Tag Archives: Eric Cartman

South Park: Season 15, Episode 10 “Bass to Mouth” Review

RECAP: In this episode, there is a website “Eaves Dropper” that all of the kids are following. It shows all of its viewers all of the gossip about the students at the elementary school.

 One of the students, Pete, “shit his pants in front of everyone”, and Cartman is spreading the rumor, assisted by the Eaves Dropper website. The staff believes that Pete might kill himself, because of the situation that happened to another student a year ago. They offer him a deal. If Pete doesn’t kill himself, they will make it worth his while.He puts laxatives in cupcakes and offers one to a little girl. She eats it, craps her pants, and then tries to kill herself by jumping off the roof.They then come up with a new plan. A pizza party will feature laxative-filled Pizza Hut…. with Arby’s Horsey sauce.

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South Park: Season 15, Episode 8 “Ass Burgers” Review

“I don’t want hamburgers coming out of MY butt!”

 This episode was absolutely fantastic and hilarious. They addressed the big events of the previous episode, which I like. I am used to The Simpsons starting over every episode.

I am extraordinarily excited about the fact that they made fun of the word “Aspergers“. I have thought about that every time I heard it. Although it is nothing to make fun of… it really is.

In this episode, Stan is diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, as he continues seeing everything as shit. Stan goes to a group for Asperger’s patients, which is actually a group for cynics. They claim that everything really IS shit, and aliens are sending out brain waves to humans so that they think that everything is normal, ala They Live. During all of this, Cartman discovers that by putting hamburgers in his ass, he can make them irresistibly delicious, and starts a hamburger business.

 The group of cynics gives Stan a glass of Jameson, and Stan sees the world as normal, and once again, thinks Adam Sandler is funny. (For the record, I love Adam Sandler.)

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Review: South Park – Season 15, Episode 7 ‘You’re Getting Old’

In this episode of South Park, Stan gets a ‘Tween Wave’ CD as a birthday gift. His mother says he can’t listen to it, and takes the CD away from him. When Stan’s dad Randy approaches his wife about it, he decides to take the kids’ side, and jumps on the ‘Tween Wave’ bandwagon.

I love the beginning of this episode for so many reasons, not the least of which being that this situation happened to me as a pre-teen. My mom took an Eminem CD away from my older sister that she and I listened to. My dad immediately took our side, and defended our right to listen to whatever music we want. It was hilarious.

The episode took an amazing turn when Stan visited the doctor, only to find out he has a condition called “being a cynical asshole”. The doctor said that as we grow older, our tastes in everything change, and things that used to sound great begin sounding like shit. Conversely, the things that used to look and sound like shit supposedly begin to seem less like shit. The doctor then tells Stan that his wires somehow got crossed and everything looks and sounds like shit. Then, I got to hear an AMAZING impression of Bob Dylan. Classic.

"Look at these 2 pictures. One of them is an ad for Kevin James' new movie THE ZOOKEEPER. And the other is a turd in a microwave. Which one is the ad for the ZOOKEEPER?"

Continue reading Review: South Park – Season 15, Episode 7 ‘You’re Getting Old’

Review: South Park – Season 15, Episode 5 ‘Crack Baby Athletic Association’

South Park has been an institution for so long that it sometimes is lost on us how well they have their finger on the pulse of pop culture and the world. It never ceases to amaze me the different directions they take with the boys and how they can approach a touchy subject and mix it with both subtle and over the top humor to keep us entertained. However, it is safe to say that the season has been somewhat inconsistent, and just like Darth Saeris, I was looking forward to seeing them jump into a rhythm in the season. What we have here was a good, but not great episode with up and down moments of hilarity.

It starts off with Stan and Kyle watching TV and then getting interrupted by those infamous Sarah McLachlan commercials that take the mood down like a SNL Gilly sketch. This time, instead of the animals, she’s jumped on the train of crack babies, and the atrocities they encounter in life but most importantly, JUST LOOK AT THEM!

Kyle and Stan try to resist, but it’s too late. The tractor beam of manipulative images has them by the throat and the only way Kyle can shake it is by volunteering at the local hospital.

Kyle stops by the crack baby ward to do what he can to help the children. He then runs into Cartman in a nice shirt and tie and a video camera. Kyle is suspicious and asks Cartman why he’s there to which the reply is to help the children. Kyle, hilariously, asks again why he’s there. He knows he’s up to no good and follows Cartman to his new office where he’s gathered with his “firm” and is editing tapes together to his most brilliant money-making idea to date: Crack Baby Basketball League. Those four words are enough to make Kyle walk away.

That was my second favorite moment of the episode, and obviously was Comedy Central’s because they put that in the promo. The concept is that they put a crack ball in the middle of the crack babies and watch them go after it. A fairly simple idea to exploit with the wonders of YouTube and the internet. But as outrageous as the idea is, it’s brilliant because if Break.com, or any attention seeker on YouTube can gather fame doing the most asinine things, why not the South Park kids? Regardless, Kyle’s needed for the idea because they need a bookkeeper and duh, the Jews know their accounting. All it takes is a trip to Denny’s and the glory of ‘Baconalia’ to get Kyle to sign up. Kyle is assured that this is what the babies want and in the long run, this will benefit them. After all, it’s about the kids right?

We see Butters and Cartman on a recruiting trip to a pregnant crackhead’s house to try to recruit her ‘in the womb’ kid to play in their league. She wants the money, but of course, it’s against Cartman’s rules that he set up because no babies can get paid but she does not see the point and putting her kid with the league. Kyle pops in later after Stan rebuffs him by telling him he sounds like Cartman, concerning the stupid ideas and justification with concerns about the crack babies financial welfare. Cartman is just dealing with the fact that he needs Slash to perform at halftime and he’s just nowhere to be found. Kyle needs a reason to stay though. Cartman offers that in a hot tub of KFC gravy and McDonald’s french fries. Who wouldn’t stay for that?

However, now with a member of his own team questioning the money distribution Cartman must seek the answers to find a loophole and then gets to University of Colorado – Boulder to find out how they are able to make money off of their slaves, ahem, excuse me, “student-athletes”. Now, this is what I love about the show. Obviously NCAA violations about paying the athletes are front and center what seems to be a weekly basis. It’s always interesting to see the colleges that receive money for endorsements, ticket sales, merchandise and even the NCAA that get the money from EA Sports games to put these “student-athletes” into the game with no concessions. What’s really the difference in the exploitation of these crack babies versus the administrators or agents that take in kids in order to have dollar signs embedded in their eyes? But enough of deep thoughts, let’s get back to the story. I will say the great part of this act was seeing Cartman dressed as a southern plantation owner type trying to find a loophole to protect himself.

Kyle can’t shake that the babies still have nothing so he devises a plan with the EA Sports money they are going to get: build a crack baby orphanage. Cartman sees his loophole, declares his love of Kyle’s Jewish ingenuity and it’s his “university” for his money-making plan. Also, Slash can’t be found. He in Colorado and Russia in the same afternoon. Something is off…but Cartman sends his minions to the post office to gather information on Slash. But guess what? Slash isn’t REAL. He’s basically a Dutch Saint whose legend began in a fable and now has taken the world by storm. Because seriously, the dude is everywhere.

It actually makes more and more sense the more I think about it. Parents basically dress up as him a la Santa and rock the axe whenever needed. Again, makes more and more sense as I think about it. Great moment of the episode by the way, at least until the Denny’s sequence where it’s revealed to all the Slash isn’t real. The reaction is hilarious by Cartman especially when explained that it was his parents that performed at his 8th birthday and probably their parents that performed with Guns and Roses. Stan gets the best exit line because he knew all along and now knows how gullible his friends truly are.

Cartman and gang arrives to EA Sports only to find out that they have signed over all the rights to the Crack Baby Athletic Association. They are told thanks and you’re welcome for the lessons learned now get the hell out. Nothing like the exploitation of the helpless for capital gain huh? But what the hell, Slash ain’t real? Forget the kids, that’s just…too much to handle. Episode ends with Kyle and Stan finding out that someone built the Crack Baby Orphanage after all and…what’s this? Slash’s hat and guitar? It must be a November Rain miracle!

As I said in the beginning, no one is better than South Park in taking situations in the real world and throwing their spin on it. The exploitation tactics that are employed and the hilarity that ensues in this episode shows that. There was not too many laugh out loud moments for me but I still laughed a lot and dug this episode. It definitely had its fair share of moments and although not spot on consistent throughout the whole episode, it’s definitely in the above-average grade of episodes. Here’s hoping this momentum keeps going and the season hits its stride now.

3.5 cracked out grizzlies out of 5 should suffice.

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Review: South Park – Season 15, Episode 4 ‘T.M.I.’

After the last three lackluster episodes I’m ready for a decent South Park episode and it’s off to a good start. We begin with a good Cartman rant about how the school doesn’t care about them and accusations fly about the school posting everyone’s penis sizes in the hallway. Kyle and Stan disbelieve it, but sure enough there is a poster showing how the students have “Grown” since the last physical. Cartman has a bright idea and the boys make their own list and post it over the school’s. Catman’s of course is the smallest in his class.

Principal Victoria informs Eric that he acts too rashly because of his anger and sends him to therapy, and then anger management. Honestly, the scene with the therapist calling Cartman fat made me laugh harder than any of the first three episodes combined. I need to thank Trey Parker and Matt Stone for getting back to basics, because this episode was great.

The anger management group was funny enough with the tea bagger and white ghetto kid, but when Randy Marsh gets involved it’s just downright classic. He is sent to the group for beating the ever-loving shit out of the Surgeon General for debunking his super complex T.M.I. penis length formula. They dub themselves the ‘Pissed Off and Angry Party’ and apparently people who are so pissed off at the world and the government, are only that way because… they have tiny, tiny dicks. I’ll buy into that. I liked the inclusion of the truck nuts on the last guy’s car by the way, because the people who put those on a vehicle are complete scum.

The episode flew by and I laughed throughout, so to me, that’s a damn good episode. I give this episode a 3 out of 5 bears. It wasn’t a future classic or anything, but it was a vast improvement over the first three episodes. Now I can’t wait until next week because South Park is officially back.

South Park: Season 15 Premiere – ‘HUMANCENTiPAD’

Let me start by saying that I think South Park is one of the smartest and funniest shows on television. It fearlessly attacks and satirizes everything and everyone. In a culture so disgustingly obsessed with being ‘politically correct’, South Park is a beacon of reason since they seem to try their hardest to buck that trend. So I was quite excited that the premiere of the 15th season had snuck up on me. It was a pleasant surprise to check my DVR after Justified and find a new episode. What was less pleasant was the episode itself…

The focus of the episode was around the Apple iPad. Cartman pretended to have one (of course) and obviously made fun of all the kids who didn’t have one. When he gets called out for his lies he turns to his mother for help. At this same time Apple shows up to abduct Kyle, which is a result of him clicking things before reading them. Apparently he agreed to an entire litany of things in the last update Apple sent him…which he did not read.

So Cartman convinces his Mom to forgo the waiting period before his birthday and take him to get an iPad right then. However, upon learning she cannot afford one, he proceeds to let everyone know she is ‘f–king him’. It’s metaphorical, but people then start to believe that she is actually molesting her son.

At this time Kyle is being prepped for surgery…Human Centipede style.

So while Cartman is telling everyone that his mom is f–king him (including Dr. Phil), Kyle is being made to eat a man’s poop.  The Steve Jobs then explains why this is gonna be the next best thing. Apple users eat it up.

Overall though, I didn’t get it.

I liked how smug and gullible they made Apple users seem (since I use a PC), and Cartman dropping F-Bombs was funny the first few times, but I just didn’t laugh. Not the way South Park normally makes me laugh. It addressed how dependent some people are on their Apple products, and how useless some of their innovations are, but that people will run out to buy the stuff anyways.

The Human Centipede stuff just missed for me. And don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t grossed out by the episode, and it was actually a nice nod to Human Centipede which is a movie that I kind of, sort of enjoyed.

Something just didn’t click for me here though. I give it 2 Bears.