Many people last week proclaimed Battle of the Bastards the greatest episode Game of Thrones had ever delivered – there is an argument to be made for The Winds of Winter holding that title.
Season Six spoilers to follow – duh.
You’re in the great game now. And the great game is terrifying.
Spoilers Inbound for events taking place between episodes 1.01 and 6.09 – obviously.
If you haven’t watched episode 6.04, there are spoilers to follow – obviously.
Sunday’s premiere of Game of Thrones brought us back from what felt like the longest break from the series to date.
So we’ve had our fun with the last two seasons of the best kills on Game of Thrones. So let’s just get a bit more ridiculous and proceed with another list: The Game of Thrones Top Ten Slaps to the Face List! What’s that you say? Not enough slaps to make up a whole list? I beg to differ Ser! On with the list!
*Spoilers You Fools!*
Oh boy oh boy! It’s hard to believe there are only three episodes left of this season especially as things are really heating up. Actually heating up quite literally in Daenerys’ case. People should know by now that if you mess with the momma, you mess with her dragons. Also a good lesson, never find yourself in a bear pit with Jaime Lannister, especially if you are the bear. All that led to this week’s promo:
Arya, Arya, Arya. It seems like just yesterday she was getting her hair chopped off in an alleyway and here she is with a rock and knowing exactly what to do with it. So proud.
On to the bonus features!
As I was perusing the internet, wondering what fun things to find for this week’s “promo and stuff”, it occurred to me that I had never once searched for Game of Thrones themed items on etsy. Of course this needed to be remedied immediately and oh how happy I am!
People! Have you been spending all this time eating plain ol’ boring cookies? Well no longer do you have to suffer so! For here we have perhaps the greatest piece of plastic ever molded into the likeness of Tyrion Lannister himself. Your cookie dough won’t know what hit ’em.
My husband lost his wedding ring years ago and if I thought he’d wear one again, I’d order these in a heartbeat. Stamped with the “moon of my life” and “my sun and stars” pet names Khal Drogo and Daenerys Targaryen had for each other, these rings are just too cute.
Stop the presses. STOP THE PRESSES! I need this. Of course I’ll go buy the pattern and likely never get around to actually stitching it but how awesome would this be on a pillow? Or go for the gusto and hang it on your wall, front and center so everyone who comes over has to marvel at its wonder.
Speaking of putting something on your wall…
I implore someone to please purchase this, put it on your wall, and then take a picture and send it to me because I need to see the real life application of this beauty. Just imagine how jealous your friends will all be of you and your “wall of Jon Snow”. I see no downsides here so someone please, make this happen.
Well that about does it for me. Make sure you check out this week’s Game of Thrones review with episode seven “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” and I’ll be back next week for a new promo!
So you’ve watched “The Climb” and now are wondering “what is next?!?!?”, well rest easy because we’ve got your episode 7, “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” promo for you right now.
Outside of everything else in that promo, I think we all know that the most important thing is… Daenerys!!! We go a week without her and the withdrawal symptoms are too much. Shaking, crying, wondering how you have wronged the universe and why the universe felt that a week without Khaleesi of the Dothraki is an appropriate punishment. Thankfully, that will all disappear next week with “The Bear and the Maiden Fair”.
In the meantime, let’s amuse ourselves with Game of Thrones re-imagined.
– as aired in the mid-90’s
– as popular 90’s sitcom, Seinfeld
– as an 16 bit RPG
– as the Simpsons opening
I love things like that. Almost as I love Zach Galifianakis in a dragon costume to play ‘Game of Game of Thrones’ on this week’s SNL!
Make sure to check out our review of season 3, episode 6 – “The Climb” and I’ll see you back here next week with a new promo and more Game of Thrones fun from around the internet!
So I may or may not be in full on “Obsessed with Game of Thrones” mode the last few weeks, which has caused me to scour YouTube for anything related to the mythology. This morning I stumbled across a video from comicbookgirl19 who gives a detailed rundown of the Targaryens history, and does so in an entertaining fashion, accompanied by her co-host Robot, who is a huge fan of Khal Drogo.
Daenerys Targaryren, congratulations, you’ve completely endeared yourself to the millions of viewers (yet again) and now have your army, all of your dragons, and the heart of the world. What do you plan to do next? Take the Iron Throne? You betcha! Game of Thrones has kicked it into high gear with special props to one of our favorite characters.
So remember how we all talked in the last few weeks how we’re about to build up into something? Well, we definitely got it and a nice reminder that the Dragon Queen is NEVER to be trifled with. Or even at least called a slut behind her back, regardless of it being in a different language. We definitely got some excitement in Game of Thrones land and we won’t hesitate in trying to explain the awesome sauce that poured from the television, especially the final part. Of course, we have other things to discuss before I bombard you with Dany GIFs so let’s roll to it then.
We can’t forget what happened the end of last week when Jamie Lannister extended his hand to help out Brienne. He ends up wearing it around his neck, despondent that his sword hand is now a vanity item that will clearly trend in all the popular jewelry stores across King’s Landing. He gives it another go to attack his captors with his other hand, but he’s weak and depressed and ends up with horse piss dribbling from his mouth and face buried on the mud. Later at the camp, Brienne rips into him (and rightfully so) because he just wants to die and not eat. She pretty much calls him a woman cause he gives up so easily. She’s clearly trying to motivate him and it works. She then also asks why he bothered to save her, even with the story about her home being a ‘Sapphire Isle’ and it being a lie, and we just get a longing look from Jamie to end the scene. Whether that’s filled with regret because he totally is a southpaw now or that he genuinely wants to help her survive, I guess we’ll have to wait to find out, but damn good work by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, showing that he can play more than a smug incestuous asshole. Dude’s a got layers and he’s showing them off.
We also get to see some King’s Landing stuff with the rest of the Lannisters and we get a fun tidbit from Lord Varys. He loves his revenge and while it may take a while, he definitely doesn’t forget a grudge. Seeing this back and forth between him and Tyrion was fun seeing the distrust and yet the advisement from Varys that if you stick the course, you’ll soon have a sorcerer in a box to deal with as you please. Seriously, first thing that came to my head:
Anyways, Tyrion believes that his sister Cersei is behind his attempted assassination so he’s fishing for information and allies. Meanwhile, Cersei feels she’s losing the grip of controlling her son to the always charming Margaery. Her goodwill to work the system and appeal to the common folk might have been an attempt to put Joffrey into the good graces of his people once again, and of course, he’s totally digging her. Cersei goes to her father to ask for some help with House Tyrell and that Jamie’s return will be guaranteed only to be dismissed with the great line of, “I don’t distrust you because you’re a woman. I distrust you because you’re not as smart as you think”. Thanks dad.
We also see Varys interact with Lady Olenna, which was awesome. She’s vaulting up the charts as a new favorite just because of her bluntness and total disregard to acting like a ‘proper lady’. Anyways, he confronts her with information that Sansa might be sneaking off with Littlefinger in a power grab. She devises a plan to use Margaery to get close to Sansa and throw a wrench into those plans. Margaery visits Sansa while she prays and in the midst of the conversation about boys, slumber parties and pillow fights in their underwear (that’s what girls do when they get together, right?), she proposes that they become besties and never separate, good times and bad. Margaery then drops a bit of a proposal that she marry Loras, her brother, so they could be sisters. More giggling ensues and we’re pretty sure Littlefinger would not approve of his meal ticket going into another direction while he gets to deal with the crazy sister of his crush.
Meanwhile, at Craster’s Keep, a full on mutiny is about to go down. There’s no food, they are at Craster’s where they are demeaned and surrounded by the results of his evilness and disgusting nature. Sam is still trying to cozy up to Gilly and her son but she just doesn’t want to deal with anyone knowing the fate of her baby. However, things inside are about to get nasty. Apparently Craster HATES being called a bastard and the rest of the hungry watch egg him on. The result? Craster bites it and unfortunately, so does the Lord Commander when he tries to restore order in the house. Sam takes this time to get Gilly and her baby and run out before we hear the nice parting message of, “Run fast Piggy!” I bet he misses Jon Snow right about now…
Theon Greyjoy is sneaking about to get back to his other family and we get treated to a great poignant scene where he realizes that he pulled a Gob Bluth and made a huge mistake. Just before he encounters his sister, and before his rescuer says that Theon’s father knew that he was being tortured, we get Theon breaking down. He knows he could never be a Stark but no one else could ever have done the job of being his family other than the Starks. He confesses that he ordered the killing and burning of orphans and he’s paid the Iron Price for Winterfell. He knows he chose incorrectly and he has no choice but to carry that with him.
Courtesy of asmiladycommands.tumblr.com
Unfortunately, he’s carrying that burden into the same torture chamber he just escaped out of. Apparently it was all a ruse and his “rescuer” pins the blame of the murdered chasers on him and that he is where he belongs. Totally cool betrayal scene that catches people off guard, especially after the “confession” of Theon.
We also get to visit with Arya and the Hound as he is about to receive judgement from his actions. The band of travelers is the Brotherhood Without Banners, deserters from all walks of life and loyalty and they now gather in a cave. Their leader is Beric and they worship the Lord of Light. If they sounds familiar, it’s the same thing the Melisandre worships so come to your own conclusions. They are actually looking for the Hound’s brother for murder, but Arya remembers that he did murder a young boy way back in season 1 so he’s going to get a trial by combat. They may not have the right guy but Arya definitely gave them a reason to hold him responsible for vile actions. This is a bit of a short scene but I like that Arya is labeled as the bravest one there. It’s probably true in the group of deserters but he still gets to fight Beric next week so we definitely have that to look forward to. A lot definitely happened this episode but since everyone should be caught up on the comings and goings of the others in Westeros, I can finally get to the scene that everyone is talking about…
You’re most definitely right Dany, a dragon is NOT a slave. We are treated to the best scene of the season and the perfect ending to a wonderful episode. Stuff went down and to bookend it is Daenerys looking as sharp as ever. She is about to claim her slave army in exchange for her dragon. She takes the symbolic whip from the slave master Kraznys and holds it while he clutches the dragon, trying to revel in his new pet. He provides the line of, “The bitch has her army,” and we’re to think that he got what he wants and Dany loses a foothold because of her sacrifice of her dragon and seemingly bad negotiation skills. But guess what, Daenerys has another card up her sleeve. She goes out to her new army and then address them in Valyrian. That’s right boys and girls, she totally knew the language and that this jackass was dogging her the whole time. This is the show’s “Oh snap!” moment. Emilia Clarke steals this show here with the way she takes hold and delivers her dialogue and her actions. For those that didn’t read the books, she played the audience as well as Kraznys.
She takes command and declares that line of her dragon not being a slave. She commands the slave masters killed and all the slaves set free and to leave the children unharmed. Kraznys yells for his guards to kill her but she has other plans. She calls to her dragon Dracarys, which apparently signals to burn that dude alive. Everyone is stunned in the aftermath. Yes, she was always acting too big for her britches and declaring what she wants and she will get everything despite having no resources to get them. But look at her now, standing her ground, playing people like a fiddle, leaving her mark wherever she goes…she is the true Dragon Queen and no one should mess with her. She has the army to back her up and she has freed everyone. She wants them to march in her favor, but only as free men. She wins them over just like she won us over. Annnnnnddd….scene.
This is easily the best episode of the year. Getting text messages from people declaring their love for Daenerys and that something actually went down in the episode shows that everyone else in the world probably loved it too. We got the next preview of the upcoming episode of Game of Thrones in another post so check that out and as always, come back and share some love of Game of Thrones. Also, I love Daenerys Targaryen and she definitely raised her game up and got the season moving at full speed once again.
After a thrilling episode this week, perhaps the best so far, HBO has so graciously given us a little tidbit of what to expect from next week’s episode titled “Kissed By Fire”. I realize that every show does this every week but for whatever reason, with Game of Thrones it seems a wee bit more special. Probably because they leave you on the edge of your seat wanting more not unlike being stranded in the desert and some kind soul offers you a drop of water. Yes, I did liken waiting a week for a new episode to dying of thirst in the Sahara. I have a feeling that GoT fans won’t argue with me.
Enough talking, here’s the promo!
BURN IN HELL!!
Oooohhhh, intrigue. I do have to take the desert thing a bit further because this promo doesn’t do much to alleviate the thirst, just makes us want more.
In the meantime, let’s all join together and laugh at this.
How awesome is that? I might have laughed like a hyena in Lion King (not the Whoopi Goldberg one) when I saw that. Awww, poor Samwell Tarly.
Finally! Daenerys Targaryen is getting her due. Love it. Speaking of Daenerys, if you are a “behind the scenes” fan like myself, then you are sure to enjoy this “Anatomy of a Scene”.
So what are you looking forward to in episode 5? Let us know in the comments!