Tag Archives: Tim Burton

Abraham Lincoln: The Most Ass-Kickingest President

The crazy success of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has created the market for a slew of similarly themed books starring historical or fictional characters versus the Occult. The first of these to hit the big screen will be Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, ahead of the proto-generator Pride and Prejudice and Zombies which isn’t scheduled to come out until 2013. Well, the trailer is out and the first thing that’s apparent is that AL:VH is swinging for the fences.

Continue reading Abraham Lincoln: The Most Ass-Kickingest President

#8 – Countdown to Christmas: NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

It’s no Hollywood secret that Tim Burton has lost it and hasn’t made a single good film in the last decade (probably because he keeps casting his psycho wife).  However, his first claymation attempt just happens to be one of my favorite movies, holidays aside.

Nightmare Before Christmas pairs together my two very favorite holidays: Halloween and Christmas; and throws in a little musical pizzazz, which I love!  The story centers around Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, whose fame in Halloween Town is only diminished by his lack of interest in doing his job.  He is sick of Halloween, of scaring, of the routine; and wants to find something more meaningful to do with his life.

In his morose state, Jack wanders and finds himself at a cluster of trees, which the audience knows must represent the different holidays.  Here, Jack opens the door to Christmas Town where his life is drastically changed.

In Christmas Town, Jack feels a warmth that he is unfamiliar with and desperately tries to duplicate it.  When he returns to Halloween Town, he shares his discoveries and announces that the residents of Halloween Town will take over Christmas.  He sends kidnappers to snare “Sandy Claws” and begins his Nightmare Before Christmas, as it were.

Jack and his cohorts are impossibly scary, and he does such a poor job with the gifts that he is blasted out of the sky and it is announced that Christmas will be canceled.  Jack is distressed and heartbroken.  He returns to Halloween Town to release Santa, the only one who can save Christmas.

In the end, Jack realizes that he doesn’t need to take over Christmas or even be a part of Christmas to find what he is looking for.  Running Halloween is what he was born to do, but he has found joy and warmth in his love with Sally.

I’m a sucker for claymation, I don’t know why.  Blame the California Raisins I guess.  Couple that with the brilliant score by Danny Elfman and you have, in my eyes, a winner and a great holiday favorite.

I hereby dub this film 4/5.

The Worst Movie Ever. “Batman & Robin”

For the decade plus, I’ve been telling anyone who would listen that I felt Batman & Robin  was the worst movie of all time. And that’s not a passing remark. This is something I’ve really thought a lot about. I spent over 5 years working behind video store counters in my youth, getting paid to talk movies with costumers, so this is a conversation that’s happened hundreds of times. A lot of people think I’m picking something at random when they ask me because I answer so quickly. People laugh and agree it sucked, but the worst ever? Often times they doubt me, but they haven’t put the thought I have into it. This is a movie with a $110 million dollar budget (back when that meant something), an established Director, great cast and most importantly, an icon that has endured for the better part of a century. Bat Nipples…

Let’s start at the head: Director Joel Schumacher. Prior to 1997, Schumacher had a mostly stellar reputation. Aside from the obvious The Lost Boys, he also put out A Time to Kill, Flatliners, and Falling Down. All of which were pretty well received. I know I was a fan. But in 1997, he spent $110 million (which is more than it took to make all 4 of the aforementioned films) on a mockery of everything DC and Tim Burton had spent so much time shaping.

The Dark Knight got dark again in the 1970s and 1980s, thanks largely to Frank Miller, and the guys at DC wanted a movie to reflect that. They spent most of the 80s trying to get one made, and finally, in 1989 we got Tim Burton’s Batman. It was as far from the hokey 60’s television show as you could have gotten, and it redefined Batman for a new generation. No “BAM! KAPOW!”, but instead a seriously darker look at Gotham City and the Caped Crusader.

The TV show in the 1960’s was a necessary step to keeping ‘Batman’, who was on the verge of his comic getting canceled, alive. And the show achieved that goal. It made Batman relevant again, or at least popular enough to keep his comic going. And while the 1970’s brought the seriousness back to the book, and reintroduced The Joker as a legitimate threat, Batman’s rep was already tarnished by the very show that saved him.

So there we were, 20 years after the end of the TV show and Burton’s Batman comes out and crushes everything at the box office. Batman was reborn.

Batman

BatmanAfter 20 years of fighting to rebuild Batman’s image, it was finally a success. The ‘Dark Knight’ was dark once more. Burton pumped out a sequel that saw more of the Gotham built-in the first movie, and shortly after that we got one of the greatest cartoons of all time.

Then, in 1995, Joel Schumacher was handed the franchise and it took a turn.

At first glance Schumacher must’ve seemed like a perfect fit. Flatliners was dark as Hell and Falling Down was as hardcore a vigilante movie as we’d seen since Charlie Bronson’s Death Wish.

But what we got was a lighter Batman then we’d seen in the previous 2 movies. Batman Forever wasn’t completely terrible, but it certainly didn’t hold a candle to its predecessors. Sure, Jim Carrey’s ‘Riddler’ was gonna lighten things up by nature.

Batman

And it’s not Schumacher’s fault that the writers destroyed Two-Face, turning him in a joke. And let’s face it, Robin was forced on him.

All these factors, along with Keaton leaving the title role were going to handicap Schumacher, so in large, he got a pass.

2 years later we get Batman & Robin. Surely Schumacher has ironed out the kinks from the last film, right? WRONG. He took everything wrong with the 3rd movie, and expanded on it. He made it Cheesier. He introduced a Bat-Credit Card. Brought in Batgirl in the dumbest way imaginable, and put nipples on the Bat-Suit. Because nothing strikes fear in the hearts of villainy like erect male nipples. Schumacher ignored the very purpose of the first movie and reverted back to the exact garbage they were trying to escape.

Next, the cast:

[quote] “[The cast] is quite a line-up, boasting a broad choice of dramatic styles, and what lends the movie cohesion and integrity is the fact that all those involved have come up with their worst imaginable performances…You sit there feeling brain-damaged and praying for the mayhem to cease.”        – Anthony Lane, The New Yorker. [/quote]

BatmanLike him or not, George Clooney is a good actor. I loved Out of Sight and I thought he was perfect in From Dusk Till Dawn. Then the Academy also liked him in all those Oscar type movies for which he was nominated. I really don’t think you can blame Clooney for ruining this. If I were asked to play Batman I’d of said yes too, regardless of the script.

So then, next to Clooney we bring in Alicia Silverstone, still hot coming off of Clueless and it kills her career. Silverstone was another actress I liked, but she never really recovered from her inclusion in here to reach the heights previously expected of her.

And on the other side of the law, 2 of my all time favorites: Arnold and Uma.

I mean look at that, what the F? Polar Bear slippers? This man is dead inside, he wouldn’t wear Polar Bear slippers to keep his feet warm. I love Schwarzenegger, but this might be his low point, and yes, I’m including Hercules in New York.

As far as Uma, there is no doubt this is her lowest point. What’s sad is these are 2 of my favorite villains and seeing them misused here…well, as Charles Barkley would say: Turrible. And let’s not forget, they took Bane. The man who broke the bat, and turned him into a brainless joke of a henchmen.

Batman

So you have a huge budget for the time, a strong cast, a respected Director, and a cultural Icon. You take all that and give us what amounts to Sub-B movie. Schumacher had a responsibility to the character and he failed.  It was because of this colossal failure that a lot of planned comic movies got shelved, and it wasn’t till Singer did X-Men 3 years later that people started to forget how Schumacher had undone all of Burton’s work.

Well EMPIRE a while back conducted a poll and released a list of the 50 WORST MOVIES EVER MADE. And guess who feels vindicated? Booyah. #1 with a bullet on that list: BATMAN & ROBIN. Not only did it win this dubious honor, but it racked up more than three times as many votes as the second place flop BATTLEFIELD EARTH.

Other notables making the list:
#50 – Spiderman 3
#46 – Howard the Duck
#45 – Blade Trinity
#44 – Matrix Revolutions
#41 – Van Helsing (Screw You Wolverine)
#40 – Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
#39 – Dungeons and Dragons
#37 – Max Payne
#36 – Eragon
#35 – House of the Dead
#32 – The Spirit (Should’ve been higher)
#27 – Street Fighter
#25 – Transformers 2
#15 – Catwoman (Just edging out PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE)
#13 – The Avengers (Uma, NOOOOO!)
#9 – Highlander 2

So there you have it. the WORST. MOVIE. EVER.

Beetlejuice Returning to the Big Screen?

Growing up my sister and I had a VHS with both Beetlejuice and Short Circuit 2 on it. We watched the shit out of that tape, and for that reason, I was excited when I heard that Short Circuit was getting some new life breathed into the franchise. I got nostalgic and intrigued, but now, news of a possible Bettlejuice sequel moving forward dwarfs that. Beetlejuice was for sure one of my favorite movies as a kid.

It also spawned a cartoon I actually enjoyed too. Even if it didn’t make any sense…

If you’ve not seen Beetlejuice because you’re either too young or an idiot, let me fill you in. It stars one of the most underrated actors of all-time – Pre-Batman Michael Keaton. He plays a poltergeist for hire who haunts houses for other ghosts. The newly deceased couple that hires him to rid their home of the pesky living who moved in are played by Jack Donaghy Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis.

The family they are trying to push out, the Deetz family, is portrayed by Jeffrey Jones, as his wife Catherine O’Hara, and their daughter, the one who can see the ghosts, is the lovely Winona Ryder.

It’s been 23 years since the first movie came out, and there have been plenty of rumors about a sequel since then. The most recent come from Worst Previews:

We’ve been hearing about a “Beetlejuice” sequel for years. Even Michael Keaton and Geena Davis have been looking for ways to get the second installment off the ground.

Now comes word that David Katzenberg and Seth Grahame-Smith have just signed a two-year first-look producing deal at Warner Bros and one of their first projects is expected to be a sequel to “Beetlejuice.” The new film will not be a remake. The intent is to reboot it by advancing the storyline of the original.

“We first got to know Seth through his fantastic work on ‘Dark Shadows,'” said the studio. “And it immediately became a priority to expand our relationship with him. Seth introduced us to David. We firmly believe in their talents and are extremely excited to welcome them to the Warners family.”

Both Grahame-Smith and Katzenberg were attached as co-directors for “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” before Craig Gillespie got the job. 

The BATMAN Alphabet

Yesterday Gamma Squad posted their ‘Star Wars’ Alphabet game, and it looked fun. So we’re gonna do something similar…with Batman. Below, listed from A to Z is 26 Batman related characters whose names corespond with the letter they represent.

Try to figure them out before scrolling down to the answers and let us know how you did in the comment section.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

And the answers are…

right…

down…

here:

Dr. Amadeus Arkham: Founder of the famous ‘Arkham Asylum’.
Bob the Goon: Joker’s #1 Guy in Tim Burton’s BATMAN (1989).
Clayface: One of Gotham’s earliest serial killers, debuting in 1940.
Harvey Dent: Gotham’s Most famous District Attorney turns Super Criminal.
Egghead: Created for 1960s TV show, the character was made for Vincent Price.
Lucius Fox: CEO of Wayne Enterprises.
Garfield Lynns: A regular on Gotham’s Most Wanted list, better known as ‘Firefly’.
Harold Allnut: Batman’s trusty engineer and the resident mechanic of the Batcave.
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: Among the most famous of the Rouges Gallery.
James Gordon: Perhaps Batman’s Best Friend and best real ally.
Kate Kane: Better known as ‘Batwoman’, she is Gotham’s first openly gay hero.
Lazlo Valentine: Professor Pyg, perhaps the best new villian of the last decade.
Mad Hatter: Jervis Tecth has a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Lewis Carroll…
Edward Nigma: Better known as The Riddler, this ex-villain is now a P.I.
Oswalt Cobblepot: ‘The Penguin’ was portrayed by Danny Devito in Batman Returns.
Alfred Pennyworth: Butler, Doctor, Cook. He is the man behind Wayne Manor.
Harleen F. Quinzel: The Joker’s love sick girlfriend was once a doctor at Arkham.
Roman Sionis: The real name of the original ‘Black Mask’.
Scarface: Arnold Wesker’s wooden boss, the most violent Dummy in comics. 
Talia al Ghul: The daughter of Ras al Ghul and mother to Bruce Wayne’s son.
Ubu: Sticking with the al Ghuls, this is Ras’ bodygaurd.
Victor Fries: Mr. Freeze, killed by the Joker, was brought back cause of the cartoon. 
Waylon Jones: Killer Croc debuted in Detective Comics back in 1983.
Dr. Double X: If you got this one, I’m super impressed, he’s a shitty 1950s villain.
Yvonne Craig: She was the original Batgirl on the 1960 TV show.
Maxie Zues: King of the Jobbers.

So there they are, how’d you do?