SNL: 38.3 – Daniel Craig/Muse

Well I’m really glad that the last episode of SNL, hosted by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, was good because this week it was just awful. I don’t know that awful is even strong enough a word for how bad this episode was. Usually I make two lists; one of good sketches, and another of bad sketches. This week there was not even an entire sketch in the good category, just one name. And it certainly wasn’t Daniel Craig’s.

Obviously, the cold open had to do with the debate. It was nice to see Chris Parnell back as the ineffective Jim Lehrer, but man alive this sketch was weak. Jay Pharaoh’s Obama impression is getting better but if the material and sketches don’t improve, I’d rather have Fred Armisen back as Commander-in-Chief. The monologue was just bad. Dear writers; if the phrase “I love this song but don’t know the name, can someone Shazaam it for me?” is what passes as a good joke these days, there is a problem. The catcalling construction workers wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. It was just there and what seems to be a trend this season so far, it didn’t know when to quit. The “Bond Girls” fauxmercial was okay. I did enjoy Diane Keaton and Taran Killam in bed together. There was a moment where I was  wondering how many people out there watching would remember Lea Salonga and then was really confused when they kept going back to her. I’m ashamed to admit I even wondered out loud, “has Lea Salonga even done anything on tv or been in a movie recently?” Well as a matter of fact the last tv/movie thing she did was the 25th Anniversary concert of Les Miserables in 2010. My confusion only increased.

http://youtu.be/ojxN7phOCi8

All that said- I’m an idiot. For it wasn’t Lea Salonga they were talking about at all. Rather it was that chick from Glee, Lea Michele. Once I realized that, those parts of the sketch made a lot more sense. They weren’t any better, but they made sense at least. Another sketch about the debate in which Jason Sudeikis was hysterical as a sleep deprived Chris Matthews.  Keenan Thompson is always fun as Al Sharpton but overall the sketch was a bore.

The happy Republican girl who said nothing but how happy she was this week was amusing in her simplicity. Next up was the pre-recorded “Long Island Medium” sketch and if there was a highlight of the night, this was probably it. That’s saying a lot. Kate McKinnon played the reality tv “star” who makes a living going up to random people and telling them about their loved ones who died. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen the show so I don’t know how spot on it was, but it was funny. Bobby Moynihan as the subject of one of the medium’s not-quite-so-accurate readings was the first time I laughed.

Unfortunately Bobby went from making me laugh to making me unintentionally impersonate my dog when he cocks his head to the side and gives me that “what the hell have you been smoking woman?” look. Seriously, what on earth was up with that space station sketch? It was just awkward and weird and I’m usually a fan of awkward and weird but it was not working for me. At all. It was interesting to hear an entire audience simultaneously let out an “awwww” when Fuzz Aldrin appeared. Thank god there was a cute cat because otherwise that sketch was a goner.

Musical Guest Time! It was Muse and they were good. During the first song though I could not get past the fact the dude was playing an ipad. Seriously.

I don’t know why I was surprised, hell you can damn near perform brain surgery nowadays after watching a few YouTube videos but this guitar/bass/iPad thing he had going was just fascinating to me. If I learned nothing else on Saturday Night it was this- America still loves Big Bird. I mean, who can blame us? Follow That Bird was one of the greatest movies of its time. Put Big Bird on Weekend Update? The tv watching nation will go nuts.

Did you know that Big Bird is on twitter? Well he sort of is, he just tweets through the general Sesame Street account though. Sharing is a big thing on Sesame Street. Did you also know that Grizzly Bomb is on twitter? Of course we are After Weekend Update I’m pretty sure Lorne Michaels spontaneously burst into flames and the entire cast was too distracted by it to actually put forth the effort to make the rest of the show watchable.

“Sorry Lot We Are” was just horrendous. When you are making references to movies that have been dead and gone for quite some time (The Full Monty and the even more obscure, Waking Ned Divinepeople are going to start to think you are phoning it in. Even more aggravating was this was the first time we got to see Aidy Bryant do more than one short line. I had started to wonder if she was even on the show anymore because we’ve seen plenty of Cecily Strong and Tim Robinson but unfortunately not much of Ms. Bryant. If “man in drag awkwardly rubbing themselves against other cast member” hadn’t been done in the last episode, it might have been better received this week. Then again, there is only so much of Fred Armisen’s crotchtal region that I want to see, so maybe not.

Apparently Fred’s crotch was the last straw because after another performance by Muse, it was a repeat of the “Undecided Voters” sketch from last week and that was all she wrote. Thank the angels and saints in heaven above. So all that was in my bad/not good column. The only thing in my good column? Kate McKinnon. She was all over this episode and even though it looked as if Vanessa McBrayer was being groomed as the next Kristin Wiig, Ms. McKinnon seems ready for that role. Despite the entire episode sucking as a whole, she had some bright moments. I’m looking forward to see her performances as the season goes on.

To sum up: episode was bad, Daniel Craig is pretty but should stay away from sketch comedy, Big Bird is a fan favorite, and I’m trying to forget this show happened and just look forward to October 13th when Christina Applegate hosts with musical guest Passion Pit.

Countdown to Halloween #25: The Tall Man

The Tall Man is one of those characters in the rogues gallery of horror icons who is painfully underrated in comparison to his slasher film brethren. More of the fanfare goes to the Freddy Kruegers and Jason Voorhees’, but The Tall Man stands out from the others, literally and figuratively. While not as immediately visually arresting as any of the more dominant horror franchise characters, The Tall Man’s subtle distinction of being a lanky, tall (duh), creepy looking man in a suit is still unique in all of horror. One could even say his look is partially the inspiration behind the internet phenomenon of Slenderman, whose name and look is very reminiscent of The Tall Man.

Continue reading Countdown to Halloween #25: The Tall Man

Grizzly Review: Taken 2

Taken 2 is exactly what one should expect. It’s a simple action movie that defies logic and reasoning, but shows the gravitas of newly minted action star Liam Neeson as he dominates the screen with scowls and promises to take out anyone that crosses him or his family. This would be a great and fun movie – if we hadn’t seen it four years ago. Now it just comes off like another episode to an action television show and we’re just wondering what shenanigans the Mills family can get out of this time.

It’s now two years after the events of the first movie, where Bryan Mills (Neeson) is making efforts to be more involved in his daughter Kim’s life (Maggie Grace). His ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen) has separated from her previous husband and ever the observant one, Mills offers them a trip to Istanbul, Turkey to get their minds off of things and bond as a family.

However, there are some pissed off people in Eastern Europe that want some revenge, led by Murad (the always stereotyped Eastern European baddie Rade Serbedzija). You see kids, his son was the one that was electrocuted at the hands of Mills in the last movie and Murad thought that was a bit of a dick move. So he comes up with the plan: you take my family, I’m going go after yours. Obviously, if your son is selling sex slaves and kidnapping daughters, it’s really a circle of going after people’s families. It’s the vicious cycle people!

Let’s start with the positives. Liam Neeson is a badass. He always brings a dimension of depth to his projects where he can harness his scowling and anger and make it seem like he’s always on a mission. It could be saving his daughter, teaching her to parallel park, or buying a gallon of milk – believe me, he’s going to do it and kick ass while finishing the task. He could have easily of collected his paycheck on this movie, but knowing the movie centers on his emotion (or lack of), he carries the movie on his back in order to keep us interested in what’s happening next. Unfortunately, the film’s script and action betray him throughout this 90 minute mess.

The rest of the cast is serviceable, but it doesn’t allow anyone to shine outside of what the one-note characters are in the script. I will say that Maggie Grace is better in this movie than the last. I only say that because she’s my age, and in the last one, she played it way too young and it was distracting. Granted, she’s taking a driving test (which I guess comes in handy later) in the beginning of this movie, but at least she doesn’t make it too cute and is more subtle in her delivery. Janssen is fine but again, the character does not allow her for much to work with other than be frightened and bleed. This is supposed to just be a fast action movie dammit, we ain’t got time to bleed!

Here’s the main problem with the movie: it’s boring and outdated. The action is shot with a Bourne-like style of shaky cam, but the cuts are too frequent where we don’t even see the action and choreography. It’s the same exact story too, only it defies even more logic than the previous one. At least the last one was a slow burn into the conclusion. This is just plain action sequences on the screen, get from point A to point B. The timeline is so quick that instead of getting the feeling of non-stop action, you end up questioning why this is happening at all. Kim is instructed by Bryan to find him using grenades to track distance and rescue him. Why would a father who stopped at nothing to keep his daughter safe, and a few years later after that traumatic event, go ahead and tell his daughter to put her own life into danger by going straight into the fray?

The appeal of the last movie was a father who would stop at nothing to keep his baby girl safe, and this just flies in the face of that. Again, I’m normally not one to use logic in trying to enjoy an action movie but if it’s the overriding ideal of the movie franchise, to ignore it just shows this movie isn’t meant to provide the same intrinsic impact the previous film had on the audience.

At the end of the movie, there were people clapping when the credits stopped rolling. I said out loud to anyone that could hear me to stop clapping. The movie doesn’t deserve the applause for the laziness that was just shown. I kept waiting for something to carry the same spark the last movie had, but it never happened. Most of all, it just wasn’t fun at all. I honestly felt I was watching a mediocre CBS weekly show where we find out what shenanigans the Mills family got into this week. I wonder what illogical mess they will get into the next movie…

1.5/5 Grizzlies

Hero Express: Iron Man 3 Armors, Mark Millar Joins Fox, & Ben Affleck Still Says No To Justice League!

Welcome back to the Hero Express, your one-stop sometimes SPOILER filled shop through the top five stories in comic based Film & TV news!

Iron Man 3 Shows Mark VIII On Set In Miami

Robert Downey Jr. may have injured his ankle during shooting, but Shane Blacks Iron Man 3 is still pushing ahead. Not sure if Robert is back at shooting but his new suit certainly is. The new Mark VIII suit made its debut at this year’s Comic-Con and was met with mixed opinions. I wasn’t a fan originally but it has grown on me a bit since then and I would like to see this suit in action. Where’s the trailer at already, Marvel?

The blue suit to right is apparently not the Iron Patriot like we originally thought but instead is allegedly going to be Rhodey’s new War Machine armor. We mainly think this because of the clear US Air Force insignia stamped on the side of the new armor. I do not like the fact that the War Machine armor is almost exactly the same in appearance to the Iron Man suit! I think it will get confusing in a fast fight scene with them flying through the skies with explosions left, right, and center.

Images via [Collider]

Mark Millar To Take Control Over Fox’s Marvel Films

What a prestigious role to play with such a well-respected film company. Congratulations Mark. Oh by the way I am clapping slowly. Not shocking that Fox decided to do this since Marvel made billions on The Avengers and then got director Joss Whedon to helm their Marvel Cinematic Universe for Phase Two.  So Fox wants their remaining Marvel properties to work a little more coherently under the watchful eye of Mr Millar. Nothing wrong with that, though I’d prefer if they would just give them back to Marvel. That’s clearly not going to happen so they might as well try and make them good.

Mark Millar has a rich history with comics and to be honest he is a smart choice to oversee Fox’s comic films. His most noticeable works are The Authority, The Ultimates, Marvel Knights Spider-Man, Ultimate Fantastic Four, Civil War, Wanted, and Kick-Ass. In August 2007, he also won the Stan Lee award at Wizardworld in Chicago. He has the right background and so we will have to just wait and see what impact his involvement in the next Fox films will be. Fingers crossed its good.

These are Mark Millar’s words on taking the job:

“I really like the Fox team, love this bold new direction they have for their franchises and am proud to be working alongside some of modern cinema’s biggest talents. James Mangold is incredible, Matthew Vaughn’s one of my closest pals, and Josh Trank gave us, in my opinion, one of the greatest superhero movies of the last decade with Chronicle. The invitation to join this crew was maybe the coolest phone call I’ve ever had,” Millar said with characteristic understatement in a statement accompanying the announcement. Describing his new role as a “dream gig,” he continued, “I spent 10 years working at Marvel and am really happy with the work I did on the comic side of things, so the idea of working with these characters now in a brand new medium is enormously exciting for me.”

Interview via [Comic Alliance]

Ben Affleck Still Says No To Directing A Justice League Film

Talking to MTV, Ben Affleck has explained that he doesn’t want to direct any Justice League movie and he doesn’t understand where the rumors started. He never suggested to anyone he wanted the part or that he was approached for the directing role by Warner Bros. So in his defense the theory kind of came out of nowhere and I find it funny that he has to explain that point from now on.

These are his words about the suggested directing role:

“What happens is that there’s a lot of bloggers and Internet interest around superhero movies, so there’s regularly a rumor that comes up, obviously [with regard to] ‘Justice League’ once ‘Avengers’ happened they think, ‘Well it would be crazy not to make “Justice League,”‘ and I’m sure they will. I guess I should be flattered, and I’m sure it will be cool. I’ve seen some of the stuff from the new Superman movie and that stuff is awesome. I think they took a really cool, real approach to Superman, which no one has done before, so if that trend continues I’m sure ‘Justice League’ will be great.”

The reason that he won’t be involved, he says, is that he finds that he doesn’t really care to work on superhero movies at the moment, thanks to his experience with Fox’s Daredevil in 2003. But that he may work on a superheroes film in the future:

“I had a negative experience with the one comic book I liked, it was just a movie that didn’t work… It’s such a shame because first of all ‘Daredevil’ [is] a great book, great idea and then right after that they figured out that it was better to make the movies good and then they started making them cool and investing in them. I felt like I was in the 1930s with that outfit, the trousers: ‘Hey chum, hold up there! This fella’s trying to rob a bank!’ It was a drag but I did love it as a kid and they’re rebooting it.”

News via [Comics Alliance]

Captain America Looking for a Female Lead

Captain America is going into production early next year, but they still haven’t picked a female lead. The new lead is going to be a romantic interest to Steve Rogers, and although fans may know that Sharon Carter would be a safe bet as she is the niece of Steve Rogers Wartime love Peggy Carter. The real question though is who will play the role of the Captain’s new love interest.

The short list so far appears to include Jessica Brown Findlay (Downton Abbey), Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones), Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four), Imogen Poots (Fright Night) and Alison Brie (Community). They do appear to have got a mixed group of women for the role which makes for endless speculation. I think with Alison Brie having already worked with the directors of this film that she has a strong chance of getting the role, not to mention the draw she would bring from the loyal fans of Community (Yeah, she’s HOT!). But that’s just my theory as the casting could go to any of these ladies, to be honest they have all done some very interesting work and I am sure they would do a great job.

Why wouldn’t we put this picture up?

News via [Coming Soon]

Patrick Stewart Possibly Returning to X-Men

Rumors of a fourth X-Men film have been floating around the nerd vine for a while after X-Men: The Last Stand nearly destroyed the franchise. What a terrible film. The separate X-Men films First Class and Wolverine put us more at doubt that a fourth film would get made, but that they would continue the other independent X-Men stories. Well it might be more likely to happen now that Patrick Stewart teased us with a reply to a fan at the Montreal Comic Con this year.

SuperHeroHype reports:

At the 2012 Montreal Comic Convention, he was asked by a fan about returning to the series and he replied “I think there is every possibility” and then began to say the names of his female co-stars “Halle Berry! Famke Janssen! Rebecca Stamos! Anna Paquin!” Stewart then said, “yes, I’ll be reprising…”

Yes, he could just be messing with us. Yes, he might just be saying that he’d like to be in an X-Men film again. But with the sequel to First Class titled X-Men: Days of Future Past there might be a chance for him to reprise his role as present Professor and play along side his younger counterpart, which I would love to see and is perfectly possible in the time travel story line of Days of Future Past.

That’s it for this week!

Elementary: 1.02 – “While You Were Sleeping”

Last week we all had the great pleasure of watching an editor squirm as one of his writers did something he found to be quite abhorrent. I fear I might draw the ire of the esteemed Dr. Kronner once again because dare I say it? I enjoyed this week’s episode as well. [Dr. Kronner – I did not.]

However I did not like the title of the episode because “While You Were Sleeping” will always and forever make me think of this, not of a crime procedural.

(in case you don’t remember the  mid-90’s, this is from the Sandra Bullock movie, While You Were Sleeping)

I felt there was so much to enjoy in this episode. It started off with a new title sequence which reminded me of yet another thing from years gone by, the game Mousetrap. While watching though, I had to wonder- is it possible to shoot a marble out of a gun?

Of course I turned to the internet and discovered that it is a common practice for people (delinquents?) to shoot marbles out of paintball guns. Because apparently those paintballs don’t hurt enough.

Moving on- the episode provided a moment of pure Sherlock Holmes canon with the “brain attic” thing, but of course Watson pointed out that it was completely ridiculous, and the entire world agreed with her. Come on Sherlock, let the attic thing go. Another thing I really did not like was a classic procedural move, the “repeat for the dumb audience because they can’t remember what happened five minutes ago”. Sherlock asks that the victim’s neighbor sit with a sketch artist, a scene or two later (if even that many) he meets up with the detective who says “we’ve got the sketch”. Of course he responds with “oh the sketch from the description of the lady the neighbor gave?” I don’t know if they are trying to suggest that the character Sherlock would say that, but it just gets under my skin. Dear writers; we aren’t stupid.

We met the new detective, Detective Bell, who I thought at first (I hadn’t put my glasses on yet) was the same guy as Detective Frost over on Rizolli and Isles, but alas, it was not. Rather it is Jon Michael Hill who has been most recently seen on the always funny, Eastbound & Down. Also new to this episode was Watson’s old boyfriend, Ty Morstan, played by Bill Heck.

Best part, for me at least, was the back and forth between Sherlock and Watson. She says there is coffee, he holds out his cup fully expecting to get a refill, and she gives him the perfect “eat shit and die” look. Fabulous. When she threatened to stab him in the “soft part of the thigh”, hearkening back to Sherlock’s method of verifying a coma state, I couldn’t help but laugh. There is a very good chance I relate to her so well because I’m married to a man who can be equally ass-ish at times so I recognize the coping skills. 

Sherlock’s one-liners were the highlight though: the zipper-mask, the two cheeks- one leathery, the other smooth as a baby’s bottom, telling Holmes that she should sleep with the ex-boyfriend, “Ampersand, not a dash”; they all combined to make for an enjoyable hour of TV.

Playing the world’s smallest violin as opposed to going into a trance- it’s impossible to not laugh at that.

If you are like me, you enjoy knowing what songs are played during an episode. If you are also like me, you googled lyrics from the last song (not the one played by Sherlock) and ended up here. Let’s just hope that my husband doesn’t go perusing my search results, he might start to get a little nervous. If anyone can tell me what the song was, I would be grateful.

As for the piece that Sherlock played at the very end- that was none other than Bach’s Partita no. 2 in D minor. All those readers who took a music history course would remember that this was the piece rumored to be written in memory of Bach’s late wife, Maria. Was the selection purposeful? Did it tie into the “penance” theme running through the duo’s storyline?

We’ll just have to turn in to the third episode, airing two weeks from now, on October 18th, to find out.

Funny, witty, and one of the greatest violin solos of all time- I’m going to have to give it a three and a half out of five.

In closing- my love, Aidan Quinn flashing his badge, oh baby.

Countdown to Halloween #26: Damien Thorn

In a genre that benefits from creepy kids doing creepy things, none of them compare to Damien Thorn, the literal son of the Dark Lord himself. Portrayed four times by four different people in four different movies, Damien’s never gotten the cinematic treatment he deserved. The one true great Damien is the original Damien,  starring in the 1976 film The Omen directed by Richard Donner, who went on to direct a film about the purest soul in Earth’s existence (gotta savor that irony, no?).

Continue reading Countdown to Halloween #26: Damien Thorn