Monthly Archives: November 2011

MOVIES

Grizzly Review: The Muppets

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Reminiscing is a lot of fun. No, really, it is. Everyone loves sitting around, talking about the good ol’ days with his or her family. Granted a lot of them eat their feelings later, but hey! That’s definitely not the point I’m trying to make here. My point is, everyone’s up for a good amount of nostalgia. You don’t need to be looking all deep into the specifics of it, just agree with me and move on.

Nostalgia takes some not-so-human form in Jason Segel’s reboot of The Muppets. Bringing back all of the familiar faces that we know and love, The Muppets succeeds on so many levels that it’s hard to count them all, but I will try. First off, the writing and jokes are absolutely wonderful. 2011 has been a great year for good-hearted family comedies, and The Muppets is no exception. It appeals to both fans of the original show (AKA Parents) and the knee-knockers who don’t know what the hell a Muppet is (AKA their Children). The perfect blend of wit and slapstick pretty much guarantees an enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Puppet animation has come a long way since the 1979 The Muppet Movie, and it definitely reveals itself in the form of legs.

That’s right, folks. The Muppets now have legs that come in handy (no pun intended) during the equally elaborate and hilarious dance sequences that take place in various parts of the film. The songs are catchy, the lyrics are ingenious, and the result is a musical that even musical haters such as myself will enjoy.

The plot is familiar; the Muppets need to put on a telethon to save the Muppet Theater. It’s something we’ve seen before, but I think it’s the only plot that would’ve worked. It brings back memories to older viewers regarding similar scenarios, but is also simple and enjoyable enough for the young ones. More importantly, the Muppets themselves are brought to life by fantastic voice acting and even better puppeteers. You really connected with the characters on a whole new plateau. In this case, the Muppets seemed more human than the actual humans.

And who can forget the cameos! There’s an insane amount of star cameos in this movie. More than I’d even care to name. It really does keep you on your toes the entire time, seeing who just might pop up next.

Everything in The Muppets is near flawless, and it really is a welcome return for the lovable puppets. Also, I got to hear Chris Cooper rap. This is something I never thought I’d see. I think I can now die peacefully.

4.5/5 Bears

MOVIES

Grizzly Review: Jack and Jill

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Oh dear lord, Adam Sandler. What the hell happened to you?

I’m going to skip the formalities here and get right down to it, Jack and Jill royally sucks ass. I’m not one to use these terms loosely, because to be honest, not a lot of movies necessarily suck ass. Let’s take a movie I reviewed earlier this month, Like Crazy. Was it a bad movie? Yes, it was. Did it suck ass? No, it did not. Allow me to further my point.

Jack and Jill, as you may have heard, is about two identical twins that go at it during Thanksgiving, Hanukah, their respective birthdays, and New Year’s. Literally the entire movie is fighting and a creepy Al Pacino, which I’ll get into a little bit later. The premise, which revolves partially around getting Jack’s sister Jill out of the house, and the rest of the plot, involves getting her to stay. Now, call me crazy, but I think that’s considered a conflict of interests on the part of the borderline schizophrenic lead, Jack.


He truly is an ass. A royal ass one could say. He treats his sister like she’s dirt. He sets her up on dates with weird men, he bullies her every chance he gets, and he ultimately uses her to get Al Pacino to do him a favor. He brings the term “dick move” to a whole new level.

The writing really is absolutely atrocious, with some of the most unnecessarily drawn out and cringe-worthy conversations I’ve seen in recent years. The banter between Jack and Jill isn’t cute, it isn’t funny, it isn’t even amusing. No, their seemingly endless conversations are just annoying, like the rest of this movie. Annoying, annoying, annoying.

Adam Sandler pretty much does the same thing in a lot of his movies. I know damn well he’s a capable actor and that he really does know how to pull out a good performance (e.g., Funny People and Punch-Drunk Love).

Here, on the other hand, he does the usual Adam Sandler performance. Angry, oppressed, needy, and whiny. Except he does it in a way that gives off the feeling that he was quite bored during shooting. He exaggerates everything to the max, and it seems that he’s been playing the asswipe father in quite a few of his recent movies, and I’m starting to think that that’s just how he is in real life.

As Jill, on the other hand, he’s ferociously aggravating. Everything that Jill does, I want to just punch her in the nose for. It’s the 2nd most inspired thing in the entire movie though, behind the one and only, Al Pacino. I laughed twice in this movie. Two times. The first time involved Al Pacino in a disguise. The second time involved Adam Sandler as Jill farting aggressively in a bathroom. Farts are funny people, get over it.

Anyway, Al Pacino. What can I say about Mr. Pacino’s performance? Well, it was…inspired. He really did give it his all and I commend him for his bravery. I really do. Any self-respecting actor who can really put his heart into a project like this is truly brave, or completely insane. Most of the times it’s both, though.

But, back to the bashing of this flick, I have a message to Adam Sandler. WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE JEWISH. WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE PROUD OF THIS, AND WE APPRECIATE IT. WITH THAT BEING SAID, WHY IS THE FACT THAT YOU’RE JEWISH HAVE TO BE UP TO 33% OF THE TOTAL JOKES TOLD IN YOUR FILMS? It really is a simple question. Every three or four jokes there was something about being Jewish. In each and every film Mr. Sandler makes it becomes more and more prevalent and more and more irritating.

Also, I felt that the portrayal of Mexicans in this movie was over-the-top, racist, and unnecessary. I’m all for a good dose of healthy racism with a point like in the Harold & Kumar films, but the things that some of the Hispanic characters said in this film are just downright embarrassing.

Product placement is also something I noticed in this film a lot. The person I went to go see Jack and Jill with had a bet with me. We were supposed to count the amount of farts and the amount of times we saw product placement. In short, we lost count. You know you’re in a bad movie when there’s a scene that takes place in a cinema, only to see a bunch of Coca-Cola stickers popping out from all the concessions.

As for being the worst film of the year, that honor goes to Cars 2, which truly is a horrible, horrible film. Where does Jack and Jill fare, you ask? Pretty damn close. I really can’t recommend this movie to many people, unless you want to see Al Pacino act like a fool. There are a lot of great cameos that keep things relatively exciting, but when Johnny Depp isn’t popping up on screen, either Jack or Jill are, and you really don’t want to see that.

1 Grizzly out of 5

 P.S. Why in the hell is this movie rated PG?

MOVIES

Grizzly Review: Immortals

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I’m not the only one who sensed a little bit of homo eroticism in 300 right? I mean, I can’t be the only one who thought that men jumping around in a cup and a cape is just a little indulgent, right? Don’t get me wrong, 300 is an awesome movie, it’s just an observation.

Much like 300, the new Greek mythology action flick, Immortals, offers us men with barely any clothes on who are pretty much ripped. Immortals, which is about a peasant named Theseus who ends up leading a small army against the much larger army of King Hyperion, the man who killed his mother.

I’ll be honest, Immortals really isn’t a film packed with great plotting, but it doesn’t have to be. It offers us the right amount of story, a good amount of action, and enough characterization to make us care about what happens to our heroes and heroines. It’s an old school action flick with state of the art effects and top-notch fight choreography.
Henry Cavill, who plays Theseus, gives a more than acceptable performance, and has a very bright future in action films, with his next role being Superman in the upcoming film Man of Steel. Mickey Rourke also gives it his all as King Hyperion, a truly evil man. Stephen Dorff has an important and frankly awesome supporting role as Stavros, a fast-talking slave who helps Theseus and his band of Greek slaves break free. Frieda Pinto plays the ridiculously gorgeous Phaedra, the virgin Oracle who is also freed by Stavros and Theseus.

Above all the acting, plotting, and writing, though, are the visuals. Tarsem Singh, the director of Immortals, makes the film look perfect, and shoots some of the most gorgeous action sequences that you’ll probably ever see in a movie. Decapitations and disembowelments never looked so good. The visual effects are seamlessly intertwined with the real sets to create a truly breathtaking amount of scenery.

If Immortals has one thing going for it besides its visuals, it’s the action. The build-up to the final 35 minute epic battle is classic, familiar, but at the same time fresh and inviting. The action is leveled out very well between all the characters, giving each one a good amount of brawling to do. Out of all the exceptional sequences, though, one stands out from all of them; the fight between the Gods and the Titans, which are the Greek mythology equivalent of zombies, except zombies never kicked ass like the Titans.

For those of you saying, “Oh, it’s not historically accurate”, or “That’s not what the original myth was about.” All I can say is, I don’t care at all. Immortals is creative, beautiful, brutal, violent, and intriguing in its ability to tell a story through the simple sweep of a knife. It’s the most unpretentious movie of the year, and also the coolest looking one. How audiences did not embrace this more, I’ll never know. It out-300s, 300, which is saying a lot considering the bad-assery that was 300. Do yourself a favor, go veg out with Immortals. It’s not meant to be taken too seriously, and it really is just a good time at the theater.

4/5 Bears

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The Griz Bin – Superheroes Giving Thanks, Reinventing Batman, and Casey Jones

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Welcome to The Griz Bin, a weekly look at the wide world of comic related nonsense that we all know and love.

Bruce Wayne’s Medical Records: One man who will never get Health Insurance. – [League of Ordinary Gentleman]

The 5 Most Impractical Aspects of Superhero Costumes: Ever wonder where Catwoman keeps her whip? Or how they chase after villains in high heels and nipple tassles? Well, your not the only one… – [Cracked]

Girls in Their Undies vs. Zombies: I shouldn’t have to say anything else. A bunch of girls… in their undies… killing Zombies… – [GeekTyrant]

Wonder Woman is Having Plastic Man Issues: art by dominiquefam. This is why I could never be a superhero.

Continue reading The Griz Bin – Superheroes Giving Thanks, Reinventing Batman, and Casey Jones →

Movie News & Opinions

‘Akira’ Update – Oldman out, Ken Watanabe Might Be In

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A quick addendum to yesterday’s casting update for Warner Brothers’ remake of Akira: I’ve got my morning coffee, meaning I’m not nearly as bitter as I was yesterday. Oh and also, Superhero Hype has word that Gary Oldman has officially passed on the part of Colonel Shikishima, and Ken Watanabe (Inception) is their next choice for the character.

Watanabe is quickly becoming a recognizable face for his role in big movies like Christopher Nolan’s Inception and Batman Begins, but he’s had equal success in Japanese cinema. He’s a talented guy and would likely handle a complex role like ‘The Colonel’ pretty well, not to mention he’d be lending some much needed credibility to the rest of the young and fairly untested cast. With Oldman out, there’s not much star power left to carry the picture.

That said though, Garret Hedlund is still the only actor locked down as of yet. We’ll keep you updated on all the Akira news as it develops.

Movie News & Opinions

‘Akira’ Testing for the Role of Tetsuo

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Sigh. Gamma Squad‘s got the latest on casting for Warner Bros.’s Akira project and boy oh boy, there’s no getting away from how bad an idea this movie is. To recap, Garret Hedlund (Tron: Legacy) is still the probable choice for the role of Kaneda, Helena Bonham-Carter and Gary Oldman (both from Harry Potter) have been offered roles as Lady Miyako and Colonel Shikishima, and Kristen Stewart (Twilight) has been offered the role of Kei, who you can expect will have her character thrillingly revitalized as a bored white girl with no discernible personality.

She can hardly contain her excitement…

Here’s some more exciting news, if you think ‘exciting’ means crapping on things that exist: Kaneda and Tetsuo are now brothers! Betcha didn’t see that coming. Now this conflicted relationship between old friends decaying into resentment and hate is replaced with…sibling rivalry, I guess? Cool?

Speaking of Tetsuo, Warner Bros. is now screen-testing 8 actors for the role of the best-friend-turned-psychic-monster, though none of the listed actors look to me like they can pull off being in a cyber-punk biker gang:

From Left to right: (Top) DJ Cotrona (Detroit 187), Logan Marshal Green (Devil), Toby Kebbell (Rock n’ Rolla), Richard Madden (Game of Thrones). (Bottom) Rami Malek (Twilight: Breaking Dawn—Part 2), Michael Pitt (Boardwalk Empire), Paul Dano (Cowboys & Aliens), Alden Ehrenreich (Tetro)

I suppose of all of the candidates, the only actors I’m familiar with are Richard Madden, Paul Dano and Michael Pitt. I really enjoy Game of Thrones and am a fan of Paul Dano, however, so I think by default my go-to is Michael Pitt. He’s great on Boardwalk Empire, but I don’t have a vested interest in it, so I don’t mind seeing him tarnished by this tripe.

To be fair I shouldn’t be this cynical without having seen the finished product, but in my defense, WHAT THE HELL, HOLLYWOOD??