The new trailer for Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows has finally arrived online. Starring Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins, a vampire who wakes up in a world that’s not his own to find a family he doesn’t understand. I think I’ll let the official synopsis explain the rest:
The crazy success of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has created the market for a slew of similarly themed books starring historical or fictional characters versus the Occult. The first of these to hit the big screen will be Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, ahead of the proto-generator Pride and Prejudice and Zombies which isn’t scheduled to come out until 2013. Well, the trailer is out and the first thing that’s apparent is that AL:VH is swinging for the fences.
Sigh. Gamma Squad‘s got the latest on casting for Warner Bros.’s Akira project and boy oh boy, there’s no getting away from how bad an idea this movie is. To recap, Garret Hedlund (Tron: Legacy) is still the probable choice for the role of Kaneda, Helena Bonham-Carter and Gary Oldman (both from Harry Potter) have been offered roles as Lady Miyako and Colonel Shikishima, and Kristen Stewart (Twilight) has been offered the role of Kei, who you can expect will have her character thrillingly revitalized as a bored white girl with no discernible personality.
Here’s some more exciting news, if you think ‘exciting’ means crapping on things that exist: Kaneda and Tetsuo are now brothers! Betcha didn’t see that coming. Now this conflicted relationship between old friends decaying into resentment and hate is replaced with…sibling rivalry, I guess? Cool?
Speaking of Tetsuo, Warner Bros. is now screen-testing 8 actors for the role of the best-friend-turned-psychic-monster, though none of the listed actors look to me like they can pull off being in a cyber-punk biker gang:
I suppose of all of the candidates, the only actors I’m familiar with are Richard Madden, Paul Dano and Michael Pitt. I really enjoy Game of Thrones and am a fan of Paul Dano, however, so I think by default my go-to is Michael Pitt. He’s great on Boardwalk Empire, but I don’t have a vested interest in it, so I don’t mind seeing him tarnished by this tripe.
To be fair I shouldn’t be this cynical without having seen the finished product, but in my defense, WHAT THE HELL, HOLLYWOOD??
Akira is the latest title to go down the Hollywood remake poop-chute, and about a week ago it was reported that Garrett Hedlund (TRON: Legacy) was at the top of the list for the role of ‘Kaneda’. While rumors of Hedlund playing the gang leader and sweet motorcycle-owner remain pretty thin, Gamma Squad reports roles have been offered to former Harry Potter co-stars Gary Oldman and Helena Bonham-Carter.
Oldman would play ‘Colonel Shikishima’, the man in charge of tracking down the not-yet cast Tetsuo, and Bonham-Carter would take on the character of ‘Lady Miyako’, “a high priestess and former test subject of a secret government project led by the Colonel,” who as far as I can remember was not originally a part of the Anime film. It’s difficult to say how the new Akira will turn out; the original movie is a cult classic, and it was one of the very first Anime films I ever saw. Suffice it to say, I was too young and new to the genre to get most of it, but from what I remember it’s a very complex, very cool and visually impressive sci-fi story set in future Japan.
How director Jaume Collet-Sera will translate that to an Americanized Hollywood picture remains to be seen, but just having Commissioner Jim Gor…uh, Gary Oldman attached would get me on their side.