What could possibly be funnier then a movie staring Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, and Richard Ayoade? It’s probably one of the funnier group of comedic actors that Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg (writers along with Jared Stern) could come up with in Hollywood today. This, as one would think, had the potential to be a “dream team” to have in a comedy. Maybe it would have worked if it was just a comedy. However, the sci-fi element seems to be too much to balance with and it makes the poor decisions throughout the movie and results in The Watch being an epic fail of a sci-fi comedy.
It’s time for my favorite part of the year. What time is that you might ask? Well, it’s the time of year when we get the previews for all the summer and fall movies coming out for the year. But why do you get excited just for summer and fall movies, you might ask? Well, simply put, they’re just better. Summer films are meant to entertain, while the fall fare is all Oscar bait and leftover blockbusters that didn’t make the cut so you’re either getting A-grade quality or C-grade cheesiness, both of which are very enjoyable.
In this edition of Trailer Roundup, trailers for what might win Best Picture at the Oscars or Worst Picture at the Razzies will share the stage to be consumed for your film-going pleasures.
Formerly known as Neighborhood Watch, the film has gone through some major marketing changes due to some recent current events. The film follows an ‘urbanite’ who moves to a new community and joins the Neighborhood Watch, who soon find out that they are in the midst of an alien invasion. It looked hilarious back before the marketing switch, and it looks even better now that they are focusing on the aliens. – SupaScoot
Stars: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, Billy Crudup, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, and R. Lee Ermey
Release Date: July 27, 2012
In this R-rated gorefest from unknown director Kimble Rendall, Bait 3D follows a group of tsunami survivors who are trapped in a supermarket. And not because of the water. No, there’s a 12-foot killer shark lurking in the surrounding waters, and the only chance of survival they have is waiting for the water levels to die down. Does this sound stupid? Yes. Is the trailer stupid? Yes. But is it going to be a shark-filled, gore-filled, dead-person-filled, cheesy-dialouge-filled piece of awesome shit? Absolutely.
Stars: Phoebe Tonkin, Alex Russell, Xavier Samuel, Julian McMahon, Sharni Vinson, Cariba Heine, and Lincoln Lewis
Release Date: September 6th, 2012
I think we can all agree that Ben Affleck is a better director than he is an actor. So his newest film, which he directed I might add, looks pretty great. I love movies about movies, and that’s what Argo is… kind of. According to IMDb: As the Iranian revolution reaches a boiling point, a CIA ‘exfiltration’ specialist concocts a risky plan to free six Americans who have found shelter at the home of the Canadian ambassador. That risky plan you might ask? Make a fake movie. Argo looks to be the most entertaining war story of the year.
Stars: Ben Affleck, Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Michael Parks, Chris Messina, Victor Garber, Bryan Cranston, Kyle Chandler, Taylor Schilling, Michael Cassidy, and Clea DuVall
Release Date: October 12th, 2012
It seems like we’ve just got the preview for this year’s biggest stinker. Produced by Sam Raimi of all people, The Possession follows a little girl who purchases a mysterious antique box at a local garage sale. Unbeknownst to her, the box is home to a malevolent spirit that possess her body, and it’s up to her parents to stop it. The problem isn’t that it looks poorly made, it just looks so derivative. It’s even “Based on a True Story”. I can’t wait until the day Hollywood runs out of true stories to tell.
Stars: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kyra Sedgwick, Madison Davenport, Natasha Calis, Grant Snow, Agam Darshi, Quinn Lord, and (not even joking around here) Matisyahu
Release Date: August 31st, 2012
Alright, everyone. This is where shit gets serious. Matthew McConaghuey in an NC-17 movie directed by William Friedkin based on a play by Tracy Letts? Count me the hell in. Oh yeah, and the movie co-stars Emile Hirsch and Juno Temple, two of the best young actors working in Hollywood. After accumulating a hefty debt, a young man hires a hit man to kill his evil mother who has a $50,000 life insurance plan on her. Thing is, the hit man is a maniacal wacko who instead accepts the boy’s sister’s hand in marriage instead of monetary payment. Things get a little crazy, apparently.
Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Juno Temple, Gina Gershon, and Thomas Haden Church
Release Date: June 29th, 2o12
In Fat Kid Rules The World, Troy is a morbidly obese and depressed teenager who, after attempting suicide, is saved by street performer and teenage drug addict Marcus. The two form a bond and start a punk band together, bringing Troy both confidence and fame as he realizes his impact on the world. But when Marcus’ drug addiction becomes a problem, it’s up to Troy to help him live to see another day. From the trailer, it seems like this will be a great quirky coming-of-age film that will appeal to all demographics.
Stars: Jacob Wysocki, Matt O’Leary, Billy Campbell, Sean Donovan, Jeffrey Doornbos, Vivan Dugre, Julian Gavilanes, Russell Hodgkinson, and Matthew Lillard
Release Date: TBD
Stephenie Meyer adaptations have a reputation for being… complete and total shit. Much like the adaptations of Nicholas Sparks, moviegoers appreciate none-too-much the sappiness and artificial fluff that comes with a love triangle between a human and a vampire and a werewolf. So, it’s rather surprising that the teaser trailer for Meyers’ most recent adaptation, The Host, looks halfway not shitty. Starring Saoirse Ronan, the film is about a dystopian future where there is no crime, no hate, and no conflict because of a parasitic alien soul that invades peoples’ bodies… I think.
Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, William Hurt, Frances Fisher, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Chandler Canterbury, and Scott Lawrence
Release Date: March 29th, 2013
Michel Gondry understands the human condition better than a psychologist, so it’s fitting that he would make a film about a bunch of seniors during their last bus ride home from school. The premise is fascinating and seems to me like a film that would be adapted into a play or vice versa. From the trailer, it seems like the portrayal of these kids is extremely accurate, and I’m quite excited to see how their different personalities play against one another in a film that takes place in such a confined space.
Stars: Meghan Murphy, Alex Barrios, Brandon Diaz, Joe Mele, Lady Chen Carrasco, Patricia Jade Persaud, Jonathan Scott Worrell, and Raymond Rios
Release Date: TBD
This trailer for the Sundance Film Festival favorite looks to be equal parts The Tree of Life and Where the Wild Things Are, except possibly even more magical than those two combined. The story follows a six-year-old named Hushpuppy who goes in search of her mother after learning of her father’s deteriorating health. Along the way, she meets a fascinating cast of characters who all teach her something about life. To be honest, this is possibly one of the most gorgeous trailers I’ve ever seen and I truly can’t wait to see this film.
Stars: Quvenzhane Wallis, Dwight Henry, Levy Easterly, Marilyn Barbarin, Jonshel Alexander, Kaliana Brower, Joseph Brown, and Nicholas Clark
Release Date: TBD
That does it for this edition of the Trailer Roundup!
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Having awoken from their spring break extravaganza at Lake Victoria, the swarm heads upstream where they look to make a meal out of Big Wet, a local water park where when it comes to fun, nobody does it wetter! Thought they came to get wet, get loaded and get some, the staff and patrons get more than they bargained for when they must face the fiercest, most bloodthirsty piranhas yet.
Release Date: TBA 2012
Labeled an outcast by his brainy family, a bouncer overcomes long odds to lead a team of under performing misfits to semi-pro hockey glory, beating the crap out of everything that stands in his way
Release Date: February 24th, 2012