#15 – Countdown to Christmas: A CHRISTMAS STORY

In 1983, one of the most iconic and over-played Christmas movies released. It was called “A Christmas Story“.

Some of you may be sick of this film by now because TV has ruined it. Not only do they chop it up, but it plays on loop for 24 straight hours beginning on Christmas Eve every year. I however, still love this movie for so many reasons! In A Christmas Story, Ralphie (Peter Billingsly) is just a geeky kid in glasses who gets picked on sometimes and has an annoying little brother. The plot for this entire movie revolved around what Ralphie wants for Christmas: A Red Ryder BB gun. This does not sound like it would make a good movie, but this film is absolutely hilarious because of the little things.

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#16 – Countdown to Christmas: THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

“Old Henson was dead as a doornail. This must be distinctly understood or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.”

I might have just committed blasphemy in multiple ways with that mixing of the first two sentences from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (1843) and the fact that Jim Henson had passed away before The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) was created. However, I find it only appropriate considering that was the first Muppet movie made after Jim Henson’s death in 1990. It was the first movie in which the infamous Kermit the Frog was voiced by someone other than Jim. A fact that still slows my mind.

It is with this in mind that I recount the Muppets’ version of the classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, a miserly old money-lender with a certain disdain for the Christmas Spirit.

Narrated by the unflappable Gonzo the Great, with the help of Rizzo the Rat, the tale begins in the hub-bub of 19th century London, where, amongst a mixed choir of people and Muppets, we are introduced to old E. Scrooge. This version of Scrooge is played by the living legend Michael Caine.  Caine’s Scrooge is as grumpy and unlikeable as George C. Scott’s 1984 television version, but here you don’t think that Scrooge would do well in North Africa.(Sidenote: George Carlin was at one point considered for the role of Scrooge. That would have been different).

The musical continues with the introduction of the Muppet mainstay, Kermit the Frog. This is the first feature length film in which Jim Henson has not performed the voice of Kermit. Henson is replaced (though there is no replacing him) by Steve Whitmire.  While geeks like me may get caught up in the change, the reality is that the spirit of Jim Henson still flows through the character.

The plot of “A Christmas Carol” stays fairly true to the Dickens’ work, thanks to the addition of Gonzo as the narrator. Brian Henson (Jim’s son), a director, made the decision to use Gonzo as the narrator to pay homage to the brilliance of Dickens’ descriptions and phrasings. The other option, according to the bonus features on the DVD, were to use Gonzo as the Ghost of Christmases yet to come. His nose would have stuck out from the hooded cloak. I’m glad they went with the narrator idea. Good job folks.

While the story is unfolded before us, the audience is given the classic mix of heart-felt family values, silly physical comedy, and witty (and often adult content) dialogue that is expected from the Muppets. Also we are treated to the fact that Michael Caine can’t sing, which is hilarious to me.

I give this movie 4 out of 5.

I leave you with this tid-bit:

‘Robert Marley’ is a character added to the Muppets version along with Jacob Marley. This is to accommodate Statler and Waldorff  (the old guys on the balcony). Robert Marley….Bob Marley. Bob Marley surrounded by ‘wailing’ cash boxes. Oh, I get it.

Muppet Christmas Carol

Troubled History of the Portland Trail Blazers: An Overcast in Portland – When will it end?

This has to be the darkest set of clouds to hover over the city of Portland.  For over 34 years, the Portland Trailblazers have been hit with the worst luck in sports history.  After making the playoffs for the first time in the 1976-77 season with a 49-33 record, the Blazers made a Cinderella run through the playoffs led by center Bill Walton and won the NBA championship.  The following season looked like Portland was well on its way to defend its title as they jumped to a 50-10 start.  However, enter the dark clouds.  What happens next would be the beginning of the worst luck a team could ever have.  Here is a timeline of all the bad luck the Blazers had experienced since their championship run.

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Hero Express: Dark Knight Station – Here Comes the Prologue

Welcome to Dark Knight Station, the Hero Express‘s main stop for all the news on The Dark Knight Rises. We’ll keep you up to date on all the biggest bat-news coming straight from Gotham City.

Mind the gap and avoid the shadows; This stop is the Dark Knight Station for December 11th, 2011.

The Viral Marketing Campaign Revealed – (Splash page)

You probably remember that The Dark Knight really took advantage of the internet as a marketing tool, bringing fans closer to the movie and using their involvement to blend the movie’s world with reality in really creative ways. For fans it was a really surreal thing to be a part of; I remember being handed a Gotham City newspaper in downtown Toronto one day and reading it on the subway ride home. It made me giddy. So I kind of missed it when The Dark Knight Rises seemed to be going with a traditional, if not leak-filled, ad campaign.

But things have been moving along in the past few days, beginning last week with Wired‘s ‘leaked’ image of a CIA bulletin regarding a missing Russian physicist, and then this accompanying transcript between some unidentified militia and an unknown contact:


Following that, a third piece of the bulletin was released via mysterious Twitter account ‘@thefirerises‘:

The latest part of the missive gave fans mention of ‘Operation Early Bird’, sending them to discover the website of the same name. The page listed a series of numbers and a countdown clock, but they left it to the public to figure out what it meant. It didn’t take them long to do just that. When the clock reached zero, a map of North America and Europe popped up and internet users quickly discovered they were able to pinpoint locations for early screenings of the DKR prologue.


All in all, the campaign was much more subdued than the last movie’s massive undertaking, but it did manage to give us…

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Grizzly Review: The Descendants

The saying, “Blood is thicker than water”, is one of my favorite quotes of all time. It’s a statement that I’ve been able to apply to my life more times than I care to count. Sometimes, family is all you’ve got; the single thread holding your entire life together. Many people take their family for granted, but I’ve always felt that it’s when you need them most do they show their true colors. Sometimes they’re your guardian angel, other times they’re you worst enemies, but family needs to stick together, regardless.

Alexander Payne seems to be a master of the art of adaptation. His second film, Election, starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, was based off of a novel of the same name, and received critical acclaim. This marked the beginning of a trend that would follow with Payne’s next three adaptations, About Schmidt, Sideways, and this year’s, The Descendants.

The Descendants stars George Clooney as Matthew King, a lawyer who is given the decision of what to do with an extremely large property that his family has owned since the 1860’s. While this is happening, his wife, Elizabeth (Patricia Hastie), suffers a severe boating accident, putting her into a coma, as well as being forced to go on life support. King is now in charge of the land, his wife’s condition, and his two children, Scottie (Amara Miller) and Alex (Shailene Woodley), one a precocious ten-year-old, the other a seventeen going on thirty year old who’s been in boarding school since the previous Christmas. Along with the family is Sid (Nick Krause), Alex’s closest friend, a somewhat dim-witted but good-hearted kid who is sometimes the only thing keeping everyone from killing one another.

Matt soon finds out that his wife will not be waking up from her coma, and it’s his duty to notify everyone of this, including her father, Scott Thorson (Robert Forster), who’s got a tough exterior, but is more patient and sympathetic than almost any character in the film. The rest of Matt’s family continues to pressure him about the specifics of the deal, and all Matt wants to do is make his decision alone and at peace.

Early in the film, Matt learns that his wife was having an affair with a man named David Speer (Matthew Lillard), a realtor in Hawaii. I’ve always felt that Lillard is an extremely underused and underrated actor, and even though his appearance in The Descendants is merely an extended cameo (if that), he has a presence that, to me, steals the show no matter what he’s doing.

The film itself is brilliant, with the ability to be quite plot heavy and yet play out so effortlessly and with such hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking results, that you can’t help but get attached to the characters. The characters themselves are layered and real; enough to the point where you feel you know them by the end of the film. They’re realistic people with actual problems, and we can sense this and we feel for them. The acting by every actor involved is absolutely brilliant. George Clooney gives another fantastic performance, as does the entire supporting cast.

The Hawaiian setting adds a level of both peace and tension. The film makes it very clear that this place is no permanent vacation spot. I have a friend who was raised in Hawaii, and from what he’s told me, and what I saw in the film, the little Hawaiian nuances are captured perfectly, from the very specific and sometimes subtle dialect, to the mannerisms and common household rules, it’s all quite mesmerizing how they managed to perfect it all.

As I mentioned before, The Descendants is based off of a 2007 novel of the same name. As a fan of the source material, the film adaptation does more than justice to the original novel, by being faithful enough to please fans, but not too faithful to the point where it’s a carbon copy of the novel, therefore singling out viewers who may have not read the novel.

The Descendants is a beautiful and heartbreaking portrait of a dysfunctional family that will give us all something to relate to. As for its R-Rating, yes its themes are heavy, but other than the language, I feel as if The Descendants is akin to a film released earlier this year, Terri; a movie that both kids and adults can relate to, sometimes in different ways, sometimes in the same. Regardless, The Descendants is a must watch for anyone who’s ever breathed in air. It may possibly be the best film of the year, but I can’t speak too soon.

5/5 Bears