All Hallow’s Eve is quickly approaching and I love it! I love a good scare almost as much as I love my collectibles. So it seemed like the perfect time to combine the two and so a new entry into Homemade Horror is born. As always I look at more underground artists and creators and showcase some of the amazing finds I have found online that have sent a shiver of joy down my spine. Interested in what I found? Then read on.
Hollywood does not seem ready to discard its obsession with remakes and re-imaginings quite yet. For every original concept or literary adaptation you can be sure, hot on its tail, is a modified version of someone’s cherished cinematic memory. When it comes to remakes it seems that the ’80s horror movie genre always takes a huge hit. The Hitcher, Stepfather, Day of the Dead and The Fog are just a handful of ’80s classics (well maybe classic is a bit strong) which have gotten a new coat of paint that they never really needed. If we are lucky these films will entertain, but more often they become another in a long line of soulless cash grabs.
People love nostalgia so the reasons behind these remakes are quite clear, people will pay to see them. But people will also pay to see these franchises resurrected in a slightly different way. Direct sequels can be hit and miss, but at least we recognize the characters and mythos involved. The other way to go is to structure the feature around a different format instead. Hannibal and Bates Motel (though originally novel adaptations) are two examples of films turned into TV shows. Warner Brothers seems to be going this route, with its digital production division Blue Ribbon announcing that one of the many projects it has under development is a new series based on those extraterrestrial flying fur balls, Critters.
Critters was a New Line Cinema franchise which started in 1986 and has four films in its cannon. It involved some rather nasty little alien creatures called Krites, who whizzed around the room like Sonic the Hedgehog and had a tendency to shoot their quills, as well as their teeth, into people. As well as having a slightly disturbing element to them, the Critters movies are most fondly remembered for the sense of humor that accompanied all the mayhem.
Now relatively little is known so far about Warner Bros Digital return of the Krites, but the news did spark off a reaction with the fans, like Jordan Downey (Thankskilling). Downey decided that he wanted in on this new Critters return and he left quite an inventive calling card to grab people’s attention A short movie called Critters: Bounty Hunter, which is a simple tale of hunter vs Krite, that you can watch below. This shows that you can continue a franchise successfully without reformatting it…
As you can see the short retains the spirit of the first two Critters movies with keeping the action contained in one small, recognizable location. The action is fast paced and quite tense in places, but the trademark dark humor remains (nothing better than hearing an alien swearing in his native tongue!). The attention to detail is superb, with the bounty hunter design looking very much like it did when it was first seen way back in 1986, and the Krite itself looking just as menacing as ever. Below is an extract from Jordan’s YouTube channel telling us a little about the production of the short.
Critters: Bounty Hunter was completed from start to finish in under two months with a small budget and an even smaller crew. All in, a total of six people worked on the movie: Myself, Kevin Stewart, Ricky Fosheim, Nick Soole, Troy Smith and Gina Luciani. We shot for two nights at a house in Mammoth Lakes, California. The Critter puppet was built by Troy Smith who worked with us on both ThanksKilling movies. Our crew handled everything from building the bounty hunter costume, learning the VFX required to pull off the glowing head, scoring, title cards, sound design, etc. We’re proud of what we pulled off with limited resources and can’t wait to share this with everyone. Turn up the volume and hit HD – We hope you enjoy our fun little take on Critters!
Sacha Feiner did a similar thing a few years ago with his great short movie – taking the cue from the reality break in Gremlins 2 – creating movie segments with Gremlins interference.
Sacha’s work was done as a fan project much like Jordan’s project. Now whether this plan works for Jordan and his crew with regards to getting him a job is anyone’s guess, but one thing is for sure. He has certainly gotten the respect of Critters fans worldwide, and even if nothing comes of it, we will always have this short.
Images: Jordan Downey, New Line Cinema, Warner Bros.
Grizzly Bomb loves to showcase up and coming creators and in this new section called The World of the Homemade we highlight some of the pioneers of the low-budget and hand-crafted world of entertainment and collectables. This week focuses on creator and artist Gabe LaPeer. In 2011 Gabe created a small company called Homemade Horror and since then the project has expanded to an online store on Storenvy and a Facebook Page with exclusive updates and give-away prizes.
Here at Grizzly Bomb we love Horror Movies, both good and bad. Here are a few that are so bad they’re good. Get it? Good.
#10. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)
Prostitutes, chainsaws, and Leatherface… what could be better? In Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre) plays he leader of a cult. Basically, the cult consists of hookers who love to cut up their Johns-turned-Victims with chainsaws. The group is discovered by a detective searching for a runaway, leaving for an interesting story and some fantastically horrible, but very sexy acting.
FUN FACT from Wikipedia:
The film begins with the disclaimer “The chainsaws used in this motion picture are real and dangerous! They are handled here by seasoned professionals. The makers of this motion picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous sex.” The film ends with the promise of the sequel “Student Chainsaw Nurses”, which was never made.
#9. Rabid Grannies (1988)
This movie…is ridiculous. A nice big family out in the country gets together for their two grandmothers’ birthdays to celebrate. One of their grandchildren is a boy who worships the devil. They open his gift, and become cannibals, who need to eat all of their loved ones. This film is mostly ridiculous, but the gore is phenomenal. It was originally released as Les Mémés Cannibales in France. It is absolutely hilarious, and you will never look at your sweet old granny the same.
Fun fact: The DVD version of this movie had too much gore, and a lot of the gross stuff was taken out. The bonus features of the DVD show all of the previously removed content.
#8. The Stuff (1985)
This is one of my favorites on the list. This genius plot would touch any P.M.S.-ing woman’s heart…. an ice cream mogul trying to save the business. In “The Stuff”, a white foamy, creamy substance begins bubbling from the earth. FOR SOME REASON someone sees this substance and thinks… hmm… I’d like to taste that! It tastes so delicious that it becomes addictive, and people go crazy over it. Little do they know, it is parasitic and starts to seep into their brains. The people turn into zombie-like creatures. This plot has deeper holes in it than a Britney Spears love doll…. but it is fantastic just the same.
Fun fact: The scene in the motel where the Stuff comes out of the mattress and pillows and attacks the man on the wall and ceiling was shot in a room that could turn upside down, allowing the Stuff to move up and down the wall. It was exactly the same room used in A Nightmare on Elm Street when Johnny Depp’s character is sucked into his bed and his blood is regurgitated back out onto the ceiling.
#7. Howling 2: Your Sister Is A Werewolf/Howling II: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch (1985)
This movie has been called “breathtakingly awful”, and deservedly so. The Howling II is unfathomabley silly. Karen, the heroine from the first movie of the series, has died and they are now having her funeral. Evidence surfaces that she is a werewolf. Because of this, the character Stefan goes to put a titanium stake through Karen’s dead body. While trying to do this, two other characters Ben and Jenn, along with Stefan are attacked by Werewolves. They go on a quest to find Stirba… the Werewolf bitch… the SEXY werewolf bitch with huge jugs. This is an action-packed waste of a Thursday night if you are looking for a good horror flick. Then again, it is SO bad that it makes it good again.
Fun Fact: The movie is mentioned in the Yo La Tengo song “From a Motel 6” in the line “I climb where I can see – you’re close but I won’t reach. Blank stare at the TV- THE HOWLING II’s on Channel 3 I drift off to sleep, while the snow falls on the screen”.
#6. Critters (1986)
The Plot: “A massive ball of furry creatures from another world eat their way through a small mid-western town followed by intergalactic bounty hunters opposed only by militant townspeople.”
BASICALLY, little demonic Furbys and bounty hunters from outer space make for a movie with some laughs and little to keep me interested. The cow-eating scene was gross. UDDERly disturbing. Get it? I’m funny. LAUGH AT MY JOKES!
Fun Fact: The Critters movie series has a total of four movies. That is correct… THEY MADE SEQUELS, and one of them stars a young Leonardo DiCaprio. :/
#5. Microwave Massacre (1983)
Every guy has probably thought once or twice about shoving your woman in an insanely large microwave…. and eating her legs? This movie is phenomenal. In this movie, Donald plays the husband of May, a snooty woman who tries to be classy and is in fact no better than her bologna-eating neighbors. She buys a comically huge microwave one day to help her prepare her terrible food. After arguing one night, a drunken Donald decided to beat her incessantly with a pepper grinder and push his wife into a microwave. After finding her body in the large appliance the next morning, he is horrified…. but not for long. He decides for some reason to begin eating his wife. He packages her meat and stores it in his fridge. He does the same with her sister, who comes looking for her. He has a heart attack, and his wife’s head is found in his fridge. His friends realize he has been giving them May-sandwiches. I loved this movie. Top notch.
#4. Vampire Hookers (1978)
Orgies, vampire fapping, and vampires who tan. This is seriously amazing. I have never seen such little attention paid to detail. In this movie, John Carradine (Young Frankenstein) is an aged vampire who has a bevy of vampiric beauties who lure many of their customers back to his lair. It was filmed in the 70s, so I was glad that the drawn-out orgy scene didn’t show any 70s mega-bush.
Vampire Hookers was a hilarious movie with a very Scooby-Doo-like comedy to it (FOLLOW THAT CAB!)
#3. Slugs (1988)
The creepy-crawly feeling you get when you see a centipede crossing your bedroom wall… you get that feeling a lot in the movie Slugs.
It is quite ridiculous, but totally worth watching. In this movie, people keep suffering gruesome and unsuspecting deaths.
Mike Brady (Not the dad from the Brady Bunch), a doctor, develops the theory that this is the work of slugs. After being laughed at a whole lot, his theories are proven by the “slug professional”.
#2. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
After his older brother (psycho Santa) gets slayed at the conclusion of the first film, Ricky, psycho Santa’s baby brother, has an ax to grind with the naughty and continues to spread the family brand of holiday fear. He goes through killing innocent townspeople in horrible ways dressed as Santa.
Now, I hadn’t seen the first movie of the series, which ended up being just fine because of all of the flashbacks, they show almost all of it in here.
In fact, the movie ends with a dream sequence, involving scenes shot from the first movie. When you combine the awful acting, the shoddy cinematography, and the eyebrows… this movie is so bad it becomes good again.
Thank you to the big boss man for this suggestion.
#1. S.I.C.K. (Serial Insane Clown Killer) 2003
S.I.C.K. will always be on the top of my hilariously bad yet fantastically great horror flicks. I love this movie for several reasons, not the least of which is the acting. Oh my, the acting. It is very bad, despite how hard they are obviously trying to make it good. The plot: The main character, Brandon, invites some of his work friends and their women to his uncle’s cabin to spend the weekend. When eerie things start happening, like doll heads in the fridge (Dexter?) and finding what looks like a human butcher shop in Brandon’s uncle’s shed, they FOR SOME REASON do not suspect Brandon or his uncle to be doing these things. You’d figure that they would, considering when the power goes out Brandon says “MY UNCLE has a flashlight here” and when they can’t get a hold of anyone he says “MY UNCLE has a CB radio!”… followed by “MY UNCLE has a tool shed”. The “My Uncle” thing becomes sort of a running joke. My little sister Jessica saw this one with me, and we still say that to one another to get a laugh. The group travels out to the woods by the cabin and a killer clown chases them to kill them. You’ll never guess who the killer clown ends up being. It is worth watching ten times over. Everyone should see this spectacularly horrid film.
I hope you enjoyed my compilation of the ten best of the worst horror movies of all time. I realize that there are two different hooker movies in here. Guest writer Tim says that “It is because hookers make for great horror movies because no one cares if they die”. Zing. “And awayyy we go!” (If you watch S.I.C.K. you will get that joke).