In the long wait for season 3 of Game Of Thrones two things have become abundantly clear. The first is that HBO is full of a bunch of sadists, who will leak images, previews, clips and trailers in rampant abundance, all with the terrible prospect of “getting you excited” to watch a season of a show you’re probably definitely made up your mind to watch or not. I’m convinced there isn’t a person alive who hasn’t already made up their mind to watch the third season when it comes on, because you’ve either watched the show, and CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER HOLY CRAP, or you haven’t and thusly aren’t bothered. Accordingly, the other thing that’s become abundantly clear is how badly my editor loves to get me to write about all of HBO’s sadistic trappings, as if somehow not writing about every single little Game Of Thrones related pop up and mish-mash that comes by will actually personally hurt him and his feelings. [<– This is true.] Or his dog’s feelings or something. It’s gotten to the point where I’m afraid he’ll start sending me pictures of doe-eyed animals like those Sarah Mclachlan PETA commercials, telling me that by not writing up every GoT trailer I’m personally letting more and more kittens die each day. [<— Also True.]
So know that by writing this, I’m serving my role as a functioning member of society, and not letting lots of little kittens die for reasons I’ve made up entirely in my head. Mostly because waiting this long for Game Of Thrones is literally driving me insane. Firstly we have the bevy of trailers, starting with the newly released “Trailer #2” for the season, which by writing about here has saved a small black long-haired kitten named “Coco”. She loves to have her belly rubbed and only has one eye!
REMOVED BY YOUTUBE
Next we have a shorter preview, similar to an older trailer I’ve probably written about, the difference is this time by writing about it I’m saving a little tortoiseshell kitten named Gidget. She’s a little timid but once you get to know her she’s very loving!
After that we have the “Extended” season 3 trailer, which is relatively similar to the other trailers only it has more stuff in it because it’s extended! In turn the kittens that are being saved by writing about this are also extended, a pair of brother/sister kittens named Scratches and Patches. They’re Calico and Russian blue, and utterly inseparable. Watching them play together is the bees knees! OR THE CAT’S PAJAMAS! HAHAHA!
And lastly after those three trailers we’re left a final 14 minute primer for season 3 of GoT, which is essentially just one big recap for everyone online who has a short attention span, or no time to sit down and re-watch the first two seasons. Which I suppose some people don’t have the time to do, but when you’re saving kittens every day is a special day of wonder and excitement that can only benefit from watching Game Of Thrones in the background! I watched this 14 minute primer with Larfleeze, a little orange tabby kitten I’ve named after the leader of the Orange Lanterns from DC Comics! Larfleeze loves Tyrion!
Now that all the kittens have been saved, it’s time to move onto the puppies! Yes, this IS the internet where cats reign supreme, but let us not shun the path of adorable puppies in our wake, because they surely need saving too. Also, my editor (and apparently other weird, stupid people) think that little tidbits like the next few things are cute and wonderful instead of annoying, soul crushing and pointless. Well onward, because there’s a corgi puppy who’s waiting at the door, and only by watching this inane High School Style Parody of Game Of Thrones will he not freeze to death in the cold! Winter is coming, Corgi puppy! Get in here!
Coming near the home stretch here, some band I’ve never heard of called The Hold Steady will be confirmed to perform a drinking song from the Game Of Thrones universe. It’s called “The Bear And The Maiden Fair”, but for the life of me I cannot remember it from the books. Which is all good and well because I’m sure I’ll skip or not notice it in the main show anyway. The only song that I care about is “The Rains Of Castemere”, but I can’t tell any of you why without being the most evil bastard ever. Fortunately, by writing about this I’ve saved a whole bundle of adorable pug puppies! They’re so spunky and full of love! Now here, watch a totally unrelated song by The Hold Steady that will hopefully convince you that their version of a make-believe song from a make-believe universe will sufficiently be believable enough to be consistent with that world as a viable drinking song! What’s that Pugsly? You want your tummy rubbed! Sure!
One last thing! Now that you’ve seen every possible Game Of Thrones related video and even a few that are only tangentially related, there are PICTURES TO LOOK AT! WONDEROUS PICTURES! Pictures of the same characters you’ve seen before looking at things! In fact the only one even worth seeing is the comparison picture between Bran from season 1 and Season 3, because apparently time is linear and people age? Also puberty? Also I’m dying inside? Whatever, I’ve just saved a cuddly little bulldog named Francis! He’s named after the Pope and he snores when he sleeps! Just like the real Pope!
And finally here’s a picture of Isaac Hempstead Wright, who is apparently now forcing his life as Bran onto other people in the real world. Proving that Game Of Thrones induced insanity is a real thing. He can’t not make everyone Hodor to him now.
Well there you have it. That’s all of the little annoying Game Of Thrones tidbits, previews, songs, trailers, pictures, previews of pictures, trailer-views, tidpics, pre trailers, songtures, trailpics, picture previews and everything else in between for Game Of Thrones. Which if you didn’t know for some impossible reason, starts up again this month on March 31st. In 2013. Unfortunately all of this is a cycle, and will repeat yet again for Season 4 next year. Now don’t mind me while I start petting all of these kittens and puppies to stave off my lingering, throbbing insanity that looms in anticipation of the anticipation of waiting for Season 4. Now play puppies and kittens!