Parks and Recreation Finale Has Two Endings!

If you don’t watch Parks and Recreation you’re a moron.  The show is absolutely hilarious, and Amy Poehler is brilliant as the main character, Leslie Knope.  The show is currently in its fourth season on NBC; and the story arc of the season has primarily revolved around Leslie’s campaign for city council.  It’s been a rocky road on her way to election day, and the show’s writers have been extremely tight-lipped about what the outcome will be.  So tight-lipped, in fact, that they made the decision to film two different finales: one in which Leslie wins the election and one in which she loses.  It’s like they’re creating their very own ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ novel.

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‘Chronicle’ Director in Talks for ‘Venom’ Movie

Amongst the greatest movie atrocities ever committed, aside from Jar Jar Binks and all of George Lucas’ terrible Star Wars alterations, Spiderman 3 stands alone from many others. I don’t remember being quite so disappointed by a movie in my life as Peter Parker went Emo, Sandman was just a “guy trying to get his kid back” and Venom? Venom was saved as the closing act jobber played by That 70’s Show’s ‘Eric Foreman’ – Topher Grace.

What happened? Where was the Venom from the comics who was cold, calculating and basically a mountain of muscle? Instead, we get possibly the most whiny Eddie Brock imaginable, and a Venom who sounds like a velociraptor and has to peel back his face to show us Topher Grace with sharp teeth every time he wants to talk. It was a complete and utter betrayal, and nauseating display of a studio grabbing for the almighty buck right out of our pockets. Sam Raimi himself even let everyone in on the secret that this wasn’t even his vision of Venom at all, but the studio wanted him in there because he was sooooooo cool to the fans. Nevermind story or any of that kind of shit Sony, just fit him into your already horrible movie during the last fifteen minutes because, ya know… it’d be cool. UNCOOL!

But anyways, onward to the subject at hand.

Even after the debacle that was Venom in Spiderman 3, the powers that be have decided to give our favorite symbiote a second chance and are even attempting to place it in very capable hands. Josh Trank, the director of the newly successful movie Chronicle, has reportedly been tapped to take on directing duties for the newest Venom movie. Chronicle was a found footage approach movie that let us have a look at three young fellas who stumble upon telekinetic powers and then proceed to use them to dick around. There’s a tad bit more to it, but in the long run the movie cost 12 million to make and ended up grossing over 100 million. So, there’s definitely no reason a Venom movie should be terribly hard to make on a modest budget and still be profitable because let’s face it; the days of big budget films that don’t already have a huge fan base may be pretty much over. John Carter and Green Lantern are prime examples of that. Why not start off small and see where the box office revenue takes you before you determine whether or not there will be a sequel.

Next is the question of whether or not the Venom movie will tie into the forthcoming The Amazing Spider-Man movie and what Venom’s origin will be. In the other Spidey movies, they didn’t even bother utilizing the space shuttle angle, even though they had already used John Jameson in Spiderman 2. Instead, filmmakers decided that it would be a good idea to just have it fall from the sky like a meteor in the general vicinity of Peter Parker. In the new Venom, I’d think it would be a better idea to follow the Ultimate Spiderman comic book link of Peter and Eddie Brock being old childhood friends and Venom being a creation of both their parents. Of course they can change it up a little more but that seems like a simple, yet better way than a blob of black good falling from the sky. Only time will tell what direction the Venom movie will take, or if Josh Trank will indeed helm the movie. Rest assured, we will bring you news as soon as it hits!

Grizzly Review: John Carter

After all of the buzz surrounding the budget of John Carter, the aggressive marketing campaign leading up to it’s release and the many clips released by Disney, was it all worth it? In my opinion, yes. John Carter was a fully realized world filled with a group of characters brought to life by a very well rounded out cast of actors. I had thought the movie would appeal to a much wider audience, but after watching the movie it’s obvious that a lot of kids would be lost upon many of the story points. Or they would just not care and want to see more of the four armed Thark aliens and John Carter’s faithful pet Woola.

On the planet Mars, known to it’s inhabitants as Barsoom, the residents of the mobile city Zodanga threaten to overrun and conquer the world after gifted with the use of an ultimate weapon provided by the mysterious Therns. The only people left to oppose them on Barsoom are the noble people of Helium (Not the stuff you put in balloons.) led by Jeddak Tardos Mors (Ciarin Hinds), the father of the beautiful princess of Helium known as Dejah Thoris. That’s the first piece of the story, while the seconds lies in the form of former Confederate cavalry man John Carter. After practically stumbling upon a Thern in a cave, John Carter is transported via the Thern’s medallion to the world of Barsoom where he will play an integral part in it’s fate and that of the princess Dejah Thoris.

The first 15-20 minutes of the movie introduce us to the character of John Carter and the life he now leads on Earth. He is obviously a bit of a haunted man, which is alluded to throughout the movie and at one point shown to us in a spectacular battle scene where John Carter takes on a horde of green martians that is interspersed with flashbacks to his past on Earth. As I said before, the movie was a bit bigger on story than I thought but still had a great mix of action in between all of that. The story was a bit more intricate than just a marriage between the Princess and the Zodangan leader Sab Than (Played by Dominic West) but involves the Therns as the main threat, and not only limited to Barsoom. I won’t spoil anything in the review, so just go see the movie!

The special effects and motion capture were of course beautifully done in the film. The Tharks and John Carter’s initial interactions with them were interesting and actually pretty damn funny. Willem Dafoe’s Tars Tharkas mistakenly thinking John Carter’s name is Virginia had me laughing more than once. The world of Barsoom was beautifully realized on screen even in the scenes in the desert wastelands. Helium and Zodanga were both unique in their own way and I can’t wait to see more of the planet’s many locales explored if they do indeed have a sequel to the movie. It’s definitely left open to one by the movie’s end, but done so in a way where if they don’t have one there is still some closure.

I found Taylor Kitsch to be reasonably likeable in the film. He showed that he could definitely be a decent leading man in a movie, and he’ll have a shot to do it once again in Battleship this summer. Almost overshadowing him in my opinion was Lynn Collins, who played the role of Dejah Thoris perfectly. I was thankful she wasn’t going to play the princess who is constantly kidnapped and held hostage. Though not invincible, Dejah can definitely hold her own with a sword. I really think that the warrior woman thing is overdone in film, but I didn’t have a problem with it in this movie. John Carter, though seemingly invincible in the movie also had his moments of weakness as he was immobilized at one point by the Thern Matai Shang, played by Mark Strong. The chemistry between Kitsch and Collins was working in the movie as well, which makes me hope we can see it develop more in a sequel. This goes without even mentioning how hot Lynn Collins looked in the film… give me a martian girl anytime. (Not a Thark though.) Also give me Lynn Collins in more movies besides another Wolverine movie.

Overall I give the movie 4 out of 5 Tharks. The movie kept me interested but did have a bit of a lull towards the middle part. Even though Dominic West and Mark Strong did a fine job of playing the villains of the story, I’d have preferred they were in it just a little more in scenes directly with John Carter. I truly hope the movie makes enough to justify a sequel, because now that they’ve got the story and many characters pretty much established the sequel could jump right into things instead of spending any time on Earth. (Pay attention Green Lantern sequel.) The movie is totally worth the price of a theater ticket, though you may as well stay away from the 3D like I did. No movie is truly worth a 15 dollar ticket.

“Ohhhh baby – Youu, you got what I neeeeed, but you say he’s just a friend. Wait, what are we doing?”

‘Rambo 5’ Still a Possibility?

For those of you wanting to see 80 year old Sylvester Stallone running around killing more random foreigners, then look no further than Rambo 5: Rambo kills Mexicans! Okay, so that’s not really what the title is but there is more talk about there being a fifth installment of the franchise which last saw a tired looking John Rambo owning people left and right in Burma. Supposedly this would be the final installment in the Rambo saga, being more of a small town affair as First Blood was. I see John causing some carnage against cartel folks in a small border town and I’m good with that. I hate cartel guys.

This guy is so excited for RAMBO 5, Sly had to subdue him.

Given that the initial rumors of Rambo 5 involved him helping a special forces team hunt down some sort of genetically enhanced human/werewolf this seems like more of a story that Rambo might fit in. I’m all for crazy were-beast things, but I honestly can’t see the franchise making an almost Sci-Fi liked jump like that.

I’m just surprised that Sylvester Stallone has managed to prolong his career this long. With the success of the most recent Rocky and Rambo installments, and the hugely successful action star fest known as the Expendables, Stallone doesn’t seem to be going anywhere fast. Expendables 2 is right down the road and it looks just as promising as the first. What’s everyone else thinking about another Rambo? Has that franchise run it’s course? Truthfully I’m ready for a return of sorts to the feel of First Blood, and I can’t think of a better way for them to end the franchise than with the idea they have right now. Sound off below with your comments!

Here is Dr. Kronner on Vacation a few years back with Rambo himself and a crazy Indian guy with a necktie.