Monthly Archives: August 2012

MOVIES

Dr. Kronner’s Joy: THE EXPENDABLES 2

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I was born in 1983, which means that by the time I was old enough to watch and actually understand what was happening in movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were the 2 biggest names in Hollywood. Those two were churning out some of the greatest action movies of all time, stuff like Predator, Conan, Terminator, the Rambo series, and the Rocky movies. However, they were also rolling out crap like Cobra and Red Heat too. As young as I was, I couldn’t really tell which ones were destined to be remembered as classics and which were fated to be forgotten (Raw Deal? Lock Up?) but I loved all of them. I was just a kid, but I can remember many an evening spent on the couch with the old man watching Rocky IV or The Running Man and through that, I grew attached to the genre and its stars. The action movies of the era were totally over the top (get it?) and I couldn’t get enough.

the expendables 2Here is Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis back when Bruce was still wearing hats everywhere to hide his hairline. This particular one he probably got from the ‘Hudson Hawk’ set…

As the ’80s came to a close, a third action icon would emerge – Bruce Willis. His breakthrough role in Die Hard, still arguably the greatest action movie in existence, placed him rightfully in the conversation with Arnold and Sly, and for years, that was the hierarchy. But, as with every hero, age took its toll. Stallone did Cliffhanger in ’93 and Arnold had True Lies in ’94, but after that they both turned out a series of near unwatchable garbage – The Specialist, Assassins, Daylight, End of Days, Collateral Damage, The 6th Day – the list goes on and on. While Willis would find success in a few more Die Hard movies, even he started to shy away from the genre for a while. That is until 2006 when Stallone, desperate for a hit, went back to the role that made him with Rocky Balboa. At 60 years old, he proved he could still draw audiences and he repeated the feat 2 years later with a 4th Rambo movie. Suddenly, the gears started turning and the movie I had prayed for 20 years earlier began to take shape…

the expendables 2

In 2010, Stallone started recruiting his aging contemporaries to make a star-studded action movie that revolved around the idea that they could all still fire guns and blow shit up, and it was great. Ok, so maybe not ‘great’, but it was entertaining as hell and pure nostalgia was often enough to power you through the weak dialogue and thin plot. Then on Thursday night, August 16th, at about 11:55 pm, I loaded myself into a theater seat and got ready for the sequel to begin. I was not disappointed.

the expendables 2

This time around, we were given not only Stallone (66) and Jason Statham (45) again, as well as much larger roles for Willis (57) and Schwarzenegger (65), but we also get the return of Jet Li (49), Dolph Lundgren (55), Randy Couture (49), and Terry Crews (44). Not to mention the inclusion of Chuck Norris (72 years old!), Thor’s little brother (22), and a 52 year old JCVD! It was awesome. Norris told a ‘Chuck Norris’ joke while going by the moniker ‘Lone Wolf’ (like Lone Wolf McQuade), Van Damme did multiple roundhouse kicks as the villain named ‘Vilain’, and Dolph Lundgren’s backstory was that of his real life – a chemical engineering degree from MIT…it’s like Stallone was writing the script while watching an action marathon on SpikeTV and reading Wikipedia.

the expendables 2

The movie also featured Nan Yu, who’s mostly Chinese resume I’m unfamiliar with. While she wasn’t bad, I would’ve gone with Maggie Q instead. With her resume already boasting adrenaline fueled flicks like Live Free or Die Hard, Mission Impossible: III, and the action-packed TV show Nikita, it just felt like a missed opportunity to grab the biggest cast they could. However, Nan Yu probably has more global pull and that could be why the decision was made. That being said, Yu did kick some ass in here.

the expendables 2

This was a movie that didn’t take itself too serious and delivered on the action. There were a few parts that might have come off as cheesy dialogue-wise, and it’s doubtful many people under the age of 18 could really appreciate most of the references, but for me, at the wise age of 29 – I was thrilled. The Expendables 2 delivered exactly what was promised and didn’t try to be something it wasn’t. The ‘R’ rating is barely warranted as the language wasn’t super harsh, there were zero female chesticles exposed (as Aaron pointed out), and much of the violence was so stylized it wasn’t intensely gory.

There is also something I want to give them credit for – something that seems to be a lost art form in most newer action movies – HOLDING THE GODDAMN CAMERA STILL!  Ever since Spielberg wow’d everyone in ’98 with the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, directors have been shaking the camera around so much you can’t tell what is happening. Perfect example would be ALL of the Bourne sequels. This time around the camera stayed stationary long enough for us to actually see the action happen – so thank you Simon West (Con Air, The Mechanic).

Overall, while the plot was a little thin and, quite often, the characters just seem to appear out of nowhere for the purpose of delivering a one-liner, this movie was a fun ride, and I think trumped the first movie easily. I give it 4/5 Grizzlies for delivering on its intended purpose and staying fun.

 

Despite the movie only being out a day in its spread its seed of unabashed 80s magnificence, there are already rumors that for the 3rd movie Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, and Nic Cage are all wanted.

the expendables 2As sweet as Eric Roberts and JCVD were in the first 2 movies, Nic Cage could be the greatest villain since Hans Gruber if written correctly (Editor’s Note: Honestly, he’d be the best villain ever if written incorrectly, which is what I’m rooting for.-C Tan).  PUT HIM IN A BEAR SUIT!!!

Personally, I’d like to maybe see Linda Hamilton or Sigourney Weaver pop up as they were the baddest ass action heroines around when I was a kid. You could also see if Uma is busy, let her do some more sword play as it will have been over a decade since Kill Bill…

the expendables 2

And, it may just be my movie-riddled mind drawing connections where there are none – but I spotted references to all the following movies – did anyone catch one that I missed?

– Good Guys Wear Black (1978)
– Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
– Conan the Barbarian (1982)
– First Blood (1982)
– Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
– The Terminator (1984)
– Die Hard (1989)
– Total Recall (1990)

I’m sure there are more, I just have to go see it again…

SPORTS

Preview and Predictions for WWE Summerslam’s Co-Main events

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From a purely wrestling standpoint, I am very much looking forward to the 25th anniversary of what is arguably the WWE’s second biggest PPV of the year, “Summerslam.” I believe that the WWE has truly matched some of their best wrestlers stylistically and at the end of the night those who paid for the event should be happy.

Sharing the main event slot in this Sundays event, but selfishly not the poster for the event itself, is Brock Lesnar. This is his second match since returning in April and he will face Triple H in a singles match. In April, we saw Lesnar take on John Cena in what could have been considered more of a bar brawl then a wrestling match. He ended up losing the bout but while this outcome seemed to serve Cena a lot of good in terms of his fan base, it did this match at Summerslam no favors because naturally the WWE universe is now expecting, and rightfully so, a Lesnar victory.

I understand that Lesnar is under a contract with very limited appearances per month, but I still feel like this storyline and match buildup could have been written better by an enthusiastic 9-year-old. At the end of April, we start with Triple H having his arm broken by Lesnar. This was followed by a couple of months of Heyman buildup, a lame brawl at Raw’s 1,000 episode and another broken arm by Lesnar on Shawn Michaels. After all of that, this is supposed to have me all fired up for this match to see Hunter get “retribution?” Sorry all mighty creative WWE writers but this just didn’t get the job done for me as far as the storyline goes.

However, lucky for the WWE, their lackluster buildup for the match won’t affect most fans excitement for the match itself due to how aggressive of a fight it will be despite the lack of buildup. If Triple H’s last match with the Undertaker was any indication of how he will fight at Summerslam, and Lesnar’s match at backlash was any indication of how he will fight, the fans who are looking forward to a brawl will be thrilled with the match.

Although I don’t see the Lesnar/Hunter storyline continuing after Sunday, it won’t be necessary after watching all the events unravel. Overall, I see the 25th anniversary of Summerslam being well worth every penny that fans will pay for it and I am very much looking forward to seeing how the results of the event will impact the storyline going into the Night of Champions PPV in September.

MOVIES

The Expendables 2 – 2 AM Text Review

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My buddy Aaron is a bartender for a certain movie theater here in Michigan, and on occasion, the theater will have advanced screenings for movies the Wednesday night prior to the film’s release. Well early this Thursday morning I got a few texts from my good friend about his thoughts on Stallone’s newest epic one-liner fest…

Aaron: It’s 2am and I just saw expendables 2 so you gotta wake up!  – 2:21 AM

Aaron: I’d hate to insult the definition of plot by saying this movie had one. It’s more like, simple reasons we’re about to kill these guys. – 2:22 AM

Aaron: That being said, it was the prefect kind of movie for a cheesy ass script.  – 2:22 AM

Aaron: Rambo, Die Hard, Terminator, even Chuck Norris jokes. Lots of action, average acting, some pretty good humor. – 2:24 AM

Aaron: Boob count: Zero. But I’ll give an award to Walker Texas Ranger for having the best kill.  – 2:25 AM

Aaron: 3.5 Grizzlies out of 5. Is that the scale? I don’t know. I’m tired. Leave me alone. Go to sleep. – 2:28 AM


For more of Aaron’s 2 AM Reviews – CLICK HERE!

TV

Breaking Bad: 505 “Dead Weight” Review

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Where do I even begin? There’s really no way to start an article like this, but here goes nothing. Thus far, Season 5 has, sans the fourth episode, proved itself to be the best of the entire series. It’s taken chances, it’s given Jesse the time to shine he’s always deserved, and it’s put Mike at the center of everything, something almost everyone wanted in Season 4. The introduction of new characters has been astoundingly well done, and the development of old characters (excluding Skyler because she’s just awful), has been just as perfect.

This leads to Episode 5 of Season 5, one of the most heart-pounding, nail-bitingly intense episodes of TV ever put to air. After another strange opening scene involving a small child on a quad putting a very large spider in a jar, the episode starts at 6th gear and doesn’t stop. By now, Mike, Walt, and Jesse have made a deal with Madrigal that ensures both their safety and as much methylamine as they’ll ever need. Their plan? To rob a train that passes through Albuquerque every so often. Of the many liquids contained on the train, one of them is their precious methylamine. How much? About 1000 gallons.

Enlisting the help of Pest Shop Boys employee Todd (Jesse Plemons, who is turning out to be a much more capable actor than I originally thought), whom we first saw in 503 “Hazard Pay”, the guys plan and pull off what is literally the perfect robbery. In one of the most daring and intense train robberies ever committed to film, “Breaking Bad” has solidified its status in the motion picture hall of fame with this one.

Meanwhile, Walt Jr. (who is once more calling himself Flynn), and little Holly are both staying with Hank and Marie. Jr. spends most of his time in his room, not talking to anyone. When he does talk to someone, though, it’s usually a short answer or a question about why he can’t stay in his own home. But a heartbreaking scene reveals an obviously stressed Walt pulling a little bit of Heisenberg on his kid in a way we’ve never seen before. Whereas Walt is usually very fair and explanatory with Junior, this time he pulls a “because I said so” and basically scares Junior out of the house.

Skyler theatrically announces that she’ll continue to launder Walt’s money and “be whatever partner you want me to be” as long as Junior and Holly don’t stay at the house. She feels that if anyone were to come and kill him or kill her, they shouldn’t be in the house to see that or become a part of the danger. While she actually makes a decent point, her approach is always so cocky and melodramatic that I can’t seem to take her seriously. Ever. She just…needs to go.

*SPOILERS*

This is all fine and dandy, and ending the episode like that would have been perfectly satisfying. But it takes an extremely dark turn, even for a show like this. After successfully pulling off the robbery, the little kid from the first scene reveals himself to the group and waves at them. Stunned, Todd is the only one who waves back but suddenly he pulls out a gun, shoots, and kills the child. Now, if you’ve been following this season, you’ll know that Todd was developed excellently as a loyal addition to the group, and I thought the show would actually take a more Ocean’s 11 direction than anything, but nothing is ever as it seems with “Breaking Bad”.

Usually, I’m not a fan of when well-developed characters suddenly flash their dark side, but this one just seemed, in a strange way…natural. Jesse’s always been a fan of kids (he’s almost gotten himself killed over kids he didn’t even know), and Walt, a father himself, was surely appalled by what happened. But then there’s Todd. He’s a young guy with nothing to lose and we really don’t know his predicament when he enters the scene. Of course, that all changes when he reveals himself to be a ruthless killer. I’m interested if cooking meth will even be a major point of the show anymore, or will the manhunt to end all manhunts ensue, ending with Walt’s demise and Hank’s obvious reveal of the identity of Heisenberg.

I though the show was going in one direction, instead, it took a turn that I never saw coming, and I kind of love that.

4.5/5 Bears

Movie News & Opinions

Bane’s Costume: Will We Find Out More Later?

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One of the best parts about movies is, in my opinion, the costuming.  Just think how important costumes are – would Daniel Radcliffe be Harry Potter without his glasses on, or would we even believe that Scarlett O’Hara was a selfish, upper-class Southern girl if she wore maid’s clothes?  Heck, costumes are so important that they even have their own award at the Oscars.

First attempt to costume Bane…

That’s why when I saw The Dark Knight Rises in the theatres I actually spent a second or two investigating each new costume that appeared on the screen.  I adored Selina Kyle’s classy, Audrey Hepburn-style dresses and accessories, that is when she wasn’t kicking ass in her (thankfully) full-coverage Catwoman disguise.  However, what really piqued my interest was Bane’s entire ensemble and how much it horrifically reminded me of soldiers’ uniforms from central and eastern Europe during World War II.

Apparently, I was not too far in my thinking.  In a recent interview with GQ, The Dark Knight Rises‘s costume designer, Lindy Hemming, said that the costuming department specifically looked for the type of military coats that people would wear in Eastern Europe or Northern Pakistan, “where  [mercenaries] find military surplus and wear it” (GQ).  Hemming also said that Christopher Nolan asked for Bane’s outfit to be a bit reminiscent of the French Revolution, so she tried to envision and create a coat that had a high collar which then bends back down.  Finish Bane off with pants tucked into army boots and some heavy knee pads and you’ve got one scary-looking son of a bitch.

But what about Bane’s funky-looking belt and gas mask?  That’s a good question. One that was apparently answered during the filming of the movie, and yet, all of those scenes were excluded from the final cut.  Hemming expressed her disappointment in this decision and said that there was originally a lot more backstory for Bane.

In regards to his belt, she pointed out that it was a combination belt and back brace for whatever injury happened to his back to cause the scars we see.  She said, “One of the fundamental things about his costume is that he has this scar from the back injury. Even if he hasn’t got the bulletproof vest on, he still has to wear the waist belt and the braces. In that scene in the prison, where he’s learning to fight the same way Batman learned to fight, he’s wearing an early version of his waist belt. It’s showing support, but it’s not the finished one he eventually wears” (GQ).

As for Bane’s gas mask, Hemming explained that one scene shot for the film clearly showed Bane being beaten by people while he was wearing an early version of his mask.  She also said that there was an entire other scene to help clarify where the mask even came from, and why he has to wear it.

I believe it’s a shame that these scenes were not included in the final cut of the film because the clothes really do make the man.  Without the information about why Bane wears a gas mask or a brace belt for his scars and back, he suddenly becomes a little less intimidating, and also a little less goal-oriented.  Is what he’s doing in TDKR affected by more than the little bit of his past that was revealed to us?  We don’t know and can’t know yet, but hopefully the producers will realize this aspect of Bane’s character is necessary for developing the overall story and legend of the Batman legacy and include these cut scenes as special features in the DVD release.

Movie News & Opinions

Daredevil Movie Rights to Revert Back to Marvel Studios

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So remember all of the hullabaloo the other day about Fox giving up Daredevil or possibly some Fantastic Four characters? (If not, then read the article HERE.) Well Fox made their move and it was to simply…. Do nothing with Daredevil. Deadline, Variety and IGN have all reported that Fox fully intends to do nothing with a Daredevil movie by the October 10th deadline. Apparently they don’t feel that Daredevil is necessary when they have the full stable of X-men characters and the Fantastic Four. I have to say it at least seems like Fox is now heading in the right direction since X-men: First Class was released. Now it even seems like they may be having the good ole’ canucklehead set down the right path in the upcoming The Wolverine. Hugh Jackman has been out promoting the film as a standalone story, completely separate from Wolverine: Origins. Hey, if Logan can have amnesia and forget the horrible events of the first movie then we sure as hell can… and will if I have anything to say about it.

I’m definitely glad that Daredevil is heading back to the care of Marvel Studios. They’ve been producing hits left and right with their characters since the first Iron Man movie came out and have a lot of faith that they’ll continue the tradition with the Man Without Fear. There is no word as of yet whether or not Joe Carnahan will still get a shot at directing the movie, but I would imagine that Marvel has it’s own ideas about who they’ll want to use. Personally I think that Carnahan had the right vision for Daredevil, wanting the movie to be in the vein of a 70’s crime thriller and I hope they at least sit down and talk with the guy.

Another interesting tidbit would be that Fox retains the rights to the character Elektra who, let’s face it, plays a pretty big part in the comic world of Daredevil. I’m thinking they can either have a renamed character similar to her in the movie (or future movies) or use another dangerous femme fatale who has spent a lot of time with Matt Murdock in the superhero world and the bedroom; Black Widow. As you may or may not know, in the comic books the pair dated at one point and I think it could be perfect for a movie crossover for the two characters. Hell, Daredevil was more recently on an Avengers team in the comic world so it may not be out of the realm of possibility to have him in the Avengers 2. It probably wouldn’t happen, but unlike Fox, Marvel now has all of the time in the world to make their Daredevil movie. And this true believer has all of the confidence in the world that they can do it right.