This week’s dirty peice of scum comes in the form of not a celebrity, not a world championship basketball team, not a shitty looking hat or an evil family friendly corporation. No this one was an every man. A regular joe who was lucky and fortunate enough to win the lottery. Yes, 59 year old Leroy Fick is still using his bridge card (food stamps) even though he is a 2 millionaire. And what’s worse? He doesn’t feel bad about it. He reasons that if the government is going to be taking half the lotto winnings in taxes then he should still be able to use his food stamps. What scum ridden turd. Of course it goes without saying that there are thousands of people out there who really do need this kind of assistance and they aren’t millionaires.
I really hope he bought the ticket with his food stamps
I’m glad my tax dollars go to scum suckers like this, it makes me feel good about going to work everyday so a millionaire leech can take advantage of the system. I actually applaud Michigan officials for working on getting his food stamps revoked. Mr. Fick, maybe after you squander your million dollars you can reapply for your bridge card. Scum bag.
Tonight marks the 2nd time in that last year that Shawn Ryan created show, which is better than majority of the programming on Television, will be canceled after only a season on the air. The first was of course Terriers, which was one of my favorite shows ever. The next now is The Chicago Code. Tonight was the last episode of the rookie season for the show, and it will in all likely hood be the last episode ever. Unless however it’s gets a rare cable pickup, the way TNT did with NBC’s Southland, . That however is a ‘Hail Mary’ pass thrown up several times a year that almost never gets caught.
This episode aired on HBO Go (Online) the same night as episode 6 did which was a welcome treat and a precursor to one of the best episodes yet. So if you haven’t watched episode 7 online then there are major spoilers awaiting you ahead. This episode will air on TV May 29th.
We start the episode by finally getting to see Tywin Lannister on screen, who is definitely one of the characters people will grow to hate most over the course of the show. He’s one of those characters you love to hate and in the scene he has with Jaime you get to see what his ambitions are and the expectations of his house. Tywin is currently moving with 60,000 Lannister soldiers to protect the honor of his house against the Starks and their allies. As he questions and lectures Jaime, Tywin guts and skins a deer which for some reason made the scene all that better for me. He tells Jaime that they should have acted decisively, where if Tyrion was taken by Catelyn then Jaime should have killed Ned instead of leaving him alive. Jaime claims that he didn’t finish him because of the interference by one of their men and it wouldn’t have been a clean kill which Tywin scoffs at. Jaime, despite what everyone thinks of him, has a measure of honor that is his alone.
As the show goes on and we get more into his character it will become evident that Jaime has almost no identity for himself. He is constantly trying to live up to roles that others assign him from Aerys Targaryen to Tywin Lannister and later you will see from Cersei too. It all began with Aerys raising him to the Kingsguard years ago, which angered Tywin to the point of resigning his position of Hand of the King since his heir was now under oath to serve until death thanks to the “Mad King”. That is why Tywin tells Jaime that he needs to him to become the man he was meant to be now and not later. The look on Jaime’s face before he leaves clearly shows us that he has almost no idea what he wants, which is a great precursor of the route his character will take in future seasons.
Finally after being MIA for a couple episodes, Jon Snow and the Night’s Watch return to our screens albeit briefly. After Benjen’s horse is found riderless at the Wall entrance, we get to see Jon, Sam, Grenn and Pip all graduate. This is accompanied by the big disappointment of Jon not being made a ranger but a steward. Stewards are the caretakers of the Night’s Watch, they clean up, send ravens and do the menial day to day tasks in all of the castles of the Wall. So you might see why a swordsman like Jon might be a little pissed off about it. But as Sam points out, Maester Aemon assigned him to be the attendant to Lord Commander Mormont where Jon will learn of all the functions of the Night’s Watch and it’s command structure at Castle Black. More than likely Jon will eventually succeed Lord Commander Mormont.
We also get to see Jon and the recently converted (To the Old Gods) Sam recite their oaths in the Godswood a mile North of the Wall. It was a nicely touching scene until Ghost ruins it by bringing back a severed and frozen hand from somewhere in the woods. Imagine being Jon and wondering if that were your Uncle’s hand your pet direwolf brought back. Not that any of us has ever had a pet direwolf but you get where I’m coming from.
After the last episode with the Targaryens, it will be hard to follow up in this one. I still can’t get over seeing the pot of molten gold poured over Viserys’ head. It will live on as one of the best TV deaths of all time. Daenerys is trying to convince Drogo to eventually invade the Seven Kingdoms where their son will rule, but Drogo is reluctant telling her a king does not need a throne, only a horse to sit atop. However, after an assassin in the marketplace attempts to give Daenerys poisoned wine to cash in on the bounty on her head, Drogo is furious and in Vaes Dothrak he vows to invade and destroy the Seven Kingdoms for the attempt on his wife and child’s lives. This was a very powerful scene that I can’t come close to putting into a review as words. I have to give credit to Jason Momoa for sounding so convincing in a language created for the books and the series!
I saved the best for last in the events that are going down at King’s Landing. Cersei confronts Ned in a garden in the Red Keep, telling him that she thinks it’s time he went home to Winterfell after everything that has happened. Ned then reveals the realization he had come to in the previous episode; that Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella are all Jaime’s children and not Robert’s. Cersei admits to it, telling Ned of how Robert always loved Lyanna Stark even after he married her and that her and Jaime belong together. Ned offers her an ultimatum to take her children and leave King’s Landing before Robert returns from the hunt because he will be one angry King. Robert does indeed return from the hunt but he is gravely injured…by a boar. He missed his thrust and the tusks damaged him beyond repair, but at least good ole’ Robert killed it in the end. He has Ned write his last wishes, which are that Ned become protector of the realm until Joffrey comes of age. Ned writes everything but changes “son” to “heir” on the parchment, because Joffrey has no claim if he is a product of his mother and uncle’s incest. Robert also tells Ned to cancel the order of assassination against Daenerys, telling him that Ned was right. Unfortunately according to Lord Varys “those birds have flown”. This is when things start to heat up even more as Ned lets two important opportunities pass him up due to his great sense of honor.
The first opportunity is presented by Renly Baratheon, who is the King’s youngest brother if you haven’t figured that out. He urges Ned to seize Joffrey in the middle of the night so that as protector he can hold all of the power against the Lannisters. Renly even offers him a hundred men loyal to him in assistance of Ned in this task. Ned however refuses to shed blood in the castle that Robert ruled and to taking children from their beds in the middle of the night. So not only has Ned shown his cards to Cersei and alerted her that he knows of her incest, he has refused Renly’s support which would have been a great help. Next Ned summons Petyr Littlefinger Baelish to help him in taking Cersei and her children captive during the day with minimal to no bloodshed.
The Lannister men and guards far outnumber anything Ned has left with him and he asks that Littlefinger secure the 2000 men of the City Watch to help them. Littlefinger agrees even after he refuses Lord Baelish’s plan to securing the throne. Baelish tells Ned that he should install Joffrey as King and watch over him closely (pretty much as a hostage) and use his tainted birth as blackmail should he or the Lannisters ever step out of line. And if Joffrey was removed then he suggests that the more likeable Renly be brought in as King, even though Stannis is the older brother. Stannis though is so rigid and uncompromising that the kingdoms would fall into war with no one supporting his claim. Ned however will not let someone not even having Baratheon blood sit on the throne, let alone the youngest Baratheon brother. Even if it means the realm certainly falling into war, Ned’s honor only allows him to do things by the book.
Ned confronts the Lannisters in the throne room, presenting Robert’s letter making him protector of the realm and even denouncing Joffrey as having no rights to the throne. Cersei rips the letter up before everyone, ordering Ser Barristan Selmy to arrest Stark immediately. Just as the City Guard seems ready to fight the Lannisters they turn on the Stark men killing them all while Littlefinger places a dagger to Ned’s throat telling him -“You were right not to trust me.” Things are not looking good for Ned and the Starks. I promise the next episode will show why George R.R. Martin’s books stand alone from any other fantasy books out there.
I give this episode a 4.5 bears out of 5, because despite being absent of much action there was plenty of plot and character development. I can already tell that the next episode will be a five out of five and the viewers are either going to love it or hate it.
Fresh off of last night’s Over the Limit, Jerry Lawler makes his way to the ring. Victorious over Michael Cole, Jerry brings out Bret the Hitman Hart to help him celebrate. I seriously was so glad to see Cole get humiliated last night not only by Hart and Lawler, but by Eve and JR as well. I’m hoping Cole will either go back to being a non heel commentator or just go to Smackdown because I can’t stand the sound of his voice. Surprisingly as Bret Hart is talking, he is interrupted by… R Truth?
Truth of course sits there babbling on about how he should get a title shot and how maybe he needs to beat on a hall of famer to get some respect. Good call Truth, going the Jericho route. Hart of course tells him to bring it on, but then that irritating John Cena music comes on and out comes the still WWE champ. He tells Truth the truth about what a nut bag he is and is about to take him on before the anonymous Raw manager (still? Really?) interrupts them all announcing he may give R Truth a shot after the main event tag match tonight, between CM Punk/R-Truth and John Cena/Rey Mysterio.
Our next match is a tag-team championship match between the champions Kane and Big Show vs Nexus members David Otungah and Michael McGillicutty. The match goes just like every other Kane-Big Show tag match. The opposite team unrealistically competes, except this time against the Nexus you can be guaranteed of cheating. That is of course what happens except this time they don’t get caught and it results it the Kane-Show losing their titles. I can honestly say this makes things a little better because nothing garners more interest in a match than seeing heels lose the belt. Otungah and McGillicutty are pretty damned boring with not a whole lot of talent going around, and I can’t wait until someone else takes the belts from them. It for sure doesn’t look like Show and Kane will be getting a rematch soon, since Big Show had his leg ran over in an altercation involving Alberto Del Rio and his Ferrari.
Finally the inevitable happens and Michael Cole comes down to the ring looking as if he’s going to cry. But the guy actually apologizes to not only Jerry Lawler, but everyone else and the fans. His only wish is that he can commentate side by side with Jerry on Raw and put the whole thing behind them. Jerry accepts after getting in a couple more jabs in at Cole. Thank god the feud is done and I can finally deal with Michael Cole being around again.
Immediately after, The Miz comes out with his butt buddy Alex Riley to bitch and complain about how he deserves another shot at the belt. The general manager responds by telling Miz no and monkey boy Miz fires Riley in a rage. He even slaps Riley causing the guy to snap. It was actually pretty gratifying to see Riley finally put an ass whooping on the Miz.
Yup, that’s the Miz
The next sees all of the lovely divas coming down to the ring for an eight woman tag match. I would tell you everyone involved but after Kelly Kelly and one of the Bellas start the match it is interrupted by Kharma who gets into the ring and inexplicably falls to her knees having a nervous breakdown as the divas watch on puzzled. I was a little puzzled too as we come back from commercial and all of the divas are gone. Uuuuuhhh okay.
We are then presented with a match between the U.S. Champion Kofi Kingston and Drew McIntyre, which a decent match but all too brief as many of the matches were tonight. All three of them…
After a nice Macho Man memorial the main event finally gets started with Bret Hart as the special guest referee. The match was pretty decent yet once again only about 7 minutes long after commercials. After a few twists and turns in the end Cena and Mysterio won with help from the ref. It felt a little cheap but they’ve made such a joke of R Truth that I find it hard to care. I was hoping for a little more out of a two-hour wrestling show instead of thirty minutes (if even) of actual matches. Booooo!
Ok this is going to be a quick one, since I am juggling a new-born baby, a recovering wife, and my want to share my hockey opinion with you all. God, I am so generous. You’re welcome! Anyways, let’s do this….
After overcoming a dismal Game 1 start, it appeared Boston was set to take the Eastern Conference Title with the games 2 and 3 wins…but then game 4 happened. Wow, what a meltdown. Allowing 5 unanswered goals after securing a 3 goal lead in the first period, embarrassing.
So now we have a best of 3 series with Home Ice advantage currently with the Bruins, but the momentum is clearly with Tampa Bay. Tampa Bay’s offensive domination has been simply amazing, minus the game 3 hiccup, scoring 15 GOALS IN 4 GAMES with St. Louis and Lecavalier leading the charge with 17 playoff points each! While I expect Tampa to come out firing in game 5, and continue their game 4 domination, one thing that can’t be forgotten is Tim Thomas’s ability to bounce back from a shelling and win a game for his team (unlike the goaltenders in the Bestern, I mean Western Conference, who can get easily rattled after poor performances).
If Boston is going to make it out of this series alive, it’s going to have to be on the shoulders of Thomas and hope he puts on his Vezina hat and pull off more game 3 shut-out performances.
Prediction: Tampa Bay in 7 and Steve Yzerman GM of the Year…Ride the Lightning baby!!
Here at Grizzly Bomb we love Horror Movies, both good and bad. Here are a few that are so bad they’re good. Get it? Good.
#10. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)
Prostitutes, chainsaws, and Leatherface… what could be better? In Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre) plays he leader of a cult. Basically, the cult consists of hookers who love to cut up their Johns-turned-Victims with chainsaws. The group is discovered by a detective searching for a runaway, leaving for an interesting story and some fantastically horrible, but very sexy acting.
FUN FACT from Wikipedia:
The film begins with the disclaimer “The chainsaws used in this motion picture are real and dangerous! They are handled here by seasoned professionals. The makers of this motion picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous sex.” The film ends with the promise of the sequel “Student Chainsaw Nurses”, which was never made.
#9. Rabid Grannies (1988)
This movie…is ridiculous. A nice big family out in the country gets together for their two grandmothers’ birthdays to celebrate. One of their grandchildren is a boy who worships the devil. They open his gift, and become cannibals, who need to eat all of their loved ones. This film is mostly ridiculous, but the gore is phenomenal. It was originally released as Les Mémés Cannibales in France. It is absolutely hilarious, and you will never look at your sweet old granny the same.
Fun fact: The DVD version of this movie had too much gore, and a lot of the gross stuff was taken out. The bonus features of the DVD show all of the previously removed content.
This is one of my favorites on the list. This genius plot would touch any P.M.S.-ing woman’s heart…. an ice cream mogul trying to save the business. In “The Stuff”, a white foamy, creamy substance begins bubbling from the earth. FOR SOME REASON someone sees this substance and thinks… hmm… I’d like to taste that! It tastes so delicious that it becomes addictive, and people go crazy over it. Little do they know, it is parasitic and starts to seep into their brains. The people turn into zombie-like creatures. This plot has deeper holes in it than a Britney Spears love doll…. but it is fantastic just the same.
Fun fact: The scene in the motel where the Stuff comes out of the mattress and pillows and attacks the man on the wall and ceiling was shot in a room that could turn upside down, allowing the Stuff to move up and down the wall. It was exactly the same room used in A Nightmare on Elm Street when Johnny Depp’s character is sucked into his bed and his blood is regurgitated back out onto the ceiling.
#7. Howling 2: Your Sister Is A Werewolf/Howling II: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch (1985)
This movie has been called “breathtakingly awful”, and deservedly so. The Howling II is unfathomabley silly. Karen, the heroine from the first movie of the series, has died and they are now having her funeral. Evidence surfaces that she is a werewolf. Because of this, the character Stefan goes to put a titanium stake through Karen’s dead body. While trying to do this, two other characters Ben and Jenn, along with Stefan are attacked by Werewolves. They go on a quest to find Stirba… the Werewolf bitch… the SEXY werewolf bitch with huge jugs. This is an action-packed waste of a Thursday night if you are looking for a good horror flick. Then again, it is SO bad that it makes it good again.
Fun Fact: The movie is mentioned in the Yo La Tengo song “From a Motel 6” in the line “I climb where I can see – you’re close but I won’t reach. Blank stare at the TV- THE HOWLING II’s on Channel 3 I drift off to sleep, while the snow falls on the screen”.
#6. Critters (1986)
Critters has a huge cult following. Why, I do not understand. I thought this movie was ridiculous and annoying. Since it is widely received as a greatly bad horror flick, I must include it.
The Plot: “A massive ball of furry creatures from another world eat their way through a small mid-western town followed by intergalactic bounty hunters opposed only by militant townspeople.”
BASICALLY, little demonic Furbys and bounty hunters from outer space make for a movie with some laughs and little to keep me interested. The cow-eating scene was gross. UDDERly disturbing. Get it? I’m funny. LAUGH AT MY JOKES!
Fun Fact: The Critters movie series has a total of four movies. That is correct… THEY MADE SEQUELS, and one of them stars a young Leonardo DiCaprio. :/
#5. Microwave Massacre (1983)
Every guy has probably thought once or twice about shoving your woman in an insanely large microwave…. and eating her legs? This movie is phenomenal. In this movie, Donald plays the husband of May, a snooty woman who tries to be classy and is in fact no better than her bologna-eating neighbors. She buys a comically huge microwave one day to help her prepare her terrible food. After arguing one night, a drunken Donald decided to beat her incessantly with a pepper grinder and push his wife into a microwave. After finding her body in the large appliance the next morning, he is horrified…. but not for long. He decides for some reason to begin eating his wife. He packages her meat and stores it in his fridge. He does the same with her sister, who comes looking for her. He has a heart attack, and his wife’s head is found in his fridge. His friends realize he has been giving them May-sandwiches. I loved this movie. Top notch.
#4. Vampire Hookers (1978)
The best motto of any sexy vampire movie: “Don’t let them bite…or they’ll suck you dry!”
Orgies, vampire fapping, and vampires who tan. This is seriously amazing. I have never seen such little attention paid to detail. In this movie, John Carradine (Young Frankenstein) is an aged vampire who has a bevy of vampiric beauties who lure many of their customers back to his lair. It was filmed in the 70s, so I was glad that the drawn-out orgy scene didn’t show any 70s mega-bush.
Vampire Hookers was a hilarious movie with a very Scooby-Doo-like comedy to it (FOLLOW THAT CAB!)
#3. Slugs (1988)
This is one of the scariest movies on my list.
The creepy-crawly feeling you get when you see a centipede crossing your bedroom wall… you get that feeling a lot in the movie Slugs.
It is quite ridiculous, but totally worth watching. In this movie, people keep suffering gruesome and unsuspecting deaths.
Mike Brady (Not the dad from the Brady Bunch), a doctor, develops the theory that this is the work of slugs. After being laughed at a whole lot, his theories are proven by the “slug professional”.
#2. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
After his older brother (psycho Santa) gets slayed at the conclusion of the first film, Ricky, psycho Santa’s baby brother, has an ax to grind with the naughty and continues to spread the family brand of holiday fear. He goes through killing innocent townspeople in horrible ways dressed as Santa.
Now, I hadn’t seen the first movie of the series, which ended up being just fine because of all of the flashbacks, they show almost all of it in here.
In fact, the movie ends with a dream sequence, involving scenes shot from the first movie. When you combine the awful acting, the shoddy cinematography, and the eyebrows… this movie is so bad it becomes good again.
Thank you to the big boss man for this suggestion.
#1. S.I.C.K. (Serial Insane Clown Killer) 2003
S.I.C.K. will always be on the top of my hilariously bad yet fantastically great horror flicks. I love this movie for several reasons, not the least of which is the acting. Oh my, the acting. It is very bad, despite how hard they are obviously trying to make it good. The plot: The main character, Brandon, invites some of his work friends and their women to his uncle’s cabin to spend the weekend. When eerie things start happening, like doll heads in the fridge (Dexter?) and finding what looks like a human butcher shop in Brandon’s uncle’s shed, they FOR SOME REASON do not suspect Brandon or his uncle to be doing these things. You’d figure that they would, considering when the power goes out Brandon says “MY UNCLE has a flashlight here” and when they can’t get a hold of anyone he says “MY UNCLE has a CB radio!”… followed by “MY UNCLE has a tool shed”. The “My Uncle” thing becomes sort of a running joke. My little sister Jessica saw this one with me, and we still say that to one another to get a laugh. The group travels out to the woods by the cabin and a killer clown chases them to kill them. You’ll never guess who the killer clown ends up being. It is worth watching ten times over. Everyone should see this spectacularly horrid film.
I hope you enjoyed my compilation of the ten best of the worst horror movies of all time. I realize that there are two different hooker movies in here. Guest writer Tim says that “It is because hookers make for great horror movies because no one cares if they die”. Zing. “And awayyy we go!” (If you watch S.I.C.K. you will get that joke).
Grizzly Bomb 