So I am watching a spring training game between my Detroit Tigers and the Atlanta Braves, and baseball is by far my favorite sport. I am enjoying watching the veterans get their mandatory 2 innings or so, and then letting all the prospects get in there for a little bit. I should be in baseball dork heaven right now. But I am not. To blame, is none other than the National Football League. Tonight at 11:59 pm barring any extensions of the agreement, which has been requested by the League for an additional week or two, the management will lockout the players, and we will be in a period with no football. Now if that meant that Shane Falco would jump in there and lead a team to Super Bowl glory, I would be perfectly happy. However this happy scenario will not be the one that pans out.
Yearly Archives: 2011
Grizzly Review: DRIVE ANGRY (in 3D)
For the 2nd installment of ‘Random-Ass Movie Reviews’, we look at the Nic Cage insta-classic DRIVE ANGRY. If you don’t know what this is, please allow me to introduce you. Let’s start with the trailer:
Looks awesome right? Well, it is, and I’m about to tell you why.
First though, let’s talk about what makes a movie artistically successful. For me, a movie that knows what it is, and excels at being so can be called successful regardless of its Box Office totals or critical accolades. To better show what I mean, let’s look at a few examples – THE STRANGERS and PUBLIC ENEMIES.
The Strangers is a slasher film, built on a strong foundation of suspense. Now a lot of people don’t care for slasher films, but I think most of the ones who do would say this was a decent one. I saw it and it made me jump. The whole theater seemed frightened, and it had been a few years since I have seen a movie that had such an effect on me. When I left the theater with my 2 friends we all agreed it was well worth the price of admission, and for that reason when it came out on DVD, I bought it. This is a movie whose biggest star is Liv Tyler, it cost only about $10 million to make, and was aimed a specific audience. Yet it delivered exactly what it promised, a creepy ass good time.
It has a 6/10 on IMDb right now, however, if you were to ask fans of the genre, I think they’d tell you a 6 is too low.
On the flip side, we have Public Enemies. Directed by Oscar Nominated Michael Mann, starring 2 of the biggest names in Hollywood -Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, and which cost over $100 million to make. This Action-Drama had a target audience too, the Academy. This movie was meant to be Oscar bait from day 1. However, while this was still a movie I was quite excited to see, I left the theater thoroughly disappointed, it just felt flat. I’m a gangster movie fan and even I thought it was slow. It quite simply just failed to deliver what was promised in the trailer.
It has a 7.1/10 on that same IMDb scale right now, though I bet the people it was targeted at would rate it lower.
As far as I’m concerned The Strangers accomplished what it wanted to do, Public Enemies did not. Despite this, it’s unlikely you’d hear many people argue that The Strangers is the better of the 2 movies based simply on prejudice against certain genres.
Now the whole point I’m trying to make above is that DRIVE ANGRY fits into a very specific genre, and within that genre, as my new favorite actor Charlie Sheen would say, it wins. Most people would watch the trailer above and say: “That looks stupid.”, and that’s because it is stupid. However, it delivers exactly what it promises in the trailer, and is thoroughly entertaining in doing so. I didn’t walk out disappointed, and that’s saying something now. This movie, for me, should be compared to the likes of Grindhouse, Snakes on a Plane, and Machete. All of which make deliver an entertaining watch, and no illusions of what they really are: B-Movies.
Now, as far as the merits of Drive Angry itself, let’s start with the cast. First off, the supposed A-List actor, who has done more B-List work than any other major name around – Nic Cage. It is Cage’s ridiculous persona that makes this movie work before you even see it. You know you’re not getting Cage from The Rock/Leaving Las Vegas/Adaptation. This is the Cage you saw in (or more likely didn’t see) in Knowing/Season of the Witch/The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. A crazed tornado of emotion and overacting under a ridiculous hairdo. This is the modern Cage.
And cast as Cage’s sexy young sidekick – Amber Heard.
You may remember her as the hot neighbor turned flesh-eater in Zombieland or as Seth Rogen’s underage girlfriend in Pineapple Express. She actually plays off of Cage pretty well, and her legs allow you to ignore how well he is coping with the craziness around her.
She is a waitress at a diner who gives Cage’s character Milton a ride. As the movie progresses, she is thrown into situations that would make even Stallone and Schwarzenegger nervous. But in what is apparently a requirement to waitress in this world, she loves punching people in the face and apparently is afraid of nothing. An admirable quality in a sidekick.
Next, we have the man from Hell, sent to reclaim Cage, and he’s played by none other than William Fichtner.
Fichtner is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated, and overly entertaining actors working today. He is probably most recognizable from Armageddon and TV’s Prison Break. But I’ve actually always associated him with Drowning Mona, where I thought he was hilarious. And the fact he was in The Dark Knight doesn’t hurt his resume either.
Then for the 4th Principal Character, we have the man who lured Milton out of Hell in the first place, Cult Leader Jonah King, played by Billy Burke.
Now a select few of you may recognize him from this little series of movies that have come out in the last few years. The movies revolve around a mopey teenage girl who is slowly devouring her own face, a vampire who wears way too much body glitter, and a werewolf so poor he can’t afford a shirt. But MOST of you should remember him for delivering one of the greatest lines in the history of 24…“Kim, I will kill you.” Boom. What more do you need?
So the movie itself. Here is a story of a man who is in Hell, and see his daughter murdered, and her baby kidnapped by a cult leader (Billy Burke). He escapes Hell in order to save his grand-daughter and does so in Awesome-Fashion. The Devil’s Accountant (Fichtner) is sent to fetch Cage John Milton and bring him back to Hell. Waitress Piper (Amber Heard) tags along on the journey after Milton helps her out. Fun is had by all, especially the best henchmen ever – Man in Wig.
This was an action-packed thrill-ride, filled with quality cast and ridiculous events happening one after another. All 3 people I saw this with seemed to enjoy it, yet despite its customer satisfaction, it grossed only half of what the new Sandler crap-fest did, despite Sandler’s movie has already been out for a couple of weeks. And while not everyone will love DRIVE ANGRY as much as I did, I bet a smaller percentage of people are disappointed by it than that Sandler movie.
So, this movie gets credit for doing something original and letting you know it was gonna be stupid fun right out of the gate. On entertainment value, I give it 4 stars.
Images: Summit Entertainment
Spartacus: Blood and Sand – Season 2 Changes
Spartacus: Blood and Sand was full of blood and sand! It truly lived up to its name, and then some. Despite getting off to a slow start. They had a great ensemble cast, set pieces, and special effects for a paid cable program. I absolutely could not wait for the second season! But then Andy Whitfield, the show’s Spartacus, was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
I was instantly crestfallen, not only because it looked like there might not be a second season of Blood and Sand, but the man himself had a terrible disease.
Then came news that Whitfield was in remission and that season 2 was well on its way into production! I could just see all of that excessive blood flying all over the screen in anticipation.
Once more unfortunately came the news that the Lymphoma was back, and that Andy Whitfield would in fact not be returning for the new season. Along with this announcement, we got news that the show would move forward with a new actor playing Spartacus.
I instantly thought: “Forget it, how could anyone replace the guy we’ve all been watching play the Bringer of Rain each week?”
Whitfield in my opinion was an up and coming actor, whose career now may have ultimately been cut short. No one could replace, nor even come close to the character he portrayed in Blood and Sand. Now, here I still don’t know what to think of Whitfield’s replacement, Liam McIntyre, as I’ve no prior knowledge of him. However, after re-watching season 1 again, I am ready to give this new Spartacus a chance based on the merits of the show. I mean, it’s not like they are recasting MULTIPLE characters. Right?
BUT WAIT…
A recent article (via Deadline) is now indicating that Lesley-Ann Brandt who plays the love of Crixus, will also not be rejoining the season 2 cast as she is leaving to join the cast of CSI: NY. Her character Naevia had significant screen time in the first season adding intrigue to the sordid affair of Crixus and Lucretia.
Plus she was smoking hot so she will definitely be missed!
Although Brandt is leaving, IGN TV reported several days later that Lucy Lawless is returning to Blood and Sand in the excerpt below:
[quote]And while bidding farewell to Batiatus might be a bitter pill, we’ll still get to see Lucy Lawless return as Lucretia in Season 2, as it was announced last month that her character, indeed, survived the Ludus bloodbath. “It’s something we’ve talked about, going forward with each season, is trying to find that connective tissue of a villain – because obviously the hero will cross over through all the seasons – but trying to find a villain that can do it,” DeKnight said. “And I use the term ‘villain’ loosely because not all are villains, they’re just on the other side. But to find someone on the opposing side and carry them through to the next season. I was adamant that both [Batiatus and Lucretia] were going to die. And that Luctretia was going to die, but then I had this idea and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with her. And it would be a great element to add to Season 2.” So does that mean that Lucretia will now be a changed woman? Will she have learned a valuable lesson? “Oh no,” DeKnight laughed. “She learns no lesson. Lucretia survives her wound but, as you can imagine, she’s less than happy.”[/quote]
It is very promising to hear of Lucy Lawless returning. Her character, Lucretia, was an uber bitch throughout season 1 and was revealed to be even more devious than previously thought in Gods of the Arena.
She will definitely have unfinished business with Spartacus and Crixus, to say nothing of Ilithyia who was last seen as the doors were closed and sealed leaving all inside to death ad-gladium.
The second season is not scheduled to debut until 2012 which is still a year away. I would have liked another six episodes of Gods of the Arena, which has served as an excellent prequel to Blood and Sand. It has been good to see John Hannah’s portrayal of Lentulus Quintus Batiatus as he begins down a road to power littered with back stabbing and plotting.
I would highly recommend anyone who is a fan of swords, swearing, sex, and fighting to watch both Blood and Sand and Gods of the Arena. You may even get lucky and enjoy the excellent storyline which has plenty of surprises to keep you watching.
Thank You FilmDrunk! Sheen/Gibson/Bale/Baldwin Mashup!
Oh Charlie Sheen, you’re the gift that just keeps giving.
I’d like to point out that since my ‘Two Men and a Crackhead‘ piece, it’s been nothing but downhill for the show that’s so easy to hate. It now appears as though the show may be coming to an end and I couldn’t be happier. And apparently neither could Charlie Sheen seeing as he just wont shut up. He went on yet another radio show, and below is some of said audio. Thanks to our friends over at Filmdrunk have just created a masterpiece.
So Many Spidey Suits!
Oh boy, another few years pass by and we get yet another Spiderman suit! Even though unnecessary, I could tolerate a new costume if it looked cool but this one ranks right up there with the Iron Spider or the Scarlet Spider (It does count if it was Parker’s clone wearing the suit, right?).

In case you’ve been living under a rock somewhere, our beloved Johnny Storm died so hard that he was dead. Spiderman will be donning the suit to replace the dearly departed in the new Fantastic Four, now named the Future Foundation. Behold the newest Spidey suit in all of it’s black and white majesty! I suppose I don’t hate it as much as the Iron Spider suit, or the denim vested Scarlet Spider costume. I guess at this point he has so many suits that he could wear one in each of the comic books he now appears in and still have a couple in the closet.
So of course it’s not all about the suit. What to think of Spiderman being in this Future Foundation? He’s been on the team temporarily in the past, not this official. Will this be a permanent spot for him? I mean come on, how long can John boy possibly stay dead?
Even though I do enjoy Spiderman, I don’t think he needs to be on yet another super team. He is currently on the New Avengers roster, and the Mighty Avengers roster, and there is also his solo series. Next he would just have to join the X-men and he would be in almost every major Marvel title!
Marvel’s Next Big One: The Road to ‘Fear Itself’…
I remember a little over a year ago talking to my comic guy about the then upcoming Marvel event, the Heroic Age which was about to start up. It was supposed to return the heroes to a more peaceful and manageable existence. He was ready for the heroes to get back to basics and just be superheroes without all the complexities of real life added in. His main reasoning was that there had been too many ‘dark times’ for the Marvel superheroes, and it was time for a mood change.
I couldn’t have disagreed more. I love nothing more than seeing the Marvel heroes collectively fight for their lives and deal with loss as normal people do. I love seeing that heroes from Hawkeye to Captain America are not only vulnerable, but killable. And heroes like Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are mentally vulnerable. The last several years at Marvel had been all about this, dark and depressing. And the story that started it all was of course Avengers Disassembled, where the Avengers were literally – disassembled.
And done so, from the inside by one of their own. We have an unknown force messing with the Avengers, which results in multiple casualties, seeing Ant-Man and Hawkeye both killed in the first wave. Tony Stark is then ousted as the U.S. ‘Secretary of Defense’ and Avengers Mansion is all but destroyed. Numerous Avengers are put out of commission including She-Hulk, Vision, and the Wasp. The big reveal is that it was the Scarlet Witch committing all of these attacks, and it was actually quite heartbreaking to see why she did what she did.
Years earlier the Witch used her magic to become pregnant with twins, using Mephisto‘s essence, but they were suddenly taken from her when that essence returned to Mephisto. Imagine trying to cope with your kids just ceasing to exist, I’m not a mother but that has to be a cause for severe depression. Combined with constant abductions by jobbers such as Chthon and Immortus and manipulations by her loving dad Magneto, and even Agatha Harkness routinely wiping the memory of her children away it’s no wonder she suffered a nervous breakdown. Maybe this all could have been avoided with a nice psychiatrist seeing Wanda a couple times a week. After the heroes confront Wanda and a super throw down ensues…in House of M.
In House of M, the Marvel Universe is transformed by the Scarlet Witch’s reality altering powers into a mutant utopia where humans are the minority, and Magneto is the ruler of the United States. Once the heroes determine what has happened they realize that Magneto didn’t manipulate Wanda into doing this, but that it was her brother, Quicksilver. I mean seriously, who needs villains at this point?
By the end of House of M we are left with the majority of the mutant population de-powered due once again, to the Scarlet Witch .
Civil War begins with the heroes slowly recovering, and the mutants effectively sitting it out due to their kick in the oblongs from the events of House of M/Decimation. A shenanigan involving the New Warriors and an obliterated elementary school eventually culminates in the passing of the superhuman registration act, where all heroes will work under the U.S. government, sans secret identities to keep the public safe. The inevitable then happens, with heroes taking sides on the issue and all hell breaking loose between them. Like I said, who the hell needs villains at this point? The series ends with many heroes going underground and Captain America death.
The next event kind of comes out of left field, but The Secret Invasion storyline was still pretty decent, and was a stepping stone to the next event.
Basically there is a Skrull invasion of Earth. All the heroes unite to defeat the aliens, but in the end it is too late to stop our old, psychotic friend Norman ‘Goblin’ Osborn from stepping up and taking control of SHIELD. Under Osborn’s leadership SHIELD is renamed HAMMER. [Ed. – Reminisant of DC electing Lex Luther President]
This leads us into Dark Reign, where the world is slowly placed in the grip of the world’s villains. Norman Osborn replaces the Avengers with his own team of “superheroes” consisting of :
- Iron Patriot – Norman Osborn wearing a suit of Iron Man armor emblazoned with the star of Captain America.
- Hawkeye – Bullseye, Killer extraordinaire.
- Wolverine – Daken, the son of Wolverine.
- Spiderman – Mac Gargan, the Scorpion, wearing the Venom symbiote.
- Ms. Marvel – Moonstone
- Captain Marvel – Noh-Varr, Kree Warrior.
- Ares – Greek God of War.
- Sentry – Superpsycho.
Dark Reign the leads into Siege where Osborn tries to conquer Asgard, but is finally defeated by the Avengers and promptly arrested (His inner goblin finally reared it’s ugly head for all to see).
With the heroes finally united again, and the Heroic Age stuff about to wrap up it’s finally time for a new storyline for our superheroes.
The very ominous looking Fear Itself.
Not much is known about the seven part series except that the superheroes will be facing off against a God of Fear, perhaps from Asgard? The heroes will face their greatest fears, which should be interesting in itself. Just to see what currently haunts big hitters like the Thor, Captain America and the Hulk, sounds good. There is going to be a prologue where a supposed “concealed act” in Marvel history occurs that has ramifications for the story. This prologue involves the Red Skull during World War 2 and it reeks of some sort of change in continuity.
That part may be good or bad. From all of the recent promos for the storyline Asgard must figure in somehow with different trios of characters reaching for what look like different variations of Thor’s hammer Mjolnir.
I don’t need multiple doom and gloom storylines for the next five years, but I hope starting with Fear Itself Marvel gets back into the swing of making the stakes for our heroes high, and the ramifications of said event significant leading into the next one. So far Fear Itself is shaping up to be very interesting.
On the other hand I’m not excited about what Juggernaut appears to be doing in his promo picture. Is that Hercules in the peculiar position in front?