Category Archives: MOVIES

Movie News & Opinions

Machete Kills: Starring ‘President Charlie Sheen’

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So it’d seem that Charlie Sheen has temporarily gained enough wherewithal to admit he was pretty goddamn insane all of last year, and along with landing a new gig as the lead in FX’s Anger Management, has also gotten a role in Robert Rodriguez’s sequel to Machete.

And what a great president he’d be!

The basic outline of the plot for the sequel is pretty out there. It involves Machete being hired out by the US to find a bad arms dealer guy who plans to launch a weapon into space. Because Robert Rodriguez is an insane person, he’s decided to throw space weapons in a movie about a guy who uses knives as his primary weapon of choice. I know, I know, machetes aren’t knives, but bear with me.

So while the original Machete was over the top example of faux-grindhouse, this looks to up the ante in ways that’ll make the original probably seem downright subtle. In those terms, I think Charlie Sheen is a great casting choice. Who else but Charlie Sheen would give a presidential decree to hire out an insane knife wielding ex-cop Mexican for international arms espionage? Combine that with the returning cast of Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, (Not a Lohan in sight, thank christ), and I think you’ve got the potential for a pretty great sequel here.

Now as long as Rodriguez is making real movies out of fake trailers, let’s get Werewolf Women Of The SS made already huh? Nicolas Cage as Fu-Manchu? BOX OFFICE DYNAMITE!

 [Pics from Jessica Alba’s Twitter via Collider via Film Drunk. Boom.]


 

Movie News & Opinions

A ‘Maniac Cop’ Prequel! Nicolas Winding Refn Involved, Hopefully Directing?

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For the fans of shlock and crappy horror movies all around, there is no bigger name in the biz than Bruce Campbell. To them the man is a veritable living god, but even hardcore Bruce Campbell fans would have a hard time placing Maniac Cop as one of his better films in his oeuvre. But in it’s own right, Maniac Cop, and it’s two sequels, are all very successful at what they set out to be. All of them are fun, sometimes gory, always entertaining films about a cop, who is also a maniac. Or a zombie. Or half-dead braindead guy who was revived and somehow gained super strength from that. I have a hard time remembering, because I’ve never watched the film sober.

With a tagline like that, could YOU watch it sober? Didn’t think so.

Anyhow, the movie is one of those films that is undeniably cheesy, yet so memorable and enduring, that it manages to retain an audience years after its release. Which leads us to the headline news itself. While initially I thought Nicolas Winding Refn was remaking it, it turns out to be he’s producing a tentative prequel. Which I find a puzzling choice, since we had the identity and origin of the Maniac Cop explained in the original. Now nothing is definitely confirmed, nor is his actual status as director locked in yet,  but the likelihood of him deciding to helm it as director is not out of line. Truth be told, I’m hoping he comes around to the idea of just remaking it, since it’s one of the few films I can name off the top of my head, that would  really suit to being remade.  (The other is Logans Run. Holy crap that would be awesome.)

Nicolas Winding Refn is certainly a very talented director, who since his Pusher trilogy, seems to be finding a niche by very successfully imitating other famous director’s stylistic storytelling, cinematography, and aesthetic design. Valhalla Rising was a modern Ingmar Bergman film to its core, Bronson was a Kubrickian attempt at a bio-pic, and last year’s Drive was a breakout Michael Mann-esque, 80’s action movie through an urban noir filter. If there was anybody who could take a source material as cheesy and borderline laughable as Maniac Cop, and make it GOLD, it’d be Refn. He’s one of the few people to make Los Angeles look new again as he did in Drive, and I’d be very interested to see his take on giving new life to the streets of New York. Factor in the fact that he could pull off the whole mystery subplot of the original Maniac Cop much more competently, and in Drive and Valhalla Rising he effectively pulled off visceral scenes of gore, he’d be pretty much the perfect guy to remake it, and have it actually be really good.

Even if it does turn out to still be a prequel, it’ll at least be interesting to tackle the same ideas the original came from, and have it expand the depth of the franchise, even if it’ll be wildly different in quality from the other three. In a good way, I mean.

http://youtu.be/KBD2_4cj7Io

Movie Trailers

‘Taken 2’ International Trailer – First his daughter, now his wife!

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Well we have a treat for you today. Taken 2 finally has a trailer and it is looking just as good as the first film. This international trailer is fantastic and I cannot wait until its October 5, 2012 release. Please enjoy.

Stop taking members of his family! It will be his mum in Taken 3, although I would watch anything with Liam Neeson in. So what we are getting from this trailer is that taken 2 is going to be business as usual, with great action scenes and on the phone warnings to his daughter/ threats to the kidnappers (to become endless meme’s).

Taken 3?

Plot

Liam Neeson returns as Bryan Mills, a retired CIA operative who decimated an Albanian slave-trading ring to rescue his kidnapped daughter. A year later, on a trip to Istanbul, Mills gets a surprise visit from his daughter, Kim, and his wife, Lenore. The happy reunion turns sour when Lenore is taken by gangsters serving Murad, father of one of the fallen Albanian criminals. With his wife held hostage and Kim on the run, Mills must once again use his lethal skills to track down his wife and eliminate all who stand in his way.

We also have some great still photos to check out below.

So finally, what’s the verdict? Do you love the trailer? Can you not wait for Taken 2? Or is the idea of a second ruin the first? That last one is stupid because everyone loves the idea of Taken 2.

MOVIES

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter – 2 AM Text Review

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My buddy Aaron is a bartender for a certain movie theater here in Michigan, and on occasion, the theater will have advanced screenings for movies the Wednesday night prior to the film’s release. Well early this morning I got a few texts from my good friend about his thoughts on President Lincoln’s Vampire Slaying skills.

Aaron Stallings: Kronner, I’m texting you at 2am with no regard if you’re sleep or not to tell you that I want to have sex with this movie. It was f***ing sweet! Reminds me of zombieland.  – 1:58 AM

Aaron Stallings: Fast pace, kinda crazy, great effects, creepy characters, smooth villains… oh, and Abe Lincoln freeing my people. – 2:01 AM

Aaron Stallings: Oh, and 1 boob, but there’s was a little blood on it soooo… If that’s you’re kinda thing…  – 2:02 AM

He also informed me that he viewed the film with projection team, who are, as he put it, “Movie buffs. Like you”, and that they too seemed to share his excitement for the feature.   

I don’t know about you, but based on that review…I’m in.

Movie Trailers

‘Dredd’ Full Trailer – “I’m The Law”

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Wanted a trailer? “Well you got one now”.

Finally, Thanks to Lionsgate we get a full trailer of Dredd and it looks absolutely action packed. If you don’t want to buy a Dredd ticket after this trailer your mad and must be judged. Now as I promised yesterday the full Dredd Trailer, so please enjoy.

Update Official full HD

What did you think of the full trailer? Well I think it is action packed greatness, because we get a full trailer with more than 2 minutes, so plenty more than the preview. Now in just 10 seconds you can’t really get much of a feel, but with this trailer we know what’s going to be happening in the actual film. So what do we know from this trailer, well first off its most likely to be set mainly around that group of flats,  guns and more guns and plenty of cheesy lines being delivered in batman voice. But it wouldn’t be Dredd without them though.

Urban manages to provide Judge Dredd’s trademark characteristics with much better style than Stallone (thank god), and also delivers the signature line “I am the law” in a very cool non obvious way “Ma-ma isnt the law, I’m the law”. Not sure about Olivia Thirlby, but she seems to be able to kick some bad guy ass so we will have to wait and see.

Whilst where on the subject, Here’s some vehicle pics.

So finally what your thoughts? Do you think it looks great? Can you not wait until the 21st September? Or are you still not impressed? Please comment below.

Movie Trailers

Pixar’s Monsters University: Four New Teaser Trailers!

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While we’re on the subject of prequels (because, really, when are we not, America?), Disney and Pixar have released teaser trailers from their latest love child, Monsters University which will hit theaters next summer.  The film is a prequel to Monsters, Inc., released in 2001 and will depict our favorite monsters as college students before they ever hit the scare floor; and will take us through the story of how Mike and Sulley met and how they became friends from rivals.  The four new teaser trailers were released by Disney, Apple, Yahoo, and the Huffington Post; and on first viewing appear to be all exactly the same.  However, when Sulley pulls the sheet off of the bed and reveals Mike, each trailer has a line Mike utters in his sleep that is unique unto itself.  (I kind of hope they use “My pony made the Dean’s List…haha.”)

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