#7 – Countdown to Halloween: THE MONSTER SQUAD

This movie is awesome and totally lives up to all the 80’s/90’s stereotypes. First off the main character’s father is definitely a high-ranking official in the town’s police department, its in a super small town where everyone apparently knows everyone, all the kids have access to weapons and metallurgy tools, and there also all kinds of sweet school yard bullying.

The movie was made in 1987 and didn’t seem too popular back then. It centers around a group of junior high school kids who are obsessed with monsters. So clearly this means all they do is hang out in a tree house and talk about monsters.

Obviously Dracula is real and comes to the only town in America where a group of dorks sit around and talk about monsters. It turns out that Van Helsing and his diary kept Dracula from getting a special magic item hundreds of years ago. Now his diary ends up in the hands of ‘The Monster Squad’ in the middle of suburbia. Dracula goes to get it, but decides to bring along some friends like The Wolfman, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Mummy, and Frankenstein’s Monster.

We later learn that not all these “monsters” turn out to be completely evil though. In case you havent guessed it these kids destroy all things evil. They recruit the “tough kid”, a creepy old German guy, and all the virgin girls they can find, to use Van Helsing’s diary and send Dracula into some creepy black vortex. All while using sexual innuendo way beyond their comprehension, illegal explosives, and firearms.

The highlights of this movie is the fact that one of these kids is referred to almost completely as the nick name “fat kid”, we learn the truth that The Wolfman does in fact have “nards”,  that 12-year-old kids can do way more than adults, and that Megan’s law doesn’t apply to creepy old German dudes and horribly unsupervised children.

I give this movie an easy 2.5 bears or pumpkins or what ever because it reminds me of just how awesome movies used to be.

For more of the Countdown – Click it here!


Guest Writer: B. VanGorder

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