queen who he disgracefully smooches with. I’m not sure how much further this guy can fall into the ocean of garbage juice. After the knighting (should have been a beheading!) “ceremony” Michael proceeds to call everyone in the arena peasants and demands that JR and Lawler get in the ring to kiss his fungus covered foot. Lawler and Ross oblige getting in the ring with full intent to kick his ass instead of kiss his feet. Swagger of course takes out Lawler before getting JR in the ankle lock submission to force him to kiss Cole’s fungal foot. Once again we get to hear Cole threepeat everything he says. For example – “Kiss it JR, Kiss it! Kiss my foot JR! Come on JR, Come on! Come on JR!” Friggin’ weak sauce Cole!

Im sure everyone in the U.K. appreciated this one Cole…

I don’t know how everyone else feels but I’m sooooooooo sick of the whole Cole storyline. It ran its course months ago and we can only hope he is drafted to Smackdown next week so we don’t have to hear him on this show anymore. He might even be cool again on Smackdown if he is away from Lawler.

The next match comes as a payback of sorts. Santino is already in the ring until Sheamus enters and explains how Santino embarrassed him last time the WWE came to England and now it was his turn. I was expecting something ridiculous from the United States champion but he beat Santino the old-fashioned way, which was no surprise. I’m actually liking that they are having Santino actually put up a fight in his matches instead of just being a huge joke.

Look, FELLA!

Our next match is one that we have seen all too often. Not just at Wrestlemania but weeks after and weeks preceding it. Yes I speak of Randy Orton v.s. CM Punk. Now even though it is a match we’ve seen numerous times it was a pretty decent one. Just straight up, two guys competing for the win, and when Randy did win it was a clean one. The Viper managed to get out of a GTS and wrap Punk up into a small package pin for the three count. Then of course the New Nexus comes out to stomp Orton into oblivion. *Yawn* When will this shit end? After stopping a seemingly roid raging Mason Ryan from finishing Orton off with a punt to the head as payback, Punk decides to take a shot. But Orton snaps up real quick to RKO him and escape the ring. Still a win and a final F*** You to Punk and the Nexus. A decent end to an okay night of wrasslin’. And a big shout out to the fans over in England because they were fantastically energetic all night!

Now next week is a RAW that no fan will want to miss, because you know what is coming…. THE DRAFT! Hopefully this will shake things up for the better in the WWE and stamp out some stagnant storylines and they can entertain us anew for another year. Everyone please comment below, because we love your feedback! And I’m real anxious to hear what people’s predictions are for the draft which takes place next Monday at 9pm on USA! Join us here at the Grizzly Bomb for coverage on the draft right after!

Missed any other reviews? Here ya go!

RAW Review April 11th

RAW Review April 4th

Wrestlemania 27 – 2011