The Phillie Phanatic: Mascot of the Year

The Phillie Phanatic is your mascot of the year, according to a survey done by Forbes. The news came just one day before the Phanatic’s 33rd Birthday celebration as he supplanted the San Diego Chicken for the title.

Well in honor of this prestigious award, might I present Christian Bale to congratulate you Mr. Phanatic:

I hate the Phanatic, because honestly – I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE F–K HE IS!

What does a big green fuzzy dude have to do with Philadelphia? A better question is why am I getting upset about this? Should I care what the Philly Phanatic is, or that he was mascot of the year?

Answer: Hell no!

But it is a really good excuse to post up some pictures of some of the worst and funny mascots around out there.

The Syracuse Orange Man 

 I don’t know what this little orange bastard is doing but it frightens me. No one wants the shocker, but if I had to take one for the team then it certainly wouldn’t be from this fella. I’m surprised the university took this so well…

Columbus Blue Jackets: Boomer the Cannon

 Seems like a valiant effort, but too many people have complained about how he might look like a penis, with testicles and all. Then you have the geriatrics who say it looks like an elderly guy in a wheelchair. Better luck next time Columbus.

San Diego Chargers: Bolt Man

 Someone with an apparent fetish for muscles designed this mascot. This is the mid-90’s version of Bolt Man so they’ve moved on to bigger and better things. Personally I think they’d have been better of with a Mega Man boss.

The Rhode Island School of Design: Scrotie

 Do I honestly have to say anything? Their mascot is a friggin’ scrotum!


 He’s obviously a pepper, but from where I don’t know. And his costume is such an epic fail that I had no ambition to research it.

Donald Duck: Being a Scum-Bag

Despite the child abuse going on here, Donald Duck is being true to his character mostly being a piss pot.

Pervert Mascots

Never talk to purple dinosaurs kids!
Jeez Mr. Cheese…

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