‘The Simpsons’ Hit #500 and Other Such Springfield Related Nonsense…

Episode 500 Review: This episode has an epic couch gag mashing up every bit they have ever done.   A fake nuclear war has been cooked up to keep the Simpsons away while the town votes on whether to ban them from Springfield.  In a good amount of self referential fun, the family is displaced to the “Outlands” and gets to meet ultra-cool guest star, Julian Assange.

Recent episodes have contained a good amount of Easter eggs to longtime fans of the show.  The amount of property damages that Bart and Homer’s escapades have cost the town is shown with images from Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken and Brother’s Little Helper (seasons 10 and 11 respectively).  By the way, Sideshow Mel has become a great voice amongst the townspeople.  He’s always hilarious and pithy.

I love Maggie’s Mad Max outfit and Marge’s concerns over her new friends in the Outlands.  “Two babies enter, one baby leaves.”  Marge and Homer have some great scenes breaking back into Springfield and continue to prove themselves as the only reason I have any faith in marriage.

For quite some time, The Simpsons have been lambasted as having fallen off from the heydays of the 90’s.  Many former Simpsons sycophants feel the show is no longer considered amongst the television elites and want Groening and Co. to end its historic run.  Opinions like this could not be more sinful towards Bart, and most who sprout these rants are no longer watching the show.

The Simpsons has developed such a diverse cast of characters and utilizes Springfield as a microcosm of the world in such a way that another 500 episodes should not be viewed as improbable, but rather desirous.  I will concede that the show does not write “touching” episodes as often as it did in its apex.  And it was in those “touching” episodes, where satire and sentiment perfectly fuse, that some of my favorite moments occurred (see Bart Sells His Soul and Mother Simpson, both season 7). But, since the show went HD (in season 20), it has been consistently creative and still delivers on the laughs. I entreat you, do not turn your back on the Church of Bart but return to the flock.

Favorite lines:

“You want I should spray some of my Jerk Off on you.”

“Manning up, manning up.  Ohhhh. Girling down, girling down.”

“You can’t leave society!  Humanity is on an inexorable upward march.  Or, at least was, until the year 2000.”

4 out of 5 bears 

And now for some The Simpsons news…

– “The Simpsons Arcade” has recently been released on Xbox Live Arcade and the Playstation Network.  Remember getting a roll of quarters from your Grandma and spending it all on this machine, instead of buying the toilet paper she sent you out to buy?  1991 style button mashing is at its finest here.  And Marge using a vacuum as her weapon?!  Take that, Gloria Steinem!


– If you’re looking for a more modern Simpsons game, fire up Siri (the world’s foremost electronic whore) and get tapping.  I’m still using a Zach Morris phone, so I’ll have to wait until Obama gives every citizen an iPhone for re-electing him…  [Mac World]

– Two Simpsons fans make world history by viewing the show for 86 hours straight.  To celebrate the shows 524th episode, I plan to eclipse this record by watching for a 100 consecutive hours.  524 being a special number to me, because it is the amount of times I have masturbated to Bart and Lisa sex vids!  They’re out there people, and they’re great!  [Warming Glow]

– Like GIFS?  Sure you do!  That’s what you get for not hailing to the Chimp! [Warming Glow]

–  Matt Groening talking about nihilism in America?  Makes me wish that Nietzsche were alive today to write the sequel to Toqueville’s Democracy In America.  The “rubber-band reality” that Groening mentions is reason number one why the show is still bleeding edge. [LA Times]

– Did you catch the Christmas episode this season?  Holidays of Future Past travels thirty years into the future.  See the family grow up via these family Christmas card shots.  In the episode, Bart is a deadbeat dad, Lisa is married to Millhouse, Homer is sober, and Dearborn, Michigan gets its second overt shout-out on the show.

Favorite line, “Ah. Bloody Harry, he brought back beheading in a big way.”  5 out of 5 bears

– And finally, Every ‘Bart Chalkboard Quote’ compiled in one place!  These along with the couch gags, make The Simpsons the unequivocal champion of episode opens.  Also, the recent couch gags have been veering towards avant-garde.  The Banksy and John Kricfalusi entries being amongst the best couch gags of all time.

Guest Writer: Nick Sissen

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