Machete is back and according to the title, this time he kills (which is pretty much what he did in the first movie, but who am I to judge the film’s title). The first Machete film was a fun enough little romp through mexiploitation, with Machete getting framed for murder. Danny Trejo was however not the star in this film and he played the strong, semi silent type while the rest of the cast chewed up the scenery around him. Maybe now with Machete Kills it’s time for Danny to be let loose on the screen with wall to wall machete action. Here is the plot layout and again it seems a great and can we go so far as to say very cheesy OTT story that only Machete can sort out.
In 2005, two movies came out that forced me to the theater several times – and neither of them took place in a ‘galaxy far far away’. They were of course Batman Begins, which I saw four times and further solidified my love for Gary Oldman, and Sin City, which I attended three days in a row opening weekend.
As soon as the movie started with Josh Hartnett’s voice-over, I loved everything about it. From the visuals, the way Marv flung people through windows, to Brittany Murphy’s 1940s style delivery and Jessica Alba as a stripper; it was entirely amazing. Rumors about a sequel started almost immediately after that and it seemed like we were in for a whole franchise. Flash forward seven years and things are just now moving forward and out of the rumor stage.
Robert Rodriguez is currently in the middle of making Machete Kills, the sequel to Machete – starring Danny Trejo as the machete wielding Machete (…aaah! Too many machetes!).
It will also see the acting debut of Lady Gaga. Both she and Rodriguez are excited by this, if their tweets are anything to go by (as reported by The Hollywood Reporter). So here is her character poster, as ‘La Chameleon’ (image via I Watch Stuff).
It’s subtle and understated for her. Only the one dead animal wrapped around her.
Machete Kills is the second in a planned trilogy – and, technically, a spin-off from the Spy Kids films. It picks up from the first film with the title character mourning his lost love – so says the films website – then he is recruited by the US president to take down a cartel leader before he fires a missile at America.
It will star – along side Trejo – Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Zoe Saldana, Vanessa Hudgens, Sofia Vergara, Mel Gibson (as the cartel leader), Charlie Sheen (as the US president) and Alexa Vega as Killjoy.
Vega was, of course, in the Spy Kids movies (the first of which was 11 years ago). And now here she is – all grown up – in costume for this new movie. The picture was posted to Instagram and Twitter, and is now all over the internet (image via Starburst).
I’ve posted this at the end because, quite frankly, I knew nothing else I wrote would be read otherwise. You’re not even reading this are you? And who can blame you. Look boobs.
So it’d seem that Charlie Sheen has temporarily gained enough wherewithal to admit he was pretty goddamn insane all of last year, and along with landing a new gig as the lead in FX’s Anger Management, has also gotten a role in Robert Rodriguez’s sequel to Machete.
The basic outline of the plot for the sequel is pretty out there. It involves Machete being hired out by the US to find a bad arms dealer guy who plans to launch a weapon into space. Because Robert Rodriguez is an insane person, he’s decided to throw space weapons in a movie about a guy who uses knives as his primary weapon of choice. I know, I know, machetes aren’t knives, but bear with me.
So while the original Machete was over the top example of faux-grindhouse, this looks to up the ante in ways that’ll make the original probably seem downright subtle. In those terms, I think Charlie Sheen is a great casting choice. Who else but Charlie Sheen would give a presidential decree to hire out an insane knife wielding ex-cop Mexican for international arms espionage? Combine that with the returning cast of Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, (Not a Lohan in sight, thank christ), and I think you’ve got the potential for a pretty great sequel here.
Now as long as Rodriguez is making real movies out of fake trailers, let’s get Werewolf Women Of The SS made already huh? Nicolas Cage as Fu-Manchu? BOX OFFICE DYNAMITE!
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